[Closed] You favorite phrases

I use the word "cool" like Im stuck in an 80's BBCBASIC loop...

I use the word piss as an exclamation or interjection.

What could possibly go wrong

Cool

Have you heard about the Big Bike Bash?

for f***s sake !!

"Go and p*ss up a rope, ****stick." Don't know where that comes from.

"Never nudge yer Granny when she's shaving". From Mike Harding.
First thing that comes into my head when anyone asks for advice.

neverfastenuff - thats one of mine too. As my wife pointed out when my 4 year old started repeating it at every available opportunity.

Also: "I'd rather remove my own kidney's with a teaspoon". Used pretty much every time anyone asks me to do something

****yballs mc****sock

"what planet are you on"
"chuffin ell"
"they aint all locked up" (nutters)

Strange though it may be (going from the 'calling someone gay' thread) my phrase is:

soapytit****

Dunno why, it always appears humorous to me!

Which part of NO! dont you understand.

"w@nk fackin tastic" - accidently left this as a comment in some source code I submitted and almost got a module failed when I was at uni 😕

"you can take your <blank> and shove it up your boll0cks, mate" - I find the glimmer of confusion on their face as they try to parse 'up your bollocks' most amusing

nip nap shite

Rusty Spanner - Member
"Go and p*ss up a rope, ****stick." Don't know where that comes from.

Was that not from Viz? As was soapytit****

OH, go on. I won't take long.

😳

jog on

S**t the bed - I seem to use that rather a lot as an exclamation for some reason

fancy a shag and a pizza...? whats wrong with pizza?

I to am partial to "soapytit****" it just rolls off the tongue.

'knickers' is my work expletive.

During a lull in phone conversations my friend and I often have the exchange:
Me: "ho hum"
Them: "indeed"

Or vice versa.

Oh, fer f*cks sake!
Chuffin' machine!
Frack
Think of it as evolution in action (whenever a particularly stupid action results in the demise of the person)

jojoA1 - Member
I to am partial to "soapytit****"

Priceless.

"bum nuts" makes me laugh every time and is a great response to EVERYTHING!

Happy to brighten your day Coffeeking 😆

Fu*ksticks is becoming a bit of a regular in my vocabulary at the mo. Luckily there is a song about it on Youtube.

If you do go looking just remember, [url=

not worksafe[/url].

snazzy is my new one! everything has to be snazzy, like my new BBQ its so ****ing snazzy!

other than that anything to do with ****, shit, c**t, cock, balls, ****. Im at uni so it fits in well with my housemate's lingo!

jew is a favourite too, dont know why!

Matt

Brace yourself, this may make your eyes water

Perennial favourite is "Everything's idiot-proof until they hand me a better idiot"

Although recent expletive has been "Holy Mackerel!" (usually followed by the rest of that punchline, "look at all them ****ing Injuns..."

JoJo - so you saw that episode of Star Stories too ?

I am currently in an Australian phase:

"Rack off ! Or I'll dob you in the the screws !"

And the other day I was invited to a seminar that promised to:

"comceptualise the semantic infrastructure of the web"

so am trying to work that into conversation as much as possible, it's not easy, so thanks for the freebie.

**** a duck seems to be favorite at the moment!!

from a couple of months ago : My 4 year old god daughter was watching me work on my bike in the garage and then went off to play with her dollies. She put a bandage on the dollies arm and her monther asked 'Has your dolly hurt her arm?'

To which little Abigail replied 'Yes and it is proper bolloxed'

No sure why I got the blame for that.

"sweet as bro" - from to much time spent in New Zealand
"Cock" - the all purpose not to offensive exletive

"****in spiders!" (know one knows the origin)
and to my shame
"I'd go out for a bike ride and paint them white on the way out"

Sorry

"that's not how we roll"

"nought bru"

My personal favourite:
[url]

[i]Have you heard about the Big Bike Bash? [/i]
Only if closely followed by 'ten quid for a [b]spectators[/b] ticket? Christ on a bike'

You can't polish a turd.

Cock if things go wrong. Superb if I likes it.

"word up nigga" - only to be used if both parties in the conversation are white

"yea, thats what your mum said"

"subtle as a half brick through your window"

And when on a night out, any phrase used in Anchorman is fair game.

**** a hairy duck!

[i]Only if closely followed by 'ten quid for a spectators ticket? Christ on a bike' [/i]

Shouldn't that be "Christ on a bike that's cheaper than a nights camping in the New Forest and you get a music festival, beer festival and to watch people do stupid stuff on bikes"

or was that just too much to type?

'you can't polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter'
'i'd rather be fired from a cannon than squeezed from a tube'
'hunched over like a man diving into a pool that was emptied yesterday'

last two quote hunter s thompson

anything with 'hunched over, furiously' preceeding it, when on rides 🙂

[i]Only if closely followed by 'ten quid for a spectators ticket? Christ on a bike'

Shouldn't that be "Christ on a bike that's cheaper than a nights camping in the New Forest and you get a music festival, beer festival and to watch people do stupid stuff on bikes"[/i]

no.

pint of ipa please

I'm finding the good old fall back of "Tosser" when referring to any random chance encounter with the motoring-death-squad is doing it for me at the minute...

bolloxy sh*te is my most commonly used one!!
Strange how I manage to refrain from using in front of a class of 6 yr olds but it manages to slip out about every 10 minutes at home!

Oh, and "for f*ck's sake"!!
I am thoroughly ashamed of my foul mouth, especially when kids constantly tell me off!! 😳

Must try harder!

that's ****ed it..
cock!! my expletive of choice these days, probably too much top gear

okaaaaaaaaaay!

as a replacement for er . . . your a bit mad aren't you!

just cos youve got hairs round you lips doesnt mean you have to talk like a *unt

"I'd tap that"

"the bell is a signal for ME not you"

"walk don't run"

"you'd just as well s**t in yer hand and punch it"
"s**k my 'tater"
"blimey charlie"

S**t the bed - I seem to use that rather a lot as an exclamation for some reason

That's a favourite of mine, too! Strangely, the first time I heard it, was on TV, with Lionel Blair, of all people, using it.

I used it loads when I shared a place with others. One of me flatmates was in Africa, Tanzania I think, and saw something that surprised her. She said she heard herself say 'Shit the...' then realised what she was saying. She hated the fact that something she told me off about, she almost ended up using herself.

Most of mine seem to involve the words shit, bastard, f*ck, and c*nt.

And Jesus Christ. Which is incredibly disrespectful to Christians.

'Christ on a bike' is one I use a fair bit. Not at work, though.

Actually, Christ is something that creeps in, too.

'Shitting Jesus' is praps one of my worst.

I actually have a lot of respect for Christianity, and many of it's followers. As I do for all religions.

"She had a fanny like a wizards sleeve/clowns pocket"

Sadly, it would appear I've used this a fair bit in the past...

"f#*k it"
" thats what we likeeeee"
"prick, ****errrrrrr" - hot fuzz
"thats what she said" - can be used to finish people sentences in a crude way

safe for work: muppets, flippin' 'eck (good for diverting an errant fffff into something slightly more 'professional')

not safe for work: knobshine, ****, bellend, etc. Niche cursing if at all possible.

'I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot stunt-cock' is one of my current favourites....

Along with 'And which of the words "Accident" and "Emergency" are you having the most difficulty with?'

"that stinks" - usually after letting rip.

Along with 'And which of the words "Accident" and "Emergency" are you having the most difficulty with?'

Yes, but you are a doctor.

A Doctor of Death.

'Sh1t the bed'
'F"ck me a bus'
'Spiders'
'Nurse'

and most alarmingly, for at least 25 years I have regularly exclaimed...

'God me Kev's eyes'

- but I can't remember the origins of this.

a monkey in a skirt is still a monkey

"Voldemorts Nipple"

I just watched all 5 H'ry P'tr movies with my lad,took us a week, and the nipple thing comes from Potter

Puppet Palls off Youtube.

Load of B$%%^ks but geat fun

"If your looking for sympathy its between sh!t & syphillis in the dictionary.."

'She's like a DC 10......................guaranteed to go down!

"do your self a favour and disappear"

"silly bolloxs"

"its on a need to know basis and guess what??"

"ram it / poke it"

"Never in a world of pig's pudding"

One of my Dad's - must use it more myself. Say in a proper Black Country accent for maximum effect

dont know if this is a bristol thing but a few of my mates say 'standard' half way through a conversation instead of yes or thats right. personally super rad seems to come out my gob too much.......

Any port in a storm.

greetings:"hello poof" "aight, bender!"
"cheers poof(s)" - said this last night at a party. having a few drinks and i asked one of the guys which of the women he'd like to **** in the room. he said none of them. i said "bender". turns out the other guy was his boyfriend. oops.

"genau" - exactly in german.
"geil" - meaning awesome but also as in "she was so wet/horny" "sie war echt geil"

"bollocks" and "tits" when something goes wrong.

A good one in the we use in the force's for useless Sgt's is "****ing aquafresh" (a tube with 3 stripes)

I use "have a word" alot when someone is speaking rubbish to me.

rad to the power of sick

and

we're not at home to Mr negative/miserable/rude etc.

There will be a pigs foot on it in the morning.

A phrase of my grandmothers if you made a fuss about hurting yourself

These are from me mum,
you'll end up in queer street.
it's a dead in a live hole.

**** like the bomb doors on a Lancaster

I've got relatives’better than you, and they've been dead for 200 years.

'Needs must when satan vomits into your kettle'
(Blackadder)
Also the word 'waycot' as a contraction of 'Whatdoyoucallit' comes in very handy when the brian is not fast enough

I'm into tmesis at the moment, mainly as it is an abso-chuffin-lutely new word I learned.

My favourite response to "can I ask you a question?" is to now reply:
"yes it is that big (hold out hands about a 18 inches apart), and no you can't see it..."
Not sure how well it goes down at work.....

DrP