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Not had a drink for ages, but currently four large bottles of cider in.
I feel invincible.
What next?
'Er indoors has kyboshed a random bivvi/bike ride, I appear to be unable to play the guitar and apparantly dancing to the Faces in the garden is a bit naff.
Not reached the shouting at clouds/soiling myself stage yet, but willing to experiment.
Suggestions please.
Reading a forum on the internet with one eye closed so you can focus
Ebay.
Post pics when whatever it is has been delivered.
Fix the aerial on your roof.
Cul de sac karaoke.
Pub. Karaoke. Kebab.
Sorted.
Drink more, go out and fight an owl.
Lie on the grass and look at the stars
Credit card and ebay
At that point I would generally fall asleep 🤔
Board games?
Xbox?
Furious masturbation?
Well, I'm out of ideas then.
+1 for online shopping
Guess how I paid £76 for two pairs of pants 🤕
Cheese on toast. it will fend off the worst of the hangover
More drink
More loud music
More drink
Frozen sausages and an unpleasant neighbour's lawn.
Send some fun messages to entertain your colleagues via whatever WhatsApp groups you have, or maybe all of your company would love some words of wisdom via the work “send to all” address.
Order a ticket to see John Cooper Clarke in Tenby tomorrow like I just did?
Find some stairs, ride down them, but phone the ambulance beforehand
Grateful Dead. Naked whirligig.
Xbox?
Furious masturbation?
Well, I’m out of ideas then.
You forgot the drunken realisation that you can combine the two then trawling ebay for a Master System and a copy of Olympic Gold.
Grateful Dead. Naked whirligig.
Dead Kennedies - Too Drunk To ****
Coke and hookers?
Move onto spirits then invite neighbours - by standing naked in garden and bellowing...c'mon over, it'll be fun.
Definitely +1 for online shopping
Jess wept. You loto are amateurs
1. Tell your wife she's been holding you back all these years
2. Argue
3. Cry
4. Drink more, preferably sherry from the bottle
5. Kick the head lights in on your own car
6. Assault the neighbour who comes to see if you're alright
7. Drink more, preferably spirits
8. Go in to town
9. Get told to go home
10. Sleep in the garage
4 large bottles? I predict a piss, shortly followed by another. And another. Then sleep, followed by an early morning piss. 🙂
I bought a TVR one night and was woken by the guy revving the nuts off it first thing in the morning* as he reversed it off a flatbed.
*possibly about midday
Lots of water, lots more water, and coffee and paracetamol beside the bed in the morning. Maybe a bucket.
[i]Lots of water, lots more water, and coffee and paracetamol beside the bed in the morning. Maybe a bucket.[/i]
That is a womans approach, TVR is much better idea - oh, just spotted the username -. Carry on
Hannah, stop being sensible...
https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/374117392977?hash=item571b226251:g:7bUAAOSwT9NhgrOy
Should get that through on the Mrs credit card?
Keep on drinking.
Get some food delivered.
Put on some music.
Chill.
ps. that's what I'm doing 🤣
Thanks for all the suggestions.
Absolutely arseholed.
Have drunk water, just about to try and fall asleep to some Terry Riley.
Love, light and peace.
Doner Kebab.
Yes, it will make you feel dirty but you know you want to.
Cant make it to the rough end of the high street? Fear not, its the 21st century and Deliveroo or Justeat have operators ready and waiting for your order and, as you will no doubt have passed out by the time they knock on your door, rest assured that they will post said kebab through your letterbox ( for you to discover in the morning/afternoon when you wake up*) before riding off into the night on their eBay franken-e-bike special/Honda Cub90 with no exhaust and bald tyres.
*in this event, you will still want to eat it even though its been lying on the carpet for about 12hrs and the dog/cat/children has probably eaten half of it because, well, its a kebab...
I now want a kebab...
@wca a beetle? Think bigger.
https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/224911092962?hash=item345dbeece2:g:MqMAAOSwLf9iQ2Vn
Imagine her disappointment when she discovers the JDM Integra you bought her is a pair of headlights attached to a CRX (even if it is an SiR) that was styled by the only Ali G fan in Yokohama.
Pete glad to see you are getting match fit for my visit, unless you can do at least 3 bottles of red wine with no apparent issue then your going to fail.
Perhaps my standards are a bit alcoholic?
Oh and Hannah its your bloody birthday I'm disappointed your not absolutely hammered, I don't know you youngsters no kin stamina
Doner Kebab.
I was just going to suggest that. But wait till its 2am and then go looking to see if you can find an open take away.
Sunglasses required
I get pissed every day
And just end up scrolling through the shit on here 🤣🤣
Rock and roll
Much as I enjoy a good strong altered state sensation of being a bit pissed, I can’t bear being hungover. I wanted to spare the OP that horror. Birthday levels of pissedness are waiting until next weekend, I have kids (including a visiting one) this weekend so am being responsible. Extraordinarily, they are all up already, even the teenagers.
Going to be disappointed if the O.P isn’t currently lying in a pool of their own filth, shortly to be awakened and immersed into a deep introspective hangover, riddled with self loathing, paranoia and the effects of catastrophic dehydration.
If not, the whole evening before will have been in vain.
Did he get a kebab? Bonus points if he dropped it on some gravel and then scooped it up and ate it any way.
I haven't had any alcohol since last August and sober ain't that great either.
Days go on for eternity without respite - up at 6 and still not ready for bed at 11 so how the hell to fill the hours?
People who were just slightly irritating are now brought into real focus but you're still not allowed to kill them.
How you feel in the morning is about as good as it will get all bloody day.
People keep commenting on how much weight I have lost and how much slimmer I look but get shitty when I say how much older and greyer they look. If they didn't want to discuss how we both looked then they shouldn't have started it.
People keep telling me that I must feel better and I must be happier. Why? I don't, I just feel sober.
I miss nights on the piss and that slow morning after where things gradually cme back into focus and you eagerly await whatever the postman brings.
Argh I miss the days of getting wrecklessly drink on a whim. Nowadays I'm with Hannah, I just hate hangovers and the after effects for a week or more. That said, I'd embark on a impromptu sesh in a heart beat. They're the best.
How's the head?
WCA have you thought of applying for the post of poet laureate?
[i]WCA have you thought of applying for the post of poet laureate?[/i]
I think, perchance, your username suggests you are more suited
🙂
Nowadays I’m with Hannah...
Congratulations! She seems lovely. 😁
Slightly revised posting, just for Verses
Sobriety
I haven’t drunk alcohol since August and sober ain’t all that great
Days go on for eternity with no respite.
How the hell to fill the endless hours?
People that were just slightly irritating, bearable only through the soft focus filter of drink
Now in sharp focus they are not, but I am still not allowed to kill.
People speak openly on how different I look but get stressed when I say comment on them
You’re slim and your jeans don’t fit
You’re grey and your face has new lines.
If they didn’t want to discuss their appearance then they shouldn’t have started on mine.
People keep telling me that I must feel better.
Why? I don’t, I just feel sober. Again.
I miss wild, reckless nights with the slow hazy mornings that follow
Where things gradually come back into focus and you wonder what Amazon will deliver.
The curtain is lifting in my mind and I see why the sober are sad
Extraordinarily, they are all up already, even the teenagers.
They're broken, send them back and claim under CRA!
I woke up with a mystery beer injury. My left knee is really sore. It took a few moments to remember I'd tripped over in the garden and fallen down a couple of steps onto some slabs. Didn't drop my wine glass though.
I see why the sober are sad
Beautiful, just beautiful.
Full bottle of red last night, feel crap now 😳
Going to be disappointed if the O.P isn’t currently lying in a pool of their own filth... riddled with self loathing, paranoia
He is.
It's called Burnley.
Where things gradually come back into focus and you wonder what Amazon will deliver.
I'm in this post and I don't like it.
I don’t really drink often anymore and I truly miss it sometimes.
In my 30’s - There’s someone at the door!
Who could it be?
Why’s he got a massive box?
Oh, I appear to have purchase a slam man, games console, donut wizard (delete as applicable).
In my 20’s - Where am I?
Who’s house, garden, bus shelter, driveway, phone box is this? (Delete as applicable).
I simply can’t handle even the mildest of hangovers anymore 😕
[i]In my 20’s – Where am I?
Who’s house, garden, bus shelter, driveway, phone box is this? (Delete as applicable).[/i]
I went to a party in Portsmouth once, met some people and went to their boat party and woke up on a jetty in Lymington
In my mid 50’s and contemplating becoming an occasional drinker, hangovers from a few large gins or a bottle of wine are becoming unpleasant !
Is he still alive?
Good call Bunnyhop! I think he may be feeling rather delicate this morning
Did he get a kebab? Bonus points if he dropped it on some gravel and then scooped it up and ate it any way.
My dog loves finding the remnants of a kebab on the floor, she even has a go at the chillis if I don't spot her in time.
[i]My dog loves finding the remnants of a kebab on the floor, she even has a go at the chillis if I don’t spot her in time.[/i]
Goes down the throat just fine. Comes out the arse like a flock of starlings
How’s the head
Like a Frenchman is living in it.
Your not match fit are you Pete!
Yesterday started on the G&T's at 4pm, to the pub @6pm 3 pints of cider with some friends back home for food and 2 bottles of Douro.
No hangover suggests I'm match fit but that's not really to be advised, anyway the pubs open in 4 minutes and they have a live band on so CHEERS
I can’t see this ending well. What are you going to do to him?
#prayforpete
It was our wedding anniversary yesterday. I was drinking porn star martini’s in the afternoon, followed by lots of red wine last night. I would advise against this
And what’s this nonsense about ordering kebabs? The whole point is the frisson of danger of the 3am kebab-house experience as you duck the angry looking bloke throwing chips at your head as you shout ‘everything on, mate!’
Best thread for ages!
OP
I hope you let the neighbours know how much you love/hate/despise them and explained the sausages and why their dog/cat/hamster is walking funny. Enjoy the motocross bike when it arrives, did you remember to buy a helmet so you can wheelie past the kebab shop later.
When alls said and done ,(as Binners hinted) 'Geezers need excitement' 🙂
In my mid 50’s and contemplating becoming an occasional drinker, hangovers from a few large gins or a bottle of wine are becoming unpleasant !
I’ve found ramping up the price / quality of your tipple helps. As per others I can’t really cope with more than a couple of drinks, so savouring something decent slowly is more satisfying for me.
As for shenanigans, hiding your friends passport in the grill while he’s passed out isn’t the best idea, ‘cause everyone wakes up and starts warming said grill for Bacon right…?
I'm eagerly awaiting an update on how Rustyspanner is feeling this morning.
As with a lot of folk in this thread I cant be done with hangovers it's a waste of a day. Watching le mans and yesterday my wife had bought me a good selection of beer to have while watching ...... think I had 3 of them over about 9 hours.
Even the kids say I'm a light weight.
🙂
Today? Fine, happy as owt.
Yesterday? Not good.....not good at all.
Anyway, reminded myself why I don't drink much anymore!
I was talked into it by the 84 year old neighbour, but I've always been easily lead. 😀
Back to a life of sobriety now, until next time!
Glad to hear it Pete, here's to the next time 😀
Well my evening didn't quite go according to plan as I tore a ligament in my ankle.
57 year old big units really shouldn’t try pogoing, just because the covers band did SLF’s Suspect device. Yes I think the reasonable quantity of Aspall Organic Cyder might have had a bearing on my stupid behaviour.
So the lesson is drinking makes you do silly things, don’t do it kids 😉
😀
I did the same thing wearing new boots to a Culture Shock gig not so long ago.
We grow old, but not up.
I am seriously disappointed that no-one suggested a game of Dundee Roulette (i.e. coming home pished and trying to fry some chips... surely I’m not the only one here that can recall the halcyon days of the 70’s?)
It's windy out there, go and hang out yer livers to dry.
You're all alive, hoorah.