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Well ok, that's my GP's definition of [b]clinical[/b] depression which I thought fairly accurate. Maybe you know better
See that bit in bold? That's the keyword.
I am not sleeping with her.... if she likes mountain bikers then there is a fair chance he's on here!
"If you love her, tell her.
But only if you do love her."
I think that's one of the best pieces of advice written on this thread.
Hopefully it's reciprocated. My relationship is faaaar from perfect,so I don't feel in a position to give advice myself unfortunately. Best of luck though.
OP sounds like midlife crisis... dont take it lightly.. could lead to having an affair or going mental. Face the music, life is short.
Goodluck to you.
Paranoia or the known thing that happens?
OP clearly its something you really need to tackle head on, it must be an awful situation (sadly I did something similar to my wife a number of years ago - whilst it still makes me angry that I treated her that way I was a bit lost and had other people blowing smoke up my arse and I turned into a right w@nker!).
I went quiet, avoided eye contact, all sorts of things. Whilst the exact details are irrelevant and I'm not going to start making assumptions what could be going on I would highly recommend getting some counselling.
Individually or together or both but I was highly sceptical but gave it a go and it really opened my eyes to a few things, mainly about my failings that I really wasn't aware of.
Children rightly or wrongly can make things much harder but you need to make sure you are happy too.
I've not read all the replies so sorry if I repeated anything said above but I wish you all the best - positive thoughts buddy!
Great advice.
hora - Member
Paranoia or the known thing that happens?
If you don't trust your Mrs working late or staying at a mates I'd say you have no hope either way...
Hi, sound like you are goign to get some very bad new at some point in the future from her.
all I can suggest is look up "divorcebusting" - and the 37 rules.
I am not suggesting it lightly as a very similar things has happened to me.
I'd also look within yourself for any of your major flaws/her grips and immediately address these - do not try to become a super husband etc.
she has issues only she can address - tough times ahead I'm afraid
(sorry to break it this way but I wish I'd known then what I know now)
Both of you go to relationship counselling.
If you don't trust your Mrs working late or staying at a mates I'd say you have no hope either way...
It's not so much about trusting her or not at this stage, it's about being smart, clued up, and aware of the possible warning signs of an affair. Constantly checking these things would be paranoia in a normal relationship, but as the OPs relationship has passed that point and is not going well, I think he now needs to go into this as switched on as possible.
Plus sounds like counselling is maybe not the right way at this stage, he needs to talk to her before that and at least attempt to sort it out first. It takes two to make counciling work, his missus might be completely against the idea and trying to force this on her might not do much help. Only the OP will know this.
+1 agent007
Drac, I stand patronised.
OP, for what it's worth here's my tuppenn'orth. It strikes me your wife started withdrawing soon after you were trying for another baby. Could it be that she may have picked up on your less than total commitment to another child, initially tried to get over it but really she wanted a baby more than you and has been feeling this ever since? She feels you want different things, you just want boats and stuff etc could just be how this rift has polarised in her mind. Whatever the cause of your disconnection I hope you can sort it out and get back on track, you seem to care for her a lot
Agent007 and hora
Sometimes it helps to have someone impartial to open up in front of.
So whilst I agree they should initially discuss together it isn't always possible.
In the end we all have our opinions - good luck OP.
Shame the OP hasn't been back to respond; hope he hasn't been deactivated for dual logins. Sometimes a bit of discretion is in order. Would be really interested in how this progresses. Sorry to admit it but an affair (possibly emotional rather than physical) was my immediate thought too. It seems that the female in question no longer goes to the OP for The stuff that people who love each other do. Sadly. As has been said, OP should hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
Hope he's okay. Been there, it's shit.
hope he hasn't been deactivated for dual logins.
If he has, I haven't done it. In a case like this I'd turn a blind eye to until the thread's run its course and then probably block it. I'd consider someone's marriage to be worth making an exception to the rules for.
EDIT: just checked and looks to be active still.
Shame the OP hasn't been back to respond
He's been busy laying a lovely new patio.
In a case like this I'd turn a blind eye
As has been done numerous times over the years, and rightly so. Obedience of fools, guidance of wise men and all that...