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My Left Foot
Never seen it - not really interested in a prequel to Treasure Island or Long John Silver's origin story.
Tell us all about the films you haven't bothered to watch but can guess what they're about.
Saw #1 - #24
Made by(and for) a group of teenagers that like woodwork and torture.
Boat sinks, most people die.
Titanic. Never seen it, never will.
I strongly suspect that there are more films I haven't seen than I have seen, but one I haven't is Forrest Gump.
Really don't need to see Tom Hanks over acting his way through another film. Especially one where he plays a mentally deficient bloke.
Titanic. Never seen it, never will.
Its a happier story if you watch it in reverse - whole bunch of people drowning in a frozen sea, when miraculously a luxury liner pops up from nowhere, rescues everyone and sails them all home in fine style to a jubilant reception.
Every Marvel film. Superhero is a hero, until they're not, and then they are again. World saved, baddy banished.
Grease
I've no desire to watch John Travolta holidaying on Mykonos.
Candyman
I do not need to watch a biopic about Sammy Davis Jr., much as I admire him.
John Dies At The End
Just a guess, but probably John dies at the end.
The Matrix - people struggling with fairly modern usages of very old mathematical concepts
Never seen it – not really interested in a prequel to Treasure Island or Long John Silver’s origin story.
Don't want to derail the thread, but Black Sails is a really good series.
Eraserhead - artists blissfully using pencils with rubbers on the end
Top gun. Improbably short US fighter pilot kills his co-pilot.
Top gun 2. Same, but everyone is a lot older.
Withnail and I. The story of one half of a pair of twins buying a wood fixture, told from his brothers point of view.
Moulin Rouge - female Chinese warrior discovers make up....
but Black Sails is a really good series.
The Cyclist Touring Club map and grade cumbrian mountain tracks to inform the creation of the first Bartholomew Motoring Maps?
To be honest anything with Nicholas Crane in is good
Deathproof, an hour and a half of Kurt Russell failing to find a pulse.
Independence Day - 2hrs of fighting illegal immigrants followed by some fireworks and a BBQ. (It's the No.1 rated film in the history of the Daily Mail)
Debbie does Dallas - I never got the whole JR and Bobby Ewing thing, so watching someone's tribute to it is of zero interest
The Fast and The Furious (x N) - I think we all get a bit grumpy when we haven't eaten, but it's not going to be box office material
TBH most Fast and Furious films are less Fast Cars and more Face Punching.
The Godfather.
Man who is hard to understand, mumbles for 3 hours.
Avengers Assemble
Men in tights battle Ikea purchase.
Avengers Assemble
2 old folks get together for a reunion
The Godfather.
Bloke stands near the font at a Christening and nods when asked if he believes in Jesus
Eternals - A group of Game of Thrones rejects stand on a beach for 3 hours.
Kill Bill 1 & 2 - hours and hours of Martin Lewis telling you how to save money in these troubled times. While wearing a yellow jumpsuit.
Bridget Jones diary - don't care who's birthday she remembers
Men In Black - funeral home day to day goings on.
Polar Express. - Train ride gets increasingly chilly
Detective Pikachu
summary? seriously?
The War With Grandpa
Robert de Niro keeps repeating the same invented story about what he did during the war.
The Magnificent 7.
Seems little point in watching it when I haven't seen the previous six Magnificent films.
Game of thrones
Musical chairs with tits and dragons.
Classic guitarist fancies some venison.
The Dark Knight
Weirdo in skin tight body armour mutters in gruff voice and fights even badder guys than he is.
On Golden Pond.
Watersports on a whole new scale.
E.T. - can't imagine the back story to launching channel 5 is that interesting.
IT
Switch if off.
Switch it on.
...for about nineteen hours.
The Godfather - man falls out with his brother after nephews Christening.
Gone with the Wind - story of loss at Southern kite festival.
Blade Runner - boy doesn't listen to parents about running with scissors.
Batman - Geoffrey Boycott biopic.
Boat sinks, most people die.
Titanic. Never seen it, never will.
Beat me to it
Saving Private Ryan
The much loved sequel to arthouse flop Spendthrift Private Ryan.
Falling Down - health and safety video with a big budget
Watership Down
prequel to Titanic
'Death on the Nile'
Man buggers off in a kayak to find himself...
'The Revenant'
18th century Dyslexic man tries to start a church in the new world.
Pirates of the Caribbean
A documentary on how expensive pastry based comestibles have become in Jamaica.
The Great Escape - the story of the top left key on your keyboard
The Empire Strikes Back - Jacob Rees Mogg talks us through his plans for power.
Logan's Run - An ideologically driven Epic catastrophe movie, 12 years in the making coming to a pensioners home very soon. Brought to you by our sponsors Dave, Gideon, Theresa, Alexander, Rishi, Liz and Vlad
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Live action musical movie adaptation of a song by the muppets.
Brokeback mountain.
Two cowboys take it in turn to give each other piggy backs until one gets a touch of sciatica.
Leon.
Biopic about a man who experiences remorse on not buying a golf.
No country for old men.
Docudrama about Boris's healthcare strategy during Covid.
Lord of the rings - a bunch of magical dwarves spend 3 hours wandering around looking for treasure. Now that I write it down, it sounds a bit like Stalker. I do quite like Stalker. Maybe I should give it a go.
Return of the Jedi - a load of magical koala bears and another magical dwarf who sometimes talks backwards.... Do you know what, I haven't got the first idea what happens in this film. I presume there's an epic quest, lots of FX and the good guys win out in the end?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
Story of two brave children determined to stop at nothing in order to preserve what is rightfully theirs. All in the face of an ogress father who has a cup of tea and a pang for something sweet.
King Richard - Will Smith playing Will Smith in a Will Smith production of a Will Smith film.
Escape to Victory - prisoners break out of Portsmouth jail and hide on Nelsons flagship.
Nuns on the Run - pundits wearing black and white habits discuss the latest cricket action
The Full Monty - feature length episode of Gardeners World
Gladiator
Black comedy about hero worship of a cannibalistic serial killer.
Where's this like button we were promised?
Some of these are rather good....
Interstellar
Romcom about a man who struggles to express how he feels about premium Belgium lager.
Heat
Fly on the wall documentary set in an Edinburgh office during the unbelievably hot summer of 2022 and their AC stops working.
The Hunt for Red October - one man's quest to find a very specific calendar. Give me a month, one month only.
2001: A space odyssey
Story of how best to use the Millennium Dome.
Lost in translation
Musical about a young brummie guy working in Scotland and is introduced to the local delicacy of a pie in a roll.
A Quantum of Solace - one man's research into just what is the right amount of me time after losing one of his hairy kiwis due to a temptress named after a wasp.
Fight Club - can't really tell you. I don't make the rules.
Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia - never seen this but I'm going to say the title's the spoiler.
My Left Foot
...seen the rather predictably titled sequel? ("Seriously dude, where's my left foot")
Apollo 13 - talk about milking a franchise!
Spartacus - dunno. I've not seen Spartacus
Romancing the Stone
Things get a little steamy on the curling rink
We've got to talk about Kevin
Harry Enfield is interviewed about one of his comedy characters
Avatar
horny smurfs
E.T. - little dude gets bored trying to spell etcetera so gives up
Jack Reacher.
A tall guy gets a rifle off the highest rack for a short pilot.
This may be a cross over movie
Star Wars - Good guys and bad guys shoot each other with flashy special effects, then repeats into the future and back into the past ad nauseum
Jaws - Remake of the Monster from the Deep but naming a particular fish and leaving it with a whole heap of back story for fish specialists to refute every time there is a shark attack
The curious case of Benjamin Button - documentary about the life of Jenson's lesser known brother.
Hang 'em high - instructional video about the best laundry drying techniques.
Dude where's my car - crime watch reconstruction told from the victims view point.
Speed - I was going to watch this with Prof Heisenberg, but he couldn't work out where it was showing
Christine
Am I right thinking its basically 'Herbie Goes Bananas'?
Braveheart - chancing it on a bit of a 50:50 one
Live action musical movie adaptation of a song by the muppets<
This made me chuckle!
'Cujo'
"Don't worry, he's just being friendly”
The Godfather pt 2
Stale Rob Schneider 'comedy' vehicle in which he reprises his role as hapless authority figure to two streetwise 5th graders.
Costarring Kevin James.
Demolition man
Wesley Snipes shares with us his love of bulldozers.
Dirty Harry - man refuses to bathe for a week.
The Thing - Documentary about katie Price/ Hour long movie about an Orange Gravel bike
Dances with wolves - Saturday night entertainment with a championship football team.
Jurassic Park - pensioner looks for parking space in multistory
Muppet Christmas Carol - sing along at government Christmas party