[Closed] You know you're old when

When you spot your 1st grey pube

The three day hangover thing

You hand automatically reaches for an imaginary firearm/grenade when you hear teenagers

When you can't do 'it' doggy style anymore cos your knees are ****ed.

littlereddickdangler - Member
You use the phrase 'hit parade'.

i heard the phrase last night

do you remember dial up?

😯

Someone creates a thread about Lotus notes and you know what they are talking about

I haven't been to the 'pictures, in years. I just don't get the films.

When you were about to post something relevant, but... it's gone.

Today, wearing my chinos at work, the young consultant (late 20's) remarked by asking if I was off to play golf, so I told him to piss off, not caring that my senior Mgr was also in earshot.

I think there's 4 examples there..

willard - Member
I go to the same barbers I have been going to for the last ten years. Without being asked, they started trimming my ear hair about a year and a half ago.

I turn 40 next year.

Bloody kids.........

dday - Member
My kids don't know how work a tape player.
my kids think a walkman is just class whatever that means let alone how to use one

Greybeard, I am amazed!! But perhaps I need to change that to Lotus 123. I can remember a new thing called excel being introduced to us 123 users!

Another sign...

You know you're old when standing up means sounds like a bowl of Rice Crispies coming from your knees. Both knees. Every time you stand up. Or sit down.

Dammit.

lotus notes

although Radio 1 was crap when I was a teenager

I recently had to explain to someone about the time before facebook - the incredulous look made me explain that when I was 18 there wasn't mass ownership of mobile phones

best one is you call sportsmen for being past it and then realise they are younger than you

You know you're old when

... you realise that most people are maggots. 🙄

esselgruntfuttock - Member
When you can't do 'it' [s]doggy style anymore cos your knees are ****ed.[/s]

when I was 18 there wasn't mass ownership of mobile phones

You whippersnapper!

You have booted a PC from a cassette tape and thought it was the dogs doodahs!

You used to run tappy lappy down to the newsagents to get your copy of a computer magazine then run home and proceed to copy the programmes contained therein onto your PC by reading and then typing what you read (having first spent 15mins loading the OS from a tape!)

Mobile communications meant a CB!

😆

When you have to get your 7 year old son to show you how to switch the telly on.

... you wonder why camel toe tights are in fashion.

When you don't know what camel toe tights even are! I could probably guess though!

it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night...

When you used log tables and slide rules cos calculators hadn't been invented.

[IMG] [/IMG]

THIS was your first mobile phone

When the cool "Vintage" clothing shop sells the stuff you threw away years ago.

You know you're old when you remember when E's where good , speed kept you awake for days and weed came in blocks .

If this thread is to be believed then I've been old since the age of about 15!

When the cool "Vintage" clothing shop sells the stuff you threw away years ago.

[IMG] [/IMG]

When you find these in a charity shop today on a day off and go YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

and ya feel mint when you try them on and realise you need a belt as they are too loose despite them being a 30" waist thank you MTB!

[IMG] [/IMG]

You start indicating in car parks!

OMG, you've seen me then? And I was the teen tearaway with multiple uninsured bangers having the nuts driven off them!

Not so long ago a woman drank me under the table.

Good girl. 😉

Disaster of a day, problems with one of the unix boxes, so have spent most of the day working in a text box.
And having to explain why I use green text on a black background.

Someone in a night club thinks you are CID

and

Someone asks to take your picture (again in a nightclub) because you look like their mates dad

yes both happened last friday night

My kids don't know how work a tape player.

My kids are unaware that music existed in any actual physical format you could hold in your hand

You remember when all phone were plugged into the walls and had dials. In fact, I remember London being 01 never mind 0171/ 0181 or whatever it is now

anyone remember 01 811 8055?

^^ Swapshop

Was that Swapshop?

I'll add:

When a youngster asks to borrow your iPod "cos it has loads of cool stuff on it [ones chest inflates slightly]... like my dad used to listen to [one is crushed]"

🙁

[i]In fact, I remember London being 01 never mind 0171/ 0181 or whatever it is now[/i]

Never mind that, I remember when Poynton was 7*, not 87*

... you move deliberately to Bournemouth...

The first of the family phone numbers I remember is "Charnock Richard 397" I remember my Mum used exactly that phrase to answer the phone.

When you're more interested in MPG than MPH.

Chris

When you can flick through a dulux colour card with interest.

When you've made 3 posts on this thread and shown restraint as you could have posted 20 times.

Welcome to the club ! From the masterful Nick Lowe ...

When your riding buddies start swapping emails with pictures of them in their early races and you post up yours (national Track Champs) and not only was it taken before most of them were born, the track it took place on was knocked down to make way for Spaghetti Junction.

Oh - and those respectable old grannies - and you think "bloody hell, I ****ed her"

Biege becomes a practical clothing colour choice.
Radio 4 becomes integral in your life.
You have to pinch yourself when you hear yourself, almost, agreeing with UKIP policies.
You almost blub at anything vaguely emmotional.
You think Nick Clegg is a completly ineffectual tool.............oh, hang on, he is.

The weathers dry/getting warmer ..soon you'll be able to corner the car faster/at a higher speed again like its on rails with no fuss. As I thought today.

Err

I'm going to say. .

You know when you are too old when:
You sit pushing F5 (refresh) on here for most of the day.

The nightclub you used to go to turns up on 28dayslater.

Beige clothes... Definitely a sign of getting old, but not one I ever intend to indulge in!

Your colleagues in a design studio find it scarcely believable that you used to actually draw things by hand...and are amazed that you can actually draw things by hand that look pretty cool 8)

You start getting colleagues that refer to Playstation One games as 'retro gaming'.

I found my first grey nostril hair today. It's all over.

And having to explain why I use green text on a black background.

Thank christ, I thought that was just me.

You start to take notice of parkies life insurance ads on the telly.

The onset is ear and nostril hair going mad but now my eyebrows look like two horizontal Brazilians that need "tidying up"

Renegade nasal albino spider legs.

You start to enjoy Time Team

You shart yourself.

sorry what was the question........cup of tea anyone ?

When you contemplate spending more money on shampoo than you would on booze. It had caffeine in it plus makes your hair grow back.

You can remember when the town centre high street was full of independent retailers, and not just pound shops, charity shops, cash converters, and everything else boarded up.

I'm also the 2nd oldest person in my office of 30 people. I feel like a dinosaur

I wouldn't mind, but i'm only 37

Hmm, I'm second youngest in mine, and I'm 52.

When you make that distinct "aaah" grunt of pleasure when you sit in an armchair.

And then make the special grunt that indicates mild displeasure and a slight struggle, when you have to get out of said chair 😳

sicklilpuppy - Member
You can remember when the town centre high street was full of independent retailers, and not just pound shops, charity shops, cash converters, and everything else boarded up.

So last week then?

When you put that stick, the one you've just used to stir paint, aside, to use next time....

When the only only places open on a Sunday were churches and pubs... except...

When, in order to continue drinking, you had to leave the pub at 3'ish on a Sunday and go in search of a local cricket club...

When a night on the town - pubs, club, kebab, taxi home came in at around a tenner!

2 pence was all you needed to use a phone box and, phone boxes were all red....

When you see blokes wearing the latest fashions and you think 'they look complete tits'
[img] [/img]

When your wife suggests you try on a pair of Craghoppers shorts with an elasticated waist, you do so to humour her then think "wow, comfy" and buy three pairs. I think I crossed a line this weekend.

Someone in a night club thinks you are CID

and

Someone asks to take your picture (again in a nightclub) because you look like their mates dad

..you remember Noel Edmonds without eye liner.

..you can say that you once had a handle on C.B. radio called 'mighty Mouse'

..its possible for someone in the next room to hear your knee's creaking if you bend down to tie a shoe lace. 😯

..you cut your own hair.

..you don't even bother checking it with a 2nd mirror to see if it's acceptable.

..you start to wear odd socks and know it's a risk if your trousers ride up a little, but risk it anyway.

..it progresses and you start to ride the bike wearing odd socks with shorts and don't give a phek.

..you ride your old bmx like your dad did when he tried it for the first time.

When you *scuttle off to inform the bf about 10% discount for cupids couch*

Bf then informs you that there's no point. ...."you'll never get your knees in that bent position!" 😯

If I were you , I'd be PLEASED with nose/ear hair!!! 😉

..you can say that you once had a handle on C.B. radio called 'mighty Mouse'

..you start to wear odd socks and know it's a risk if your trousers ride up a little, but risk it anyway.

You remember when Google Street View was nothing but fields.

Breakonefourforamagicrat.. over.

stewartc FTW.

You remember when the 2 choices were IBM or Mackintosh and floppy discs were floppy.

.

when you can't embed videos 😈

when you can remember all these

bah, i give up

When it's either a sh@g OR a ride on a Sunday morning. Because if you try to do both, the effort expended on one has a negative effect on the quality/duration of the other

When you

only ever wear M&S Cotton Rich sports socks in black