[Closed] Thinking of leaving girlfriend or rather will be leaving

Assuming no kids, just go back to your mums and stop paying for her car.

Thing is I feel guilty about just moving out and leaving them to fund for themselves.

Assuming no kids....

Leave now, why hang around any longer and moving in with your mum (albeit temporarily) even at 29 is not an issue, in fact look at it as a positive, something to drive you on in your career so that you can move to another place.

If you are not happy, get out.

I'd not put up with half of what I've seen you mention on here.

She managed before you.She'll find someone to help after you.

Thing is I feel guilty about just moving out and leaving them to fund for themselves.

She is responsible for her life and the decisions she makes.

You are responsible for your own life and you only get the one.

It is admirable that you worry, but it is not your problem. Go back to your mum, enjoy a bit of home cooking, rebuild your life.

Be selfish. Think about yourself only. Be cold. Think if you get guilt tripped to stay it will get harder next time and you'll end up doing the same thing for the next 30 years.

But don't be a dick. Maybe stop paying for stuff in a few months to give her time to make other arrangements.

Good luck!

In the long run, having a partner who wants out isn't any good for her either.

Kinda no the right thing to do is just pack up and leave now. The house is a zoo. This time last year I was hopping around on crutches trying to pick up animal faeces. It stinks.
Most of the money is spent on feeding animals. bed falling to bits, cooker on the blink. Yet she wants to spendmoney building a custom vivarium for a bloody lizard.

My Mum wants me to come home tomorrow and my aunt has threatened to come and drag me out. Apparently I've turned from a well dressed outgoing lad to a scrubber.

My Mum wants me to come home tomorrow and my aunt has threatened to come and drag me out. Apparently I've turned from a well dressed outgoing lad to a scrubber.

There you go, you're family are prepared to help you out.

Go.

Leave and a call to the RSPCA it doesn't sound right.

You have already made your decision. Although it my seem cruel my advice would be leave now rather than go through a sham Xmas and New Year period.

You're wasting hers and your time hanging around in a relationship you don't want to be in. Don't waste any more time, go.

Moving back in to your mum's temporarily might not seem ideal, but trust me, there are plenty of people who haven't even left home by the age of 29.
You get one shot at life, get out and get on with yours.

Sorry 'in the new year'? Leave now. Its in your mind. The more in control/quicker you do it will make it easier for you. Itcwouldnt be a bolt out of the blue for her would it.

Get her to **** and the manky old boot can get on with failing at life and bringing you down too.

Been there. Regret not leaving after 2 weeks, let alone 2 years.

Dont let it burn you up inside but maybe prepare for the crazy post-dump actions of showing up at your mums/pissing on your doorstep etc etc.

I spent too long in a relationship I didn't want anymore, I wasted 18 months of my life by hanging around feeling pity for someone. Just go, it will be hard and she will text etc all the time till she finds someone new. I assume your off over Xmas ? Be easier to do it now while your away from work so it will have less effect on your work life. If she cared she wouldn't be texting another bloke, focus on that. Your age doesn't matter about moving home, a mate is early 40s and has done the same.

The animal issue isn't fair on the animals and is obvioisly a deeper issue which needs addressing.

After a split/divorce I moved back with my folks aged 38 for 12 months! Not easy but also not hard either. Let me get back on my feet emotionally & financially so don't worry about that.

She's a nut job - run away now.
It's Christmas time, get yourself out and find some new distractions.
DO NOT pup her before you go.

leave, today.

or at least, start subtly moving stuff out - get a self-storage lockup if it helps.

It has made me realise when I looked at my bank account and saw a three figure sum instead of the usual four figure sum. Due to being off work with kidney stones, had it removed on Thursday. Back to work Monday and had two weeks off. And it will cover Bill's just but leave me with no money to buy food. Yet If I didn't pay her car I'd just about manage.

The animals are in good health but it's a ocd 27 ****ing animals! Oki I have four snakes and a bearded Dragon but the rest are hers and her daughter's.

I'm on nights over Christmas so because I won't see her till boxing day due to her working 0745 - 1945 and me 2100-0700 (set off to work at 2000) i planned to stop at my mum's anyway as it's quieter than round here.

perfect, take bags of stuff* with you.

(*important stuff, that you wouldn't want smashed, cut, burnt, etc)

pack a bag or 2 [u]now[/u].

LEAVE NOW BEFORE SHE SPRINGS THE BABY TRAP #MENTALIST

Leave now. you already made up your mind.

Pack your bags, grab your toothbrush and walk into a new life. Take car payment documents with you so you can cancel.
You have such a minuscule time on this planet you may as well be happy for yourself.
Her life will carry on, you do certain things in life for the good of yourself.
It will be hard, you will feel low, but it will get better.

Also, wait a bit longer after this breakup before you have another one.
If you can, block her number. If not, new phone time - get a cheap PAYG sim.
Suspend your Facebook account too.

Life is too short to waste. Get out move on and remember that you are being far meaner to her and yourself if you carry on with a relationship that is not working. So do not feel guilty about doing what is best.

She is a psycho hose beast. Run quickly and dont look back.

Get the hell out of there. You only have one life, don't let it pass you by.

Then take some time to enjoy yourself before getting into another relationship.

Its good to show empathy but don't let the guilt of leaving stop you...move out, the sooner the better. You're young and you've no kids together, you gave it another shot by staying with her this year, your family support your decision so go and with a clear conscience. Good luck

[quote=bwfc4eva868 said] Oki I have four snakes and a bearded Dragon

😆

Is the car finance in your name, or do you just reimburse?

Given the 12 hr shifts, you have ample opportunity to get everything gone that's important in that time

Get it done

I pay for her car and council tax. I have threatened to leave in the past due to the whole disgusting living conditions and she sped home from work and tears and threats of my life ain't worth living if you go etc.

Can she afford not to have you there? That might be a big part of her concern.

[img] #eject%20from%20jet%20seat%20gif%20500x378[/img]

If you're desperately unhappy and want to be out of the relationship then leave asap.
Note that you will be guilt ridden for a while but it sounds like you need to walk away for your own health both physical and mental.
There are two sides to every story but if you're genuinely beyond the point of no return then eevery day is just delaying the inevitable.

I split with my then-fiancee the week before my 30th and spent a year or so moping about being upset, drinking too much etc. It was really difficult adjusting to my new life so don't think that it''ll all be flowers, chocolates, laughter etc on the other side.
Fortunately I met an amazing lady a few years later and now I'm happily married so it all worked out in the end.

I guess my message is do what you think is best for you.

Do one, with all your stuff ASAP, don't waste any more of your life being miserable. I ended up back with my folks in my mid 20's. Don't get me wrong they are brilliant but once you've had your own space, it can be difficult too. Just my experience, I'd be looking for my own place sharpish.

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the opposite of this[/url]

She admitted to me the other day she has £30 a day disposable income!!! I have £25 a day. If I didn't pay for her car I'd have more. So yes she could afford to pay the car. Council tax I'm not on it as I don't wish to fart about changing address from my mum's. Or change my gp etc. But her daughter can pay that as she's 18 now.

Both her and her daughter earn £1500 per month and £1100 with me earning just under £2000 per month.

Been single before from 2006-2008 and to be fair the first few months was hideous till I met my now best mate and we ended up going out on motorbikes each weekend then out on the Piss every other weekend.

He got married in 2009 was with my ex from 2008 till 2012 moved in together late 2011.

So I've been single before but seems like I have no mates left, the above mates now in the RAF, others are busy with young kids. Just me and a school mate left with no kids.

Get rid - you'll meet other better people.

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You will breathe a sigh of relief when you finally shut that door. Life is too short to spend it with people you don't like.

Get out. Been here. Done this. Leave. Now. No point waiting until the new year. Send her to the shops, pack your shit and get gone. Anything else is going to drive you as crazy as she sounds.

Given the OP's luck, he'll chuck her, and she'll win the lottery the next day 8)

leave now pal, happiness awaits elsewhere for you! don't prolong an unhappy broken relationship out of sense of duty, you are doing yourself a great disservice and by staying you are holding her back from finding herself a new life.
leave now .... IMO

Jamie - Freeloader!

Given the OP's luck, he'll chuck her, and she'll win the lottery the next day.
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Lmao, true, 😆

Would money make her house clean ? Probably get dirtier with more animals....

Id still walk.

Would money make her house clean ? Probably get dirtier with more animals....

Yeah, but at least he would have a wing of the house to himself.

...I should add I wasn't being strictly serious.

We all know the OP should run from the....

[img] [/img]

From one old enough to be your parent, don't mess about, get out. I'm quietly confident that any parent would rather make temporary space while you get your new life started than see you stuck in that hole.

I didn't get past the shit on the floor.

WTF are you still doing there? She sounds sub-human.

I have four snakes and a bearded Dragon

Quick, clean cut. And good luck, sounds very hard.

Are you still there ?
Why wait for the New Year?

Her bills and debts are her issues - not yours

She will carry on and sponge off someone else. But that , of course, won't stop her playing the guilt card.

No kids?

Just get the hell out.

You are in charge of your life, stop waiting around for stuff to happen, it won't unless you get on with it.
By not leaving, you are accepting your life, and are entirely to blame for your misery.

Where do you live? I'm pretty sure we can mackle together a posse of people to help you pack.

Agree with Scienceofficer .If she is that much of a dirty slob go now .I have been in relationships that I should have ended sooner .The relief you feel once you go, as in go and take all your belongings is great .

Just get out.

I quickly realised not to rely on Mates, not because they don't care but, like you said, most are busy with families etc.

Join a Gym or simular where you can go and not feel out of place. It should be all about you now, no one else.

I'm on my own 90% of the time, seeing my Mate 2 - 3 times a week and I honestly don't mind one bit. I don't think I could cope without the few hours a week I spend at his with him and his missus and daughter though as being on your own 100 % of the time would be awful.

Fill you head with dreams of the future and what you can do without anyone nagging.

Good luck with whatever decision you take and keep in touch with us all on here. If I remember you are in Darwen, I'm only in Bolton so there's loads of us on here nearby who could meet up for a ride out or something.

Live near Blackburn. Hate the place its full of yonners!
My plan is to stop at my Mum's while on nightshifts and slowly move stuff out.

She seems to think that her texting this bloke who she had a sexual relationship with before getting with me and sent not nude but pictures of her in nighty and low cut tops is just banter. Then when i confronted her about it she claims its just banter between friends. Now I'm sorry but i don't send to my friends male or work colleagues (female) She came home and threatened to smash her phone up and that it meant nothing blah blah.

But deep down i haven't and wont forgive her. Its an instant walk out if it was just a random bloke, but someone who she has a past with is even worse in my book.

My trouble is when i get in a relationship, and im probably not the only one who has done it. But i make excuses not to go out with my mates, as im always thinking, ive gotta get back to clean up etc or cook tea for them to getting in. He is forever asking me to come Gisburn forest with him. And really i should be going.

My plan as i have said to my Mum is to move back, get myself a new motorbike, maybe go abroad on it. Visit some random trail centres on my mountain bike. And then save up and get myself a rented house/flat and concentrate on work etc.

I like photography, especially aviation and visiting Manchester Airport but i find myself having to make excuses to my missus to go there. As apperantly its a waste of Money in fuel.

You are late 20's and at least she's late 40's?

You've scratched that itch dude. Time to be with someone you can have a future/kids etc and holidays etc with.

WILL SOMEONE THINK OF THE ANIMALS PLEASE......

Hora- She's early thirties I'm 29 the week after Christmas.

project- The Animals are fine, infact the animals get priority over me, food wise etc.

[quote=bwfc4eva868 said]Hora- She's early thirties I'm 29 the week after Christmas.

Hora's itch remains unscratched then 😉

She sounds like a selfish rip-dinger, GET OUT NOW, don't forget to take the rabbit to a place of safety???? Find someone else (no rush) who is more understanding of your needs too. You need to be able to do your own thing, bikes planes whatever it is you like doing, that works both ways. No good being sat in the menagerie at 50 thinking "what happened there, I wished I'd have done.........."? Too late.

With an 18yr old daughter? Oh dear. Do you guys look like Wayne and waynetta?

So I've been single before but seems like I have no mates left,

All my old school and uni mates are hooked up now, so I rarely see them. But its easy enough to make new ones - in my case, I just spent productive time in local real ale pubs.

Now most my regular mates are quite a bit older, with no young kids to worry about, and either divorced or have Mrs that are quite happy for them to be out of the house down the pub. Also, you get better advice as they've seen it and got the T-shirt.

Good luck to you.

Listen to the liberated, bunny boiled men of this fine forum.

I worry for anyone who reads the OP, thinks "shit that's me" and can't get out.

EVACUATE

hora- Strangley no. She's good looking, and looks alot younger than her age. But bloody acts like her daughter. Strops if she doesnt get her own way.

Got pregnant when she was 15. The father of said daughter is a right useless mong.

Not being big headed but i used to live in a nice area with my Mum and her partner, my ex used to live in a nice area of Darwen and then me and my ex moved into a nice two bedroomed apartment with en suite bathrooms. But i split with my ex because i said at the time i didn't want kids so she spat her dummy out and slept with another bloke while i was at work.

I then moved back in with my Mum and was just friends with my current missus and went round for a brew now and again, and obviously got it on. And My ex decided to remove what was left of my belongings and dump them here. And i have kinda been here since so two years now.

Now i feel like a scruff, as most of my money is spent on funding the zoo and don't have any money left to go out and buy clothes like i used to.

Sounds like a job for the...........
[img] [/img]
.........A TEAM.

Oh god i wouldn't be seen dead on that program. Can't stand him nor the people on it. Total waste of oxygen. But the photo definitley sums up the situation i find myself in. I'm living amongst Jeremy Kyle type people!

I suspect this is rather like people who make suicide threats don't usually want to commit suicide . If you really wanted to leave her then you would but you won't or can't . Possibly you are a person who doesn't like to disappoint people and you are in a no win situation whereby you want to please your family who think you should get out but you also feel that you don't want to upset your partner . Coming on to this forum is also a strange way to conduct yourself in a personal matter such as this .

Being in healthcare i have to have some care and compassion. And the majority of the time i put other people way before myself hence why i feel a bit guilty about leaving my partner.
And im good at listening to people at work, friends problems etc. But when it comes to my own, i find easier to talk to it with complete strangers on the internet rather than real face to face people.

I do talk to my Mum and her Partner about it, and they give they're oppinions but they say its up to you.

Well you say last time you threatened to leave she was really upset then sit down with her and talk about the situation with her and try and reach some kind of agreement on the terms and conditions that need to change if she wants you to stay . If you are threatening to leave her then you need to be sure that you are able to carry that through if she won't change .

OP you are defending her. Give up and stay. You only have one life. Why not give it to the cats.

You only live once lad, get out and stay out. Texting other men is not acceptable.

Ramsey Neil - Member

Well you say last time you threatened to leave she was really upset then sit down with her and talk about the situation with her and try and reach some kind of agreement on the terms and conditions that need to change if she wants you to stay . If you are threatening to leave her then you need to be sure that you are able to carry that through if she won't change .

Bloxolls !

Hit the road jack !

Remember cat shitt can kill

Texting another man. How do you know she ain't playing you? No one just texts ...

Short term it will bad for all concerned. Long term it sounds like it will be for the best.

Personally I'd be honest and face up to it though, don't just disappear.

Being in healthcare i have to have some care and compassion

When you chat she tries for a bit then reverts back to being what she is in her heart. You cannot live with what she is like in her heart
Fear of hurting her means you stay.
It wont last IMHO the only question is how long ti takes you to realise that

I've got a bit of time off in the week.
Let me know if you need a hand shifting stuff.

I pay for her car and council tax. I have threatened to leave in the past due to the whole disgusting living conditions and she sped home from work and tears and threats of my life ain't worth living if you go etc. And I gave in and 12 months later the animal collection is bigger and she has denied the texting another bloke, threatening to smash her phone up etc.

Also I'm a bit apprehensive about going back to my mum's at 29 year old and I've not been single since 2008.
Current relationship began two weeks after my previous relationship ended.

This might sound a bit harsh, but it sounds to me like part of you would rather be in a relationship where someone treats you like shit, than be on your own. Seems fairly common.

What is realistically likely to happen if you stay? My guess is that she will promise to change and then 6 months down the road the animal collection will have grown and you are fishing cat shit out of your cereal. You will then find pictures of some bloke with his nob out on her phone and find out she's been cheating.

Be honest with yourself, how bad does it have to get before you don't have a choice, and have to leave?