[Closed] Is it just me.......

I can hold my hand up and say I've played my part in that... But I try to keep my disagreements to one thread and not let it carry into others, it's never personal it's all just debate.

That being said I think it's a much wider thing than just this forum, the world and social media is very, very confrontational compared to say ten years ago.

Probably not worth it as someone will be offended by the funny bit then the usual will commence...

Have you tried putting urine into a humidifier. I hear it has a very soothing effect.

https://twitter.com/Popehat/status/1487510074901688323

I don't know whether to laugh or cry at that

That has to be a piss take?

I'll get my coat😁

I've just returned to this forum after a lengthy self imposed hiatus. I took myself away after questioning why I was consistently being an argumentative dick - most times for the sake of it and even more bizarrely, with people who's opinions I'd more often that not agree with. Behaviour I still don't really understand.
For most of us who have been here a long time - even before the great crash - this was our first taste of social media and the strange behaviour it produces from all but the most grounded of us. I guess to that end, we got an early taste of how the online world was going. I didn't like it.
Those early days in the 00s though were great fun, especially Friday afternoons. Maybe we got bored of that and confrontation proved to be more 'entertaining' ?
I've removed myself from all social media except here and Strava and life is better for it.
Sorry this isn't the witty thread that the OP was looking for 🙂

I’ve just returned to this forum after a lengthy self imposed hiatus...

...I’ve removed myself from all social media except here and Strava and life is better for it.

+1 After a spat with TJ last year I took three months off STW to Christmas, read "Digital Minimisation" and did the same. I learned:

a) No one wins an internet argument
b) Life is a lot less stressful without them
c) You still can read and learn a lot from a forum without typing anything.

I've resolved not to be involved in arguments upon my return.

I've been here since the days when the site was called 'GoFar' and used to post regularly on the site. I rarely do now, because so many people are looking to pick a fight. I lurk nowadays. It's still a great source of information and entertainment, but I rarely contribute now for fear of offending someone's sensibilities.

I tried to think of a funny thread to start but couldn’t.

TJ I always find it funny when you opine on fashion ; ) [pics take it to another level 😃 ]

I was consistently being an argumentative dick – most times for the sake of it and even more bizarrely, with people who’s opinions I’d more often that not agree with. Behaviour I still don’t really understand.

Yes I recognise this in me.  I have been better at walking away than I used to but still not quickly enough perhaps and I am too quick to anger

Gausss -but but but - I am a fashion god!

[url= https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49690377023_7aacfd6108_o.jp g" target="_blank">https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49690377023_7aacfd6108_o.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/2iGYaUk ]90598825_10157034157988388_7107141036211699712_o[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/25846484@N04/ ]TandemJeremy[/url], on Flickr

even more bizarrely, with people who’s opinions I’d more often than not agree with

I recognise and agree with this.

I’d love to see more discussion, and less arguments here. Sometimes many of us drop into argument mode when there really is no need. “That’s an interesting point, but here’s something that might run counter to that”… should be a possible way of using a forum… but it so quickly descends into people wanting to be acknowledged as right. Or prove someone wrong.

It doesn’t help that in recent years the internet is deliberately a wash with misinformation propagated for financial or political gain. The “what do we do when presented with often disproven and debunked lies” issue is hard to deal with. Should this stuff be allowed to take over all corners of the internet unchallenged? When it’s copied into threads here, can we leave it to sit as “just another opinion”, or should we call it out for what it is? Personally I’d like to see it reported and removed, as challenging misinformation tends to just increase its ability to travel and more people come to accept it as just the other half of a balanced outlook.

There are some subjects I just avoid. It has always been the case that "the pack" sense an opportunity to leap once a pile-on starts. I don't think that has gotten any worse over the past wee while

I'm now more likely to make a comment and leave a thread alone than to get involved in some argument. I think it's useful to hear other views, even if I don't agree with them.

The ratio of long-running Chat threads seems to be greater than ever, pushing actual bike-related stuff down the list, but avoiding the Chat section still means missing some interesting stuff.

For all its supposed bias the forum still represents one of my primary news channels. The level of knowledge and debate usually surpasses anything the MSM provides.

There is still inspiration and enjoyment to be had from the various riding threads. It's a pity we don't see more of these (I'm guilty of not contributing).

I still pay my annual subscription to support the forum, so I guess I still see it as value for money.

I have been better at walking away than I used to

I've only been telling you this for 13 years. It had to sink in eventually.

I only post on here when I have been bored and made a video or have made a video and got injured.

I seem to be on here quite a lot unfortunately

Tbh we do live in interesting times 🙂

I’m actually an AI chatbot from the future here to get hold of an old ibm portable so I can run some software to save the future.

a) No one wins an internet argument

I do! Ask TJ he always loses 😂😂😂

I stopped posting on here a while back after an accusation was directed at me which I felt was unjustified and deeply offensive. It's just the internet and all that and yes I should have a thicker skin, but it genuinely left me reeling in a 'how could anyone actually think that about me' kind of way.

It didn't last long, I like it here too much and there is so much knowledge and good advice which outweighs the negatives. It has changed the way I use the forum though. I mostly avoid controversial subjects now and am wary of interacting directly with certain posters.

It's all too easy to get into a spat sometimes and forget the real world social niceties when the target of your irritation is just an anonymous username. I'm as guilty as anyone, but am trying really hard to be less of a dick!

The real shame is, you just know that you'd get on fine over a beer in the real world with people you fall out with over trivia on here.

" . . . but it genuinely left me reeling in a ‘how could anyone actually think that about me’ kind of way."
Yes, I experienced that too, one reason why I rarely post these days.

I stopped posting on here a while back after an accusation was directed at me which I felt was unjustified and deeply offensive. It’s just the internet and all that and yes I should have a thicker skin, but it genuinely left me reeling in a ‘how could anyone actually think that about me’ kind of way.

Certain humour doesn't work. I can write something thinking that it's a bit of banter and it might be taken otherwise (I'm guilty of thinking that we're all "mates" on STW - sometimes I judge that incorrectly). I like to read the best into folks interactions and assume they mean it in the best possible way but there are times that it is easy to forget this and end up in a downward spiral of negativity.

The incident Kryton refers to with me is a microcosm of what I meant i guess ( assuming we are thinking of the same rugby one)

We had both previously rubbed the other the wrong way.  I made a post which to me was a lighthearted challenge and intended to set up some fun and banter.  Kryton saw it as a boring banging away at the same boring thing and gave me what for and we both went to defcon9 in two posts.  Did not reflect well on either of us

I've also been here since the Go Far days and I still love this place. It has probably the highest proportion of well-educated and fairly smart people  of any online space that I frequent - and nearly all of us ride bikes too! I recognise TJ's observation though - Brexit and anti-vax in particular have inspired/caused a decrease in the level of civility. But if you can stay off those threads (difficult, because they do seem to have a morbid fascination, for me at least) things are much as they were.

Certainly a couple on here I’ll not engage with. Having also had unpleasantness from them in the past. Some people seem to take everything very seriously. Not much lightheartedness in here at times.
I think as is generally the case in life, the few spoil it for the majority.

Dare we tell peple to go ride their bike ?

But this place seems to be both grumpier and less funny than it used to be.

It's just a reflection of the current state of the world right now*, nothing to majorly worry about.

*Once we arrive at the sunny uplands we've been promised it will only be funny stories and total agreement on everything.

I joined back when ti front axles were a ‘thing’ and I registered as MrTT and my name came up as **** (as it obviously thought I was from the darkside and not just a FF).

A couple of times I requested I be banned (as I was being a bit of dick, normally about the sky fanboi fappers repeating the ‘he just lost weight, he always had the engine’ mantra). Mostly for my personal well being and mental health.

More often than not I find myself writing a reply to something, thinking about it before hitting submit and going.... naaaahh and hitting the forum refresh button instead...

There is a lot of the same people saying the same thing over and over and then there’s the real dicks who think that trolling ‘serious’ threads (that have genuinely helpful to people) because, well, I guess because their sock is already full.

To me the tenor here has reflected the political situation and I’ve decided (like the UK) I don’t really want to be a part or associated with it any more... so I ditched my sub and I’ve been trying to limit/minimise my participation with an eye to UDoI.

Personally, I blame brexit 🤪🤣

The ability to hide posts from certain people as a forum function would be definitely be a help...

Some temporarily, some permanently.

Never ceases to amaze me how someone can be a complete arse on one thread and turn up on another like nothing has happened and expect to treated seriously...

Brexit/COVID/fracturing of society by social media bubbles has left everyone burnt out and grumpy to some degree IMO.

Apart from me obviously. I'm a ray of sunshine.

Still very much this also

It has probably the highest proportion of well-educated and fairly smart people of any online space that I frequent

Yes, I experienced that too, one reason why I rarely post these days.

@esme That was my strategy for a while, but life is short and good people on here do outnumber the perma angry and opinionated. It is possible to tread carefully through the minefield of contentious threads and the handful of resident roasters.  Maybe you should give it another try.

bliokeuptheroad

Thats very much the flips side.  I have had some lovely support and encouragement on here and truely value that

For me personally its clear I need to keep working on " make my point and walk away" but its not easy.  As a community is the anything we can do?  the mods do a good job by  and large IMO

I was just about to press the ‘submit’ button about something that annoys me but changed my mind.
I do a lot of that nowadays. Best way.

It is still my go to website when I have a vague question about an obscure topic that I am almost certain no-one other that the inventor will know about. It is normally answered in depth within about an hour and 5 posts followed by advice on how to tidy my garden and the state of my skirting boards.

I seem to remember a thread along the lines of "What is the whine you hear on a plane before the main engine starts?" and within minutes we had two aero engineers discussing the exact pre-fuelling engine it was likely to be based on the plane the OP was sat on and when that couldn't be confirmed it was cross referenced by someone who knew which companies flew where and which planes they used.

I am sure if I had checked back a couple of hours later they would have identified the seat he was sat on, when it was last inspected and the grade of thread used to sew it up.

It's all gone downhill...

....well, more like gravel.

esselgruntfuttock

Maybe the forum needs an extra thingy for the stroppy gits like me.  After you hit submit nothing happens for a minute then you get a pop up saying " are you sure you want to post that"?

🙂

Or just keep all the Same Ten W anchors on the Keir Starmer thread and don't let them post on any other topic.

It has taken a massive dive over the last few years sadly. People are far less tolerant of others who have a slightly different opinion than theirs despite pretending that they are tolerant. I guess that's just people for you though. It's become a whole lot more venomous and personal. I've had a DM where someone threatened me with violence once! Totally ridiculous! 😀 Maybe its the reflection of what a prolonged period of stress does to the collective?

It's still a great place for advice though and regardless of how niche ones question or situation is, someone will know something close to the answer.

I miss things like Kylie Friday (who wouldn't?!) and the light heartedness of yesteryear, but things change and people move on.

@tj - haha i always that kind of time delay would have been great for a mobile company for when it's 2am and you send 'that text'!! They'd have cleaned up from me alone! 🙂

I’ve resolved not to be involved in arguments upon my return.

No you haven't.

I’d love to see more discussion, and less arguments here.

See, I see them (usually) as debates rather than arguments. I have lost my rag occasionally but it's rare and as per TJ I try to walk away first.

I can write something thinking that it’s a bit of banter and it might be taken otherwise (I’m guilty of thinking that we’re all “mates” on STW – sometimes I judge that incorrectly).

I'm very guilty of that. It's not a STW thing, I've been on t'Internet for 30 years and "everyone knows I'm not being serious" is an assumption I still cannot quite stop myself from making.

This is extremely anecdotal and generalised but I'm sure I've noticed this in people recently. Not surprising given big events like covid, rise of living costs, social isolation, uncertainty, arguable constitutional crisis, etc. There's a lot of stuff wrong at the moment, and its the first time we're in a situation like this, on such a large scale, during the divisive age of online connectivity and social media

Always wondered why old people are grumpy as a kid. Think everyone is just getting older and having to deal with.. (delete or add as appropriate):

Politics & division this brings
Money troubles
Health troubles
Divorce and relationship breakdown
Death of family / friends
Mental health
Less time
Removal of the old style classifieds
Getting too old to free ride and moving to road cycling

People not brushing off jokes, abuse or crashes like when they were kids and riding less. Less in common. Less young people who joke about on the forum as they are all on TikTok or something like that.

As I get older I see why older people get grumpy.

The political thing is even harder. This place is left leaning but left when I was at Uni is now hard right 😂

Have noticed other forums simply banning all politics, vaccine, race and gender threads. Basically if it can cause destruction of the user base the thread is killed instantly. Focus on the bikes and everyone will get on fine.

I find myself writing a reply to something, thinking about it before hitting submit and going…. naaaahh and hitting the forum refresh button instead…

I didn't have any new years resolutions this year... so I'm going to try and do this... often.

As a community is the anything we can do? the mods do a good job by and large IMO

The mods do a great job. Just one change to improve things? Brand new accounts requiring their posts be approved by a mod before the rest of us see them, at least in the chat forum, or perhaps just in threads marked by the mods as ones that are regularly gatecrashed by people trying to deliberately make them unpleasant.

I was grumpy, and a bit combative, now less so (I hope). Only got the one temporary ban a couple of years ago 😊

Honestly, it's generally a nice bunch of relatively like minded people on here, which is why I've hung around for 15 years (or so)

As a more general observation, people in general (not just on here) have been grumpier this last year or so. I wonder why?! 🤔

*Edit...it's nicer here than on Retrobike. I stopped engaging over there about 5 years s ago due to some properly entitled 'gatekeeper' types.

It's because PerchyPanther isn't here anymore

Maybe the forum needs an extra thingy for the stroppy gits like me. After you hit submit nothing happens for a minute then you get a pop up saying ” are you sure you want to post that”?

When I feel I'm getting into a negative discussion here I kind of do this myself. I either wait ten minutes before writing a reply, or write it them leave it for ten minutes and read it back to myself. Then I take out all the angry bits and post what remains, or decide none of it needs to be posted.

There's only one regular poster on STW that irritates me. I find them unnecessarily rude, aggressive, and insulting when they are arguing with me or others. They rarely argue with the point being made but rather twist that point around and make accusations. When they realise they are losing they start a lot of "won't you think of the children" type comments, telling others they are insensitive and uncaring. I try not to get involved when that person is around, even if I think I have something which will add to the discussion - it's not worth the agro, there's no chance this person will change their mind about even a small thing.

Apart from this person I don't believe any regular on STW has annoyed me at all - others here have been interesting and informative.

I now have a collection of voodoo dolls. I'm just waiting for some hair samples.

There’s only one regular poster on STW that irritates me. I find them unnecessarily rude, aggressive, and insulting when they are arguing with me or others. They rarely argue with the point being made but rather twist that point around and make accusations. When they realise they are losing they start a lot of “won’t you think of the children” type comments, telling others they are insensitive and uncaring. I try not to get involved when that person is around

That'll be me then 😆  😆

LOlz@ dyna-ti

I now have a collection of voodoo dolls. I’m just waiting for some hair samples.

What's you plan for binners?

What’s you plan for binners?

Amazon have run out.

.

Seems I've bought them all.

I think there is a problem across all media at the moment, there seams to be very little high quality uplifting entertainment, everything seams to have lost it's happiness and hope, everything has to be serious and gritty. This place is just a reflection of wider trends.

everything seams to have lost it’s happiness and hope, everything has to be serious and gritty

Well I tell ya that chase scene for Boba Fett wasnt serious and gritty, rather seriously shitty.

MSP
Full Member

I now have a collection of voodoo dolls. I’m just waiting for some hair samples.

What’s you plan for binners?

Can you inflict a shart by the application of voodoo ?

Just asking for a friend 🙂

It’s because PerchyPanther isn’t here anymore

That’s a symptom, not a cause.

Also...

Can you inflict a shart by the application of voodoo ?

Poodoo?

Voopoo, surely?

Thinking about it there is a rugby forum I used to use a fair bit which has become unusable with the trolls taking over so maybe its a more general thing?  That forum suffered from weak modding tho with the trolls getting away with it which of course then leads to less posters posting.  I think the traffic is dow 80% on there now

Maybe we need tougher modding for a bit?

Or a twelve step progamme for the stroppy twerps like me?

"I'm TJ and I am an arguaholic"

@TJAgain - I think being a bit of a grump is a sign of being unhappy with something about yourself. Most people's grumpy or aggressive responses to things can be explained by ego at some level. You were pretty rude to me on one of those threads but I can forgive you that and offer a hug if you need one?

One thing I realised recently that 80% of the time the personality I project on the forum is more of a dick than it should be, simply because I am at work.
When I cycle I don't surf the Internet. When I'm climbing or skiing I don't surf the Internet. The only time I do is when I'm too tired to do anything useful, like now, or at work like tomorrow morning.

Which portrays the unhappy dickish side.

Not so Jude but i am not wanting to derail this.

I will also say thats a pretty rude presumption.  You do not know me and I do not remember interacting with you much on here.  Its the sort of statement that gets folks backs up

I think being a bit of a grump is a sign of being unhappy with something about yourself.

I'm not sure about that.  Everyone is grumpy at times aren't they? Unless they are some kind of Peter Perfect.  Certainly everyone I know of around my age is.  I'm pretty happy in my skin and have lots of things to be grateful about and am mostly cheerful, but at 57 I don't have the patience I once did for some of life's irritations.  This may manifest itself in the occasional grump.  I do try to ration myself though.

There are some subjects I just avoid.

Unfortunately it seems now that nearly every subject ends up being politicised.

The only subjects I can think of that are fairly safe are plumbing {plumbing issues always end badly} and bacon {It's great!}!

Not so Jude but i am not wanting to derail this.

TJ you said my argument was 'pure pish'; I can handle that personally but it's hardly the voice of someone willing to debate with either an open mind or good manners.

BTW for the record I have always preferred Shimano to both SRAM and Campy and do not see the point in worrying about how large wheels on MTBs are, though having been a dyed in the wool 26 incher since, ooh about 1990, I did rather have to swallow my pride the first time I rode a 29er on my local trails and literally set PBs on every strava segment 😆

But you're right I don't know you. What does 'TJagain' signify then? Jude the Obscure is one of my favourite books and seemed like a fun pseudonym for an internet forum (where these days you have to be so careful not to tread the wrong line of received wisdom lest you get hounded!)

A Binners voodoo doll? Just stick pins into a steak bake :0D

JUde  You have a pm.

.the "not so" was in reference to you suggesting i was unhappy in myself not in response to you stating i was rude - thats the limitations of text based discussions.

Brexit/COVID/fracturing of society by social media bubbles has left everyone burnt out and grumpy to some degree IMO.

I think this is very much it the wider-wold is pretty rubbish right now. I don't post as much as I used to I find posts get picked apart and you have to be super carful how you word stuff im likely guilty of it myself too. Best thing I ever did was remove auto sign in. Now if I don't care enough to sign in and comment clearly I really don't care that much.

I use my own name for a reason, well two actually. I couldn't be bothered coming up with a username and I think twice about posting because I use my own name.
And I reckon the only people left with a sense of humour after the last two years must be the Government.

Confession mode. I’m BBS and I’m a dick.

I’m not a dick on purpose, it’s just some things don’t translate into a forum very well. I cut my teeth on a forum for a small rock band where thread derailment and taking the piss was necessity and activity encouraged. There weren’t any mods, it was a small forum and most posters knew each other.

I spend a lot of time not replying to threads, more often than not the threads move so quickly that my point would be lost or there has been a reply by someone far more knowledgeable than me.

I’ve also noticed that certain threads end up the the same few posters arguing over semantics, and any other discussion or viewpoint killed to death for being “wrong”.

Also I don’t always see nuances in others posts, being on the spectrum. I’m also as thick as mince. Well, I’m bright enough to know I’m not as bright as others.

Oh, @TJAgain. Zammit is far quicker than VDM. 😉

tj it is great that you are planning to be nicer as you were pretty rude and patronising towards me a few weeks ago which meant that I have barely posted since.

Cricky cletus - I don't even remember that one at all.  Apologies

Covid thread?  I lost my rag with folk on there.  I know two folk I lost my rag with on there one of whom I managed a civil discussion with afterwards but I don't remember losing my rag at you at all.  Apologies again.  I really loathe being seen as a bully 🙁

Part of why I started this is I was genuinely angry on the covid threads but also aware I over reacted in how I posted.

Edit - if you want to PM me with the details it might be useful for me to have a look at it seeing as I have no memory of it

TJ you said my argument was ‘pure pish’

That is harsh. "Utter rubbish" was how he described my argument a day or two ago. I obviously got away with it lightly.

Still don't take it personally..... it's his way of saying that he strongly disagrees with you.

See, I think it helps when you’ve actually met someone & had a natter. I met TJ a few years ago & my impression was changed. Not that my initial impression was a negative one, just different.
It can work the other way though.

Esch you're a sensitive bunch 🙂

I stopped posting on here a while back after an accusation was directed at me which I felt was unjustified and deeply offensive. It’s just the internet and all that and yes I should have a thicker skin, but it genuinely left me reeling in a ‘how could anyone actually think that about me’ kind of way.

Full disclosure TJ, this was you as well.  It was months ago and I don't want to resurrect it but it did stick with me.  To be fair you did apologise at the time but perhaps be aware that some of the things you say do stick with the recipients and colour their judgement of who you are*, even if you can offer a quick apology and personally forget and move on.

Fair play for starting the thread though and showing the self awareness to recognise that it is an issue.

*perhaps unfairly based on some of your more positive and helpful posts I have subsequently read.

Oh ffs

I don't know what to say now.  I hate upsetting folk.  It really upsets me.

Jude. You have a pm.

I hope you started it "Hey"

Will everyone please stop getting upset!

Hey no worries, I've seen you post enough other stuff that paints you as a decent human to recognise that the interaction in question doesn't define you. The internet is rubbish for communicating. The same discussions that lead to handbags on here would be totally different face to face, where you can see a real person, not just a usermame, and have differing viewpoints but still respect and be civil to each other.  We are all guilty of not doing that on t'interweb.

You shoot from the hip TJ. You are driven by strong emotional urges so consequenctly you don't give much thought to what you are actually saying.

Personally I welcome that as it invariably means that you haven't fully fact checked whatever point you are trying to make, which obviously makes it easier to counter.

I don't fully understand why some people seem so sensitive to your opinions of them though.

Still, not all people are the same and it's important to remember that imo. Some of the stuff I say to binners, for example, I wouldn't dream of saying to other punters. Binners doesn't strike me as a sensitive sort or someone who gives a toss about what I think.

Binners doesn’t strike me as a sensitive sort

The guy plants spring bulbs.

Please tell me that he has an allotment and makes jam

Hmmmm - this did not go as I thought.  🙂

Time to get the sackcloth and ashes out I guess

I shall sit in a corner with my gruel mumbling to myself

BTW - and for clarity - I am not devastated by this but clearly some issues I need to ponder.  Ernie might have hit it on the head with "Still, not all people are the same and it’s important to remember that imo"  I tend not to register names very much so do not always realise if its someone I have jousted with before or not and thus act as if they understand i am a stroppy git

You can always direct it at me, I can handle the heat. Some people engage themselves in argument but can't handle when it's directed back at them.

Types response and deletes…