[Closed] stinging nettles - ouch

[s]Rub the skin with dock leaves - the alkali in the leaves will help neutralise the acid in the sting :)[/s]

Opps - read the OP fully 🙁 Maybe try rubbing in some sodium bicarbonate with a little water and leave on?

A big mug of MTFU might make it better, they're only nettle stings.

Any antihistomines should help, ibuprofen, whisky, calomine lotion. Take your pick.

i know i should MTFU but theres at least a couple of hundred of them.
i havent got any camomile lotion. or antihistamines, and the shops are shut...
would vodka work? 🙂

Er..... I'll take whisky. 8)

Can't you pop out and have a look for some dock leaves?

mmmmmmm......nettle stings 🙂

i like the tingle 🙂

That's summer 'round these parts.
Pretty much a constant tingle on both legs from dozens of them on every ride.

1) wear longer socks
2) have hairy lags
3) the pain from the stings is not cumalative so a 10ft patch of stingers is the same as a 100ft patch of stingers.

I hate nettles

Lots of wincing helps. Ibuprofen helps a bit.

I was showing off to some mates and flew down a little track with a picket fence on one side and a huge nettle bush on the other. Stupidly, I clipped my bars on the fence and flew into the bush.

Arms, legs, face and neck all hot, stingy and rashy. Carried on the ride, tho when I got home was in some fair old discomfort for a few hours.

Today's crash interface was rock - not as painful!

calomine lotion.... antihistimines put you to sleep !!! dont take them ..just use calomine .....

They're all over the place round here, part of riding in the summer, along with the briars, which are going like rockets as well. I think I was immunised by working in the woods when I was younger, but if you do suffer covering up with long socks / trousers is probably the way to go.

BTW they are one of the things the Romans did for us. One story is that they used them like Deep Heat to stop them feeling cold doing sentry duty on Hadrian's wall. No wonder they ruled most of the known world.

[i]3) the pain from the stings is not cumalative so a 10ft patch of stingers is the same as a 100ft patch of stingers.[/i]

Last wed's exploratory ride, of a 100m's track of wet stinging nettles, totally tested my endurance levels whilst riding through them, but they didn't last any longer than any other nettle experience (wake the next day still tingling but then it just fades away). Though think I have pretty good tolerence to the poison(?) as I just get a red skin mark from stings, one of my mates skin really bulges/blotches up after even one sting

Any corner shop will still be open, only the big shops that are shut, go and buy drugs.

I got very stung yesterday. I had all the drugs which helped. I think a really hot bath helps, but not at the time......

Calomine Lotion

Hate nettles. Summer rides tend to involve a lot of swerving and swearing.

right i'm back from the corner shop with some ibuprofen, some mango body butter (the corner shop man's equivalent to camomile lotion), and a magnum ice cream. hopefully those will do the trick...

Yeah? Which are you gonna eat and which are you gonna rub on?
Oh, and you forgot the booze! 🙂

SB

I heard vinegar works, only heard not tried myself

WTFU

My magic little (and legal) 2hr ride out of the house is now becoming a bit of a stinger nirvana. I must be the only person that uses half of it. Considering taking a machete/ scythe type thingy with me and doing a spot of gardening. Could go horribly wrong if I fall off with it stuffed between my camelbak and shoulder blades - "man dies horrible death whilst preventing nancy boy mincing around a nasty bush".

Piss on your legs mate - probably won't help but sounds well hard at work in the morning.

The buzz in your legs reminds you that you've had a great ride. What's wrong with nettles?

I can only echo Guido's post - WTFU

I see your nettles and I raise you the great australian stinging tree. **** me, 4 weeks on and I am still hurting. Thats after 2 rounds of being doused in acid and then waxed. The most evilest of things I have ever had the misfortune to spend 9 hours bashing through 😡

Good trail-side party trick - grab a nettle by its base, then run your fingers right up the whole plant, stem, leaves and all. You won't get stung - the stingy bits point upwards and will only get you if you make any kind of downward motion.

Do you dare to believe me? 😈

NZCol - Member
I see your nettles and I raise you the great australian stinging tree...

It's a right b@stard. You can get the "benefit" by just being close to them when the wind is blowing.

NZCol - Member
I see your nettles and I raise you the great australian stinging tree. **** me, 4 weeks on and I am still hurting. Thats after 2 rounds of being doused in acid and then waxed. The most evilest of things I have ever had the misfortune to spend 9 hours bashing through

Jeepers that sounds worse than the Ongaonga that grows in abundance around here. Fell into a patch of that a year or two back and could still feel it over a week later!!

Inzane - yup it feels a bit like ongaonga but times (and i jest not here) 1000. It sets off some weird lymphatic reaction as well so all the closest lymph nodes swell up and you feel ****n awful. The hydrochloric acid treatment was so sore i had to have a wee sit down for a minute as did a few others who had passed out !. Mine is still so sore i'm going to have to go back for some more treatment which does not make me happy 🙂

The following is based on experience. It is clearly not suitable for any one allergic to stinging nettles. Arm yourself with a pair of thick gloves. Cut down a good quantity of fresh nettles. The best ones are young with pliable stems. A shopping bag full is about fine. Take a nettle and brush it against the head of your penis. If you haven't got an erection so far, this should bring one on. It doesn't hurt much, the sensation is rather good in fact. Brush some more nettles against your penis, the shaft as well. Gradually a rash will appear and little bumps. Keep going. The more you do, the greater the numbing effect so the next bit will be easier. Take a handful of nettles and crush them hard onto your penis. This may hurt, but rub them in well.
You can also take a nettle stalk (which is also covered in stingers) and wrap it around the shaft or behind the head. This is a good way of getting the poison in. Keep going with more nettles. As the poison gets in, the small bumps will join up. This is the desired effect.
As you keep on, the bumps turn into a large all over swelling. The more you do, the greater the swelling until your penis will be stretched real tight, bursting against its skin. I find an increase of about 50% in girth over a normal erection. The sensation is now between pain and pleasure. The nettles hurt, but the penis becomes super sensitive. As you go on the sensitivity will increase. Eventually you will reach the point where the sensitivity takes over from the pain.
Now your penis will start throbbing, but each throb will bring you closer and closer to orgasm. You can try to resist it, but it can be hard because chances are you will come without even touching your penis, the throbbing doing the job for you. The orgasm is intense - as much pain as pleasure. After orgasm you may remain quite erect, and a second spontaneous orgasm is possible within a very short time.
When finally flaccid, the penis will retain its girth but shorten, creating a massive, heavy weight swinging between your legs. The sensation will have gone, leaving your penis very numb to the touch.
A really weird feeling. Gradually - very gradually, the swelling will go down, but a huge lump may hang below the frenum for some time – a day or more. Now the skin has been so stretched it is very sore, and the sensation may make sleep difficult. Over the next few days the skin may start to peel off in a thin layer, leaving a new layer of soft skin underneath. Whether there is any permanent increase in size I couldn't say, but I guess the effect should be the same as a pump, if from the inside rather than the out.
Rubbing the stinging nettles into the scrotum and the anus can produce a good feel, but there is no swelling in the same way as the penis. You can also try filling your pants with nettles and taking a train ride. To do this, wear two pairs of pants, slip penis and scrotum through the fly of the first, and wrap over them a plastic bag full of nettles tied on loose with a rubber band. Try keeping a straight face as you walk, jog, cycle or ride a bumpy train.

Can I please unread that ! 😯

Can I please unread that !

Read the first paragraph.....enough for me i reckon.

Always fun when a STW member just loses it.

messiah - Please tell me you haven't actually done that?! Good for a Monday morning laugh though.

Perhaps I should have put a warning on that?

That's so wrong

messiah:
Perhaps I should have put a warning on that?

Nah...i'm sure it will be fine.

It's what Monday mornings are for......erm...nettles and penises.

Oh boy, there's another google search I wish i'd never done!

I don't think the OP has a penis. 🙁

Jeez, messiah, is that what is meant by "the second coming"?

Cue hordes of STWers being admitted to A&E with interesting rashes "I just stopped for a pee and unfortunately fell into the nettles..."

Do you have a similar use for thistles or gorse?

Messiah posts that every summer. Yawn.

This stuff works. And smells nice

[img] [/img]
Asda sell it

I had the same experience a few weeks back, I fell into a patch of nettles, finished the ride and got home, think I had about 2 hours sleep 🙁

Hurt like an absolute bast@rd for about 5 days after.. 🙄

There is [i]absolutely no way[/i] I am rubbing nettles into my penis. [i]Even[/i] for a series of spontaneous orgasms followed by losing all the skin.

Can't you just partially asphyxiate yourself and put clothes-pegs on your scrotum like normal people FFS??!

Hurt like an absolute bast@rd for about 5 days after.

Apparently the trick is to fall on your penis.