[Closed] Stupid things that they do on TV and films

did you just try to kill someone by twisting their neck and only realised they weren't dead when their eyes wouldn't close?

Baddies killing people by twisting their heads quickly. No it won’t kill you, amazingly enough our heads are actually designed to turn from side to side!

I saw one trying to kill an owl that way once. Took him ages.

There's the classic of just hanging up the phone without saying goodbye.

It also infuriates me sometimes when, say, a character is falsely accused of something they could just quite easily explain/provide an alibi for but for some reason they don't and it drags on and on.

Guns that never run out of ammo till the crucial shot to kill the bad guy.

Films, where people are meant to be driving fast doing about 20 gear changes, engine revving like mad, and when they show the speedo they are doing about 70mph.

You don’t shock asystole.

Never lock cars.

Always pull straight into parking place outside the building they are going into, even if it's central London / New York / Hong Kong.

Tyre squeal on dirt tracks too.

Gulp down hot drinks.

Never lock cars.

and if/when they do, the car beeps.

Not looking where they're going when they're driving.

Since the likes of Galactica, the Expanse etc. it now grates when I see space ships maneuvering as if they were in a planet's atmosphere rather than using thrusters etc.

At least give a nod to real physics.

I love it in the Expanse when they are decelerating but still heading towards a planet, spaceship reversed, with the engines burning blue.👍

Gulp down hot drinks.

Swigging from a full coffee cup that's clearly empty. I thought these people were supposed to be actors.

Never going to the toilet

Never going to the toilet

I'm more than happy to not ever see that - acting or not...

Instantly being an expert in the interface of whatever, new to them, custom system/program they are hacking into or using.

Hiding behind vehicles when being shot... Good luck with that in real life!

Not making way for dog walkers.

n0b0dy0ftheg0at
Free Member
Hiding behind vehicles when being shot… Good luck with that in real life!

Behind the engine block might not be too bad? I get your point though.

Drac
Full Member
Not making way for dog walkers.

You little stirrer you.😉

At least give a nod to real physics

Wish they would do this for CGI aircraft. The ones in Pearl Harbour for instance would have stalled out in some situations, pulled about 15g in others, and don’t start me on the roll rate of a Pitts Special for a P40.

Sex, done in 30 seconds and everyone happy.

Generally, things beeping when they are displaying something on a screen. People typing for everything that are doing on a computer. Does no one have to click on things in movie land?

Not making way for dog walkers

Shouldn’t dog walkers only be depicted levitating a foot above the ground, with a halo and accompanied by choirs of angels?

Sex, done in 30 seconds and everyone happy

This. What are they, machines?

Sex, done in 30 seconds and everyone happy.

Exactly...how they can spin that out for a further 20 seconds is beyond me...hardly real life!

Generally, things beeping when they are displaying something on a screen.

Like the special countdown timers on bombs that reveal exactly where they are by beeping nicely every second.

At least give a nod to real physics

Vehicles crashing through things and coming out unscathed on the other side. Gates, barriers, checkpoints, marketstalls, small trees...

Any and all of them would result in severe damage to the car rendering it an instant write off and maybe a slightly dented checkpoint. It's designed to stop a vehicle you moron, it will not let you drive through it at 80mph!

Showing close ups of people injecting themselves… WHY ?

Going for days using phones heavily and yet never seeming to stick them on charge.

Shouldn’t dog walkers only be depicted levitating a foot above the ground, with a halo and accompanied by choirs of angels?

No, they should have horns and carry a trident.

Sound in space. Did they never see a bell 🛎 in a bell jar at school!?

"Let's split up".

Sex, done in 30 seconds and everyone happy.

Exactly…how they can spin that out for a further 20 seconds is beyond me…hardly real life!

I'm including 15 seconds of begging and 5 of foreplay, admittedly leaving out the subsequent 5 minutes of apologising but you've got to allow some dramatic license.

Tyre squeal on dirt tracks too.

And wet roads.

When people are shagging on screen no one's laughing, joking or even smiling, they're all dead serious and smoochy.

the faster you type the quicker you can decrypt.

My pet hate is the Jericho trumpet first associated with the JU-87 and now used (as a sound effect) to signal that any plane (or even helicopter) is in high-speed dive. It's absolutely stupid.

Always pull straight into parking place outside the building they are going into, even if it’s central London / New York / Hong Kong.

Do you mean they should be reversing into the space ?

Nothing happens unless it is part of the plot.

They never charge their phone - except when plugging the wire in causes an explosion or reveals a clue
They never use the toilet - except when they do and overhear a key conversations
They never worry about physics - except when there is a key plot twist based on the exact change in momentum due to the change in relative
They never lock cars except when locking the car means a keyt character is trapped inside

Never lock cars.

and if/when they do, the car beeps

Mine does that...

School movies with most of the cast aged 25+….

Being able to hack into any CCTV system within a few seconds.

Never use Windows or any recognisable PC programme.

Ah yes - computer systems in general that don’t bear any relation to any actual operating system…

People getting injected or drinking sedatives and falling asleep in 2 seconds…

Shouldn’t dog walkers only be depicted levitating a foot above the ground, with a halo and accompanied by choirs of angels?

Now now Bin Bins don't be disrespectful to the new owners of all public spaces.

A car chase, how often do you see one?, people shouting at the top of their voice and waving in a crowded place to gain someone’s attention, people scrapping in the street. Perhaps I’ve led a too sheltered life!

I was thoroughly enjoying Ted Lasso and then Roy Kent just barges onto the coaching staff without a nod to his UEFA coaching licence.

Ruined it.

Super villains never kill the good guy at the first opportunity.

Closing peoples’ eyes after they die.

Not possible to do, please stop!

Not sure where you get that. Maybe after rigor has set in. Otherwise it's completely doable

In a related note though, giving CPR to someone who, after a couple of tepid pumps, sits up, coughs, thanks you and continues doing whatever they were doing.

Sex with their clothes on. They get all horny and gropey, go for it, but leave their clothes on.

Also, the bad guy's getting away but the heroes stop to have a petty argument about who's going to drive or something, they finally sort that out, jump in the car, drive round the corner and they're right behind the bad guy.

Going flat out in a car chase, then changing down a gear and accelerating.

Cocking a weapon after pointing it the other guy in order to show that they are not getting serious.

My favourite has to be "sea cocks'! Every time someone (usually the villain) needs to sink a ship or boat, he nips below and "opens the sea cocks", and the thing sinks! In 30 odd years on ships, I've never come across these mythical things. Do the film makers really think a ship would be built with an inbuilt sinking system...

Running upstairs when being chased. Where the **** do you think you're going to go when you get to the top.

...."Oh now I'll have run along some ****ing roofs and then jump 3 stories into a skip"......

Surely it's just a sea chest vent?

Although on that subject why is the emergency bilge suction valve always operated from the bottom plates? Did nobody think that through? Have naval architects never heard of extended spindles?

Anyway, what I want to know is why nobody ever has a frozen or soaking wet windscreen on the inside of the car, no matter how big a shit heap the car is supposed to be. And every fuel pump is magically self priming.

Having just watched the first couple of episodes of Stay Close on Netflix (which we gave up on as it is utter drivel) I’d question the concept of any police force employing any of the ‘brooding detective’ characters James Nesbitt plays as he’s clearly a predatory sex offence case waiting to happen, yet he’s played that role on 2,397 occasions

Re eyes: have tried many times (albeit in animals after owners have requested it) and it is not possible, eyes remain in an open position unless they are forced closed and then held in that position (eg glued, this is what funeral homes do) until rigor sets in.
Not at all possible to do it like they insist on doing in films, often so badly you can see the person closing their own eyes without the other person even touching them!

On old fashioned telephones, tapping the cut-off cradle to try to reconnect a call. If you weren't cut off before, you definitely are now.
Nobody smokes on new TV shows these days. Or sneezes. Or farts.

Never use Windows or any recognisable PC programme

This first bit of hacking I ever engaged in was using Telnet to access my Stirling University email account off campus (I was later told by IT “not possible”). That’s using the command prompt (admittedly on a laptop from Windows). To be honest showing someone issuing instructions from a text console really wouldn’t be that engaging.

On old fashioned telephones, tapping the cut-off cradle to try to reconnect a call.

Depends on how old fashioned though. Before automatic exchanges that would have connected you to the operator - so not exactly incorrect depending on period.

The reason you don't usually see Windows or whatever on computers is that the studio's want Microsoft or Apple to pay for the product placement. If they did it anyway then they wouldn't pay. When you do see a branded computer it's been paid for. Apple did this in .oat shows and films for many years but have stopped recently. Same with cars, they usually have been de-badged and if they haven't it features very prominently.

Anyway, never mind all this technical nerdery, have you noticed that everyone wears shoes all the time in American TV shows? Even in their own house. Even when it's snowy outside and they just stomp straight in in their snow boots. Noone says TAKE THOSE BLOODY BOOTS OFF YOU'RE RUINING THE FLOOR!

Never mind wearing shoes inside, they only go and leave them on when they tuck their feet up on the sofa! The dirty ****ing eejits.

Swigging from a full coffee cup that’s clearly empty. I thought these people were supposed to be actors.

I see this everywhere and I'm trying to train myself to ignore it. It's not just drinking from an empty cup, it's carrying them too. You can spot it a mile away, just put a small amount of cold water in them or something.

Sex with their clothes on. They get all horny and gropey, go for it, but leave their clothes on.

Or the "morning after", they somehow manage to slide out from under the bed clothes and get dressed with modesty fully intact...

As far as the ‘morning after’ Mrs Binners has commented that if you went to bed with all your make up on (presumably after your hours long shag-fest) then the next morning, far from looking like a goddess, you’d be looking more like Alice Cooper

far from looking like a goddess, you’d be looking more like Alice Cooper

Making me horny just thinking about it.

Re eyes: have tried many times (albeit in animals after owners have requested it) and it is not possible, eyes remain in an open position unless they are forced closed and then held in that position (eg glued, this is what funeral homes do) until rigor sets in.
Not at all possible to do it like they insist on doing in films, often so badly you can see the person closing their own eyes without the other person even touching them!

I can assure you that it works just fine on humans, as long as you get there before the rigor. You can close them and they stay closed.

Or the “morning after”, they somehow manage to slide out from under the bed clothes and get dressed with modesty fully intact…

Lets not forget a complete lack of drool, sleep-encrusted eyelids, and (given the other party's willingness to engage in some wakey-wakey tongue-twisting action) no evil morning breath issues.

I can assure you that it works just fine on humans, as long as you get there before the rigor. You can close them and they stay closed.

Anyone fancy riding alone in the woods with cromolyolly?

Me neither....😱

Sifi films - unexplained gravity on spaceships, oh and noisy spacecraft when filmed from  the outside.

Romance films - lack of foreplay

Westerns - one shot to the belly and  they are dead...

fire protection systems in buildings - how many times have all the sprinkler heads magically starting spraying water out even though there's no heat anywhere near them🤷‍♂️