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I'll start: the dishwasher was broken and I couldn't fix it. We called the Miele repair guy. He fixed it and told me - in front of my family - that my ultraefficient method of plate stacking was "all wrong" and partially responsible for the failure.
Naturally I have abandoned my home, changed my name, shaved my head and am now living in a bothy.
Ooof, I feel for you there!
ultraefficient method of plate stacking
We need more details of what you were doing (and pics if possible)
Hah. I was out of detergent tabs so I improvised (Fairy and bicarb I think), the thing just filled with foam, flooded the kitchen and broke.
Couldn't bring myself to admit this to the repair bloke, so I had to just take the lecture about never using the Eco cycle...
So many humiliating moments, not sure I could find a low risk example.
I got my whole attic insulated as the house was always cold due to inefficient radiators. Not long after I got my boiler serviced and the technician asked why it was turned on so low.
House is now too hot.
I was a builder once.
Years ago I had a flat where the heating/hot water would constantly go off in the winter so I'd call the gas company and they'd send an engineer round who would go up into the loft and fix it. They'd usually be up there for an hour or so.
One time however, they couldn't send anyone out for a few days and it was freezing so I went up and had a look myself. Turns out it was just the pilot light being blown out and all I had to do was restart the boiler.
Makes me wonder what the engineers were doing in the loft for so long on each visit.
Makes me wonder what the engineers were doing in the loft for so long on each visit.
Posting their easiest jobs on STW.
"Just been to this tw@s house for the 6th time and all I've had to do was reset the boiler. He looks baked, although he's got a nice Demo 8 in the kitchen."
It was in the pre-smartphone days though 😊
Think I've mentioned this one before, but here goes again. I had bought a very expensive (for us at the time), stereo system with one of those fancy-pants new multi CD players. Everything was fine until a week or two after it was in the house and I started hearing a high pitched whine coming from one of the speakers. Yep, this was a long time ago when I could still hear high pitched noises. What was weird was that it continued even when the stereo was switched off. I got in contact with the shop we'd bought it from and the engineer said he'd hop in the van and be over within the hour. All he asked was that I pull the system out from any furniture to make it easy to access. So I pulled the speakers out from the wall and that's when this battery operated cat toy rolled into the middle of the carpet with it's lights weakly flashing and whiney little noise fading away.
I was feeling like a serious plonker as I quickly phoned the engineer to cancel his visit.
Fuse box tripped earlier this year, had to turn everything off and then on one by one to find the culprit. Turns out it was the (17yo and dying) kitchen fridge freezer. Annoying at 9pm but not the end of the world as we have another in the garage, so transferred everything over to the second fridge freezer whilst we ordered another. Came back from work the next day to a none too pleasant hum. Seems we forgot to turn the back up fridge freezer back on…
edit ‘we’ is how a very patient MrsTH describes it. I know who the real culprit is, and it isn’t her.
Think I've mentioned this one before, but here goes again. I had bought a very expensive (for us at the time), stereo system with one of those fancy-pants new multi CD players. Everything was fine until a week or two after it was in the house and I started hearing a high pitched whine coming from one of the speakers. Yep, this was a long time ago when I could still hear high pitched noises. What was weird was that it continued even when the stereo was switched off. I got in contact with the shop we'd bought it from and the engineer said he'd hop in the van and be over within the hour. All he asked was that I pull the system out from any furniture to make it easy to access. So I pulled the speakers out from the wall and that's when this battery operated cat toy rolled into the middle of the carpet with it's lights weakly flashing and whiney little noise fading away.
I was feeling like a serious plonker as I quickly phoned the engineer to cancel his visit.
I had an old golf, every so often one of the springs would go boi-oi-oing. I had all the wheels off, i checked all the springs. I even dropped the rear and took the springs off.
Nothing.
When i scrapped it i did a deep dive to check nothing was left. Found a toy ball belonging to a nephew wedged under the drivers seat. Every time i went over a bump my fat arse was smashing down on it.
We ordered a new dishwasher as our 'old one' stopped working & came up with an on-screen error. All online sleuthing pointed to it being the control board that was so expensive to change you might as well buy a new one.
The new one was due to be delivered in a couple of days and so we moved the old one out of the slot, ready for the delivery people to take it away. Upon going to unplug it, I realised that the plug was barely in the socket - literally about to fall out. I pushed it back in fully & hey presto the dishwasher was fine.
It turns out, a few months before this fiasco we'd got a new washing machine & the plug went in the same socket as the dishwasher. While reaching in to plug the washing machine in, it was a bit of a tight reach and I had somehow pulled on the dishwasher plug, dislodging it.
I guess over the next couple of months, the plug slowly came loose from the socket until it was barely making contact.
Quickly cancelled the AO order for a new one and that dishwasher soldiered on for around another 10 years.
Not me but an absolute corker...
I was in Spain in a Cafe bar type place and having some coffees with a friend who lives there full time.
We were talking about illegal mmigration ie. How Spain gets form north Africa the same as UK gets it from France.
For the avoidance of doubt we both sympathise with anyone desperate enough to cross the med or the channel on a dodgy dinghy...
Anyway... My mate was doing an impression of a gammon, saying they are all rapists /criminals /whatever.
Another UK guy on the next table... Dunno if he was a tourist or resident, only listened to that bit of the conversation and felt the need to pipe up...
Something along the lines of 'that's disgusting, you shouldn't be repeating lies like that'.
I mean, fair play to him for piping up, but when we, very matter of factly explained to him...
Hahah.. He kind of said 'oh.. I thought you meant.. Etc. And shriveled up and went back to his book he was reading.
Moral of the story.. If you're going to eavesdrop on someone else's conversation... And then stick your oar in, at least listen long enough to understand the context of what's being said!
My missis got a new iPhone a few years ago, but couldn't hear anything out of the earpiece. We happened to be going into Manchester so popped into the Apple store to report the fault. Needed to get a screen protector anyway.
Tech bar expert pulled the protective film off the screen, (left on until we got a proper protector) and miraculously the issue was solved. 🫣
I had an old golf, every so often one of the springs would go boi-oi-oing. I had all the wheels off, i checked all the springs. I even dropped the rear and took the springs off.
Weirdly that squeaky earring ad came up in conversation at the LBS the other day - bike had gone in to get an annoying creak checked out. No, I don't ride wearing dangling earrings
Hah. I was out of detergent tabs so I improvised (Fairy and bicarb I think), the thing just filled with foam, flooded the kitchen and broke.
Couldn't bring myself to admit this to the repair bloke, so I had to just take the lecture about never using the Eco cycle
Somebody, definitely not me, once put an oil cooler in the dish washer.
Dishwasher afterwards stank of engine oil, so somebody, definitely not me, put Fairy liquid in it.
The foam generated was impressive.
It also tripped the resettable fuse, which of course is inside the fitted dishwasher. Took ages to get at. It then kept tripping whilst the pump tried to pump foam.
I think I used cooking oil to kill the foam.
My, sorry ‘somebodies’ housemates didn’t take the piss at all.
This has the potential to be the best thread ever. Makes me feel so much less alone.
We called the Miele repair guy. He fixed it and told me - in front of my family - that my ultraefficient method of plate stacking was "all wrong" and partially responsible for the failure.
If I paid Miele money for a dishwasher and it broke due to "inefficient" loading I would expect money to be inbound rather than outbound to resolve.
Possibly the best thing I’ve ever seen. Out of the office window, saw a chap in the car park revving the nuts off his mk1 focus, but it wasn’t going anywhere. Brought his mate out to have a look, lots of revving, nothing. Anyway they jacked the car up and somehow decided the offside rear wheel was in some way locked, but couldn’t for the life of them free it, wheels off, kicking the hell out of the drum to try an loosen. No luck. RAC arrive, have a look under the car, reattach the wheel, start engine, reverse out of the space. Your man looks in the car to see the RAC chap pointing at the hand brake, before putting his head in his hands…
Still chuckling now, 15 years later.
Pouring down in forrin parts.
Grabbed a takeaway pizza and ran out to the hire car as a successful hunter-gatherer, jumped into the driver's seat only to realise that the pizza box was behind the steering wheel and that I was in the passenger seat.
Cue some procrastination on an appropriate time to swap seats without being seen/soaked
About 10 or so years ago a work colleague took delivery of a new model fleet BMW, left in the (secure) car park with the engine running.
He got in and found a BMW key in the tray by the gearstick. He got out, engine still running, took the errant key back into the busy receptionist and then drove 150 miles and pushed the engine off button.
Imagine his laughter when he realised that the new model BMW didn't have an ignition keyhole like the previous model
Chris Harris, off of cars, pulled over to take some pics of a new Ferrari 12 cillindri. Put the key on the roof, drove off for half an hour this morning according to his instagram stories 🤣
After a couple of years of doubt, telling porkies and a few knockbacks a group of us, all now proudly aged 18, with appropriate and genuine ids, had a shandy and then piled into a nightclub, went to the bar and ordered, ? How old are you, in unison we all go “18”, barman points to an over 21 only sign, then points to the exit door
When I were a young lad in the early 80s I found my dad's stash of grumble mags - me being a smart arse teenager decided I should take a few and stuff them under my own mattress for further perusal.
This went on for a few months and 'my' stash grew ever bigger. I thought I was onto a winner!
Then one evening my day casually popped his head through my bedroom door and just said "I don't mind you taking a few mags, but put them back when you're done lad". Nothing more was ever said - the embarrassment was crushing!
I went to hire a car once and they only had an automatic available, which I'd never driven before. How hard could it be? Took the key and went to the car, which Would. Not. Move! Double checked the handbrake was off, nothing blocking the wheels, it was in drive... finally admitted defeat and went back in to the office to ask for help. Hire guy (who I knew personally) said he'd be out in a minute to check.
In the meantime I tried again and eventually worked out why it wouldn't move: because I had my foot rammed down on the brake, instinctively thinking it was the clutch 🤦♂️
He came out and didn't take the mick... much.
Chris Harris, off of cars, pulled over to take some pics of a new Ferrari 12 cillindri. Put the key on the roof, drove off for half an hour this morning according to his instagram stories 🤣
Ooof... So how much is a new key for a fancy new Ferrari? Dare I ask!
I’ve just had to shell out a king's ransom to a man to correct the fact I put a tank full unleaded in my diesel powered car. Having remembered I was driving the diesel engined car and identified the diesel nozzle. Talk about senior moment.
One of my best mates went off to uni & when the time came to do some washing he trooped off to the laundry room with a friend in tow so they could work it out together.
Chucked the clothes in the machine, threw in a plastic ball full of detergent, turned it on & wandered to the SU for a drink.
Came back a couple of hours later & the washing was done, but all the clothes were bone dry with hard, crusty patches all over.
Turned out they had somehow mistaken the tumble dryers for the washing machines, so had tumble dried their clothes for an hour or two with a healthy dose of detergent thrown in.
.
.
.
.
I came out of Luebeck airport (north of Hamburg) in a car I'd just collected & having driven in Germany quite a bit previously, gave no thought to being on the correct side of the road.
Only an idiot would get that wrong......hmmmm, there seems to be some random guy driving straight for me. Why's he on 'my' side of the road? He's getting closer & flashing his lights.....?! Weird, what a moron......ohhhhhhh, shittttttttttt.........veer across the road onto the correct side & wave at the guy who's pretty apoplectic by now 😁
I didn't do it again.
Whoops.
Once I went on a forum and hit the quote button, not the edit button....
New gas hob with flame failure protection.
Rtfm. You have to hold the button down for 5 seconds after it lights to get the burner to stay on apparently.
Or so the rather exasperated call out engineer told someone who definitely wasn't me that was the technique
Formative years, about 15 and on a camping holiday in the south of France. With my parents but of course way too cool to be 'with' them. Far more interested in the french teenage girls who were hanging around the pool at the campsite, who were definitely impressed by my Adidas three stripe white football shorts - - no club badge but the type as worn by Ipswich, Forest, etc, at the time.
I don't know what was more humiliating.
Sharting at the lunch table outside our caravan.
The humiliation of thinking the shart would somehow be contained by my teenage pants and tiny item of white nylon for long enough to get to the toilet block
Hopping up from the table to go to the block only to have my Dad run after me to stop me humiliating myself further by being seen by said FTGs with a growing shart stain in my growing less cool by the second shorts.
This commotion leads to me being seen by the FTGs whilst in the process of not being seen, and then reappearing from the caravan shortly after, wearing my uncool shorts, while my Mum takes my shart stained shorts to the laundry block. At least she had the grace to put them in one of those micron thin french carrier bags
But they knew. They absolutely knew. The english boy had shit himself.
Chalk me up as another "used fairy liquid in the dishwasher when out of dishwasher tablets". My wife came home to a kitchen that looked like an Ibiza foam party.
My father and his mate were working on a car and were scratching their heads over some problem. I didn’t know the first thing about cars but wanted to make a contribution so pointed out that there was leak at the front wheel. They came round to my side as I traced what I thought was an oil leak with my finger. They both started laughing. My father’s mate whistled and his dog came running out from the back of the garage.
I was once at a casual house party /dinner type thing and I only knew maybe 2 people of the maybe 8 people there.
Trying to be friendly and suave, asked the lady next to me, where abouts in America she was from.
The dead pan answer... "I'm not American, I'm Irish".
Then the entire table went silent with a few muffled giggles, including her...
Apparently she got that a lot as she had one of those accents you can't quite place.
Didn't help at the time though lol!
After a couple of years of doubt, telling porkies and a few knockbacks a group of us, all now proudly aged 18, with appropriate and genuine ids, had a shandy and then piled into a nightclub, went to the bar and ordered, ? How old are you, in unison we all go “18”, barman points to an over 21 only sign, then points to the exit door
Oooh. I have done that. We went on a big march in edinburgh, can't remember what it was for.
We trained in from glasgow and went onto the first pub so me and the kiwi could watch the lions play.
First and only time i have been kicked out of a pub... Not bad considering it was 830 in the morning.
I've done the foam party thing. Washing technical clothing, we'd run out of tech wash and soap flakes. So, grabbed a block of 'pure soap' thinking it would be the same, cut off a few 'shavings' and threw them in the machine.
I must have had the worlds cleanest kitchen floor by the time I'd mopped up the foam.
I’ve just had to shell out a king's ransom to a man to correct the fact I put a tank full unleaded in my diesel powered car. Having remembered I was driving the diesel engined car and identified the diesel nozzle. Talk about senior moment.
Oh, I've refilled an engine during an oil change, forgetting to put the sump plug back in first. Big sump too so a proper 5 litre bottle before I realised.
Whilst admitting to mechanical cock ups, I once lowered the car down onto the bucket containing 7 litres of dirty oil, splitting the bucket causing a massive mess.
Also spent ages flushing and bleeding the brakes, split some fluid in the engine bay, so washed it down with the hose, then noticed I’d left the cap off and got water in the reservoir.
Took a "faulty" microwave oven back to Currys, luckily they didn't test it before handing me a replacement as that one had exactly the same "fault" in that the socket in the kitchen was ****ed...
Paid a plumber £264 to "fix" our cycling boiler, would have been at least £150 cheaper if I'd bothered to check the controller in the airing cupboard first...
For reasons that are too boring to relate, myself and a few mates ended up in a French Karaoke bar. It was Sunday evening, it was the only thing open. You can imagine then the local crowd that finds itself in a bar like that. Anyway there are two patrons that end up taking turns to sing a series of popular old French Chanson. We named them "Old Crone" and a "Chubby" because y'know he was a bit overweight and well, she was an old lady. We'd remark over-loudly to ourselves about their style, ability to sing in time, singing ability all the while using these pretty terrible nick-names. Sure enough, it's the lads turn...One of my mates says "Here comes the Chubster " As he passes our table says "Cheers Lads" in broad Estuary English...
Safe to say, that round went down quite quickly and we were all suddenly ready to turn in for the night
Whilst a test engineer, probing an awkward spot underneath a PCB with limited space, managed to connect myself to 240V. Then I called my mate over to help me diagnose the fault. So I electrocuted myself again, obviously.
Bought a car at auction. Auction house loaded it onto transporter guy's flatbed with a forklift. Transporter guy brings it to my house, can't reverse it off down the ramps. Back wheels are obviously rusted stuck - maybe a bit more accelerator? Nope, won't loosen. Me and transporter guy smack and poke and prod - then discuss how to drag it off the ramp with a chain...
...and then remember in addition to a button operated handbrake that is integrated with the auto gearbox, some Toyotas have a further foot-operated "handbrake". Couple of numpties, both of us.
Every single time I can't find something in the house.
"Darling, have you seen xyz?"
"It's in the 3rd drawer down in the kitchen, haven't you looked?"
"OF COURSE I'VE LOOKED. I'VE LOOKED EVERYWHEEEEEEERRREEE.... oh"
so I had to just take the lecture about never using the Eco cycle...
May one ask why? As it's the one I always use (less £ = Yorkshire)
Whilst a test engineer, probing an awkward spot underneath a PCB with limited space, managed to connect myself to 240V. Then I called my mate over to help me diagnose the fault. So I electrocuted myself again, obviously.
Oh that reminds me.
Just the other day, my mechanically minded 9yo son and a friend were taking apart an old printer in the garden that they'd found somewhere, so I let them get on with it. A little later I hear "it's only buzzing a bit, why isn't it working?" and somewhat rapidly arrive to find them with a bare circuit board plugged directly into the mains, with the motor that they're trying to use plugged into to a random connector 😱
Cue panic and immediate unplugging followed by a safety lecture, during which I managed to put my finger across the terminals of a 400V capacitor! Felt like a right idiot but hopefully got the point across...
May one ask why? As it's the one I always use (less £ = Yorkshire)
Doing the same myself and wondering the same thing I Googled it... apparently the cool temperatures can mean the soap doesn't always dissolve properly so builds up in the machine until it eventually breaks something. True? I dunno. Worth running a hot cycle now and again just in case, I guess 🤷♂️
But I will be forever nervous now until the original question gets answered:
my ultraefficient method of plate stacking was "all wrong" and partially responsible for the failure.
What's the method? Help!
On a similar vein but very different outcome.
Has anyone seen what happens when you dissolve soap flakes in boiling water? First it all melts and its all liquidy then as it cools it turns to sludge. If the water volume is small enough it turns into a sort of hardish paste wax consistency.
Now this is all very well and good. It makes a nice wood finish for that Scandinavian look for example.
However if you follow the instruction and pour the hot runny soap mix in with manky sports kit to make an effective sports wash... Don't forget to actually turn the machine on...
Or the soap now liberally soaked into all the fabric and cooled is quite an impressive lump. The door won't open because its full and the drain won't drain because there ain't no liquid...
On a similar vein but very different outcome.
Has anyone seen what happens when you dissolve soap flakes in boiling water? First it all melts and its all liquidy then as it cools it turns to sludge. If the water volume is small enough it turns into a sort of hardish paste wax consistency.
Now this is all very well and good. It makes a nice wood finish for that Scandinavian look for example.
However if you follow the instruction and pour the hot runny soap mix in with manky sports kit to make an effective sports wash... Don't forget to actually turn the machine on...
Or the soap now liberally soaked into all the fabric and cooled is quite an impressive lump. The door won't open because its full and the drain won't drain because there ain't no liquid...
apparently the cool temperatures can mean the soap doesn't always dissolve properly so builds up in the machine until it eventually breaks something.
Have a running battle with Mrs dB over the washing machine thermostat 😕
Just last week myself and work colleague have to deliver a new freezer in work van to a local - we decide to lift it over the balustrade and at chest height through the front door to make life easier. We put it down in the house OK and as we are heading back to van he notices he’s caught his hand on a sharp edge underneath and his hand is bleeding profusely. I offer to drive and drop him at the doctor’s surgery around the corner and he says to tell his wife (who also works in shop) to come back up to the surgery in the van. I drop back down to the Main Street, it’s quite busy / no parking spaces so I double park outside, put the hazards on, hit the stop engine button and realise the keys are in my colleague’s pocket! We did sort it out, eventually…
Might 'save' water but it takes hours and hours.
45 min 40c wash cycle for me every time.
Eco mode isn't just about saving water (I'm not convinced it does much of that) but also about shortening the time the washed plates are actively being dried for.
Ours pops the door open when it finishes so that everyone just air dries rather than being heated to dry, which seems to make no sense to me (as everything is piping hit anyway, so just mostly dries fine).
Eco mode 2.5 hours on our washing machine uses half the water of a 30 minute wash.
Same electricity but eco cleans better.
New gas hob with flame failure protection.
Rtfm. You have to hold the button down for 5 seconds after it lights to get the burner to stay on apparently.
Or so the rather exasperated call out engineer told someone who definitely wasn't me that was the technique
Ah. You know the "What, no waaaaay" guy on instagram? I'm just having one of those. Explains a lot!
Whilst a test engineer, probing an awkward spot underneath a PCB with limited space, managed to connect myself to 240V. Then I called my mate over to help me diagnose the fault. So I electrocuted myself again, obviously.
Electrocuting yourself twice is mighty impressive! 😉
That squeaky earring ad way up there. There was a hostel in Sorbas whee many a geology student visited as part of their uni field trips, myself included. The 'garage' was an old shack owned by the woman who ran the hostel who turned up one day to find them filming at it, probably thinking it was just old abandoned place. She moved it after that to the hostel and made it into the bar.
If any of the geoscientists on here have been, and saw a bloody great red wine stain on the pool table in it, that was my fault, i happened to be very, very drunk.
found it! Cortijo Urrá Field Centre
looks like the shack is still there: https://maps.app.goo.gl/9yPxmsJszLfmeHbn6
A family holiday to Belgium and NL, a coach trip through Amsterdam with the guide giving a running commentary of the sights.
'Dad, what's a Six Shop' asked this 12 year old, after mishearing what the guide had said. The whole coach party seemed to hear my question.
I had a fairly flash new car (Audi obvs) which I let MrsP borrow for the weekend to drive up north to see her sister. On the way back down the oil light came on (not unexpected for it to get through some in the first few thousand miles) so she topped it up from the can in the boot. An hour or so later as she's leaving the motorway she tried to change out of 6th but the gear lever wouldn't move. She limped to a stop but couldn't get going so called the VAG recovery folk. They also tried to get it to change gear but couldn't so then attempted to drive it onto the recovery truck by slipping the clutch at about 6000 rpm. It was taken back to the local dealer to be inspected and fixed.
I turned up there the next evening expecting a grovelling apology for a warranty issue but was surprised to be handed an invoice... "inspected stuck gear linkage, found oil filler cap lodged in mechanism, removed cap...".