Everyone ages, even the ones that rage against the dying of the light. Some things are expected such as making strange grunting noises when getting out of a chair, intolerance of noisy exhausts and not bouncing quite so well when you have “a tumble”.
I have a problem shaving. I use a bladed razor and shaving oil, this is ok except wearing my glasses is impossible as they steam up straight away so it’s mostly done in fuzzy vision which is exacerbated by the steamed up mirror. My problem is that now my ear lobes are heading down with the effect of gravity I have caught them several times and though the cuts aren’t bad they do bleed spectacularly! This is usually just before something important such as a funeral.
Anyone else got experiences that we can learn from? Sort of an old gits “you don’t want to do it like that”.
I do take care when sitting down in boxer shorts so that one’s covered..
<follows thread with anticipation>
Forgetting how to spell simple words when typing.
Learn not to be taken seriously by anyone under 40. And don't even think about giving them useful advice because you'll only hear "OK boomer" in the second before they fall into the hole you were trying to warn them about.
Having to stand closer to the pan...,
Hair growing out of all sorts of odd places so you have to shave more - I have to shave my ruddy ears!
the 3am toilet break
the joy of radio 3
total acceptance of soup on my fleece
My hands are starting to work less well. I notice it playing guitar.
Also I avoid a lot more biking risks every year.
OP try folding your ear in half and using a clothes peg to hold the ear together while you shave. Only do one ear at a time or you won’t hear if someone sneaks up behind you.
And remember that if the adage that “the older I get the better I was” is true then your former self is continually improving… which is nice.
Cold.
My hands and feet feel colder nowadays even with thick duvet while in bed.
I used to wear shorts inside the flat regardless of the weather but can't do it now.
p/s: also I find those sexy ladies "dancing" on TikTok trying to show off their "bits" funny instead of being aroused etc ...
OP - Grow a beard.
My hands are starting to work less well.
I think I’m beginning to feel the effects of using power tools and other construction equipment for the last 40 years. I’m pretty sure what I’m experiencing is Vibration White Finger, the last week or so my hands really burn just going out in the cold for 30 minutes walking the dogs and I’m getting numb hands quite regularly.
Stay in the room as the hot water runs...the glasses won't steam up as readily as they warm with the room. Same as taking a book in before running the bath - let it be in the room as it warms up and it is fine. Take it in cold and it all goes wrong.
Hair growing out of all sorts of odd places so you have to shave more – I have to shave my ruddy ears!
I’m only in my mid forties and have to do this. If I forget I end up with eyebrows like the villain from a Shaw Brothers Kung-Fu flick
Ruddy ears
the 3am toilet break
This, followed by the 4:30am I can't sleep anymore and I'm thinking about freshly ground coffee
Cold.
And this, I've started wearing socks to bed and wearing unfashionable jumpers in the evening, regularly being caught out by random visitors.
I'll be 51 in 6 weeks....
Chilblains!
Forgetting how to spell simple words when typing.
Totally! 50 this year.
All of the above....😳
er... my 'gentlemans' area... I'm steadily moving down the browns on the B&Q colour selector: I'm at 'Rusted earth' from a previously satisfying 'Brushed gold'.
And it's not a lack of washing. Honest.
#everydayisaschoolday #thethingstheydonttellyou
TBH I wear varifoculs, but when I shave, I don't wear glasses.
TBH honest at 58 I don't give a shit if I miss a few whiskers.
the 3am toilet break
This, followed by the 4:30am I can’t sleep anymore
...and preceded by the 1am, or 2am toilet break...that is, if I haven't already been at 11pm or 12am.
No freshly ground coffee for me though 😢
In the words of Billy Connolly
Things you learn as you get older. Never pass a toilet, never trust a fart, never waste an erection
Getting to lunchtime and realising you haven't had a sexual thought all day. Mind you I'm not sure it that's a positive or negative. I'm not sure how I got any work done in my 20's.
never waste an erection
My libido is... well what libido.
I don't remember it happening until I got older, but farting. Not generally, I've always farted and thoroughly enjoyed it, but since getting older I find I now fart involuntarily when under 'duress'
The most obvious scenarios being
1/ on exercise of some sort - at boot camp in particular and doing abs work. Even worse is the knowledge it's coming but you can't stop it. We were doing one particular pairs exercise and on one repetition I managed to catch it just on a tiny squeaker....but I knew at the next rep immediately following; yep, whole class had to stop and nearly died from laughing as I made a sound like someone tearing a velvet curtain in half.
2/ As I've got older and weeing takes a bit more effort, it's not unknown to rip one out at the same time as pushing for the last bit..... not so bad at home but in a pub, restaurant or works lavvie, is not an easy one to style out.
followed by the 4:30am I can’t sleep anymore
This is what Radio 4 Extra is for.
@fazzini you may want to get checked for BPH, the over-large prostate is a curse.
For me it's the complete lack of interest in getting drunk. I can't believe that I once associated throwing up and waking up with a headache with having fun.
The nocturnal interruptions to go to the loo was an irritanting and growing problem until I went to see a Chinese acupuncturist recently about hip/knee pain. Apparently it is all associated with the liver meridian or something like that, as was nighttime nasal congestion. I now regularly manage a whole night without visiting the loo and I also breathe much more easily. No I really don't understand how acupuncture can help with that either. Unfortunately I still have hip/knee pain.
carrying immodium instant in your backpack when out for long rides just in case. There is something about when you are completely wasted riding when it all starts to fall to bits. Could just stop riding but where is the fun in that
edit: oh, along with only carrying water in your water bottle - just in case.
Having moments when you can't bring to mind something that you have known for years and having to go through the alphabet to try to think of it. 66 by the way so possibly further along than most who have commented on here
Floaty bits before your eyes - thought it was just me, didn't realise its a thing 🙁
reading about any sort of 'complimentary medicine' and thinking, mmm, sounds interesting.
https://somnishop.co.uk/shop/nasal-dilators/nasal-irrigation/yogis-nose-buddy/?aelia_cs_currency=GBP
also I have finally perfected the one drink hangover
I still despise Tories as much as,if not more than I did in in my twenties.
I love all the things that I have learned and done over the years and the way it makes me feel 'tuned in',
some days I am so calm and content it feels like being in a trance.
Until the day I fatally topple down the stairs (after trying to pull on a cycling sock while hopping on one foot)I will remain a curious primate.
After decades of avoidance,I now really like mushy peas.
I made a sound like someone tearing a velvet curtain in half
And, no matter how terrible your day has been/the world is/Giant warranties are**, there is STW to make you lose your coffee on your work laptop 🤣🤣🤣
you may want to get checked for BPH, the over-large prostate is a curse
Oh...😨
** delete as applicable
I was putting on weight and my crotch started itching. I had jock itch. Essentially it's athlete's foot but in an unfortunate place.
Turns out, once you turn 40 you can grow mushrooms under your scrotum.
So many of the above!
Please though, fellow old gits, stop thinking blokes need to stand up, take the weight off and start sitting down to pee. Not in public lavs but when at home, take a seat. You don't even need to open your eyes for the 3am one.
Admittedly, you usually end having a shit as well, but kill two birds with one stone and all that....
Please though, fellow old gits, stop thinking blokes need to stand up, take the weight off and start sitting down to pee. Not in public lavs but when at home, take a seat. You don’t even need to open your eyes for the 3am one.
So much this
Having to stand closer to the pan…,
Pretty much straddle it to catch the drips.
Probably better to take the advice above and sit down for it
Ruined knees.
corns on my feet. WTF!
Floaty bits before your eyes – thought it was just me, didn’t realise its a thing 🙁
Over the age of 50 you start getting vitreous detachment, if you start getting an usual amount of floaters and/or flashers (ie you see flashes of lights when you move your eyes) it is important to get it checked out as soon as possible, it could signal issues with your retina, which can be quickly and easily resolved if caught early.
needing a Numan subscription, brought on by 13 years of heart trouble. ace.
The acquisition and use of a long shoehorn.
Yeh sitting down for a pee in the night was a revelation, don't even need to put the light on!
And yeh, at other times at home too. You'd think after 53 years with the thing controlling it would be getting better not worse!
Much of the rest of my body has given up the ghost with one bionic knee already and looking at wrist fusions too in the future. The ticker is a bit dodgy at times, and I'm needing reading glasses too, but managing with cheapo ones from the chemist.
I do seem to be avoiding sprouting hair from every orifice, but that's about it 😂
Talking of flashes in your eyes. I've started getting bright flashes of white light when I get up in the night for the loo! Only relatively recently. At first I thought it was some sort of static, but it's not, my eyes are closed and it's like a white flash of lightning in my eye.
The acquisition and use of a long shoehorn.
Genuine lolz 😆
It's the only way I can get my Northwave Artic boots on without dislocating my dodgy ankles.
We were doing one particular pairs exercise and on one repetition I managed to catch it just on a tiny squeaker….but I knew at the next rep immediately following; yep, whole class had to stop and nearly died from laughing as I made a sound like someone tearing a velvet curtain in half.
Curse you. Laughing so much reading your past at that I involuntarily let a squeaky one out. No control over it whatsoever.
And now thinking I need to acquire and use a long shoehorn - my winter boots are a nightmare to put on, especially in early morning when my back’s yet to loosen up.
eyes are closed and it’s like a white flash of lightning in my eye.
The flashers are caused by tension on the retina due to the normal aging process of vitreous detachment. It is worth getting checked out though at a specialist high street optician, it's a free NHS service they provide.
I had it checked when I had flashers and a tear in one of my retinas was discovered. It was 100% fixed with laser.
Time is absolutely crucial when it comes to retinas, as after a few hours of detachment and loss of blood supply any blindness cannot be reversed.
I'd better get to Specsavers then 😣
I was supposed to be going ages ago for a hearing test, but I cancelled as I thought I'm not going to wear hearing aids anyway unless my hearing gets a lot worse than it is 😂 According to family it is 😂
I hit 40 last year.
Don't feel much older than I did at 24.
However...
It seems like injuries take an age to heal.
For instance, I flew my kite on a Belgium beach mid November. Took a tumble and dug my knee into the sand. Thought the next day it was just bruised. Fast forward two months and it's still not right. Probably should have seen a physio.... 🤔
I've got what I think is the on set of a corn on my little toe. WTF.
sitting down for a pee in the night was a revelation, don’t even need to put the light on!
I found similar results when using the bath tub. The important thing is to get up before your misses sees the yellow splashes and remove the evidence.
In hindsight sitting would have been easier.
Sharting.
I live alone, always have, so no excuse not go full trumpet. Till, at 52 i followed through and, in a moment of realisation lept out the chair, knocked over a mug of tea, pulled the laptop off the table and still required clean pants.
take the weight off and start sitting down to pee
Done that. Unfortunately our window vents channel the prevailing wind onto the bog seat, so the 3am pee becomes even more of an awakening event after the shock of the now chilled under thigh support.
At 61 you go upstairs, can't remember why though but you're near the toilet now so you might as well pee. You go straight back downstairs and immediately remember why the hell you went upstairs in the first place.
On a brighter note I have become much more accepting.
Shitting myself due to an unfortunate reaction to some meds - oh well, hope I don't meet anyone I know as I waddle from the car to the front door.*
Driving the cat back from the vets, he wasn't happy, so I let him curl up on my lap. After 5 minutes he sits up, lets go a tsunami of piss, sniffs my now wet crotch and vacates to the back seat - thanks Scroobs, hope I don't meet anyone I know as I waddle from the car to the front door.**
More frequently Neptune's Kiss - hello sailor!
*Thankfully the jeans saved the car upholstery.
**Unfortunately the jeans did not save the car upholstery.
My arms are getting shorter as I get older. Or at least that’s what I thought was happening until I tried varifocals….
immodium instant
Ooh, straight off to find that, thanks
Having to stand closer to the pan…,
Sink for the win.
And on the same standards slipping theme - taking your empty water bottle into a tent with you cos you know you'll need a piss but getting out of your tent is all too much and.......your water bottle will be fine for its intended use after a rinse out.
I disgust even myself!
Forgetting how to spell simple words when typing.
Honestly, I blame the Internet for this rather than age. For instance, I have never in my life had a problem with affect / effect. They're totally different words. Now I find myself pausing to check that I've got it right because I've read them used incorrectly so often.
reading about any sort of ‘complimentary medicine’ and thinking, mmm, sounds interesting.
That's a neti pot. I was deeply sceptical but I have a slightly less new-age version and it's brilliant.
Realising you were mostly right all along.
⬛🟧🟧🟧⬛
🟧🟧🟧🟧🟧
Unfortunately our window vents channel the prevailing wind onto the bog seat, so the 3am pee becomes even more of an awakening event after the shock of the now chilled under thigh support.
YOu need one of those fluffy toilet seat covers like your Nan used to in the 80s!
taking your empty water bottle into a tent with you cos you know you’ll need a piss but getting out of your tent is all too much
Fabric softener bottles are perfectly suited (well the wide necked ones are), when i started sleeping in the van overnight i needed an alternative to emptying the bladded at the road side.
Bit of disinfectant in the bottle befor helps.
Forgetting how to spell simple words when typing. Like effect/affect
I find myself getting more pedantic and likely to correct people for this. I don't mean to be condescending, it's meant to be educational - don't people want to learn new things?
reading about any sort of ‘complimentary medicine’ and thinking, mmm, sounds interesting.
It's complementary. Complimentary medicine would be "here's two aspirin, and can I just say, your necklace goes really well with your blouse"
Getting SAGA car insurance as it is 1/2 the price of the nearest quote!
PLUS ALL OF THE ABOVE
Piles....now I have to slow down my farts...push too hard well.....I won't be riding that week
er… my ‘gentlemans’ area… I’m steadily moving down the browns on the B&Q colour selector: I’m at ‘Rusted earth’ from a previously satisfying ‘Brushed gold’.
all the rest I get - but this one has got me thinking WTF!
Can someone explain , I dont get this one - is your cock changing colour? I dont think thats due to aging......
^^^ I'm glad you asked. That one had me scratching my head and thinking "see a doc mate, that's galloping knobrot not age"!
also I have finally perfected the one drink hangover
This! I go out to buy a 4pack on a Friday evening, with a feeling that I'd like to get a bit tipsy - then half way down the 2nd tinny I'm ready for bed and wake up in the morning feeling rather heady.
Plus general aches and pains take ages to disappear - and don't get me started on my Tennis Elbow..
(I'm 50 in a few months)
Deciding I'm not going to ride at Llandegla today because the ambulances are on strike - just in case. Instead I'll take myself off to the fireroads of Delamere on the gravel bike and hope for the best.
I'm about to marry a man who is older than many of you lot! As far as I'm aware he doesn't own an extra long shoe horn, or shart regularly. In fact, he seems pretty spritely. Are you all just massively deficient in Vitamin D and he is going to join your frailty club once he moves to this benighted land? Should I be ordering handrails and nightlights for the loo now?
He's not married yet then? Ergo, not given up on life completely......
You aren't married yet Hannah. He's still making an effort. Just you wait.
You start looking back at the G.W. Bush and Tony Blair administrations and thinking that they may have been stupid and incompetent, but you could do much worse.
My job applications for 'astronaut' keep being rejected
Most of the above but most of all there’s rarely a day goes by whereby I don’t astound myself at my own stupidity, for example cutting my thumb on the sharp knife I’ve just put into the washing up to soak and instantly forgetting about it, reaching around to my left to turn the reading lamp on knowing full well it’s going to hurt my frozen shoulder but figuring this time it’ll be okay, almost losing the tip of my finger straightening out a rotating disc and the most frustrating thing is taking two days to build a bike that should have taken an afternoon due to carpal tunnel hand droppsy
Mark, that’s cruel 😉
I’m about to marry a man who is older than many of you lot!
For his money? Theres always someone like you in any murder mystery novel. Your undoing will be the discovery on a hastily scrawled note 'it was Hann-aaaaaargh'
As far as I’m aware he doesn’t own an extra long shoe horn, or shart regularly.
... as far as you're aware.
… as far as you’re aware.
Would make for an unforgettable honeymoon
I logged in to say something on this thread but I've forgotten what.
Mid 50s I haven't noticed a whole lot. I'm getting a bit slower physically, take a bit longer to heal, a bit more creaky getting out of bed in the morning. Eyesight very gradually deteriorating, have started wearing specs for driving. I'm not shitting or even pissing myself yet though.
Anyway, it's better than the alternative, that's for sure.
