[Closed] Your top tips for looking like a bell-end?

Well i am currently wearing some old craghoppers with grey paint on them, a plain white tee, an old berghaus fleece and and old pair of vans (not canvas) I dont know where that places me in the coolness stakes..... Oh and i have socks and pants on as well....

Blue and white static inducing 'sportswear' from those shops in out of town retail parks that smell of nylon and rubber.

So what are you wearing?
Me, next chino type shorts,marks and sparks short sleeve shirt and desert boots.

surely its how you 'flex' not what you look like 🙄

Has nobody mentioned anyone under 50 wearing flat caps yet? Add bushy beard for that 1950's yorkshire throwback look.

I know it's a bit lefty but does it really matter what folk wear? If some fat bloke wants to go out and buy a flash bike and tight lycra then fair play to him, I hope he enjoys it. Likewise if someone wants to 'buy' into an image then let them, what does it really matter? Dress head to toe in the most expensive outdoorsy gear you can find and never set foot out of Chelsea, it really doesn't matter does it?

What marks you out as a complete and utter bellend is behaving like a knob. Being rude, selfish or/and ignorant of others marks you out as a weapons grade helmet in my book. Want to look like a blend? Stand around talking loudly about how great you are, look down on others because they're different, don't say hello when someone says it to you, be rude. All of these things are a good indicator of the type of person you're dealing with.

I'd rather talk to someone in pointy shoes, his sisters jeans and thick rimmed glasses who is a decent person than I would someone who dresses 'correctly' (ie like everyone else) who acts like a tool.

Suit for work. The rest of the time, slim fit jeans, skate shoes, t-shirt. Dressed like this since I was on the terraces at Roker Park, then skate, snowboards and bikes took over. Wife says I should grow up, my daughter says I'm a cool dad!

Flange ... mind the door on your way out and take your considered and intelligent views with you

This is STW and your type isn't wanted, what ever you wear.

😆

I know it's a bit lefty but does it really matter what folk wear?

Annoyingly in many circumstances, yes it does matter.

piemonster : They are serious.......omygawd... i've been doing the country thing all wrong for years and so has my "oirish" mate who owns a 1200acre farm & shooting estate in Galloway, his lifestyle clothing range of dickies blue boilersuits and wellies is sartorially so far out of whack i'd better warn him for the next time the Southern fashionistas come up to shoot, and as for Ann (his partner) who walks their 5 dogs whilst wearing her combats and hiking boots.....well i dunno how she'll take it when i show her that pic above?. This is gonna be quite a shock for them.

There's going to be no easy way to break it to them but i guess they're gonna have to sell up and move, they're obviously not dressed nor do they have the correct self-satisfied smug demeanour for the country lifestyle.

Anyone want a country house?, bring your own wardrobe.

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Flange is right, a total lack of manners is the easiest and quickest way to be a bellend

Anyone over the age of 20 wearing a band t shirt

Anyone wearing jeans and a t shirt

I actually like and dress like those country gent pix above

Flange ... mind the door on your way

😀 I just find it's easy to get caught in the trap of judging books by their covers - some of the nicest people I know dress in the clothes that most of the people here are deriding. Conversely I know of some people that wear some pretty nice stuff who I can't stand to be anywhere near.

There's a growing lack of tolerance in general that I think just results in a load of people walking around not talking to each other because they've already formed opinions.

I think you might be taking this thread too seriously

I know it's a bit lefty but does it really matter what folk wear?

Unfortunately it matters a lot.

the tramps in my town have epic tramp beards and wear expensive outdoors gear with piss-soaked shoes - how shall I judge them?

I think you might be taking this thread too seriously

Nope - it's an opinion. Everyone is entitled to them...

the guy near me who commutes on a uni cycle - i will smash his smug face in one day

Then IMO, I also think you are taking the thread a little to seriously. Its a bit of fun to mark the end of summer, nothing more! 😉

A lot of the fat bankers who come shooting round my area are dressed head to toe in 'Country Gent' attire. It's all I can do not to shout, 'Toot, toot, morning ratty', at them.

Got bored on page 3 - But surely the best way to look like a bell end is to assume people look like bell ends because they basically don't look like you.

People in glass houses.....

[i]I regularly wear combats and DPM.[/i]

How do you wear a Damp Proof Membrane?

Dunno quite why, but am crying with laughter at that. Thank you.

The man on platform 16a at Leeds station at 7.20 this morning. Suited and booted, talking on his mobile. Holding it at chest height and on speakerphone, like they do on 'The Aprentice'.

Then IMO, I also think you are taking the thread a little to seriously.

Never a truer word is spoken than in jest though. I'm sure some people aren't taking it too seriously but there generally seems to be an awful lot of pent up rage on this forum.

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^^^ Top tip? Move location, it would seem! 🙂

http://www.campingandcaravanningclub.co.uk/siteseekerlite/aspx/details.aspx?id=100121

You are right Grum, but it entertains the rest of us though! 😉

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Aaaand we have a winner

That's quality

call a meeting, tell your senior staff they have to attend because it's CRITICALLY important, then spend the entire hour dicking about with your new laptop.
or, arrange a series of meeting to arrange a national procurement standard for a product that everyone already has apart from you (ie trying to get everyone in the country to do your tendering work for you). Arrange the last meeting in INVERF***INGNESS then whinge because no-one turns up

Anything anybody who's posted to this thread wears. There is no irony in that statement.

I'm not ashamed to be a bell end.

Given some time alone I frequently embrace it.

Does it matter if someone you think is a bell end, thinks you're a bell end?

dickies blue boilersuits and wellies

In Ely it's John Deere overalls but they are generally sound folk despite the limp or extra toes/digits.

act like Nigel Farage over the last few weeks

Comedy ties..........oh dear lord

trousers too short

F1/motorsport merchandise clothing

rudeness, ill manners

change fashion with the season in Milano, or Northern quarter

Houns - Member
Anyone over the age of 20 wearing a band t shirt

Anyone wearing jeans and a t shirt

I laugh at myself and am happy if others do too. 😀

c_g Queen of Self-Deprecation.

“Hello, Halberstam," Owen says, walking by.
Hello, Owen," I say, admiring the way he's styled and slicked back his hair, with a part so even and sharp it... devastates me and I make a mental note to ask him where he purchases his hair-care products, which kind of mousse he uses, my final guesses after mulling over the possibilities being Ten-X.”
? Bret Easton Ellis, American Psycho

Yunki, top quote & great film - reminding me now about the business card bit! 😀

I'll wear a (fitted) baseball cap until the day I die because I like them and have been wearing them since I was 12.

IAnd how old are you now ?

36...

i don't need any tips on looking like a bellend,i can do a great job on my own thanks 😆

Courtesy of previous employment I have the despicable joy of being fully kitted out in POC.

Pisspot&goggles?DH Pyjamas? Bellend aesthetics? Yes.
*twt*

Anyone over the age of 20 wearing a band t shirt

another who is stuffed then

rapidly approaching 50 and currently wearing a iron Maiden t-shirt from the last tour

was a Rammstein t-shirt yesterday and a Mr Scruff t-shirt in bed last night

Elasticated Jeans - on anybody.
Ugg boots - on 'men'

Anybody that says "Hashtag".
Wear what you want, apart from those saggy beanies.
Pedo bear and powered by fairy dust stickers on your Corsa/clio.
I do none of the above but I am a total Bell.

I wear camo stuff all the time
&
I do refuse to wear DPM
DOES NOT COMPUTE!
And you do look a tit wearing it.
Correct..

Dpm is a name given to the type of camouflage the army used to wear. Now it's mtp. There's also digital and flecktarn to name two of the other types, all camouflage. Not dpm

Dpm is a name given to the type of camouflage the army used to wear. Now it's mtp. There's also digital and flecktarn to name two of the other types, all camouflage. Not dpm

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Just for you... 🙄

Not sure what you're getting at! I was only pointing out that all camouflage isn't necessarily DPM.

I'll go find my campuflage shirt, button it up to the top and tuck it into my shorts.....