[Closed] Problem with Binge Drinking

I have the perfect solution, just drink at home.
It's cheaper.
You'll be with the Mrs.

Problem solved!

I do drink less at home and typically only at the weekend. Maybe 3 beers Friday/Saturday. But that doesn't help the going out situation. I often find myself looking forward to a weekend night out well before it's arrived. By Wednesday I can't wait for a beer on Friday.

No tips- but regardless of whether you're going solo or not, the first thing you have to do is arrange to see your GP and just tell it like you did up there. They'll have intervention teams that can help, this is a common problem.

Best of luck.

Stop going to the pub for a start. You won't go there and have alcohol free drinks. Trust me.

If you are drinking just once a week, it is a habit rather than an addiction, a very strongly embedded habit mind. It gets easier after a few weeks, but is also easy to re-establish.

For the first few weeks I would break your normal routine completely, maybe take the misses for a weekend break, take the family for a meal on friday night, etc
Do things that you will enjoy and break the drinking habit. longer term maybe try and establish a new routine, like cycling Saturday morning, so you have a reason and something you enjoy to look forward to and know that drinking would ruin it.

WLB, sounds like you have got to the point and have made the decision that life must change.
Thats the critical point, nobody else can make that decision for you.
Get help, talk to AA, tell your family that you want to change.

I have spent the morning in an intervention with my BIL, he is close to loosing everything and still can't see that the issue is booze.
I don't expect the intervention will come to much, if anything, and he will be back in hospital very soon.

Good Luck

Or drink every day. Increased tolerance = less hangovers...

Don’t be too hard on yourself about the ‘one pint’ thing. Who in the history of the world really goes out for one pint?

I can sort of get on board with that, if i dont catch myself I get carried away and wind up crawling in at 3am.

I can happily have a couple or not drink but if I reach a threshold I just get on it and wake up ill.

I don't go out much so it never really occurs that often

Volunteer to drive everyone there.

Unless you genuinely have a big problem you won't drink.

However, when I drive I don't even have a half. Zilch.

If your of similar mentality it can be a good compulsion not to drink.

It's also a wake up call to see your friends getting drunk and just how badly they behave... Knowing you do the same when drunk...

All the above said, if you find the week hard to get through without knowing you are going to get lagered up at the weekend, it's going to be a tough fight.

I was like that in my 20's. Solution was to got tee total for an indefinite period (maybe a month, 6months or a year) without putting a date on it there wasn't the need to think about it.

After the first few weeks breaking the habits and mentally going round in circles thinking 'ohh I want a drink' (but in reality only because I was making a big deal of it in my head) it was pretty easy. Go to the pub, socialise, drink ginger beer. Or don't drink anything, once past the initial 'what do I do with my hands' it's fine.

Did it for about 8 months in the end.

Don’t be too hard on yourself about the ‘one pint’ thing. Who in the history of the world really goes out for one pint?

Plenty of people?

You're in good company with this one for sure. No easy way to do it, like taking off a sticky plaster you've just got to do it. The good news is that it gets easier as time goes by. All the little reasons that you vonv8nce yourself mean that it can't be done- social life etc- all turn out to be stupid nothings in the end, things just work themselves out completely fine.

And if you ever have any doubt as to whether you'll be able to do it just remember, you'll do it because you have to. Simple as that!!

Do you go to the pub initially on your own or with friends? If on your own and hoping to bump in to someone but not bothered if you do or not then personally I'd see it as a problem, if it's social drinks with mates that get a bit Leary then perhaps not so much. My view anyway.

I have had to have a word with myself along similar lines.

I cannot see myself having the willpower to do moderate drinking

If you do not believe you can do it, then you have no chance!

Prove to yourself you can do it, or stop putting yourself in the environment where you struggle to make the right decision.

Binge drinking its unlikely you will get withdrawal I would have thought. I am a bit the same way myself. One pint fine, two I get a little thirsty. 3 and I am there until they kick me out. However the last few years I have virtually stopped drinking because the hangovers got so bad.

yes, been there exactly. Was not in a good place anyway...... and the drinking was kind of a release but was creating more issues. My 'that's enough now' switch was broken and it was impossible to go out for a couple. I puked in my sleep twice, waking up in the morning covered in my own vom; I don't know how close to doing a Hendrix I was. But the final straw was a work night out in London. After everyone finished and went home I 'gave them the slip', went back to a late bar-club, and the rest i don't know. I woke up in an underpass, in December, still with my wallet but with all the money taken out of it.

As others have said, it wasn't dependency, I didn't need to drink to function, it was the off switch being jammed open and the only solution was to stop completely. I was teetotal for a year and a bit, which allowed a reset and now I'm a happy social drinker.

In terms of technique - for me it was driving. I abhor drink drivers, so I knew if I volunteered to drive I wouldn't have one; and it was the support of my wife and friends who didn't pressure me to drink, without (friends) particularly knowing how far down the road I was to being in serious trouble. They just didn't ask (and gracefully accepted the lifts!) If your friends can't tolerate that.... find some better friends.

Whenever I binge drink, it's usually because there is something wrong somewhere in my life, like a stressful job, or a messed up relationship. It's unhealthy as life rarely goes to plan.
I'm trying all the usual stuff like mindfulness and cbt and positive thinking. I did manage an extended period of time off the booze completely, mainly through switching to non-alcoholic beer, but ultimately being in the pub means the temptation is always there, especially if you are having a bad day/week.
Research shows regular binge drinking is not at all good for your overall health, so it's positive you are taking it seriously. If you haven't been a binge drinker in the past then it could be you are trying to use it to de-stress.

just stop it and stop making a drama about it.

just stop it and stop making a drama about it.

Wow, what a helpful comment.

Good luck, OP, listen to good advice, hope it all works out okay.

I could tell him to stop being an utter prick to his wife and weans.

That helpful enough?

I could tell him to stop being an utter prick to his wife and weans.

That helpful enough?

Glad to be of service.

Glad to be of service.

You haven't.

Glad to be of service.

It's called Caledonian Tough Love.
Also known as Spite.

There's a really easy solution, see my first post.

Have been through the exact same.
Used to always head to the pub on Friday after work and then spend the night drinking anything I could the rest of the weekend would be spent hungover,ill and not able to do much.

I have now been tee-total for 3 years now and feel so much better for it.Still go to pubs just not as often and always drive.It was hard to break the habit and cycle but once done it was pretty easy to stick to.

There's a really easy solution, see my first post.

Pretty sure you're not an expert in anything except callous indifference.

I'm a fair expect in selfish fathers going to the pub too much.

It's baw baggery, nothing more. It doesn't deserve sympathy.

Seoss’s posts ring a bit like someone who’s had a bit too much sauce tonight and needs to go to bed himself.

There's a really easy solution, see my first post.

But not at all helpful. Why post useless crap?

OP tough thing to share. I suspect your wife is very worried about you. I suggest you soeak to her and you find a way to stop drinking, find something esle to do with the time.

Seoss’s posts ring a bit like someone who’s had a bit too much sauce tonight and needs to go to bed himself.

GlennQuagmire - Member
There's a really easy solution, see my first post.
But not at all helpful. Why post useless crap?

It's not useless, it's the 2 aspects of the OPs post that he should be looking very closely at. ie the detriment of the wife and children. and secondly, that his drinking is purely a personal choice.

Alcoholism isn't a disease, it's a choice.

ransos - Member
Seoss’s posts ring a bit like someone who’s had a bit too much sauce tonight and needs to go to bed himself.

Yup. He protests too much. I hope he's more likeable when sober.

Haven't had a drink since christmas day.

Or just more like-able when I haven't had some bad news, and had to listen to the prick in the corner with a drink in him waffle on.

Anyhow. I'm taking something out on the OP which i shouldn't be. So apologies for that.

But my 2 main points stand. It's your choice OP, stop feeling sorry for yourself and make the choice.

seosamh77 - Member
I'm a fair expect in selfish fathers going to the pub too much.

It's baw baggery, nothing more. It doesn't deserve sympathy.

To be honest, what route did might need to be said. By a friend or relative stuff just not on here mate.

Importantly he didn't an for sympathy, he asked for help.

seosamh77 is right though, you can choose to make things different and I wish you all the best in getting things under control mate.

Have a look for local alcohol counseling services, maybe help just to talk to someone non judgemental.

Been there myself mate - and still am to a certain degree

Disclaimer - my advice might not be the best tonight, as I've had a few myself, but I'll try and give a rational take on it.

Firstly, can I ask, do you and the Mrs have issues? I find that's when I want to go out with the lads most...

Me and the trouble have been together 25 years (I'm 46) and for most of that we've drank too much together (plus other stuff) - it's just become a 'way of life'. However, come the weekend, there's an irrational desire to sod off to the pub. Sometimes it's a release from family life, sometimes it's just a hedonistic desire not to be middle aged and responsible. More often than not, going to the pub is no more thrilling than sat at home, but if you're not there you have the FOMO

On the flip side, some times (usually once a year) I think I'll have a month off booze and do it resolutely - a few days in, I can go to the pub and have a soft drink. It's not actually that hard when you set your mind to it. late on a saturday night when everyone else is ****ered and talking bollocks, it can become a bit tedious, but then just take yourself home and realise you aren't actually missing out on much after all. The next day, you'll feel great and maybe ride your bike, go and take some photos's, or just interact with your family in a much better state of mind than if you'd stayed out and got pissed.

Not sure if this helps, but I'll re-visit with a maybe more rational view tomorrow

Well done for admitting and accepting a problem op, and for putting it out here for people to comment.
Some here have been very helpful, one person is obviously dealing with an issue themselves.
‘Alcoholism is a choice’ I can see why people say that.
Gambling is a choice to me, drugs are a choice to me, cigarettes are a choice to me, all of which I just don’t understand why people do it and why they get addicted.
I honestly don’t know what possesses people to compulsively gamble or do drugs/ fags.
Yet I like a beer, these days a nice craft beer.
I should now admit I drink more than I should.
If I go out riding on my own in the day I inevitably end up having a few beers ‘ meeting new people and experiencing life’ before I head back along the river and pretend I’ve had a really good ride.
Went to Brighton for a training course the other day, didn’t come home.
Feel awful the next day obviously but at the time ‘ I’m out in a place I’m never coming to again and I need to meet these people and experience life’.
If I have one I’m on it.

OP if you want a chat then feel free to contact me, we are probably in the same boat, and if you are close come for a ride. Most people on here would give amazing advice, some are just dicks.

Talk of alcoholism here but op says he drinks heavily occasionally, not just to function. If you can find a reason then that's all very millennial and worthy, but stopping drinking to excess is the real issue here.

Just wind it in OP, go home after a pint, switch to juice or freaking Caliber if it's that desperate. You owe it to your family, you are not the important one today.

I have a tendancy towards bindge drinking but i found it was easier to control when there was really good reasons not to drink. Unfortunatly, for me at least, it tends to mean the drinking is not really the problem, there is normally some underlying problem that leads me to drink as an escape.

So yeah, get help but take a good hard look at why you can't limit yourself.

As above, it's about social habit rather than addiction. So find a different social habit. Join a sport club/gym and turn that into your Friday/Saturday night habit.

Make firm plans/bookings for weekend mornings with your wife and kids which involve you being up and sober first thing and stick to them.

Don't worry too much about your drinking buddies - you know where to find them on the rare occasions in future that you fancy a bigger night out (or not, if you want to stop completely). It could be that in future, you'll be able to help a couple of them out of the same hole.

There certainly is no shame in stepping back from these people and taking a break from that lifestyle.

I'd predict you will feel so energised after a few weeks that you won't want to go back to where you were.

Agree with martinhutch above, make plans, do stuff, get something to focus on other than a session.

Also, have a look at the folk around you in your local, the sad lonely habitual drinkers, and ask yourself if you want to be like that. I find that quite a motivation.

Thanks everyone, so points in there have really made me think.
I've decided to term the situation going "Alcohol Free".
I can see I have a problem with aspects of drinking, although I'm not comfortable with the term alcoholism (yet?). I'm thinking of speaking to someone professionally. We have a good employee assistance programme at work who I think would be a good start.

I also spent this evening writing up all the reasons I want to quit drinking. Read about this one website who said it can help. Will see how it goes.

I also changed my username - used to be woodlikesbeer. But it got in the way of bikes, which I like more!

Used to have zero drinks in the week and a few on fridays and saturdays . Never an issue but the craving for friday first drink annoyed me .

Now if i fancy a drink in the week I will have it . and I am not fussed about week end drinks anymore .

I decided i was drinking a bit too much, bottle of wine between two most night.
Decided to read an alan carr book.
Allen Carr's Easyway to Control Alcohol by Allen Carr.
Found myself giving up for quite a few months,and drink less now.
Read the book, very empowering ..

I just turn down invites to nights out that are obviously going to turn into too much. A few drinks with the right people, in the right place… fine… avoid all drinking "sessions"… any friend that tries to stop you swapping beers for water or a soft drink to moderate the night… avoid them. Or at least avoid drinking with them. Invite them out to do something in a non drinking situation.

I decided i was drinking a bit too much, bottle of wine between two most night.
Decided to read an alan carr book.
Allen Carr's Easyway to Control Alcohol by Allen Carr.
Found myself giving up for quite a few months,and drink less now.
Read the book, very empowering ..

I read the same as I had a problem that was affecting family life. Not had a drink since December 2016 and feel so much better for it. So is family life 🙂

seosamh77 - Member
There's a really easy solution, see my first post.

Here’s an easy solution. Pack it in. You are being far from helpful and trying to troll - as seems to be your habit.

If you must contribute to these type of threads, start more with the longer more detailed posts you end up posting and less with the purposely inflammatory one liners.

Here’s an easy solution. Pack it in. You are being far from helpful and trying to troll - as seems to be your habit.

No, thats not the way I see it. The OP has a problem, not so much the amount he drinks but the effect it's having on his family. Also the fact he realises this and wants to do something about it.
A group cuddle is ok in some circumstances but the OP is neglecting his family and needs a kick up the arse before it all goes horribly wrong 🙁
If he were a mate of mine I'd be doing this along with any practical support I could manage.
OP by the sound of it your only just in control at the moment, this weekend give the pub a miss. You don't need strangers on the internet to make this decision for you, make it yourself.

Having a pop at Seosamh77 is all well and good but did you read his post? It reads as though he's been on the receiving end of the behaviour the op is displaying. Sometimes a reminder that it's not just about us but behaviour affects others too.

Aye, Joe will generally say it like it is, if you don't want differing, honest opinions, then maybe the broad church of the internet isn't the place to ask....

I binge drank for years 16-35, now 40, the weekends to me are for more important for riding my bike and spending time with the wife and or friends/ family,

The hangovers and illness just made weekends boring in bed feeling sh1tty. Don’t get me wrong it was at times fun and I’ve seen the world and it’s many bars and nightlife

I’ve never had an addictive personality and so see myself lucky, we have stages in life and it seems you are hanging on to your youth..

As others have said, go out and drive to the pub see what your friends are like, don’t drink any alcohol , you’ll realise it’s the same conversation over and over.
Plan things for a morning and stick to them.

If I know I’m gonna have a heavy one these days I.ll ensure my next day is free, or plan an easy bike ride or walk out with the wife, do other activities with friends, ride bikes go camping,

Only you know if an odd beer during the week is going to be harmful, personally I can give or take.

Drinking and nights out was always about the social, when I get with friends we don’t mean to swig beer after beer it just happens, are your friends in good places emotionally and in good relationships .. if u see a trend it maybe time to give up

Having a pop at Seosamh77 is all well and good but did you read his post? It reads as though he's been on the receiving end of the behaviour the op is displaying.

😥

I'd say recognising your alcoholism for what it is is the first stage of not being an alcoholic.

There's a wealth of resources out there to help you stop, the next stage is to reach out to them

Good luck

I think you kinda know the answer, the fact is that it is affecting your home life and your relationship with wife and children, you have to ask yourself which you want to lose, your family or your mates down the pub?

If it is the social interaction you like rather than the drink itself, join a mountain bike club where you have a load of like minded people, and where often you can just have a pint afterwards and stop there?

One of my best climbing pals was a chap from Norn' Iron who also had the binge habit; he would get slaughtered most weekends and couldn't open a bottle of Powers and not finish it. During the week he was a normal, sober, intelligent bloke and possibly amongst the one million on this Earth who really make a difference.

He died of liver failure in his early fifties, Daddy to a young son. The liver is an amazing organ that can mostly self-repair from mild damage but repeated abuse will eventually kill it.

We all miss him badly.

Hiya,

I used to drink a little too much I just cut out drinking during the week altogether. The problem I had was I didn't like sugary drinks, the alternative. Well that was the case till my other half suggested I should try tomato juice, so now I have Tomato juice with loads of Tabasco 😉

JeZ

Maybe just get some plans for the weekend so you don't go out.

If a night out is a social thing just go out less often and skip rounds or drink slower.

It sounds like things are coming to a head and you know what you have to do.

I stopped drinking 18 months ago and it has all been positive. More money, fewer calories, no crushing, depressive hangovers. No shame, better health and sleep. Any social obstacles are in your mind, most people don't get wasted all the time, more than you think don't really drink at all.

Crack on!

I quit drinking and drugs for similar reasons. I appear to have no off switch and some pretty self destructive tendencies. Wish I could offer other advice, but if I were you I’d knock drinking on the head unless you’re confident you can just go out for one or two.

If it’s any consolation I don’t miss it in the slightest.

Don’t be too hard on yourself about the ‘one pint’ thing. Who in the history of the world really goes out for one pint?

on this point - me - its my normal pattern over decades

one is more than enough for me

However I understand and am close to people who are seldom actually sober in their lives

i used to binge loads too. but nowadays its quite simple - there is no way im sacrificing my saturday morning ride for friday night boozing! ill still have few, I also look forward to that beer on a friday! ive just learnt when to throw a bag on it rather than end up 'out out'

As much as i enjoy a night out on the beer, i value waking up without hangovers more!

Afternoon drinking is the one. as long as i get a good, long nights sleep on the back of a skinful im usually alright!

I have to admit to liking a drink on a night (most nights) and sometimes drink more than I should but bloody hell – how much are people drinking that it means they can't actually function the next day? I think if I ever drank so much (unless it was a special occasion like my 50th last year when the next day really was a write-off) that I would be told pretty quickly and in no uncertain terms to sort myself out by my wife.

I pretty much don't drink any more, I had years of serious binge drinking in my 20s. For me, a big help is having mates who are into daytime fun, biking, camping, surfing, whatever it might be, so you can get your fix of social interaction without having to get pissed.

I had to ditch some friends who couldn't cope with hanging out with someone who doesn't drink.

The main thing is you acknowledge it as a problem and you want to do something about it.

I don't drink very often anymore not at all during the week and maybe one weekend a month probably miss the odd month throughout the year, find it hard to drink enough to get as bad I used to when I was younger as I just seen to get to a point where I just stop whereas old me would have ignored this feeling...

I just seen to get to a point where I just stop

Also when I say "younger" I'm 27 so I peaked very early in my drinking career

Figuring out some good reasons to change your habits, and keep reminding yourself of them, I think you've made a good start, OP.

These days I find myself healthier, wealthier and wiser without the habit(s). And don't miss them either.

After similar experiences and trying a few different strategies (with varying degree's of success) I felt that at some point I always ended up in a similar place in how I felt about my drinking.

I read Alan Carr's Stop Drinking Now just after new year and am now teetotal. Remove the alcohol and you will remove the problem. The problem is the alcohol and how as a drug it convinces us wrongly it provides us with a benefit rather than a load of negatives.

Its a good book in that it helps to convince you that you arent actually giving anything up. You are liberating yourself from a load of stress and hassle.
Ok, you could say its only been two weeks but writing this post is the first time I have actually thought about how long its been since my last drink. I'm not bothered about counting the days because it makes no difference because I dont drink.
I spent nearly 4 hours on the pub yesterday and only had two large glasses of fizzy water and trust me I'd normally be several pints and probably half or more a bottle of wine down in that time and looking for more when I got home!

Not read everything but having a close friend who is in a similar situation I can say this:

AA won't want to know, you're not the right fit. However, go and speak to your GP and they will be able to refer you to an alcohol councillor. My friend cleared all the booze out their house (most of it to mine!) and has been teetotal since. They can drink, they are allowed to drink but they would just rather not as, like yourself, they didn't know when to stop.

squirrelking - Member

AA won't want to know, you're not the right fit. However, go and speak to your GP and they will be able to refer you to an alcohol councillor. My friend cleared all the booze out their house (most of it to mine!) and has been teetotal since. They can drink, they are allowed to drink but they would just rather not as, like yourself, they didn't know when to stop.

Seriously? I think the OP should attempt to make changes to his lifestyle on his own first, then if he is unable to make those changes stick perhaps seek help.

You think someone that binge drinks on the weekend should go to AA? - A close member of my OH's family is a 'real' alcholic, not what people describe on here that think they drink too much, binge on weekends or have 3 pints a night.

He drinks 3 bottles of wine a night, plus beer, he drinks whisky by the litre bottle (in a night), he drinks in the day, he retired early because of it, he couldnt drive to work because of it.
He has now changed colour, has pissed blood, cant drive anywhere, forgets almost every conversation he has and repeats the same story over and over again. His life is OVER, his family have tried to get him to AA, he wont go, GP, he wont go, tried blackmail, getting angry, not visiting him, nothing works so its now an impossible situation.

There are people with drink problems and issues, and alcoholics, try not to confuse the two.

Crankrider, did you quote the wrong post ?

You are basically saying the same thing as the post you quoted, while sounding you are arguing against it.

Am I? He suggested seeing the GP and would suggest AA if he 'fit' - that's my understanding anyway.

It was also a response to the general attitude of assigining anyone with a minor drink problem an alcoholic.

I said nothing of the sort!

Perhaps read it again, I said he didn't sound like the right fit for AA. To expand I mean he doesn't sound like a typical alcoholic therefore not suited to AA.

My friend was in exactly the same situation as the OP and by going to the doctor they got referred to the RIGHT person for counselling. I never once said either were alcoholics nor was that implied.

Why did I recommend a councillor?

I cannot see myself having the willpower to do moderate drinking, so I've concluded I need to go tee-total. I did the same with weed which I became hopelessly addicted to during uni. I just stopped. [b]But with alcohol I am worried that it will not be so easy.[/b]

Has anyone been through something similar and got any tips?

That's why. Because I've seen it before.

AA most certainly do deal with binge drinking and many of the people who attend do so for that very reason. Binge drinking is professionally recognised as being a massive problem. Not that I am in any way implying the OP needs to go I would add. I do agree that there is a difference between alcoholism and binge drinking. An alcoholic might binge drink but you can be a binge drinker without being an alcoholic.
Irrespective of the above the same trigger exists for both and that is the first drink that you have, not as many binge drinkers may think the fourth or fifth.

I was only going by my firends experience. They contacted AA and were told their problem wasn't suited to them.

johndoh - Member
I just seen to get to a point where I just stop

Kinda the same for me - I might have a few tins whilst cooking but then stop when I sit down and eat my dinner.

midday boozing!! slippery slope...