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Your best insurance quote is from SAGA 🙁
.......
... you think it might be worth enquiring just for the free parker pen.
.... if your partner offers you “super sex”, you choose the soup.
The policemen lollypop ladies look young
You choose to sit down at a gig
when trousers that show your socks off are strange.
I had a young lady offer up her seat on the bus to me a couple of years back 😕
I nearly wore my slippers to drive to a gig to pick my daughter and her friends up 'because it's late and I'm not getting out the car'.
You think about buying a Brompton to use with the bus pass.
When you're thinking about Cannabis and Joints, but the Cannabis is completely legal oil and the joints are your knees and elbows.
...... your knackers hang far lower that the end of your todger.......... ;o)
You really think **** it when you are ill, and yet years ago you’d still go into work feeling shite and passing germs around.
This week was **** it.
Your spend 10 minutes planning 15 pints of lager and a visit to string fellas, than stand up and arch your back in pain hands on hips with an oooh, arrrgh ummpf....
You enjoy the sponge more than the icing of a birthday cake.
Your wife suggests going upstairs and having sex......and you tell her it has to be one or the other.
You know you're really old when you stop buying green bananas (pinched from Barry Cryer).
I nearly wore my slippers to drive to a gig to pick my daughter and her friends up ‘because it’s late and I’m not getting out the car’.
Done that but I was wearing PJs and picking up from their friends house!
Far too many online dating women's profile pics look like your mum.
You go a whole night without waking up for a piss and it's something to celebrate
You don't have to buy your mates birthday cards anymore.
today half the office is going to the Massive Attack Mezzanine 21st anniversary tour.
I'm not arsed, because I went to the original tour... :/
When I realised the watch I was wearing was older than 2 members of my team. Note, said watch is not vintage, it was new on my 18th birthday. Also playing veterans football.
My dad's was when he came to watch me play veterans football...
When you crouch down to tie your shoes and think, is there anything else I can do while I am down here....
When I realised the watch I was wearing was older than 2 members of my team.
The backpack I use if I cycle to work is older than two of the people that work in my team.
ton
Member
…… your knackers hang far lower that the end of your todger………. ;o)
To true brother 😮
funkmasterp
Subscriber
The backpack I use if I cycle to work is older than two of the people that work in my team.
I have 4 pairs of tyres that are older than our 2nd year apprentice and one of my frames is twice his age!
When the apprentices are listening sagely to everything the "old hand" has to tell them, and then you realise that that "old hand" is you.
When the new apprentice called Jamie looks very bewildered when the whole depot starts singing "Jamie and the magic torch" and someone has to sit down and explain via a YouTube clip what the old people are finding so funny.
When the young lass on the checkout calls you "dear" ..felt like saying who are you calling " dear " you cheeky cow ..but then realised that in her eyes I probably do look ancient ..😁
… your knackers hang far lower that the end of your todger……
Thank you for putting it so exquisitely as well 🙂
You're chatting to someone about football and you mention that Jordi Cruyff's dad was a good player and they say "who?". Sadly that happened twenty years ago!
When you have to explain who the Sex Pistols were.
When you join the Caravan and camping club.
When instead of hoping the traffic lights at the top of the hill stay green so you don't lose momentum, you're glad they turn red so you can have a rest.
When you're walking down the pavement and a gorgeous 25 year old blond with her mother passes you and you fancy the mother.
When you compliment a lad on his Ramones t-shirt, and he says he didn't realise they were a band... 😐
When your good trousers you looked out for a wedding are older than the groom.
When you make funny noises getting up from a chair.
When you want to sit down in the pub.
When you head home from a night out and pass all the young people heading out.
When you thought you had finished peeing but no-one told your bladder.
When nasal and ear hair harvesting are a weekly thing.
When you crouch down to tie your shoes and think, is there
anything else I can do while I am down hereanyone about who can help give me a hand to stand up….
Your best insurance quote is from SAGA
The last one was. And they’ve been the most helpful as well.
When it takes you forever to scroll down to your year of birth filling in an online form
When one of your mates says he didn’t realise Monty Python was originally a TV series
When you climb in a minibus with the new apprentice. Only to realise he is son of your old summer job boss, and you've baby sat him before...
When it takes you forever to scroll down to your year of birth filling in an online form
☝️ So true
When all your mates start having children on purpose!
Or when you get told to slow down by the doctor instead of the police.
When the Radio 2 DJs are a bit fresh.
You think michael buble has a lovely voice.
The testicle thing ,+2!
When the security guard at Uni assumes you're a lecturer, not a student.
When socks are a really good present.
When you offer to drive all the time because drinking makes you ill for a week.
When you're driving in the dark and dab your brakes because in the opposite direction is a car coming straight at you.... a 1/4 of a mile away.
If any of the online dating women are reading, you may look like me Mum, but my knackers don’t hang lower than me todger!
a National Trust cream tea is the highlight of the week !
You go a whole night without waking up for a piss and it’s something to celebrate
And then you realise you posted exactly the same thing several hours ago
Rantalian is the word I believe you may be looking for.
When you remember the GPO installing the phone. You had no choice about the colour either
Your arms are too short to read a newspaper.