[Closed] Worst Christmas presents?

Mrs Wombat's colleague was bought a ride on lawnmower for Christmas a couple of years ago by her husband.

She bought him a pair of Tiffany earrings for his next birthday,

Mrs S once bought me a lampshade.
S'a very nice lampshade, but it came as a bit of a shock at the time.

Was really, really hoping that my wife would take the huge hints I had sprinkled liberally throughout the six months preceding Christmas and buy me the newly released Playstation 2.

Xmas morning.........Corby trouser press. Gutted.

Still use it most days though.

A few years ago I got a cheese board, all packaged up in a pretty box. No cheese with it, it was just a 6 inch square bit of wood.

Mrs Wombat's colleague was bought a ride on lawnmower for Christmas a couple of years ago by her husband.

[b]She bought him a pair of Tiffany earrings for his next birthday,[/b]

I'm not complaining, but last year I had a spice rack for Christmas, very handy it was too, I use it pretty much everyday - but only because I do all the cooking in my house - it was like "here's something to help make your work at home better".

In fairness, it was my own fault, I'm "impossible to buy for" and we were all but broke because my wife was still on maternity leave - but it's the cooking version of an ironing board isn't it?

Anyway, sticking to the basics this year, expensive sparkly stuff for her, expensive consumer electronic gadget for me.

My wife thought I'd really, really like a maroon onesie for Christmas last year..no, I really wouldn't! 👿

Those insincere ones from ppl who never knock on yr door or even pick up the phone all year to ask how yr doing, yet dutifully buy a bargain a few days before Xmas. Receipt of which makes me do a fake smile, so I blame them for that as well.

A onesie from someone you love (reciprocally) is a joyous thing.

Similarly: 'It's real soapstone!' Whatever - if it comes with a real smile it melts my heart.

Once got the missus a onesie as a joke present, you know bit of cheery bantz on christmas morn, all good fun innit?

Except it wasn't.

A friend of mine bought his wife a new iron and ironing board* and it was made very clear that he was to have christmas dinner at his parents.

*Both of which he takes great pains to point out were needed and are still in use ten years later.

My mum bought me a wooden flapping mobile - I think it was a bird or maybe a pegasus.

a) I can't stand ornaments
b) You had to hang it from the ceiling, I lived in a rented flat.

[quote=lemonysam ]*Both of which he takes great pains to point out were needed

He doesn't really get it, does he?

Rechargeable screwdriver

I lived in a Yurt with no power at the time so neither had screws nor pwoer

Sealed jam jar with my brothers bum wind held within.

From the look on his face I knew it was vintage and shouldn't be opened. Still have it somewhere.

a black and decker electric tape measure from my mum

I lived in a Yurt

To be fair. I'd struggle to think of something to buy for someone who lived in a yurt.

My sister once bought me a ball of string and a bar of chocolate.
To be fair she was quite young at the time.
Oh and when I first started on my journey in the world of work, my parents bought me an umbrella as they thought that was the sort of thing I would like. It wasn't.

I have some strange relatives in Norfolk.

One year they gave me a gold coloured knitted woollen tie.

Then next year I got a rusty broken pen knife from them...

23 years ago, my mum bought me this as my only Christmas present: [url= ]

Once got the missus a onesie as a joke present, you know bit of cheery bantz on christmas morn, all good fun innit?

. wrong thread.

One year when I was 17/18 I received a pair of workboots from the Shipyard stores where my stepdad worked 🙁

I can still remember when I was about 10 years of age my dad gave my mum an I.O.U for some new lights in the lounge my dad had just decorated.
Priceless 😯

I once received a trouser press from my mum and dad.

My mum said that everyone should have one. I pointed out that they didn’t.

Gave it away to a colleague.

once received a trouser press from my mum and dad.

My mum said that everyone should have one.

...on the upside, you can make giant toasties.

On the downside, japesters can make dirty waffles.

Bag of nuts last year

Properly annoyed 😀

Maybe this year I'll get an orange

Also a few years ago, a coffee machine, I haven't drank coffee for around 10 years

I once got a block of soap with these words stamped in it..

"This soap smells of shit"

I
Kid
U
Not

Father in law is getting on a bit, physically and mentally but always manages to help,out at the local xmas fair on the second hand book stall.

He always waits till clearing up,starts and then grabs the free books that are left at the end.

Last year I the readers digest ( or something similar) guide to DIY. FROM 1974.

Last year I the readers digest ( or something similar) guide to DIY. FROM 1974

That is a good present! I still refer to my Dad's one 🙂

My Mum gave me this kind of thing for keeping keys in, possibly, nobody could tell exactly what it was, some kind of useless wallet in cheap imitation beige leather. She hadn't wrapped it either, and it came with a free passport photo of a complete stranger.

Another time she gave me one of those caps with a built in solar fan, which didn't work at all and one of the blades had snapped off.

I win this one. I have never EVER gotten a present from my parents that didn't come with a hint of disappointment. Not because I am ungrateful but because I just could never fathom their thinking.

The year I was desperate for a ghetto blaster with tape to tape. I wished and wished for one. Imagine my face as my older brother who didn't give a hoot about a ghetto blaster opened his brand new ghetto blaster. I don't remember what I got, I just sat and watched him with his new ghetto blaster.

My 18th Christmas was a rather impressive 20 pack of boxer shorts.

My 21st Christmas was one of them porcelain shell sets for your soap to sit in for the bathroom. I later found out my mum won the set at bingo in Blackpool.

We do lists with my kids and it seems to work very nicely thank you

I bought my missus a fridge for Christmas last year.

You should've seen her little face light up when she opened it.

I was once bought a universal remote control.
All of my remotes were fully functional.Pah.

I was once bought a universal remote control.

I thought, this changes everything!

I got an A4 document shredder one year off my parents. I think I was at uni. The sad thing was I already had one. I couldn't hide my disappointment. I left it when I went away after Christmas and they still use it to this day.

The first Christmas present I opened last year was a penknife- which I then used to cut open all my other presents.

Shame about the puppy...

A friend of mine was asked by his parents what he wanted and being a kind and generous sort of guy who didn't need anything he asked them for a charity goat. You know the thing where you donate to charity and they buy a goat for an African family.

I'm not sure if they misunderstood, or just didn't listen properly, but you know what's coming...

My mate lived in a third floor flat.

Thinking about it I never did find out what happened to the goat. I must ask him next time I see him

Properly LOL!!!!!!

My mum used to get me a bag of crap she bought from B and M Bargains in Southport. It was lovingly known as "Santas sack of sh**"
We didn't get on... 😕

All year my mother had been going on and on about how she didn't have a decent tin opener and the one thing she really wanted for Christmas was a decent .....tin opener....and muggins here thought she really meant it.

Oh dear!

An old boss of mine got me a sort of novelty electric dartboard of a naked woman, that if you hit it in the, er, bullseye went "ooh, that hit the spot" in the tones of a bored housewife. Bizarre. I thought it was the work of genius that she'd got me something so brilliantly inappropriate and terrible, she took offence because she really tried to get me something I'd like.

God knows what I got her, I hope she hated it.

How are you lot not single for life!

Some women have very very low standards 😀

I've just got some galvanised steel bins for keeping chicken feed in. Guess what is going to be decorated with a bow and next to the Christmas tree for my wife?
Might put something nice inside though!

My mum's step mum used to give me things that she'd acquired free, such as oven gloves that came free with Yorkshire Tea.
We had an auntie who used to make presents. One year, she gave my mum 3 pairs of nylon home-made pants that only just fitted my 5-year-old sister.
I once got a cheap perfume in a secret Santa that stank of toilet air freshener.

My wifes Aunt always manages to buy the worst presents imaginable for her and her sisters yet seem to get cool stuff for my boys like Transformers. I remember a while back they bought her older sister who was about 23 some leather driving gloves and a matching purse?!

My first christmas present to my now wife when we got together twenty something years ago was a mosquito net. We were off travelling a few days later and she seems to attract the critters in an unnatural way. I thought it was caring and appropriate - she still moans about it to this day. I learnt my lesson and buy genuinely useless shit which seems to go down much better.

Once had a large German sausage, that's gotta be the........

I bought my missus a fridge for Christmas last year.

You should've seen her little face light up when she opened it.

Class

I love the outdoors - beautiful natural places and riding my bikes, walking, climbing, running, camping all that sort of thing, always have.

So my mum bought me a voucher for driving a big 4x4 over some country estate. FFS.

To be fair. I'd struggle to think of something to buy for someone who lived in a yurt.

A vegan in a yurt don't forget!

Solar powered headtorch? 😉

Good call you can be my STW secret Santa this year 😉

I once got a girls watch as a secret Santa present at work. I am a well built pretty hairy male and was about 30 at the time. I assume there was some irony involved but nobody ever admitted it so I still don't understand the joke.

twinw4ll - Member

Once had a large German sausage, that's gotta be the........

..real reason behind your bodybuilding regime?

Good call you can be my STW secret Santa this year

*struggling to find a solar powered oven to bake cakes in*

I love the outdoors - beautiful natural places and riding my bikes, walking, climbing, running, camping all that sort of thing, always have.

So my mum bought me a voucher for driving a big 4x4 over some country estate. FFS.

To be fair, I can see where she was going with that. Misfire perhaps but certainly thoughtful.

I'm into all those things, not particularly into cars, no way I'd own a 4x4, yet I've really enjoyed the off road driving I've done and would be quite happy with that sort of voucher, so it definitely doesn't seem that off to me.

My missus got some lovely ratchet spanners....

She to be fair did say they looked a good idea when we were in Halfords in October.

She'll be loosening some nuts I reckon...

I love getting tools as presents but

black and decker electric tape measure from my mum

I was once given a cheap tape measure with a digital voice recorder in it. I think it worked 3 times then fell apart after a few uses as an actual measuring device.

I once got a GoPro type helmet cam from my brother in law. Thing is, he traveled lots with work and this was the most insultingly crap knock off from Hong Kong or the like .

He clearly thought I wouldn't know that he hadn't bought a £200 piece of kit but a £2 piece of shit.

My Dad and Step Mum must have forgot me (large complicated family) when I was 16 and hastily wrapped up some old books from their bookshelves, dog eared and dusty. Books I had read before, those actual books! While my siblings got normal decent stuff. Bastards.

A house, sort of.

sselgruntfuttock - Member

To be fair. I'd struggle to think of something to buy for someone who lived in a yurt.

A vegan in a yurt don't forget!

Solar powered headtorch?

Some knitting needles for your yogurt?

A few years back I was having a really rotten time at work, working on some miserable kids games published by Microsoft Games Studios, who were thoroughly wretched to work for. I hinted as strongly as I thought I could that I really did not want a Kinect for Christmas. I hated everything about it and it reminded me of so many moments I would rather forget.

My now wife very generously got me a Kinect. It still makes me frustrated and angry thinking about it.

I think when I was 7 I got a bike....my own bike which I had had for years and had been my sister's before that. My parents had taken it to the bike shop and had it repaired. That was my main present.
A couple of years ago my mother bought me Michael Crawford's autobiography. " You used to like Frank Spencer!" She said, by way of explanation.

In defense of a lot of these bad presents, some people (OK, me) are astonishingly difficult to buy for.

When I want something, I tend to buy it. The things I want but don't have tend to be obscure and difficult to get hold of, expensive or things I don't actually want that much really. This means buying presents for me is a bloody nightmare.

I've got some terrible presents over the years but I know that it's partly my own fault!

some people (OK, me) are astonishingly difficult to buy for. When I want something, I tend to buy it....

...This means buying presents for me is a bloody nightmare.

This means buying presents for me is a bloody nightmare.

I've got some terrible presents over the years but I know that it's partly my own fault!

would a slow cooker make it onto this list? thinking of buying one for he mrs...

FWIW I like my slow cooker but , unless asked for, its not really an Xmas present

well just bought one anyway, may as well wrap it up...

My mum bought me a book a few years ago, on bike maintenance it was published in 1991! It had a banner on the front which said "now includes Mountain Bikes"

well just bought one anyway, may as well wrap it up...

Get a slow cooker recipe book and a basket full of some of her favourite ingredients too - it shows you actually thought a bit more about it (well, I did for you 😉 ).

I once got a schoolbag. I can still remember my mum calling my Dad through from the kitchen 'Brian we've got tears'

Get a slow cooker recipe book and a basket full of some of her favourite ingredients too - it shows you actually thought a bit more about it (well, I did for you ).

like it!

a couple of years ago my mum gave me the kind of scarf that an air hostess might wear round her neck. She's known me for 40-odd years and hadn't realised that it wouldn't go with my usual jeans and tshirts!