Work "mates", Christmas and all that bollox

Ok you miserable beggers

Here is a picture of me as Santa in a hospital spreading good cheer on christmas morning   " Ho bloody Ho.  Here is your effing pressie now sod off"

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It’s a melting pot: 2 scotsmen, an English guy, an American, a Belgian and a German

2 scotsmen, an English guy, an American, a Belgian and a German walk into a bar. The barman says, "is this some sort of joke?"

i am meeting my ex work mates on mad friday in Leeds for a go pi55 up. looking forward to it.
the pubs we go in are generally quiet and devoid of any young bucks getting rowdy.

Just had the "dissatisfied" with attendance or lack of email.
Only 3 out of a team of 30 went it's to be continued apparently.

2 scotsmen, an English guy, an American, a Belgian and a German walk into a bar. What a marvelous example of multicultural integration

Just had the “dissatisfied” with attendance or lack of email.
Only 3 out of a team of 30 went it’s to be continued apparently.

It was a work do that only 10% of the team went to?

And management is upset at this lack of team spirit and is looking to discipline the team for this lack of esprit de corps?

Time to start looking for a new job, I reckon.

I don't think they get the irony tbh it made me giggle.

The beatings will continue until morale improves!

I used to enjoy works nights out. Being older and married I went to the pub drinks and left when the younger guys went on elsewhere.

Not compulsory though. Some people went and others didn't. No problem either way.

I went to the pub drinks and left when the younger guys went on elsewhere.

that's me nowadays. Our night out was the last Friday in November in Manchester. Cocktails at 3pm, Dishoom for the meal, then onto Freight Island. I managed one beer in Freight Island but I was so stuffed after dinner so jumped in a taxi. Was tucked up in bed for 11pm. The young uns were at the bar until 2pm. Everyone was happy

that’s me nowadays.

Ditto. A big night out results in a two day hangover these days, so I either have an early night or stick to weak beer. The joy of ageing!

Was tucked up in bed for 11pm. The young uns were at the bar until 2pm.

oof. Been a long while since I could crack on until lunchtime the next day

Ours were tolerable, usual drink fuelled antics. 1 newly formed couple got sacked for getting a bit too intimate on company premises. They were both married to other people, instant dismissal, had to go home and tell their partners no more job, and no more partner probably.

Oooooph that was harsh, the normal punishement is some ribbing at work! (Unless they broke the photocopier of couse) 😀

I avoid it - for years it has clashed with parenting (single parent), so was quite happy to miss it. I spend enough time with my colleagues that I'm pretty sure they won't miss my awful chat. I'm more anti-social/reclusive these days and don't really see the appeal of spending more time with work colleagues. However, for the budget people, I say I'm attending, but let the organisers know I'm not so the budget that would be spent on my place can be used for more entertainment for those who do attend (I find it mildly amusing that the office sets a limit of cost per head for the Christmas party and it is assigned to everyone, but if you don't attend you don't see it, so I make sure it is put in the pot for others).
I'm a very boring person with limited chat so me not being there works best for everyone. I do think they are great things though and I'd complain if they were stopped.

the normal punishement is some ribbing at work!

That's what got them into trouble in the first place.

More seriously,

Is that a valid cause for instant dismissal? I guess the devil is in the detail.

Is that a valid cause for instant dismissal? I guess the devil is in the detail.

I assumed that by saying 'getting a bit too intimate on company premises' he meant having sex. Says nothing in our company handbook about having sex on company premises, Xmas party or not, but I assume it wouldn't be looked on too kindly. But if it was away from people, in a back room or whatever, then no harm is done. If everybody knew what was going on but didn't witness it then it would be the same as the pair having sex in a pub toilet at a Xmas party. However, if it was on a chair in the main office in full view of the MD, that might be treated differently. 😀 I'm musing out loud here, as you might tell...

I did hear a tale of a works Christmas party in the office during the era of photocopying body parts. Apparently a chap hopped up onto it, the glass shattered and a piece nicked his ring... cue ample amounts of blood everywhere.

Not sacked, but he unsurprisingly left shortly after.

And the one thing worse than going to your works Christmas do is going to someone else's Christmas do.

And the one thing worse than going to your works Christmas do is going to someone else’s Christmas do.

Dunno, went to one here the year before Covid - out on one of the main university campuses, free bar, wasn't my company so not too concerned about throwing up on the MD, had quite a good time 🙂

the glass shattered and a piece nicked his ring… Not sacked,

Lucky escape really.

Haven't been on a Christmas night out since 2019. They were all at my old job and involved drinking from around 11am until around 3-4am the next morning. There were frequently other substances involved.

I work remotely at the new job so on Friday I'll be going to our work night out in Lincoln. First one the company has done since 2019 as well. I've already seen the "food" menu so me and a few others are going for a curry first. I expect compared to previous experiences this one will be a lot more sedate.

I’m usually in the “it’s too far away” camp but this year I have an even better excuse: our works xmas do is somewhere near Doncaster on a night when Fields Of The Nephilim play in Manchester

Manchester here I come

on a night when Fields Of The Nephilim play in Manchester

Long time since I last saw them play - '91 in Aston IIRC

We have a office Xmas social this year but I am going to hoover up all the food, crisps and some cakes, like a cookie monster. Some colleagues I can't be arsed to engage with especially the energy vampires, but this year I shall attempt to have a good laugh with those that are more relax.

Self employed but the builders I subby to used to have one every year that I went to, Not gonna turn down free beer! Used to bail out early on before it got messy, lots of young uns/lad types, alpha male types, ample alcohol and whatever marching powder they'd brought meant something always kicked off later on. Not been on one since lockdown though TBH

I seem to have missed* the Xmas party, secret Santa and jumper day, oh dear, what a shame.

*I was still at work, just working

Every year… can we just copy and paste the thread from last year ?

Every WEEK, there's a "Shimano brake bleed" thread of some description...😉

I hear Sodastream are looking to offer a Shimano bleed solution...apparently it'll offer more evenly distributed bubbles! 😉

It’s our do on Thursday and I’ve been looking forward to it. Unfortunately I feel like battered shite and if I don’t improve I might have to give it a miss. I genuinely like people overall too. There’s always a few dickheads wherever you work and I’ll be somebody else’s dickhead.

Don’t think I’ve ever worked anywhere that you’re expected to attend. That would be really weird. Is it genuinely a thing or are some of you just being a bit dramatic?

Every WEEK, there’s a “Shimano brake bleed” thread of some description…😉

Dunno what your're on about, but then, I have SRAM brakes 😉

I used to enjoy the Christmas bashes when at work. Just a "Pot de fin d'année" which took place on site then most people staggered to their cars and drove home - I usually hitched home but one cold trafic-free night walked about 12 of the 33km home before Madame came out to rescue me - I reckon it would have only taken me another 4 1/2 hrs to walk the rest.

I have nothing but admiration for the boss who inflicts Don't Look Back in Anger on his colleagues every year - a perfect end to the corporate year song. It's a bit like Green Day's Good Riddance at a leaving party with the ambiguity of who is glad to be rid of whom.

Edit: why is it that Other people's vids work enmbedded but not mine? 🙁

Obviously it's in the original key there but down tuning the guitar to E flat makes it much more mellow.

@johndrummer, neph in manchester doing the nephilim album.... will be hard to tell if its flour power or old people's talc.

I will be one of the bald, beardie tattooed gits wondering why im now an old fker and not a 19year old voodoo sex god anymore 🙂

I will be one of the shaven faced, untattooed old gits with grey spiky hair and an FOTN t-shirt and/or hoodie.

Narrows it down a bit, eh?

As always, if you’re too miserable to have one night with your colleagues, you’re the problem not them 😉

Your working day must be absolutely miserable if you’re working alongside people you have zero interest in having a pint/ soft drink/ meal with them at Christmas.

I work closely with two people. The others who do the same job as me are on the opposite shift, so I never see them. There are only a small number of people at work who I know well, and I live at least fifteen miles from work, and from where most of them live. In order to socialise at all, it means I’d have to hang around after work while everyone else sorts themselves out, because I finish work at 6.30pm after a 12-hour day.
Perhaps others are OK with getting home to an empty house at somewhere after 11pm, looking forward to getting up at 5.00am, but I, most definitely, am not.

This is why I don’t go to the work Christmas do, nothing to do with not liking the people I work with, just living a half-hour drive away and long hours. This year, I wasn’t working, but I’m not driving thirty-odd miles there and back .

As it stands, Christmas is, for me, a truly miserable time of year, I get no pleasure from it, so there’s also no point in bringing everyone else down because I’m in a very low state of mind.

As a freelancer in usually present at three or four parties around Christmas for the various companies I've work for over the years.

Varies from a small, simple get together with beers in the workshop, a private gathering somewhere in town or a three day party in a hut somewhere in the alps.

Fortunately I quite like most of the guys I work alongside. Remember one of our crew saying that he needed to come to work otherwise he wouldn't get to see his mates... Resonated with me a little.

One company I do a lot of work for are (in)famous for their parties.... Known as the anti-Christmas party as they generally take place sometime in the new year. Only rules are no cameras, no women, well, no partners and you're expected to cancel any plans for the following day(s).

Memorable ones are... the party bus.... An eight hour tour around the lakes south of Munich on a bendy bus during a snow storm, a shed load of substances, disco lights, a dance pole, a dj.

Mexico evening... Fancy dress, ponchos, silly hats and fake moustaches galore. Converted the workshop and had a load of random games based around either drinking or shooting arrows at things, followed by a meal at an acquaintance's restaurant... Only it wasn't a closed event and I think that many of the locals still talk about that evening even though it was four years ago.

Most recent one was three days in the Bavarian Forest. Private coach there. Closed to the general public. Debauched walks through the countryside with various "missions" throughout the day.

As always, if you’re too miserable to have one night with your colleagues, you’re the problem not them 😉

Your working day must be absolutely miserable if you’re working alongside people you have zero interest in having a pint/ soft drink/ meal with them at Christmas.

Ok so I am now retired but at my last workplace there was one person I considered a friend ( and thats the first time in 30 years)

The rest?  A mix of young women and late middleaged women with whom I have nowt in common along with a few very odd guys ( racist rangers fan etc).  I got on well enough with them at work

the last works night out was a weekend away at a hotel where a bunch of them got paralytic drunk.  Its their sort of fun but would be hell for me.

Also its a 24/7 service so if I volunteer to work then no one who wants to go misses out.  Why the flip should I got out with folk I have nowt in common with to eat crap food in a crap hotel and get so drunk that people get injured?

Good for you if you have colleagues you socialise with.  Some of us like to keep home and work totally separate.  I find the attitude expressed in the quote rather sad.  MY life is full of folk I want to spend time with.  Its too precious to be wasted on folk I have nowt in common with

What about those of us who do ignore the whole thing?

Then…

Ok you miserable beggers

Here is a picture of me as Santa in a hospital spreading good cheer on christmas morning ” Ho bloody Ho.

Hmmmmm……😜😜

Some of us are not really social animals.

I ‘suffer’ from social anxiety and have food issues. I was vegetarian for 15 years (in the 80’s & 90’s) when veggie meant a ham salad or quiche… I was always a problem. I don’t really enjoy meat and avoid in the most part sticking to (Mainly) chicken… Xmas meals are an anathema to me full of the foods I dislike (pigs in blankets, sprouts, etc). It’s really not fun and I always feel ‘difficult’ when out.

I have difficulty hearing words when there are multiple conversations at the same table, so find it difficult to even attempt to join in… So I spend most of my time hating the food, not wanting to be awkward and thinking ‘how long before I can leave without making it obvious?’ And generally hating the experience.

I also dislike the over consumption, esp of alcohol. I like a beer (preferably German or Central European), (spanish/Portuguese) red wine and Islay whisky. But in moderation. And I avoid drunken arseholes as a rule.

As for secret santa I’ve seen plastic tat exchanged and never leave the pub (so just a sheer waste and adding to pollution). My work involves heading to Net Zero, and this kind of shit just boils my piss.

So, I figure I’m not bringing anything to the table and it’s better for everyone else I don’t show.

Having worked for local authorities for knocking 14 years now you have to pay your way and book a flexi or a holiday for the meal… so, er, really, no thanks.

I have made some really good mates with people at work (I’ve shared tents and hotel rooms on climbing trips with work colleagues) and gone to the pub (and even enjoyed it!). But Xmas is just the epitome of what is ****ing wrong with the world for me 🤔🤪

Also, I have a big white beard (and matching hair)… yeah, you know you are the very first person ever to make that santa joke. No really…

And, in the past when folks have talked about a festive meal/night out my suggestion of going back to the original and traditional ways (ritual fire and blood sacrifice) this has been met with outright hostility (hey, I said if they didn’t want to give me their firstborn I’d make do with a goat). Miserable ****ers!

But Xmas is just the epitome of what is **** wrong with the world for me 🤔🤪

Been thinking a bit about this lately. For me, this time of year is just shit. I haven't been out in direct sunlight for at least a month and I probably won't be for another month. It's cold, especially if you are trying to conserve electricity, and it just feels like there is very little to do.

A bit of over-consumption is understandable at this time of year, which is probably why people started having celebrations in the middle of winter. It would be pretty desperate without anything to look forward to.

However, as a society we are pretty much over-consuming all the time anyway. So the answer seems to be to consume even more and start doing it earlier and earlier.

I have no idea what the answer is. Maybe we should start actively avoiding anything but absolutely necessary consumption and save up throughout the year to really go ****ing nuts in December.

Yeah, probably not.

Anyway, I went to a work Xmas party for the first time in 10 years. It was OK. Free booze to start with and then very overpriced after the meal. Entertainment that ranged from mildly OK to terrible.

Decided one particular co-worker is definitely a **** (I wasn't 100% sure before). Had some only slightly awkward conversations with the rest.

I've done it but I can't see myself going to another one unless the whole night is paid for and I can get properly shit-faced.

I really like who I work with now, the "Christmas do" is an unofficial meet in a pub. Starts art 4pm though so expect to back in hotel room stuffing junk food by 9.

The more official department "party" is the day before though turn out is not expected to be good as a lot of international staff will have gone abroad to see families.

We have a quiz in the office at 12pm and then a sit-down meal somewhere nearby...after that it's usually 3pmish and people are free to either stay out drinking or go home as they please.

I feel like this is the right way to do it as nobody has to travel anywhere they don't usually go to to get to the office anyway and the only people who stay out drinking are the ones who actually want to be there, no pressure on anyone else.

I like my colleagues so it's all good but I could imagine probably resenting any kind of forced corporate days out. I mean, I quite like getting smashed if I'm honest but much less so if it's some sort of obligation.

I ‘suffer’ from social anxiety and have food issues. I was vegetarian for 15 years (in the 80’s & 90’s) when veggie meant a ham salad or quiche… I was always a problem. I don’t really enjoy meat and avoid in the most part sticking to (Mainly) chicken… Xmas meals are an anathema to me full of the foods I dislike (pigs in blankets, sprouts, etc). It’s really not fun and I always feel ‘difficult’ when out.

For what it's worth, you aren't alone.

The social thing I deal with by being bloody-minded enough to view it as a challenge to be tackled. Like, I went out to meet a few from STW earlier this week and honestly, it was difficult. But I did it, I got out of the house, I put my game face on and I had a great night.

The food thing is probably way off-topic so I'll not dwell on it, but it's one of the driving reasons for me being veggie. If someone arranges an event around food I'll pour over the menu and in a lot of cases will likely have "eaten before I came out" by the time I get there. Maybe push a sad little bowl of chips about. The STW meet had pizza (it looked like top-notch pizza at that) but I'm allergic to cheese and have little desire to entertain "vegan cheese" so I didn't partake. They alternative would be having to face an awkward conversation around the possibility of getting a pizza without cheese whilst dying of embarrassment. On a Christmas dinner I find myself having to have bizarre discussions about whether potatoes are vegetarian. I am painfully aware that it is my problem and it's an inconvenience for everyone else which I try to minimise wherever possible; if my friends want to go out to a steakhouse then I'll go to a steakhouse, maybe they'll have a tomato soup or something #stressworryfret

OK, that was overlong after all. Point was, I can sympathise.

Our work culture needs a bit of work, so I'm getting involved, but not overly encouraging others to do so. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.

Point was, I can sympathise.

I suspect the root cause is probably similar… (non-NT).

Some people think is its just being awkward and ‘get over yourself’. This is ‘just life’ for me 🤪

They alternative would be having to face an awkward conversation around the possibility of getting a pizza without cheese whilst dying of embarrassment.

I know this is just a detail, but have another look one of these days - cheese doesn't like me either, but over the last few years I've seen a lot more pizzas that are 'designed' without cheese. Pizza Hut might not be the place, but I'll bet your local Rustic Craft Ale and Sourdough Pizza Served By Chefs With Sleeve Tattoos Emporium will have a couple of cheese free options on the menu. I had one at my Xmas do on Friday, as it happens. (because yeah, vegan cheese is not worth the paper it's printed on)

I suspect the root cause is probably similar… (non-NT).

Some people think is its just being awkward and ‘get over yourself’. This is ‘just life’ for me

It might still be possible to change though! Depends what exactly you're referring to. We've discussed this on here before, but MrsDoris has had fairly severe food avoidance issues and leans somewhat ASD. She has made significant progress in her 40's through a combination of counselling and me trying to be as helpful and supportive as I can. It's relative, of course, I doubt she'll ever try mayonnaise, and there are still plenty of Definite No's. But it's been enough to make 'going out for a meal' a much less stressful experience. So don't write yourself off altogether!

Wow. Here's a photo from a 1979 Christmas office do that I'd never have imagined existing in a million years.

The guy in the middle is the assistant disablement resettlement officer at Macclesfield job centre. Not his best known role......