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Please give examples.
At what point do you switch off and think this guy/guys/company are full of shit
The many many pointless acronyms a lot of bike manufacturers come up with, when all they’ve actually changed between model years is the paint colour.
That, and 650b
Naming your company after a town, making a big deal about it, then making your stuff somewhere else.
😏
An ad on telly about an hour ago had some whiney American telling me that my life would be transforned because of some kind of mattress topper that featured 'Award Winning Technology'.
So I turned over.
Most adverts to be honest.
Most of my viewing is via iplayer and Netflix, so when I do see adverts it really jars.
The ones that make me laugh are the bike promo vids, tells you nothing, give a pro a £100 halfords specia and they’ll make it look good.
Putting "i""e" or "Green"before a product name is a subtle kind of marketeers bullshit that I really dislike. When it comes to actual guff and completely fabricated language I imagine the sports nutrition industry is probably right up there.
Paraphrasing a famous comic, so famous I’ve forgotten who.
“New and improved”
Which is it? If it’s new then it can’t be an improved version. If it’s improved then it’s not new.
<span style="display: inline !important; float: none; background-color: transparent; color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue','Helvetica',Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 14.4px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Naming your company after a town, making a big deal about it, then making your stuff somewhere else.</span><b></b><i></i><u></u>
Again? Really?
[edit]this new forum really is rubbish[/edit]
Bear with us, it will be worth the wait
Bifidus digestivum. Let’s take a big pot of yoghurt, sell it in tiny wee pots, make up some Latin nonsense and says its real good for you. Wife falls for this cack no wonder our shopping bills tho the roof.
Add pretty much any hair or face product targeted at the laydeeeeeZ to the list.
The general attack abuse your potential customers marketing bobbins seems to work...
Treat em mean keep em keen !
On last night "74% agree"**
** of 105 serveyed.
Wow 80 people said the product worked, lets roll it out.
The fake science in every make up, shampoo, diet pills, health fads etc.
Car adverts that don’t actually show anything remotely relating to what the car does. Just showing the lifestyle you’ll have if you buy it, when in reality you’ll just be stuck in traffic like the rest of us.
Any cologne or perfume adverts. WTAF are they?
Hydrate or die.
Second place is first loser.
Any cough and cold "remedies." We all know nothing works , it's the biggest con ever .
Every single perfume advert.
Man jumps out of helicopter, lady throws rocks at helicopter, man now has suitcase filled with money, lady runs up tall building, man eats apple with fork, lady puts on perfume. Fin.
?
Bill Hicks got it right.
Every single perfume advert.
Man jumps out of helicopter, lady throws rocks at helicopter, man now has suitcase filled with money, lady runs up tall building, man eats apple with fork, lady puts on perfume. Fin.
This!!!!! 😂😂😂
I'm a dentist and recommend this product they're paying me to tell you about.
I'm no medical doctor but I think that's actually true.Hydrate or die.
Which is it? If it’s new then it can’t be an improved version. If it’s improved then it’s not new.
Of course it can.
Or.
The new Forum will be better.
Bifidus digestivum
Sounds like a Harry Potter spell.
The new Forum will be better.
Improved.
Having just logged in again, I was about to nominate....
But the winner goes to:
The Conservative Party.
Brexit.
Corbyn, the bastard!
HOUSE!
Ah, forgot god.
Game on.
Expensive watches.
Old but great... For all the proper engineers out there 🙂
DFS sale.....buy it NOW before it's too late!
Sale ends in two days.......yeah right.
Old but great… For all the proper engineers out there 🙂
Reminds me of that Fry and Laurie sketch lol
Upto 95% off!
5% < 95% The ad hasn't lied!
75% of cats prefer...
[img] 
[/img]
New Labour....HA Ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha Ha ha Ha 🤔
“So easy a man could do it giggle”.
Saying it’s all natural ingredients. Asbestos is natural, salmonella is natural.......
50mb download speed*
unlimited downloads**
*dependent on distance from exchange, the number of other customers and how crap our local cables are.
**fair usage policy applies.
Bear with us, it will be worth the wait
Seems to have been overlooked but made me lol.
And just to prove a point it's failed to seperate the quote from what I was saying.
****ing useless new forum.
Kashima
Oakley exclusive technologies:
nofogium (anti-fog)
noscratchium (scratch resistant coating)
ISYN In their literature in the early 90’s.
New Forum
I had to bloody log on, again, again, just to post a reply.
Nissan Juke cars had the slogan "urbanproof mastered" !
WFT, random words stuck together with no meaning whatsoever
Perfume ads - just random 'beatiful' people, scenes and things lobbed together. Creative, innit.
Car ads - always open road, sunshine, no other traffic, amazeballs lifestyle etc. Never sat in a queue or loading the weekly shop in the p*ss*ng rain while the kids argue and try to batter thier doors into the car next door that's in a space too small...
Any advert that tries to be personable - things like Microsoft and the messages when you do an update or install 'sit back, relax, we will be with you in a minute'. Sky do the same....
Some of the marketing material I created ended up on 'Have I Got News For You'. In the section where they take an obscure industry publication and block out part of a headline.
Not sure if that was my highest marketing moment, or lowest...
Right now, pretty much every new product that SRAM unveils is built to a proprietary new standard that no-one asked for.
Pentapeptides
Any advert that tries to be personable
Agreed, any form of wackaging can do one. Innocent smoothies and virgin trains are among the worst culprits.
Recently gave some feedback to a company I've used for ages as they'd changed their courier. They'd previously used DPD with hourly slots that worked well for the heavy items they'd deliver, but had since moved to FedEx with an all-day slot. I sent a polite email and had no intention of changing suppliers - just wanted to advise that their new courier was less convenient. I got the following response:
They [FedEx] are one of the largest courier services in the world, with an amazing reputation for on-time, quality deliveries. I understand they don't currently provide the one-hour time slot you are used to, but we know this will be made up with their best in class service.
What does that last sentence even mean???
Changed supplier!
[i]Add pretty much any hair or face product targeted at the laydeeeeeZ to the list[/i]
Surely they are bloody brilliant marketing? If they can get millions of ladies buying a half gram tube of "revitalising cream" guaranteed to make them look 106 years younger in 2 hours for £35 then they've done a fantastic marketing job.
Nationwide ads with people singing or reading poetry on them - I will never sign up for a Nationwide product while these vomit inducing missives are inflicted upon my TV.
<span style="color: #444444; font-size: 16px; background-color: #eeeeee;">Surely they are bloody brilliant marketing? If they can get millions of ladies buying a half gram tube of “revitalising cream” guaranteed to make them look 106 years younger in 2 hours for £35 then they’ve done a fantastic marketing job.</span>
^^This!!!
<span style="color: #444444; font-size: 12px;">What does that last sentence even mean???</span>
"To save money we have gone with a cheaper courier. Whilst far worse than the old one compared to the other cheap couriers they may occasionally manage to deliver to the right address so they are the best in class even if its a lot lower class than you would like".
"Best in class"
= Class size, 1.
"Listen carefully, here comes the science bit"
"Look, right, people have taken the piss out of the adverts with made up sciencey sounding names. So what we're going to do is go one better and take the piss right our of tour target market because they can't tell the difference between voodoo and science, and I'm betting the farm that they won't even realise it. If I'm honest all we actually have to do is slap a picture of someone with airbrushed hair on the advert, play some sexy music, and its a done deal. Now, what are we charging the client for this advice again?"
"what's a compuder?"
[i]Inspired by dentists.[/i]
Any IT company website - they'll spangle on and on about leveraging synergies and harmonising heuristics to give runicble reconciliation of bottom line spurglits... but don't actually explain what their product does.
In fact I sometimes used to share the first paragraph off a website with people in the office and ask them what it was selling - it was a rare day that anyone worked it out.
I have been to the cinema quite a lot in the last few months.
If I see that Twitter ad with Romesh Ranganathan one more time.. there..will..be..blood.
Not anti Twitter,but Jebus H Crhiest on a bike what a load of annoying bobbins.
^^^yes^^^ twotter! However, I've just seen a holiday advert for First Choice holidays, fanbloodytastic:
GO MAHOOSIVE WITH THE ALL INCLUSIVE
Classy.
It's the car ads for me.
There's one at the moment at the cinema where a man manages to corall some snarling wolves protecting his palatious house using nothing but his aggessively styled SUV.