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Was having a think about this the other day. These were people we knew really well at one point in our lives but have pretty much completely drifted out of it now.
Mine, both moved to Oz. Don't speak to one at all, the other I get the odd message on WhatsApp from, always initiated by me. I thought it was me, but speaking to older folk it seems like once you have a family you pretty much leave your social life behind and friends are one of the many casualties.
Makes me a bit sad when I think of it, but my life is more than full of other things and this is the happiest I've been.
Where are yours? Have you kept in touch? Do you regret anything?
Where are yours?
On here
Have you kept in touch?
Yep
Do you regret anything?
See Q2 🙂
Got married in St Lucia, so ours were the couple we met who got married the same day. I played loads of tennis with the bloke (John IIRC) in St. Lucia.
We visited them a few times (we lived in Hants, they in Newcastle), but lost touch pretty soon after.
[i]Do you regret anything?[/i]
Hell yeah.
Actually, my answers refer to my first wedding. However, he also showed up at my second wedding, even though he wasn't invited.
Seen my best man 4 times since our wedding 7 years ago. He lives about 1/2 mile away but it was always us making the effort as they had young(ish) kids.
When we had kids there was no attempt to return the effort so just haven't bothered any more.
Found the wedding card off them the other day and they wanted to take us out for a meal as a wedding present. Still waiting...
Some friends come and stay in your lives, some just pop in for a while.
My best man lives in NZ hes a millionaire now!- thanks to his IT companies, known him since 2ary school, both had similliar backgrounds, but you could say hes done a bit better, tho id say Im probably more content thanks to my family
weve had a few ups and downs and our lives are quite different but we still chat regularly via whatsapp etc and whenever hes in the UK we try and meet up for a pint at least!
both of our situations have changed hugely from our youth, but theres still a lot in common
Wait until you have had kids before getting married, and have someone else who already has kids as your best man/maid of honour.
That way, you will both make the effort, even if it's just to get out of the house for a Couple of hours 😆
Where are yours?
On here
Have you kept in touch?
Yep
...and that was 20years ago now 🙂
Happy to report I'm still pretty close to the same group of mates I had when I was 5 and expanded at 18 (we're all 40 now).
No, we're not hanging out every day but we see each fairly often.
It was MTBing that saved us, we were all thick as thieves in School, worked in the same place at weekends and evenings, went out drinking together during the binge drinking 20s - but there's that stage in life when you don't want to spend every weekend chasing skirt and getting into mischief so you settle down. A lot of us bought our first pedal bikes in a decade about then, 12 years ago. Some of us are out twice a week, some of us a few times a year, but it's something that keeps us bonded - a few of the guys never took to it or it just wasn't their thing - these days it's Weddings, Christenings and sadly now Funerals with those guys.
Any regrets?
Yeah loads, but not in regards to mates.
One of my closet friends as a kid I completely put out of my life 15 years ago - I still bump into him occasionally, he makes this massive over-blown act of "where have you been!?" but they guy is completely toxic to everyone around him. It's not all his own fault, but he won't admit his issues or do anything about it - drinking mostly. I think I'll probably be going to his funeral far too early - his Mum used to have a go at me a bit for not helping her Son out, but she drank herself to death (although they never called it that) - her solution was to go drinking with him more, not try to make him do less. I'm sure I'll take some negative comments from his family, but I've got thick skin when it comes to that.
Sometimes I think I should make more of an effort to include more people, but they don't do much in exchange - one lad moved 40 miles down the road - I invite him to pretty much every non-bikey social thing, my Wife does the same with his Wife - they rarely if ever turn up unless it would be 'bad' if they didn't - the Weddings, Funerals and Christenings again.
Slightly different, but I was best man to my best mate (appropriately!), who got me into MTBing. Still really good mates and though he moved 200 miles away, still visit each other fairly regularly and go for the odd ride (usually on the gravel bikes.)
Still friends with my best man although he lives in the Us now (actually, wasn't 'best man' as we didn't have one in that regard - long story short my wife's father died a few months before the weeding and she didn't have a male relative worthy of being able to do a FOTB speech, so we scrubbed the usual speeches and i did one myself covering all the necessities). But he was one half of the readings, and my wife's still best friend who she speaks to weekly and sees 2-3 times per month did the other half and held her handbag while she went for a piss or whatever it is girls do.
Still occasionally see the bridesmaids too.....being both daughter's of family friends - although they are both grown up now; the 3 y.o is at Uni and the 8 year old has a child of her own. [In danger of setting off the paedo alarm] they were both lovely looking girls then and 'they've not got any worse' 😯
Only got married 366 days ago 🙂 best man moved to south of France last Tuesday and I have twisted Mrs dickboys arm so instead of doing lejog next year we are going to ride the tandem to sunnier climes.
lost touch with previous best man about 23yrs ago
I got married at 31 (in 2006) and my Best Man was one of my best mates since primary school.
But yeah, these days I only see him once or maybe twice a year. Same goes for the rest of that close knit crew that I knew from Primary, Secondary, Uni and first job.
Makes me sad, but that's the way it is.
I moved to Northumberland and they are spread across Scotland (Glasgow, Edinburgh, Peebles, Perth, Aberdeen), plus some of us have families now, so getting together is difficult. Though when we do it's like we've never been away.
We keep in touch via Facebook etc, though it can be emotionally difficult to see them all get together for adventures without me. Ironically my Best Man is now best mates with my flatmate from my first proper job (that I was also Best Man for) and they are always off somewhere together (currently kayaking in Orkney), which is pleasing, but some darker part of me is more than a little jealous and sad.
I'm working on creating new friendships down here, using the tried and trusted medium of booze and misadventure, and that's going well, but I'm a bit of a social retard and find it hard to move on, so I still consider the northern lot my "best mates".
My brother, so we still chat even though he is in NZ.
I was BM for two other chaps, I see one next weekend and catch up a couple of times a year with the other on canoe trips or hillwalks as he lives the wrong end of the UK to me.
I've been married for 10 years and saw my best man on Saturday, so yes still in touch. We've both got kids now so don't see each other a massive amount, but still talk fairly regularly and when we do meet up it's now a little more family friendly! 😆
Maid of Honour? Isn't that a Yankeeeee thingy? Aren't they 'Matrons of Honour' in Blighty or has that been 'updated' (read Americanised) as well?
saw him on Saturday night actually altho it does help that it was my brother
I'm still in touch with my best man, one of my ushers I've not seen much of as he lives in Norway now and also has a family, the other two are my brothers, and the maid of honour was my sister in law so we still see her.
I think it's twofold, I've always felt some people put pressure on partners to exclude others from their little zone (I've felt this a bit from my wife even though she always has a nice time when I get my friends round), but also once you have kids it's a lot of work and main carer tends to hang around other main carers whilst worker tends to be too knackered to put much effort into socialising.
I've lost touch with a lot of people, for various reasons - mostly they've moved away but a few are embarrassingly close to me, I just don't see much of them any more as our free time activities have changed.
My best man is my brother in law, we became best mates pretty much the first time we met.
We see each other nearly every day and ride together every week, we've just done 24/12 together as a pair 🙂
Regrets? hell no, he was my best man and I was his, we're very close, our kids are the same ages and play together a lot.. as an 8 (us, our wives and our kids) we get on great, off on holiday together shortly 🙂
Where are yours? Dead, RTA 20yrs ago (or so)
Have you kept in touch? Occasionally, but the spirits often confuse the conversation.
Do you regret anything? Yes, git shagged the MoH and got punched hard by her BF. I banned him from ever coming around again, following day the RTA happened.
@bikebouy You're recalling an old episode of 'Only Fools & Horses' shirley? 😀
My bridesmaid and I have been friends for 25 years and she's still my bestie.
Holy crap. 25 years 😯
my best man was one of my good friends from school (primary) days. The other two were the usher type folk.
Best man is now in USA but he makes the effort to drop by when he's home visiting. Likewise see the other two still and are in regular contact. Of those, one is in Baku, the other in Glasgow (so at least in same country).
be 24 year anniversary soon (!)
Best Man 1st time round is on the IoW, and saw him last year. But things are different now.
Best Man next summer will be my older son. I'm not going to lose touch with him. My dad did with me and I am not going to make the same mistake.
boblo - Member
@bikebouy You're recalling an old episode of 'Only Fools & Horses' shirley?
Sadly its a true story, except the contact with spirits comment.. 😕
Try living with that incident imprinted on your brain, took years to get over.
This reminds me, I'm getting married in 5 months and still haven't decided who my best man is going to be 😆
I was best man once, and frankly I did a terrible job of it. I don't speak to the chap for whom I was best man, because when I chose my best man (about seven years later) I didn't choose him so he refused to come to my wedding. Haven't seen him since.
My best man did a great job. He's in south wales, where he was back then (15 years ago), and over the years we would ski together once or twice a year and he would pop up to see us over summer. About two years ago he met a lady and got loved up. We haven't seen him since, as his new missus doesn't ski, though he does occasionally post on facebook. I'm really happy for him, but do miss seeing him. I can tell it's serious though as he was a mad keen skiier so to just drop it cold turkey for the sake of his missus means a lot.
We were out for a bike ride yesterday. He bought me a TdF hat and a whole load of freebies from the stages he'd been at during the race!
I was slack and used the same friend for both weddings, it made a lot of sense as he'd given a great speech the first time round and was still my closest mate.
I don't keep in touch with him as much as I used to , but given that he got a divorce and moved away, it's not surprsing. I do still call him and we chat and when he is around we have a beer together, so it's not like we never keep in touch, but it's not like the old days where we used to spend hours chatting over beers on a friday night.
Sod it, I should try and get him up here for the weekend. Save him from the cultural hell that is Basingrad.
Here's me & Hutchy at my 1st wedding, 16 August 1980. Wer'e still in touch but only see each other at the SSDT every May. He's a good mate & isn't one of those who takes the pip If I don't phone for ages.
I'm the short one of the two.
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I've never been married but I have been a best man. Once for my Brother who I see once a month when he flies in from abroad and once to my best mate who I still see on a regular basis, just yesterday I was helping him work on his new house.
Best man was my brother and whilst we're not as close as we were he's still my best mate.
Ushers, the same, 3 good friends who I still see albeit not as much as I once did, brother in law who I also see a lot.
Pretty happy with my decision really, though it was only 4 years ago so who knows what will happen over the course of time.
My brothers so still see plenty of them (I count them amongst my best of friends). And my wife's Maid of Honour is still a very good friend of ours.
The pageboy - still our nephew but growing up quickly and now living with his mum & dad in Australia, the flower girls - still our nieces but grown up - although still in our lives 🙂
He's in Oban and I'm in Swansea. But this weekend we're both partying in Glagow! Bring it on. Optimo 20th birthday if that means anythign to anyone.
Hutchy looks dead nervous bless him, but at least those dark trousers will have hidden the evidence.
spoke to him last night, we speak 3 times a week!! although i now live in inverness and he's in the new forest, families holidays together once a year and next year we are having a crack at the Paris roubaix sportive then the french divide in 2019
Best man did such a good job in round one that I asked him to be best man for round 2.
He opened.his speech with "half of you can leave now as you've heard this before."
Think the speech lasted longer than the marriage.
My best man moved abroad around the time I got married, he was a mate at uni and fellow cyclist a few years after.
Still in touch, he visits the UK a few times a year and usually does a round trip of UK friends and drops in, which is supercool, because I've not made it to his since our sprogs arrived - no money, no time 🙁 He's still single.
I used to organise a yearly ski trip to the alps and we'd meet up on holiday along with the rest of our group of uni friends, that stopped when most of the group had offspring, although a few of us are planning a child friendly trip.
Yeah, kids change your life, completely.
Optimo 20th birthday if that means anythign to anyone.
@ wonny j it does actually. Catching the boys again in September (2nd outin this year) but never in Glasgow, being a Southerner
Not married yet, but its hopefully on the cards. Will likely be a laid back affair. Not sure about best man..
Still see my best man(best mate since school)on a regular basis and phone and take the piss out each other on face book pretty much daily even though we live sodding miles away and have families, sensible lives etc.. Like most things in life if you value something or someone you tend to make the effort. If you dont then its easy to let it slip under the guide of being too busy or too involved in other things.
Damn, I think I've seen my best man more often than my brother. And that's saying something since my best man lives in Australia.
I always suspected it, but I've only just resigned myself to accepting that the people who want to keep in touch with you, do.
Our wedding was a small affair, meaning no bridesmaids only my young niece as a flower girl.
We still see hubby's ushers.
I'd be more worried about still fitting into the suit, in my case the dress 😉
@GrahamS - are you me? 🙂 though "up here" is where I'm from it's been odd to try and get into proper friendships. furthermore, your mate (or flatmate, I lost thread a bit - isn't Old is he - who I do know from up here !!)
Mine was my brother. Despite being occasionally mutually annoying to each other, we see each other every week and speak most days. Love that irritating git!
Married 16 years ago.
My best man and I took my 11 year old to ZZ Top last week.
So yes, still very much in touch.
Hutchy looks dead nervous bless him, but at least those dark trousers will have hidden the evidence.
He drove me to the church in a peach coloured Hillman Avenger. Talk about 'Get Me To The Church On Time', I was bricking it. We almost ended up in the River Nevis in that thing earlier on in the year!
My best man is still my best mate even though we only see each other a couple of times a year at most. Usually get together with our respective wives and kids for the occasional family day out. Long gone are the mad adventurous trips we used to do as singles, and then as couples. When we get together it's like we only saw each other yesterday even though it's likely been many months.
My two ushers I also only get to see a couple of times a year. I have known them a few years longer than my best man. But we were never as tight as I am with my best man, hence he was my best man.
Married last year in New York; 2 of us and a photographer/witness, nothing else required.
It's life I guess and slightly sad that you lose touch with people who played a big part in your life. That being said, I'm done with those who don't match my effort; life is short, who needs shite friends.
Next door neighbour. See him fairly frequently, sometimes to go cycling (but he keeps going rowing instead). Went to his daughter's wedding on Saturday.
Got married 9 years ago.
My best man I don't see enough but when I do it's like we see each other every day. Been my pal since we were 7 and can't see it ever changing.
Of my 4 ushers 3 are still alive and seen 2 of them in the last two days and the other one I'm spending next weekend with.
And yes I'm still (just about) married 🙂
Married eight years ago, still see my best man and one of the ushers every Thursday for boys night.