What's shit in my H...
 

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[Closed] What's shit in my Hebe?

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Some bloody creation of nature has reverse-parked its arse into my little bush, that I've not even planted yet, and drops its guts into the middle.

Guessing it isn't any of the resident birds, and next door's cats aren't tall enough (and very rarely venture into my garden anyhow), what the hell has curled one out into my lovely flowery bush...and why??!

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Posted : 25/06/2019 6:39 pm
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fox


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 6:40 pm
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however, it does have a cat shit look about it 🙂


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 6:41 pm
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fox

👆 This.

That's some weird poo but I guess it might just be fox as you have ruled out all the other possibilities.

however, it does have a cat shit look about it 🙂

If that is cat poo then it will stink to high heaven ...


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 6:45 pm
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Bear


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 6:50 pm
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Looks like cat poo, grab its head (whilst wearing welding gloves) and rub it's face in it, then hoof it back over the fence.


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 6:50 pm
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What is this?

Pooniversity Challenge?


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 6:51 pm
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Spider?

A big one obviously.


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 6:56 pm
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Impressive.

I'd say a malevolent midget. Keep an eye out.


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 7:00 pm
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I'm not discounting the cats, but:

a) it's a remarkably tall cat (which next door's aren't) to achieve such a poo-height, and at the least it would have had to reverse into my foliage.

b) cats don't crap generally in plants

c) it's very, erm, lengthy....and has a white residue that suggests a flying dinosaur.

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 7:03 pm
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Two cats working together. One holding the other up. I hate cats.


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 7:14 pm
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Adult Robin.


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 7:14 pm
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What we need is more pictures of shit in this thread. Yep, definitely that. I could never get enough shit pics.


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 7:32 pm
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I take your point, but what did you expect from a thread where the title was about helping me identify a shit?


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 7:46 pm
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Plot twist: It's the OP, and he just wants to show off his handiwork.


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 7:48 pm
 DezB
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Must say I’m with tthew on this. I thought the thread title was a typo, so read it out of curiosity.
Did not expect macro turd shots.


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 7:50 pm
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Whatever it was, it's probably dead by now 'cos that's not a good look!


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 8:16 pm
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Plop twist surely Jamie 🙂

Cat or fox I'd imagine. What does it smell like? Any fur or bones in it?


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 8:20 pm
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Surely the OP - after all bears do what in the woods? Usually of necessity at that.


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 8:23 pm
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Sea Eagle.🦅


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 8:41 pm
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What does it smell like?

I'm ashamed to say that I've been out in my dressing gown and got down on my hands and knees, and it doesn't smell of anything.


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 8:52 pm
 Spin
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Pooniversity Challenge?

Plopmaster?


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 9:00 pm
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quality camerawork.  I almost barfed


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 9:03 pm
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Chris Packhams your man, he is a turd maestro!


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 9:12 pm
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You animal


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 9:18 pm
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Hand standing honey badger. It uses its front paws and the tip of its nose to create a stable base and gain maximum rear elevation.


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 9:19 pm
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I’m ashamed to say that I’ve been out in my dressing gown and got down on my hands and knees, and it doesn’t smell of anything.

In that case NOT cat poo. I grew up with minimum 2 cats in the house (now 3) so you can call me an expert in cat poo. Cat poo stinks to high heaven regardless what you feed them. We feed them posh western dry food ... still stink. Fed them local cooked fish ... still stink. Conclusion is that cat poo all over the world stink to high heaven.

Note that I am only referring to their poo but wait till the little rascal start to pee in your shoes then you will know that cat pee is even worst, as it can be very difficult to get rid of no matter how many time you wash it.


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 9:33 pm
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A Flying Fox? It will be if the OP catches it! 😉


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 9:39 pm
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If it doesn't smell then it's probably bird, though you'd imagine more white stuff in there. Big heron maybe?


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 11:02 pm
 Drac
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A cat with IBS.


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 11:21 pm
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Hand standing honey badger.

In my defence, I've never been able to do a hand stand.


 
Posted : 25/06/2019 11:46 pm
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My money is on the fox.They do it out of spite, I have finally decided. "Ours",prefers to crawl under the fence rather than jump a measly 4 foot to our Neighbours & when we block it off ,the fox has a dirty protest on the lawn.
It also shit in one of my "yard" shoes ,the dirty git.


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 6:57 am
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That’s some weird poo but I guess it might just be fox as you have ruled out all the other possibilities.

Fox poos are like a well formed dog turd with two unequal segments. It would also smell pretty bad.

Thats a bird shit. Something big... Crow or seagul.

I'm going with crow.

One wrong ... Jumped the gun and didn't see the third option.

https://www.rspb.org.uk/fun-and-learning/for-families/big-wild-sleepout/whose-poo/


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 7:01 am
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That size and with a bit of white in it suggests a large bird. Any ponds nearby, if so could be a heron...............


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 7:40 am
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Badger? Usually long and thin hard to tell without size. But if it is Badger they like to have a latrine so that's now your pots.


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 7:47 am
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Thanks for all suggestions (and the disgusting/hilarious quiz link).

It's only a small, enclosed garden with just a 3" gap around a couple of fence panels and whilst there is a pond nearby, surely an inflight heron would leave more of an impact rather than a tightly-curled gift.

Despite the grossness of it all, I'm genuinely baffled.


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 7:59 am
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Badger? Usually long and thin hard to tell without size.

Badgers are short and fat.

Snakes are long and thin.


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 8:02 am
 PJay
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Are you 100% sure it's a Hebe?

[img] [/img]

Perhaps it shat itself.


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 8:04 am
 DezB
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Fox poo stinks. My family dog used to roll in it and wear it as a perfum to attract the local hounds.
If Bear's poo doesn't smell it must be a herbivore...


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 8:27 am
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If Bear’s poo doesn’t smell it must be a herbivore…

Bear poo smells of pepper and has bells in it.


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 8:36 am
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Pooniversity Challenge?

Plopmaster

8 out of 10 cats does pinch one off?


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 8:58 am
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I'm going for Goose.


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 9:09 am
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Yeah big bird - I've been quite surprised by the size of the pigeon poo in my garden, I imagine something heron sized would think nothing of using your foliage for a bit of target practice (although that perhaps looks more like it perched there from the intact nature of the gift).


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 9:28 am
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Fox poo is fairly gritty (probably), rub some in between your fingers and report back.


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 9:33 am
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Bear poo smells of pepper and has bells in it.

Bears drink blended whiskey? Every day's a ...


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 10:04 am
 DezB
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Could be a passing hippo


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 10:05 am
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Yeah big bird


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 10:12 am
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To those suggesting it's the op, everyone knows bears shit in the woods not a shrubbery.

From prior experience of airborne turds, I'd guess that's a goose though maybe a maverick.


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 11:29 am
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Bristol Stool Chart


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 2:33 pm
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I’d guess that’s a goose though maybe a maverick.

Close pass refused?


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 3:40 pm
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As the fox turd spotter for my my garden I have to say it does not look like foxsh.
That's usually black and much less of it than appears you got however they do specialise in
elevated turd drops on plants. Are any of your neighbours feeding foxes?
It looks in colour rather like the turd I was poking with a stick yesterday to try and shift of the drive. My wife pointed out it was a fur ball and picked it up and threw it into the hedge.
Fur balls are usually dry and that heap you have looks a bit watery to me.
Long shot owl pellets?
https://www.wildlifetrusts.org/wildlife/how-identify/identify-poo


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 4:54 pm
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At that size and with the general consensus being bird I’m suggesting Andean Condor.


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 5:19 pm
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Does the neighbour have a shizhou?


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 6:05 pm
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however they do specialise in elevated turd drops on plants.

I hired a huge hanger for a job once and foxes could get in at night. It seems like they would assess the scene each and calculate where the the most upsetting place to shit would be. The first order of the day each morning was discovering what they'd shat on and trying to figure out what kind of balancing act was required to do so.

I'd left my hammer hanging by the claw off the edge of a workbench - somehow they managed to shit on the handle.


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 7:19 pm
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I’d guess that’s a goose though maybe a maverick.

Close pass refused

Well something was certainly passed


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 7:26 pm
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I’d guess that’s a goose though maybe a maverick.

Close pass refused

Well something was certainly passed

You guys are just taking the MiG now.


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 10:30 pm
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Surely as goose would sh#t greener.
I'm going for an escaped big cat......Or Yeti.


 
Posted : 26/06/2019 10:38 pm
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If would have to be a big cat and it would have to stand precariously.

A perching panther or something.


 
Posted : 27/06/2019 7:22 am
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A perching panther or something.

Good point. They do hang around at talk sh*t all day...


 
Posted : 27/06/2019 7:45 am
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It's a fair cop, guv'nor.

I'd like 12,355 other offences to be taken into consideration.


 
Posted : 27/06/2019 8:10 am
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Definitely not a goose or any sort of bird I've ever seen. Agree it doesn' look foxy. My guess would be cat but it's pretty blooming massive for a cat and no smell probably rules that out. I'll be honest, I've seen a lot of wildlife shite in my time and at a loss 🙁


 
Posted : 27/06/2019 8:45 am
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or any sort of bird I’ve ever seen.

Stool pigeon?


 
Posted : 27/06/2019 8:53 am
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or any sort of bird I’ve ever seen.

Shite Hawk?


 
Posted : 27/06/2019 8:54 am
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This has been nagging at me as I was sure I'd seen this before.
Turns out I had, STW has the answer and it's all a bloody ruse!

It was bear after all


 
Posted : 27/06/2019 8:58 am

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