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Never buy coffee from a womble. It'll always be under ground or over ground.
Why are German kids better than other kids in Europe?
Because they are kinder.
I told a joke on a zoom call this morning. No one laughed.
Turns out I’m not remotely funny.
Devon and Cornwall have cancelled their joint 60s and 70s retro music festival because they couldn't agree whether to put The Jam or Cream on first.
Two Conspiracy Theorists walk into a bar
You can't tell me thats just a coincidence.
Two ladies looking at dresses in the shop. One says to the other "that's the one I'd get".
Then a cyclops comes around the corner and kills her.
Two chimps in a bath. One says "Oohh! Oohh! Aahh! Aahh!'. The other says 'Well put some cold in then'.
Before Movember comes around, does anybody want to sponosr me eating triangular shaped pieces of chocolate, for Octoblerone????
What do you call two birds stuck together?
Velcrows
What kind of ape goes bang?
BABOON!
Courtesy of my mate Kev,
A step by step guide to falling down stairs:
Step 1
Step 6
Step 8,9,10
Step 12,13.