[Closed] Things that are just a bloody stupid idea

I'll raise you wooden with a marble one. Our kitchen is custom made (by us) to fit the room and, as it is an old house, none of the angles are 90degrees. My GF wanted a marble worktop and we finally found a place that would do us one.

I'm amazed at how quickly you can scratch, ding and mar such a perfectly flat surface that cost, if I am honest, a ridiculous amount of money for such a small worktop.

Working for a living.

Dogs (as the owner of one).

Wooden garden furniture in the UK, table is currently very soggy and was already rotting, I'd prefer a concrete and metal one, the boos says it's 'boring' though, won't matter in this weather though.

So many other things!

I do like the look of the wood worktop though!

I’m amazed at how quickly you can scratch, ding and mar such a perfectly flat surface

See also ceramic sinks. When we had our kitchen done, we got a lot of the stuff from a friend in the trade. We specced a ceramic sink but he wouldn't let us get one, said we'd end up replacing it quickly after it got chipped when we accidentally dropped something

See also ceramic sinks.

Oh yes, I was wondering whether to rant about wooden worktops or Belfast sinks, and picked the worktop.

horrible varnish

Varnish is your problem, they should be oiled.

My vote goes to touch screens in cars. Impossible to operate without taking your eyes off the road for (too) long periods. Prone to misfire when your finger is jolted off target. And they look manky with greasy fingerprints.

Oiling my worktop is my least favourite job.
Worktops were solved years ago. WTF have we gone backwards?

Electric opening tailgates on cars. Having spent a few weeks with cars with this feature at various times at no point have I thought ‘wow, this is so much better than lifting it or closing by hand’ usually I think, why is it so f@%##ing slow and annoying

Johnson. /PTerry

Piano black interior in cars. Need I say more?

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For those who don’t know - it’s a panjandrum from ww2. About a ton of high explosive strapped to a big wheel, propelled by a large number of rockets, and with no steering. What could possibly go wrong?😀

And just complete the picture they decided to test this ‘top secret’ weapon on a beach crowded with holiday makers!

Varnish is your problem, they should be oiled.

And that will fix all the problems with with hot things, or wet things, or detergenty things, or any sort of iffy substance, and never need re-treating, will it?

Worktops were solved years ago. WTF have we gone backwards?

Exactly

Massive like to the solid worktops issue. We 100% regret our dark oak which looks utterly shite near the sink no matter how much oil or gubbins we use. It's getting binned off for granite if we could ever find someone who would actually turn up to quote and do it.

Oil is a waste of time you cannot stop the dark patches unless you disconnect the sink and ban all liquids from the kitchen.

Gravel bikes - like road bikes but slower, like mountain bikes but less capable. We live in the UK, we do not have endless miles of graded gravel like they do in the US.

Gearboxes for bikes - less efficient, heavier and when was the last time you broke your rear derailleur - once in the last decade or more.

Loved the look of our solid wood worktop and agree that oiling it is the solution to keeping water off it. However, trying to find a 24-48hr window to oil it and not use it means that it was rarely done. Was very low down on my to do list as something to do just before locking the front door when going away for the weekend

Belfast sinks

Look good in some kitchens. As far as I can tell, that's the start, middle and end of their usefulness. Love the panjandrum, it's so artfully stupid like a carnival wheel of death...WW2 is filled with stuff like that.

Construction of expensive smart phones. What's the point in charging a premium for a nice smartphone that feels nice and premium in the hand and looks nice, but then to stop it from smashing the first time you drop it you have to cover it in cheap plastic!! You don't buy a nice car and cover it in cheap plastic that makes them look crap (well some people do but there is no hope for them). And to top it all off they make it such that they can't be repaired!

Silly alloy wheels - super low profile tyres that make the ride and handling worse.

Agree with touch screens on cars...the most ridiculous thing ever invented. Took a Tesla for a test drive and it was a joke trying to hit the right part of the screen to adjust the ventilation whilst driving on a typical bumpy British B road. Required way too much focus and concentration away from the road and onto the screen. Worse than talking on a mobile phone whilst driving. Should be banned.

Solid wood worktop - tick
Belfast sink - tick
Rayburn - tick

*sigh*

For those who don’t know – it’s a panjandrum from ww2. About a ton of high explosive strapped to a big wheel, propelled by a large number of rockets, and with no steering. What could possibly go wrong?

Good God, here's a recreation.

Brexit. VAR. Disc brakes on road bikes. Prawn Cocktail flavoured Quavers

Bye

Electric opening tailgates on cars. Having spent a few weeks with cars with this feature at various times at no point have I thought ‘wow, this is so much better than lifting it or closing by hand’ usually I think, why is it so f@%##ing slow and annoying

Yep, I sort of get the waving your foot under the back ones, but otherwise they're pointless beepy things.

Piano black interior in cars. Need I say more?

No, no more to be said. If you want your car to look great for about 2 hours on the day you pick them up, then it's the way to go, just accept it will look a manky mess the rest of your ownership.

For some reason I was expecting that panjandrum to be a lot quicker.

Edit: Sorry can't agree with wooden worktops. We have oak ones, had them for getting on 8 years and give them a coat is osmo top oil every couple of years. Still looking good. Any scratches just get sanded out. Agree if your silly enough to put hot pans on them they will scorch, but who would do that?

Disc brakes on road bikes

There also now seems to be a push for 1x on road bikes as well. I know, let me spend lots of money to have bigger jumps in my gears and a higher friction / faster wearing drivetrain.

(Wondering when the triple MTB chainset will return as the new amazing way to get more gear range)

Good God, here’s a recreation.

A modern approach to this concept doesn't look much safer either....

I'll add anything Oak Furniture Land sells.

Many years ago I bought a bed frame and dining set from them. I naively just thought "Oak, how'd they manage to sell furniture out of oak for this money, there can't be many oak farms"

So, it turns out it's not really sustainable, but at least they seem to have a reasonable sourcing policy and I vowed to keep it forever. The table is pretty good, despite having rice crispies mushed into it on the regular, but the chairs are crap, the legs are wobbling and the kids have destroyed the coverings, I could have them repaired, but by the time I've found someone who does that kind of work and someone who could recover them it would cost twice what I paid for them. At least one of my mates in work is keen to take them when they're finally written off at home, he love word working and fancies a chess set out of the legs and frame.

The bed frame is near useless. It weighs a tonne and it's made from big chunky bits of wood, but they wetn really cheap on the fixings and such and it needs a lot of work to be perfect again. My Wife's opinion is it's lasted 10 years, that's not bad, which is isn't for furniture, but I think if you're going to run a shop that's tearing through hardwood at the rate they must do, why not just work a little harder to make it last as long as it's could quite easily do.

Things that are just a bloody stupid idea? How about the very idea that things shouldn't look aged and used..? Be it worktops, sinks or mountain bikes... so I'll suggest Invisiframe for room 101.

We live in the UK, we do not have endless miles of graded gravel like they do in the US.

*looks at map of the borders, smirks, continues think gravel bikes open up a huge area of land*

Other thing with marble worktop, and Belfast sinks ****ing broken crockery.

Dropper posts for gravel bikes. Really? I suppose that farm track won't shred itself!

We have oak ones, had them for getting on 8 years and give them a coat is osmo top oil every couple of years.

Which you don't have to do with formica ones

Still looking good.

Decent formica ones look the same

Any scratches just get sanded out.

Decent formica ones don't

Good God, here’s a recreation.

Catherine Won't.

Catherine Won’t.

Bravo!

I agree with @wobbliscott on the smartphones. Specifically Google. They make a huge amount of fuss about how their phones are splashproof, even to the point of it being the second feature that shows up on their website. The only thing is water damage isn't covered under the warranty, so why even ****ing bother!

Contactless shopping. Use the app, fill your bag, scan the till qr code all good so far. The press the screen to say no bags, the press the screen for contactless payment. So every single person touches exactly the same areas.

Solid wood worktop – tick
Belfast sink – tick
Rayburn – tick

*sigh*

We had the full set in the kitchen of our last house, which was a Aberdeenshire farmhouse.

The Rayburn, installed by the previous owner, was a solid fuel burner and was the sole means of cooking and providing hot water / heating (apart from the immersion heater). It was installed in such a way that it couldn't be supplemented with an oil boiler.

The Rayburn and I had a love / hate relationship while we lived there, mostly me hating it.

Worktops were solved years ago

Were they?

Formica is ruined if it gets compromised and a bit damp. it also has shit edges and crap joins. all these things are design issues as much asnything else though. Wooden worktops shouldn't have sunken sinks or draining boarfds or taps moutned through them in them standing water be bad on quite alot of things.

Infact on that note.

bowl type wash basins. the shoul be nothing that isn't basin between the tap and the basin. Its going to get wet, its for washign, why would you make it a less resistant layout meaning more cleaning.

Which is bradly aligned with any kind of open shelf in a kitch, seperate kitchen units and freestanding cookers.

 the press the screen for contactless payment. So every single person touches exactly the same areas.

I think there's a misunderstanding between what you think they mean by contactless, and what they rest of the world understands it to mean?

(Wondering when the triple MTB chainset will return as the new amazing way to get more gear range)

Can't decide if this is irony of not...

- Opinion-based ‘news’

the shoul be nothing that isn’t basin between the tap and the basin

THIS ^^^

In fact, I'd like to see taps being mounted IN the basin. Yes, you need a bigger basin... but you need room for the tap somewhere anyway.

Low profile tyres on huge rims on 4x4 cars making them useless off road.

Standard cars (non track day cars) that can do well over the national speed limit.

The concept of a 9-5, 5 day working week.

Religion.

I think if you’re going to run a shop that’s tearing through hardwood at the rate they must do, why not just work a little harder to make it last as long as it’s could quite easily do.

Becuase then you wouldn't have to go back and buy a new one?

I'm definitely a fan of the Sam Vimes "boots" theory of economics

The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.

Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.

But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.

This was the Captain Samuel Vimes 'Boots' theory of socioeconomic unfairness.

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/72745-the-reason-that-the-rich-were-so-rich-vimes-reasoned

I pay for quality now. Initial purchase costs a lot more (£300 for some Barker shoes) but they last a lot longer (5 yearsold and they look like I nought them last month)

I think there’s a misunderstanding between what you think they mean by contactless, and what they rest of the world understands it to mean?

You should be able to choose the contactless payment and no bags options by using the app.

Lining perfectly breathable leather boots with ****ing foam and nylon.
Just ****ing why?

Wooden worktop - got them, still look ace after 5 years and never sanded them, just occasional Osmo oil on them.
Belfast sinks - agree. Complete waste of time. I have a proper SS sink on my wooden worktop.

Gravel bikes - I was a hater, swore never to have one then I bought one on a whim and I love it. Go figure.

Electric opening tailgates - if you are shorter like my wife then it’ll mean the difference between driving around with it open until she can find someone to shut it for her otherwise!! We have in the past fitted shorter gas struts to enable her to reach the bootlid when it’s open. Don’t have a huge car at the moment so not an issue though.

Gravel bikes – I was a hater, swore never to have one then I bought one on a whim and I love it. Go figure.

- Forming strong opinions from a position of ignorance 😉

those swing your foot under the bumper tailgates are a pain in the head when you are trying to get out of soaking wet PPE and the thing keeps closing on you.

Beware, not all granite worktops are the same.

My sister had a lovely kitchen put in, sparkling black granite tops. Except everything stains it. God knows what they got, but literally water, coffee etc stains the surface. You can't see the surface as everything is covered in mats. What's the point !

GU-10 light fitting.

#bastards

We had black granite worktops at our last house and they were amazing. I'm sure that they could have stopped an anti tank round if required. The only down side was that it would destroy anything that you dropped on it.

12 speed on an ebike.

We have in the past fitted shorter gas struts to enable her to reach the bootlid when it’s open.

Bit of rope tied to something on the inside of the tailgate would sort that. My last two cars had a handle/strap to help reach the tailgate.

marble/stone workstops - ****ing hateful to fit, really sodding expensive, look shit and really ****ing noisy thereafter. just a ****ing terrible idea.

i love my wood worktop.

oh and boost spacing. **** off SRAM! - what a ****ing pointless load of shit making everything harder to fit together.

and 12 speed! - you can shove that up your arse as well.

don't sit on fence VanHalen, tell us what you really think o0f 12 speed

Admittedly they look nice, but only for about a week. And then they start to look crap

I think that's the point of them? Folk want them to look rustic, lived-in. I have a friend who's really into this stuff: repurposing old futons as a workbench; railway sleeper for a mantlepiece; reclaimed driftwood as a shelf; staircase banister fashioned from old rope that used to be on the side of her boyfriend's dad's old boat or something; etc etc.

Personally I'm with you, I think it looks crap. But she's like "oh, that red stain on the table, that's when Claire knocked over a glass of wine on my 40th birthday! That was a great night, remember when Dave drank half a bottle of tequila and threw up? You can still see..."

Her entire house tells a story, or at least it did until she moved about a month ago. Last we spoke she was building garden furniture out of a couple of pallets or something. Weird woman.

My vote goes to touch screens in cars.

As a lover of technology generally I'm right with you on this one. Invented by Bloody Stupid Johnson. Why have a physical button you can find in the dark from muscle memory when instead you can have a function six levels deep in a menu system that you're already a different six levels deep into and you're doing 70mph in the middle lane of the M6 at rush hour and you know what I think I'll just open the bloody window instead.

Johnson. /PTerry

I swear on my life that I typed the above before reading this.

I sort of get the waving your foot under the back ones

I had this feature on a car once. I read it in the handbook, thought "ooh!" and ran outside waving my foot about under the back bumper for a good five minutes trying to get the bastard thing to open, to no avail. Went back indoors, carried on reading. "... optional extra."

I had this feature on a car once. I read it in the handbook, thought “ooh!” and ran outside waving my foot about under the back bumper for a good five minutes trying to get the bastard thing to open, to no avail. Went back indoors, carried on reading. “… optional extra.”

I think my car has autonomous emergency braking but I'm not game to actually test it to see if it really does. (If it does, it's a good idea though.)

On the sink theme, for my Room 101 offering I give you: over-engineered sink plugs.

I mean, this was already a Solved Problem, right? But no, we have to **** about with something that's worked just fine for centuries. It'll be electronic handbrakes in cars next, mark my words.

You've got the remote control ones beloved of hotel rooms, a little lever or a turny-dial connected to a complex series of Heath Robinson levers which are broken more often than they are functional. I must've rebuilt the one back at my girlfriend's old house a dozen times in as many months. The plug itself has a height adjuster bolt which the entire goddamn world seems incapable of adjusting correctly so even when the stupid mechanism works it either doesn't lift high enough to actually drain the sink or doesn't drop low enough to fill it.

Then you've got the spinny-disc ones. Have we all seen those? The plug is captively mounted on a diametric axle, so you push one side of it down to open / close it. Because, what, sink plugs are highly expensive and often stolen? So you fill the sink, wash your hands / face / armpits / knob / whatever, dry yourself up, then realise you've got to go and fish about in the grubby water again to empty it. And there's no drain-side / sink-side demarcation, the face of the plug sitting in the drain for the last week could now be face-up as you're getting washed.

And then we've got the ones we have in here, arguably the worst of both worlds above. They're clicky-downy clicky-uppy like the button atop a pen. Stupid height adjuster which for added LOLs is in the throat of the drain and near-impossible to access; fish about in the sink after you've dried your hands once, check; the stupid thing seals with a rubber ring which slides inside the throat (ooh, Matron) rather than any sort of taper so it constantly dribbles water out (they write themselves, don't they).

Ridiculous.

I think my car has autonomous emergency braking but I’m not game to actually test it to see if it really does.

I resemble this remark.

I've (allegedly) had it on the last two cars I've had. On my current car it's linked with the adaptive cruise and I know it works because every now and again it'll spy a parked car I'm about to drive around or a car in a right-turn filter lane waiting for a gap in oncoming traffic, then in response promptly shit itself and try to bounce my head off the steering wheel.

Bathroom sinks that have a non-sloping profile behind the taps, preventing any water from naturally falling into the bowl.

I found out that my last car had autonomous brakes when driving up to a very narrow bridge with stone parapets in Northumberland, the road turned sharply left to go over the bridge, but the car clearly thought that I was going to hit the wall. Slammed the brakes on and a big warning sign on the dash. Scared the crap out of me ad the car behind. Luckily as the bridge was so narrow I was only doing about 15mph anyway and the other driver was paying attention so no collision. He probably thought that I was an idiot though

And glass shower screen that "seal" against the flat edge of the bath with a strip of silicon? Why not have the side of the bath sloping or stepped, or the screen mounted inside. Then physics and gravity can do the work instead of that nasty mouldy green/black "sealing" strip.

Things that are a bloody stupid idea?

A lion, in a side car, on a wall of death. I can't decide if it is a bloody stupid idea or one of the best things that has ever happened in the history of the world.

And Brexit.

Nowt wrong with wooden worktops and Belfast sinks. But they belong in artist's studios and workshops. If you've got them in your home because they look good but you get stressed by a few chips and dings, well... I don't know what to say. I bet you can't even reach the washing-up at the bottom can you? Eh? Can you? 😉

See also: people getting stressed about tiny scratches and dents on their cars, which are kept on the street and spend all week jostling in the city traffic. Madness.

Seeing as this is a sink-heavy thread, I'm going to go with those ****y little wash basins that are too small or not deep enough to be of any use for anything, with added bonus of high pressure/large volume tap which immediately rushes over the stupid low-angle slope of the stupid little sink and all over your trousers. Plus non-removable plug which gets blocked round the sides every time you have a shave.

A lion, in a side car, on a wall of death. I can’t decide if it is a bloody stupid idea or one of the best things that has ever happened in the history of the world.

Well, the lion seems to be enjoying itself!

Oh.

Printers. They can get in the sea as well.

I got my first computer in 1983. Back then it was a prick of a job to get a paragraph onto a piece of paper, and almost 40 years later little has changed.

Well, the lion seems to be enjoying itself!

Poor thing must be knackered. I bet it'll sleep tonight!

Electric opening tailgates on cars.

The need to hide boot release from the owner of the car - lets disguise it as a badge or hide it under the ledge above the number plate - but if you have to find it my touch -  lets make it indistinguishable from any of the other vague lumps and bumps under there too.

Oh.

Printers. They can get in the sea as well.

Printers have clearly been invented by someone who has never actually had to print something or ever seen a piece of A4 paper. How can something that is relatively simple be such a total utter nightmare to use?!

I mean, OK, the idea of a printer itself is not stupid however the design and implementation of said printer has always been very very stupid indeed.

Same with vacuum cleaners. Great idea. Usually a woeful design, like the people who invented the motor and attachments have never met the people who design the bags.

Poor thing must be knackered. I bet it’ll sleep tonight!

Probably thinking
"I'll sleep tonight,
It's only a spin away,
a spin away,
a spin away"

Double rant.

I'm assuming someone has already said Brexit ?

Wooden toilet seats ( see also wooden worktops).
White upvc door cills.

Well, the lion seems to be enjoying itself!

Pretty sure the story goes that the lion was terrified and pissed itself, which in turn, rotted the wall.

I’m assuming someone has already said Brexit ?

I said Brexit but worthy of a second vote.

Electronic/electric hand brakes.....
No fun in snow covered car parks, and completely crap for hill starts when you 'automatic brake hold' decides it's too hot and doesn't want to play.....

A cable handbrake saved me & my car when I was in my early 20's and the master cylinder seals decided they wanted a day off - not helpful on a national speed limit road coming up to an island... Imagine doing that with just an on/off switch!!

Leaving an Ex's phone number as the contact on a crash detection app 😜

Reversing cameras in cars. Yes I’m talking about you lady who reversed in to my house because you were looking at the camera and not using your ****ing mirrors.

I think my car has autonomous emergency braking but I’m not game to actually test it to see if it really does.

I resemble this remark.

I’ve (allegedly) had it on the last two cars I’ve had. On my current car it’s linked with the adaptive cruise and I know it works because every now and again it’ll spy a parked car I’m about to drive around or a car in a right-turn filter lane waiting for a gap in oncoming traffic, then in response promptly shit itself and try to bounce my head off the steering wheel.

I've got it, it's triggered twice, at exactly the same spot in Builth Wells (I think) 12 months apart. My Wife's triggers when someone decided to pull out on her on a narrow road.

As for bloody stupid ideas, lane assist. It works well on a simple road like a motorway and will gently stop you straying out of lane, but on rural roads, or worse roads that have been redrawn and there are old markings about, it's not much fun when you're driving and suddenly it's tugging the wheel because you've driven over a bit of white paint or something.

Not fit for purpose.

I agree with lane assist - if you can't drive between the lines you shouldn't be driving!

Reversing cameras in cars.

Not quite the same, but MrsTH has had a number of bumps from hitting stuff because she didn’t trust the (screaming) parking assist beeps…

hand dryers in toilets that don't dry your hands, they move the water around a bit, then you wipe your hands on trouser legs...

my Apple Smart watch that tells me having ridden 100 miles that day, that i have done enough exercise but i have failed my targets as i haven't stood up enough..and then nags me to breathe correctly.

Wooden toilet seats

I quite like a wooden toilet seat. They don't get cold. Terrible idea in places like pubs where, well, y'know, wood is a bit on the absorbent side. But at a home not filled with animals...

Pretty sure the story goes that the lion was terrified and pissed itself, which in turn, rotted the wall.

"I'll wee my way, I'll wee my way..."