Link is here.
It's the usual loaded bunch of bollocks questions designed to highlight how car drivers are persecuted over all lower class road users who DON'T EVEN PAY ROAD TAX! (the bastards, I once saw a cyclist hooligan club a kitten to death with his bike pump etc....)
(the bastards, I once saw a cyclist hooligan club a kitten to death with his bike pump etc….)
Bet he was a gravel biker. They’re the worst.
Completed. You could sense the HATE behind the questions.
Done. Long live the cyclist!!
Done. That's actually a genuinely funny survey, reminds me of this
Done.
Hope I don't live near the narrow minded tool that set the questions as I suspect he would clip me with the wing mirror on his ratty old Jag.
Done
Unfortunately my work firewall wont let me access it. Must be HIGHLY DODGY. I'll do it at home then!
Done.
Done!
Done.
I can see Mr Howard is about to have an aneurysm.
Done 😁
done
Done.
Good survey, nice to be able to say good things about cycle lanes and electric cars
Done, I hope his mum doesn't tell him off too much for frothing too much in his bedroom when he sees my responses...
Poor Mrs Clarkson.
It's absolute pish of a survey - content aside, just the punctuation and grammar are enough to tell most people what they need to know.
That's before the clumsy links between road use and voting Tory.
I happily completed it of course 🙂
Hope this spread through every single cycling group and forum in the country.
Done. What a professionally written survey...
Done. They don't like cyclists or electric cars.
Done thanks for the heads up
Done - but they won't like it 🙂
FROM RECENT MEDIA REPORTS, UNELECTED SPECIAL ADVISORS IN NO 10 ARE INFLUENCING THE ROLL OUT OF CYCLE LANES. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS*
My word, just as well they must only be using "special advisors" on this subject and nothing else, at all, ever
Done. They don’t like cyclists or electric cars.
Luckily I'm an EV driving cyclist 🙂
They don't seem to realise VED is based on Emissions. Electric cars are subject to the same level as cars as it is on a sliding scale from £0
Well done everyone!
but they won’t like it
Even better. I suspect there's a lot about a modern progressive society members of Fair Fuel UK don't like.
What a load of sh1te that survey is. I don’t generally even regard myself as a ‘cyclist’ but it even had my blood boiling...
I'm in - I even took the opportunity to remind him of the Highway Code proposals 🙂
I think my IQ actually dropped a couple of points after having to read that load of bollocks.
Filled in - not sure he'll like the answers.
Who proof read that.
I've seen better GCSE surveys than that.
Please donate so we can keep campaigning..
I'll donate to an English qualification.
I particularly enjoyed the question where they asked how extra fuel duty should be spent, obviously I suggested it should spent on more cycle lanes!
I have three email addresses. I might just fill it in a few more times.
The survey is so bad I did wonder if it is a spoof. Sadly not.
He’s hardcore!!
Just a series of questions to rile the Gammon man followed by a bit of grifting to turn the righteous anger into £££
Done with pleasure
They don’t seem to realise VED is based on Emissions. Electric cars are subject to the same level as cars as it is on a sliding scale from £0
At some point that's got to change though. They're zero-rated at the moment to encourage take up, once there's a critical mass (or you have no choice but to have one), they'll be taxed again.
Done - what an angry man he is! Thought the question at the end about BBC really summed up the daily mail level of outrage!
Done, that was rather therapeutic
Done. Make sure to tell them where their ‘questions’ are transparently malformed bolx
I think the guy is well named.
Oof, what a monumental cockwomble he is. Filled in with relish!
Transpires the BBC is funded by a compulsory fee. I’d put that in capitals he used but the whole thing was written in CAPS. I’ll bet he ruined his keyboard.
Done too - enjoyed that! I have a second email address so might so it again adding in @thepurist's point about Highway code updates
"SHOULD HAULAGE & LOGISTICS SERVICES BE SUBJECT TO LOWER LEVELS OF FUEL DUTY
The commercial heartbeat of any economy is its network of distribution. An average haulier can spend 50% of its income on fuel costs. the Majority of which is tax. Lowering fuel duty here would help lower inflation and the cost of products we buy.. What do you think?"
You'd never guess the Road Haulage Association were behind "Fair Fuel" would you??
As it doesn't verify email addresses or have the "I'm not a robot" capthca thingy, can some talented person please write some code to fill it in 25000 times with overwhelmingly positive things to say about bikes & EVs?
Done, this howard cocks is a proper bell end
That was excellent. We should do more of this
FROM RECENT MEDIA REPORTS, UNELECTED SPECIAL ADVISORS IN NO 10 ARE INFLUENCING THE ROLL OUT OF CYCLE LANES. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS*
"That's how Parliament works"?
Honestly don't think I've ever enjoyed filling out a survey more!
Done; enjoyed that
Done.
I’m glad to read other people saying it was badly written, i thought it was just me who found it difficult to read.
As someone whose job is actual surveys, I'm appalled that this will apparently be distributed to all MPs. How does this drivel get traction but my properly designed and fairly impartial surveys not??
Done. Enjoyed that, the comments section was particularly enjoyable.
A BBC question? Surprised I wasn't asked if I thought we had too many immigrants in the country.
Done - I particularly liked the opportunity to recommend the return of the death penalty for poor driving 😂
done
Done. Almost funny, then you realise it's not a GCSE question on how not to design a survey.
Done, he's going to have a lot to read from me! So easy to see it was written so as to make you agree with their point of view.
you don't even need to put in a real email address (unless they get filtered out later). Anyway, I'm sure my responses as a person who drives a 20+ year old hybrid diesel disability scooter who plans to cycle everywhere will add valuable insight
That's genuinely amazing. WHAT DO YOU THINK.
A) POPPIES
B) THE SPITFIRE
C) PRINCESS DIANA
Honestly astonished by the way that was put together!
My favourite question:
WILL YOU VOTE FOR THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY AT THE NEXT GENERAL ELECTION
o Yes, only if they are still the best choice
Done, some of the wording is pretty poor. They may as well complete the answer for you with how the question is worded.
you don’t even need to put in a real email address (unless they get filtered out later).
It looks like they do track your IP address though. Completed so far on work PC and phone, still got Macbook, Ipad (x2) and wifes phone and three kids phones to go!
As someone whose job is actual surveys, I’m appalled that this will apparently be distributed to all MPs. How does this drivel get traction but my properly designed and fairly impartial surveys not??
I think that you've answered your own question there.
Done. Anyone else want a copy of the daily express?
It looks like they do track your IP address though. Completed so far on work PC and phone, still got Macbook, Ipad (x2) and wifes phone and three kids phones to go!
That's my evening all planned out then! 😂
Done 🙂
Done - that was fun, more more!
Done, can this also be posted in the Bike Forum so no-one misses out on the fun!
you don’t even need to put in a real email address (unless they get filtered out later)
You won't believe what boris.johnson@gov.uk replied.
Done
Done. What a twonk.
I've just Googled Mr Cocks. He looks exactly as I would have expected right down to his Faragian dress sense.
EDIT
Don't actually Google Mr Cocks. Go with Mr Cox as it less likely to cost you your job.
Excellent idea OP - done
FROM RECENT MEDIA REPORTS, UNELECTED SPECIAL ADVISORS IN NO 10 ARE INFLUENCING THE ROLL OUT OF CYCLE LANES. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS*
My word, just as well they must only be using “special advisors” on this subject and nothing else, at all, ever
Can we have elected special advisors on everything, please? Every day's a polling day..
And yes, that was fun. Going back to read the comments now.
Done, thanks for sharing.
The most poorly put together survey I have ever encountered. A real achievement in stupidity. It's like it emerged from the Daily Mail hive mind.
(the bastards, I once saw a cyclist hooligan club a kitten to death with his bike pump etc….)
You think that's bad - I once saw a cyclist pumping a kitten!
done!
Brilliant. Done.
Though not sure it wasn't just written by an alt-right bot that's escaped from some computer science student's project.
**** me. As a researcher that was genuinely painful to go through. I'd be frankly embarrassed if I were responsible for this.
WHY WAS IT ALL WRITTEN IN CAPITALS?
Why was there so much bias in how the questions were asked?
Under what circumstances, ever, is 'none of your business' an acceptable answer in a survey.
Why are they asking about your political standpoint when the survey is positioned to be purely about fuel etc?
Why wasn't the list of answers always comprehensive enough for the question asked?
I'm sharing this with my company so we can all have a good laugh at this toss pot
Hilarious, and worrying. I completed the survey with accuracy and fair reflection.
Done. Didn't have any time to flower it up but my rule of thumb was 'what does this plonker least want me to select?'
Lovely jubbly.
