[Closed] Sickness and leaving a job

I thought you had already made plans?

In any case, if you are thinking of not going back then simply quit? Or is it that your notice period is just too long to deal with?

That's an awful situation to be in Saxon.

I can't offer much actual information I'm afraid. I would say that I was in a job many moons back that made me "need" 4 cans of beer at night just to be able to cope with the next day at work. The work day once there was basically just one massive panic attack to one degree or another. It wasn't totally the job,I was going through depression and some other things at the time too but the job was the real destroyer.

It was hellish and I did extricate myself in the end.

You'll get some real helpful info from good old STW of course but just wanted you to know you can get through this situation.

All the best fella.

Get yourself signed off, then start looking for a new job. There's no obligation to go back to your old work and by the sounds of it you don't really want to be working for such a place anyhow.

There's no point waiting for a payoff if the job is causing you so much unhappiness.

PS if your boss says that he doesn't know why you are there, then that's entirely his fault for not managing you correctly.

PPS I'll be riding tomorrow AM, fancy coming along?

I guess it depends on what your employers terms and conditions are. Where I am you can get 6 months on full pay, and then 6 months on half, usually at about 12 months folk are dismissed on the grounds of ill health capability. At which point they get 3 months paid notice and an additional month in untaken paid leave. Clearly this won't make you that appealing to a new employer and in fairness you do need to get signed off sick. Clearly the work place bullying could cloudy up the ill health monitoring process in terms of looking to get you back in work. I've seen quite a few nearing retirement take this route, seems favourable to quitting to them.

Some years ago, I found myself in a similar position, more life going a bit sideways combined with high stress workplace.
I simply handed my notice in and took a couple of months off followed by a bit of work as a Gardiner and other odd jobs for a few months, it did me the world of good, before returning to a similar job in a better workplace.

Maybe doing the sick thing would have been the sensible option and I managed to burn my savings/generate some debt but it was like a massive weight lifting walking away. I'm not suggesting for a minute you quit but for me my life improved massively.

Awful situation.

I had a sociopath boss a few years ago. Absolute psychological warfare from him. If I said black he'd say white. Next week I'd say white and he said black. I wasn't alone in my experience. He had a demonstrable track record of bullying, but he was very smart in covering his tracks.

I was a baw hair away from quitting but I was talked off the ledge.

A couple of months later I got made redundant at the recommendation of the psycho boss and I walked away with a huge payoff.

Basically, hold off as long as possible. Either you'll win or you'll get a decent payoff. Don't jump.

If you go long term sick, it gives you a break from the immediate issues but going back gets harder and harder with every passing week. If you start down that route, make plans as if you're never going back. Even if you try going back after 6 months, nothing will have changed so things will not improve.

Sorry to read this. I had a boss like that ages ago, he knicked all my ideas and looked after himself. I just left, anyway, he got promoted a few times and then sacked. I think if i had stayed I would have stitched him up, gladly I got out. Just not worth stressing yourself out, all the team knew what he was up to, he only had to convince his boss he was competent.

Look after yourself

Go to the Drs - get signed off - put the onus on your company to deal with your long term absence / dismissal - where there is evidence of depression over 12months it is consider to be a disability under the disability discrimination act. When they dismiss you put an ET claim in for unfair dismissal and disability discrimination - it sounds like our employer is crap.

Get signed off before making any decisions. It will be much easier to think after an extended break. Make sure to take the time off properly and not fill it with too much other stuff.

Get enough rest yourself. It's not just work that puts pressure on you, we do it to ourselves as well

Yep been there, short version working in a local authority, some work pressures then essentially bullying by a manager, although not my manager. Escalated to my manager who was an interim, to HR and Director of Services. Nothing happened. Went to GP and got signed off for 3 weeks. In the interim spoke with head of HR and we agreed that I could leave if I wanted to with paid notice period. Six months later the manager who was the issue also left, rather than any action taken, and the sad thing is that his behaviour had at least affected 3-5 others but I’d been the only one to raise it so high. Best decision I made, it was under my terms, and when I came to leave I didn’t shrink away, but told people the reasons for it all. Happy to talk further if needed.

Edit - Just to say I took legal advice and Constructive Dismissal was an option, but I was told it could take 2 years and rip you’re life to shreds...

Sorry if it would like I’m being picky, I’m not but the DDA was replaced by the Equality Act 2010, disability is a protected characteristic, and is described as:

The definition is set out in section 6 of the Equality Act 2010. It says you’re disabled if:

you have a physical or mental impairment
that impairment has a substantial and long-term adverse effect on your ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities

You have an ‘impairment’ if your physical or mental abilities are reduced in some way compared to most people. It could be the result of a medical condition - like arthritis in your hands that means you can’t grip or carry things as well as other people.

An impairment doesn’t have to be a diagnosed medical condition. If you’re suffering from stress, you might have mental impairments - like difficulty concentrating - as well as physical impairments such as extreme tiredness and difficulty sleeping. It still has to have a substantial and long-term adverse effect on your ability to carry out day-to-day activities.

Your impairment doesn’t have to stop you doing anything, as long as it makes it harder. It might cause you pain, make things take much longer than they should or mean that you’re unable to do an activity more than once.

There is a plethora of information and guidance available on this, and reading your post if you’ve been prescribed meds for a while you would certainly come under this category, as did I...

Go to the GP, see if you can get signed off. Then take as long as you need to relax, do up your CV and start looking for a new job. Dont go back.

Work is just not worth that sort of stress. Even if you dont get signed off I'd just call in sick and self isolate for now. That will give you 2 weeks.

What Trimix said.

I had a job where my manager would bully me, and others, both publicly and privately. I started looking for a job at Easter, it took me until July to get an offer.
I was close to going off sick but I did then get an offer.
The week I left the other person on my team handed in her notice, and the attention turned to someone on another team, who also left.
No job is worth that kind of shit. Would have been interesting to be a fly on the wall at the end of all that. HR had already been informed of the bullying but did nothing. I gave some very honest feedback in my exit interview. As did the other two victims

Many moons ago I ended up in a job I hated with deteriorating mental health: endless panic attacks, 1-2 hours sleep a night etc. The mistake I made was fighting it too long and trying to tough it out. In the end I just walked out after a board meeting telling the CEO I couldn't take any more; they had no idea as I'd managed to hide it (as most depressives do). My mistake was staying that long; with hindsight I should have walked out months earlier. Nothing is worth making yourself ill for; just get out anyway you can as soon as you can and find something else.

My father-in-law has been through a similar thing recently, well it's still ongoing.
His boss was a massive cock and, following the f-in-l's diagnosis for Parkinsons, did as much as he could to get rid of him coming to a head by threatening gross misconduct. He eventually resigned with 3 months pay.
He is currently in a process with his house insurance's legal aid to look at how he was treated and they are looking into constructive dismissal and think he has a very good case.
Do you have evidence of his behaviour?
Might be worth a chat with your insurance to see if they can offer any help.
His solicitor seems to be very clued up on things.

@SaxonRider pm'd you .. lots of good advice above though...
See footflaps ... don't make yourself worse.

Basically, anything you can tell me will be most appreciated. I’m a bit of a mess right now…

Sorry to hear about your situation.

After all the good advices given by others above this is my advice. Note that this advice is only meant for when your life is in danger i.e. severe depression etc and affecting your health.

First of all my culture is different from yours so please take my advice with a pinch of salt.

If this happens to me I would do the following ...

You have nothing to loose now (as you are starting to develop mental health) because either way they are going to make you redundant, put in under a lot of pressure, your reputation is going to suffer etc.

The UK law is weak so go in with full rage, when I say full rage I mean just like in the movie with zombie rage and go all out rage on your boss. Get physical.

The situation is either you suffer with severe consequences mentally or physically (illness) or let him suffer.

At least when he suffers he has all the financial security while you may or may not.

Go in Wild Man of Borneo style. Rage!

(My father decked several management bosses when he was a Union Leader in the past and the management all went quiet like a door mouse after that. However, my father did not get any promotion until he retired but many people remember my father all over the country ... even their children remember my father)