[Closed] You know you're old when

your nose hair grows faster than the hair on your head....

I quite like the new Bowie album.

I quite like the new Bowie album.

That's half dead rather than old 😉

You realize that a volume control goes down as well as up

your using more facewash than shampoo in the shower

The attractive young (female) hairdresser asks if you want her to trim your ear hair

You sky+ last night documentary on BBC 2 on the Flying Scotsman.

Yeah I felt the need to give chase and catch three local youths from the village a give them a bollocking the other week for throwing stones at the village hall.

made me feel bloody old

Yoofs today 🙄

you wear a vest/base layer most of the year.

mulv1976 - Member
The attractive young (female) hairdresser asks if you want her to trim your ear hair

I go to the same barbers I have been going to for the last ten years. Without being asked, they started trimming my ear hair about a year and a half ago.

I turn 40 next year.

your using more facewash than shampoo in the shower

You get pointlessly irritated by people misusing "your" and "you're" on forums.

You have absolutely no idea who is number one on the hit parade.

Ferraris start looking like the inside of a tin of broken biscuits

You use the phrase 'hit parade'.

You realise the rules are there to keep everyone safe, not to be broken.

You start buying tins of broken biscuits

You get pointlessly irritated by people [s]misusing "your" and "you're" on forums.[/s]

Lol @ midlands g 🙂

you stand with the fridge door open wondering if your hingrey or if you just had something

You're the only one still snowboarding....

😉

Yo haven’t ridden your bike for the last 4 years mainly due to recurring back injuries.

You need reading glasses... 😥

EDIT: yes, with a string on them.

every time somebody raves about a " new " song you can remember the origonal version

right I'm off to the knackers yard

You start feeling something stuck in your ear on road descents, and no matter how much you stick your finger in it can't be dislodged.. then you realise it's your hairy ears.

You start writing letters to the rights-of-way officer complaining about young ruffians on motorcycles. 😐

You're still [s]art [/s]writing letters [s]to the rights-of-way officer complaining about young ruffians on motorcycles. [/s]

FTFY. 😉

Women you used to go Phwooarr! over in your youth now look like respectable old grannies!

Bands you used to go and see in your twenties are now on their second comeback, sound cr@p, and play in Las Vegas to pay their tax arrears.

Your favourite film stars are all dead.

...hangovers last more than one day and you no longer plan two 'big nights' in a row.

You just spend your life in a state of constant irritation, though you're not sure about the exact source of it. And you spend a lot of your time shouting at the telly, particularly Newsnight

And the worst of all, thinking 'she's going to catch her death going out dressed like that'. When did that happen?

<cries>

Thanks CFH

😉

And the worst of all, thinking 'she's going to catch her death going out dressed like that'. When did that happen?

I'd imagine it happened shortly after you moved to Newcastle.

you complain to the council about street lights being out and danger to the public, and after 3 weeks and 6 emails/phone calls which go unanswered you flounce and look up local councillor and contact him.

[quote=fatalbert ]You sky+ last night documentary on BBC 2 on the Flying Scotsman.

aww bollocks I misssed that

Go for a couple of beers then sit down for a curry 'not too late'. On Saturday it was 9.30pm.

Your worried about the petrol consumption of your lawn mower.

Go for a couple of beers then sit down for a curry 'not too late'. On Saturday it was 9.30pm.

Last time I went for beer & curry, I was ready for home and my "comfortable trousers" by 10pm.

I might sign myself up for the Liverpool Care Pathway right now.

I'll second the wearing glasses for reading.. But the rest so far I don't/won't acknowledge.

" laughs at " hit parade""

You start indicating in car parks!

When you buy pearl barley.

Women you used to go Phwooarr! over in your youth now look like respectable old grannies!

But you still would 😈

When the ideal, wantonly indulgent, post-dinner weekend treat goes from being a cheeky line, to a nice doze on the sofa

ROCK AND ROLL!!! HELLO CLEVELAND!!! HELLOOOOOOOOOO CLEVELAND!!!!!!

You admit to owning

"comfortable trousers"

<cries some more>

<signs the Liverpool Care Pathway forms>

<pays the child next-door a shilling to take them to the Post Office>

you can remember the first "You know you're old when" thread.

* eyebrows at the hair dressers
* people driving on side lights in the pitch dark

....when your 'pre-drinking' before a big night out changes from 4 beers, to wine, to a cup of tea - so that you can stay awake past 21:00.

..it becomes impossible to listen to Radio 1.

...in order to read anything written on an item in your hand, said item must be moved backwards and forwards AND into an area of better lighting before it's possible to see it.

...you can remember when light bulbs emitted light and did so immediately upon flick of the switch.

..explaining to young children that the internet hasn't always been there.

ton -you wear a vest/base layer most of the year

In a similar vein what I would refer to as a thermal vest now seems to be called a "technical base layer"

You groan when you pick up anything on the floor.

You know you're old when

18yr old girls are now seen as 'too young' ...I'm not there yet 8)

hangovers last more than [s]one[/s] three days and you no longer plan [s]two[/s] 'big nights'[s] in a row[/s].

The pretty girl serving your coffee calls you "sir" 🙁

The pretty girl serving your coffee calls you "sir"

Not [i]necessarily[/i] a bad thing... 😉

When you started mountain biking:
- No-one had heard of a cycle helmet.
- No-one had heard of a trail centre.
- No-one had heard of a mountain bike(!)
- Most of the equipment and materials now found on a mountain bike, weren't.
- You're still faintly amused that riding around in the woods making motorbike noises became an olympic sport.

for me the first thing was thinking a Dr was abit young to treat me in hospital

My gran used to say
" you know you are old when all your children are retired"

... you're old when...

You get number 0 crop because it's easy to explain and lasts longer 'til you have to go again...

You have more patience, but actually it's just that you don't care anymore.

You know who/what sturmey archer were...

...you play golf against your old Uni and the current students were not born when you were there...

...helmets didn't exist - made life some simple, so few arguments...

...staying in to watch a box set of Homeland/Killing/24 instead of going out starts have some appeal

It hit me the other week when the Moira Stewart (hmmm, what a voice - i am old...) explained in her Radio 2 new bulletin that the favourite to win a bunch of Brit Awards was someone called Emily Sandez - who I'd never heard of

They then played one her of songs which I didn't recognise

I'm also the 2nd oldest person in my office of 30 people. I feel like a dinosaur

I wouldn't mind, but i'm only 37

Anyone mentioned drinking yet?

When I was 20- if someone said they could drink all day/like a hero I thought they were incredibly sad.

Nowadays if someone 10yrs younger (it happens) says they go on an all day bender... I still think the same but they OFTEN say 'its because your old now/can't drink/****ed etc'.

Right, whatever. Not so long ago a woman drank me under the table. I was actually concerned for her longterm health.

You smell of wee.

when the policeman is younger than you

[i]You have absolutely no idea who is number one on the hit parade. [/i]

And even when you find out, you've never heard of them.

You set off from one room & by the time you've left it, you've completely forgotten what you're looking for & where it is.

( Yep - earlier today ....bad sign for a near 48 yr old)
Chris

hit parade ? does it still exist , what about juke box jury ?

You hear the words your dad used to say now coming out of your mouth.
"Turn that noise down"

Chris

You groan when you pick up anything on the floor.

...and whilst you're at it you wonder to yourself...is there anything else I can do whilst I'm down here...!

When you start to find "River Monsters" riveting TV.

Oh and the Flying Scotsman program will be on iPlayer.

You look in the mirror and your dad [or mum] looks back.

When I first turned up in Nottingham (1992) I was inundated each Saturday in the city by young people giving me cards for nightclubs.

Now they either don't acknowledge my existence or run away!

Or when you realise that you've gone from that sharp dressed young man to the middle aged chap wearing the same clothes as your Dad 🙂

When playing rugby you realise that some of the kit you're wearing is older than some of your teammates.

when you appraise the music your kids listen to with the verdict "that's not music, it's just noise"

And then realise that you are your dad.

My kids don't know how work a tape player. 🙄

As a general rule:
Anything invented before you were born is old.
Anything invented before you turn 50 is revolutionary.
Anything invented after you turn 50 is pointless, a waste of time, and just plain dangerous.

Someone creates a thread about Lotus notes and you know what they ae talking about 😉

when the cops come to your door to discuss your latest speeding shenanigans and you refer to one of them as "son"

When you go "oooh me back" when getting out of bed!

When one of your mountain mayhem team mates (who you think of as being just a couple of years younger) wasn't born til you started secondary school!

You did O levels not GCSEs.

Bands you used to go and see in your twenties are now on their second comeback, sound cr@p, and play in Las Vegas to pay their tax arrears.

Just a couple days ago I mentioned to Mrs. BD that it was pretty scary to see so many of the bands we grew up listening to now playing in out-of-the-way Indian casinos! Some are even on their third comeback tour--must be hell when the money runs out.

today chatting with my other half and one of my best mates.. (both ten years my junior, which quite easily makes me feel old in itself)) and me and the good lady were talking about an evening out we had last week.. she was adamant that no-one at the event was young, whilst I swore the place was full of youngsters.. 😳