Work "mates", Christmas and all that bollox

I like my workmates, and I'm looking forward to our xmas meal on Friday. And I'm over twice the age of some of them.

I don’t enjoy socialising either. For me this was a unique opportunity to meet 40 or so colleagues outside of my immediate work colleagues I hadn’t met before. I’m glad I did, because it showed me the local company was far less the corporate than I thought it was.

Being 50 and in a senior position I had a couple of drinks then left graciously when it started to look like it’d get messy.

I opted out of Secret Santa. Fight The System!!

If I dp go its only to a meal

I never drink then make a swift exit when the meal has finished and all the kids are heading to the bar

Every year... can we just copy and paste the thread from last year ?

Every year… can we just copy and paste the thread from last year ?

Literally what I was going say.

Don't go if you don't want. I'm not this year, not because I'm a miserable bastard though, but they haven't asked for a reason. I just declined the invite.

The joys of self-employment means none of this nonsense for me.

Anyway, who wants to go out at this time of year anyway? When all your usual favourite haunts are full of amateur drinkers and miserable bastards being forced into pretending they’re enjoying themselves? 😂

I bought a tasteless item for secret Santa least year but recipient left so I gave it to someone else this year, also offloaded an item that didn't fit and I hadn't bothered to return for refund. Result!

Our team genuinely get on, I'd happily go for a pint with them all. Work is paying for a Christmas meal out, I'm buying the drinks.
All is good.

I went to mine last week, we're all remote so it's a good opportunity to talk to people on something other than teams.

Don’t go if you don’t want.

This, I’m certainly not. I commute by rail so it’s a double “no thanks” this year.

Ah, the annual misanthropes' thread.

I'm lucky enough to like my workmates, and infact we all went out for dinner just a couple of weeks ago, but for Christmas?

Not a Christian so don't really see the point of going out in the cold when everything is rammed and more expensive. Seems like masochism to me.

Oh great. We can add the Christmas predates Christ stuff in this thread too. That saves another annual repeat.

I declined this year too - for me it's the expectation to "get pissed". Taxi would be about £40, so you have to get the train - last train is around 10:30 - and station 5 miles from home. Great night out! Nah, can't be arsed with it. Not cos I don't like em, I don't really know em (we all work in different buildings). TBH I'd rather stay in and get pissed on me own. Bit sad really 😆
See also [url= https://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/seasonal-mental-health-thread/ ]here[/url]

Yeh I used to hate it and just went for a meal with a select group of work mates usually, but now I'm not working and a lonely house elf I'd quite like to do something (gets his tiny fiddle out 😂)

Ah, the annual misanthropes’ thread.

No, the annual 'people with a different attitude to the norm' thread. This is what I hate about Christmas and why I think it's such a difficult time for a lot of people. There is so much pressure to join in with the societal expectations of excess and jolliness and if this doesn't fit you or your circumstances then you're seen as a scrooge or a grinch - no I'm just looking after my own wellbeing.

This is what my works do might look like as a self-employed operative.

Nah, the PE Dept always get pissed and start trouble (I wish I was joking!)
I'm too old to be chaperoning 30/40-something year old idiots who like to drink and argue.

This is what my works do might look like as a self-employed operative.

That I get

Op you will be visited by 3 ghosts, expect the first at the stroke of midnight.

I’m not this year, not because I’m a miserable bastard though, but they haven’t asked for a reason. I just declined the invite.

You need to move offices, ours is clearly the best you wouldn't want to decline.

If it’s done tastefully with a decent budget I’m there. If it’s the usual oversized room with pre prepped pub style
microwave meal, cheap wine and a bad DJ then I’m out after shaking a few hands before it kicks off. Will organise a pint + nice pub meal with direct team to make up for absence.

Anyone remember in the 80s / 90’s when big CO’s used to let you bring kids, put on a mini show, had food then sent families / engineers home at a reasonable time, leaving the sales team to drink the open bar dry. I think it’s sad so many co’s these days don’t seem to be inclusive for those with families.

Free flowing ales and wines, mountains of brown food, creating a closely guarded clique of the people you actually get on with, what's not to like?

🙂

I've only seen the work guys once in the last 2 years, apart from my senior manager who i ride with on non-race weekends. So we're off to Miller and Carter for a bit of food, then a couple of pints, should be home by 8pm i guess 🙂

Well, we are out at 12... so not exactly a short one.... but 3-4 pints as up early on Sat.

As always, if you're too miserable to have one night with your colleagues, you're the problem, not them 😉

Your working day must be absolutely miserable if you're working alongside people you have zero interest in having a pint/ soft drink/ meal with them at Christmas.

Geography/travel challenges or child care issues are the only genuine excuse

I'm lucky, the team I work in is spread internationally so makes a Xmas night out a bit of an issue, also, you know, IT, we don't fair well in social situations

On the other hand the wife gets forced every year to go to the company shindig, which she hates more than Piers Morgan. She says it's a nightmare, THe boss is one of those 50 something guys who thinks life revolves around his party rules. Everyone has to put in 110% to make it something special, and if people try to go home early he goes in the huff. Worst thing is, a guitar comes out at some point because everyone is just so desperate to hear him belt out "Don't Look Back In Anger" again

As always, if you’re too miserable to have one night with your colleagues, you’re the problem not them 😉

Your working day must be absolutely miserable if you’re working alongside people you have zero interest in having a pint/ soft drink/ meal with them at Christmas.

Or conversely:  Your life must be terribly dull if the only people you have to go out with are colleagues.  I enjoyed working with most of the folk I worked with but the end of the working day is just that.  Time to leave.  Work is work and my home life is my home life and I never mixed the two

If you wouldn't go out with them at other times of the year why would you at this time of year?

I personally had nothing but work in common with the folk I worked with.

Your working day must be absolutely miserable if you’re working alongside people you have zero interest in having a pint/ soft drink/ meal with them at Christmas.

I dont think of them as actual people...

Being a northerner who's work colleagues are in London means the logistics are a real barrier. Although it's no great hardship to skip it, it is a shame as i like most of em.

I like my workmates, and I’m looking forward to our xmas meal on Friday.

+1

Quite looking forward to our xmas dinner tomorrow night, be nice to see everyone (we all work from home).

Worst thing is, a guitar comes out at some point because everyone is just so desperate to hear him belt out “Don’t Look Back In Anger” again

Is that for real? Dear god! 😳

Darthpunk - why on earth does she go then?  I assume its out of worktime and not paid?

We get nothing from our company 70'000 employees sound's similar to shitey.
Empty promises and platitudes aplenty though.
Merry Xmas

(gets his tiny fiddle out 😂)

Detail too far

There is so much pressure to join in with the societal expectations of excess and jolliness

I reckon this exists if you let it exist...

I was lucky that out of the 20 people on our site there was only 1 that I didn't gel with. The site is closed now and we are all mostly in touch via a WhatsApp group & have all been out in various forms for meals etc.

We always were a close knit team & it worked. I have worked at some places though where you would happily push them off a cliff so I guess the team you work with makes a huge difference.

I'm about to go out for breakfast with our old production manager, just social chat stuff 🙂

We get a decent budget and I took the opportunity to enjoy dinner with a few former colleagues. In the US they all go for a prearranged lunch as a large group. I prefer more intimate.

When I had a group, I took them to Helene Darozze (two Michelin stars) for Christmas lunch. It was not quite in budget but I made up some of the difference with a bonus I’d received. They still talk about it. Set lunches can be very good value and you can spend three hours relaxing. Evening events are more expensive and have an expectations of merriment.

The joy of being 95% remote these days means no pressure to come to these things. When I used to manage alot of people I would stress every year about organising it and trying to ensure everyone had a great time, organising all sorts of stuff. And then there was the expectation to put your hand in your pocket and buy drinks (for 70+ people that adds up) when the company doesn't recompense and some of them are actually earning more than you....

Then I was made redundant / slotted into a specialist role. Now no team to speak of, everyone I work with is effectively a client. Nice people but a different type of relationship to a team of people working on something together

I don't miss it tbh. Money is tight and I'd rather spend it on my kids these days

Does that make me a scrooge too?

also, you know, IT, we don’t fair well in social situations

Eh? I'll bear that in mind on Friday and tell everyone to stop chatting and stare at the wall in silence, what with us all working in IT.

You need to move offices, ours is clearly the best you wouldn’t want to decline.

😀 Unfortunatley its the same night as my wifes so, bloody kids n stuff....and she got in there first!

Althought they've gone a bit leftfield this year and i'm not sure I'm really up for beer pong and pizza for a christmas do anyway. I've been off the booze for a while so I reckon I'd only embarrass myself....

Never worked anywhere that had a Christmas party. Last 25 years I have been working in social care where generally if you're not on duty that night you will be the next morning. Prior to that my wife and I ran a youth hostel which was busy at Christmas and 20 miles away from the next one.

If you wouldn’t go out with them at other times of the year why would you at this time of year?

I personally had nothing but work in common with the folk I worked with

I've long suspected your former colleagues were happier with your retirement than you were, and I think this may be the definitive proof 😂

I'm going to have to miss mine this year - had Covid recently and don't want to give anyone a miserable Covid Christmas present.

I like most of my work colleagues.

Our ‘works do’ is this Friday, which clashes with my wife’s family do where her mad brothers will be. Obviously I can’t be expected to go to the works do can I?
I much rather would.

Ours are fairly low key - massive local employer with big teams - University - so we all pay for ourselves. Our Department Doo got cancelled due to train strikes, so this changed to just drinks in the Uni owned pub. The senior managers put some of their own cash behind the bar, so it was a cheap doo - I left before 9 just as it was going to get messy with the youngsters and I needed a train home.

Got another doo with a few colleagues and ex-colleagues - we all started together 15 years ago, and one left/two retired, so we always meet up at Christmas for a meal. It doesn't get too messy, but three of us like the red wine ! We do start early afternoon with a meal, and then it's home around rush hour - going to be tricky as it's this Thursday so I'm expecting train issues. I can always get the infamous 192 from Manchester to Stockport, then another bus/walk home (good hours walk).

Hate current job and am at best ambivalent about workmates, so it's a no from me.

Do however meet up every xmas with colleagues from a place I worked in over 20 years ago. So I'm not anti Christmas do per se. Just Xmas in this dump.

No, the annual ‘people with a different attitude to the norm’ thread. This is what I hate about Christmas and why I think it’s such a difficult time for a lot of people. There is so much pressure to join in with the societal expectations of excess and jolliness and if this doesn’t fit you or your circumstances then you’re seen as a scrooge or a grinch – no I’m just looking after my own wellbeing.

Go or don't go. No-one cares very much and there's absolutely no need to whine about it here.

Our Christmas shindig was a morning of mince pies and drinks, then a secret Santa, then off to a restaurant for 3 courses and all the booze you can drink. All paid for by the company. Then if you fancied it, it was off to a bar for more drinks.

I'm not a huge fan of these types of social occasions but they're a nice, friendly, diverse bunch and are generally pretty easy company (no miserable, moaning sods), so I was looking forward to it.

I came down with flu and had to miss it  🙁

Obviously some people care enough to criticise those that don’t do Xmas.

Really looking forward to mine this year (Thai restaurant, then a free bar for the night), company seems to love putting staff social events on (normally 1 a month) and the couple I’ve been to so far have been ace. I may even have partaken in some alcohol…

Haven’t met anyone there I haven’t got on with either, despite being older than 80% of the 2100 staff.

Ignore Ransos Op. 😋 whining on here gives lots of others the chance to moan and provide a vehicle for attempts at humour, whine away.
I've come to work in a nice shirt today as we're out for a Christmas meal and drinks straight after work. It's at a Toby Carvery, a venue which clearly requires a posh shirt! 😄

Obviously some people care enough to criticise those that don’t do Xmas.

Have you read the thread title?

Yes. I was wondering if Ransos had.

Yes. I was wondering if Ransos had.

Yes I have, thank you. We have the same thread every year: it seems that it's never enough for people to politely decline an invitation, instead they have to make sure that everyone knows about it.

Why not just ignore the whole thread then? It was obvious what it was going to be about from the title.

instead they have to make sure that everyone knows about it.

Isn't that the point of a chat section?
If you know It's mentioned every year why do you respond?

Anyway. Our prison works do ended up being frowned upon by management after the pub crawl in Wetherby (don't laugh) turned into mayhem & a number of prison staff got arrested.

had a lovely Xmas do on Friday. Work gave us £20 a head. Seven of us went for a pint, then a pizza, then another pint (had to chip in a couple of quid of our own). Met a couple of new starters from this year that I hadn't spoken to before. Bus home, back by 10.30pm. Can't complain.

Except that I might have picked up a cold along the way...

We have the same thread every year: it seems that it’s never enough for people to politely decline an invitation, instead they have to make sure that everyone knows about it.

Wait til we get the thread from the brave martyrs who soldier through until 00:00:01 on boxing day before taking their tree down, after putting it up as early as 24 Dec, just for the sake of the wife/kids/inlaws/dog. You know it's coming

Why not just ignore the whole thread then? It was obvious what it was going to be about from the title.

I was giving my point of view. As someone else just said, isn't that the point of the chat section?

Two Christmas parties this week. The official one during work time with a free meal and booze then an early finish, then the unofficial one on Friday evening. Both of them should be good.

The only pressure you feel to do things is in your own head. No one cares what you do, everyone is too busy doing their own thing.

When I had a group, I took them to Helene Darozze (two Michelin stars)

Two? Barely above McDonald's 😉

had a lovely Xmas do on Friday. Work gave us £20 a head. Seven of us went for a pint, [s] then a pizza, then another pint[/s]

Seems more plausible these days.

Wait til we get the thread from the brave martyrs who soldier through until 00:00:01 on boxing day before taking their tree down, after putting it up as early as 24 Dec, just for the sake of the wife/kids/inlaws/dog. You know it’s coming

I reckon there's an STW drinking game in the offing...

We used to have a paid xmas meal within work time and it was decent. You were home at a sensible time (well I was) and it didn't cost you anything.

Now we have nothing and it does effort the morale in my opinion. Our team has arranged for a bite to eat and drinks but I won't be staying too long. Partly because of the train strikes and partly as I'll be going out for a long (relatively) ride the following day.

Best to show face and make an early exit than not turn up IMO. Unless of course it's miles away from your house and/or will cost you a fair bit (some don't have much spare money this time of year).

If you "don't do Christmas" Why start/comment/think about a thread on Christmas? Surely that's just brainspace wasted?

I don't "do" a lot of things. Dogs, motorbikes, etc. I waste absolutely no time (yes, I'm aware of the irony here, but I'm trying to make a point) in commenting about my ambivalence and won't click on threads or topics related to them as I don't "do" them.

So is it that you just don't do them, or do you need to talk about why? Do you need to share? Do you actually want company in your not doing something?

Genuinely curious.

Wait til we get the thread from the brave martyrs who soldier through until 00:00:01 on boxing day before taking their tree down, after putting it up as early as 24 Dec, just for the sake of the wife/kids/inlaws/dog. You know it’s coming

What about those of us who do ignore the whole thing?  Not a single decoration in my house for the last 20 odd years.  I won't have a christmas dinner.  I send money to hunger charities instead.

Beat that grinches of STW

Had mine last week. Test it like a dentist appointment for a route canal. It will eventually be over.

who else can’t stand this cajoling to join in shit & enforced socializing?

For me it's the 'enforced' bit that I rail against, that's the point at which it becomes unpaid work. An actual conversation, paraphrased, from a couple of years ago:

Work: "There's a company event, we're booking out a hotel."

Me: "That might be cool, it's rare we get a jolly on expenses and it'll be nice to put faces to names of people I've only ever spoken to on the phone."

Work: "Attendance is mandatory for all staff."

Me: "I'm not going."

What about those of us who do ignore the whole thing? Not a single decoration in my house for the last 20 odd years. I won’t have a christmas dinner. I send money to hunger charities instead.

Beat that grinches of STW

weeelllll..... that sounds like you're doing what you actually want to do, and might even be quite happy with the arrangement.

So, 10/10 for grinchness, but a meagre 1/10 for martyrdom, I'm afraid 😉

Ours were tolerable, usual drink fuelled antics. 1 newly formed couple got sacked for getting a bit too intimate on company premises. They were both married to other people, instant dismissal, had to go home and tell their partners no more job, and no more partner probably.

We've got one of ours the Wednesday before Christmas for the engineering team, a curry and a few beers then last train home. The other one - whole project delivery team including the commercial types - always good for a laugh, said no one ever - has been postponed until Jan 'cos of the sodding train strikes!

Ours has been turned into a 'Team Building' event this time round.

Shame, as I'd have probably gone otherwise; y,know to meet the new members of the team n'all.

Why not just ignore the whole thread then? It was obvious what it was going to be about from the title.

It's interesting because people choose to start threads telling the rest of us that they hate Xmas. There are far fewer threads about enjoying the same period despite the fact that the majority of people on this very thread very obviously enjoy it. It's almost like the grinches love announcing their grinchness, which is exactly the behaviour you'd expect of a grinch.

Miss the morning wakeup being served gunfire, followed by the officer/Seniors vs juniors football/rugby match then the obligatory food fight at the Christmas lunch and then bar until close.

Good times.

Just remembered, I'm actually going on holiday next month with 5 former colleagues. One who reported into me, the other 4 were in different teams. 3 are still with the same employer we were all with, the other 3 are at competitors now.

Started working with them 20 years ago. Wouldn't say I have anything particularly in common with them in terms of hobbies etc, but over the years we all became friendly. It's a melting pot: 2 scotsmen, an English guy, an American, a Belgian and a German, all living in their respective countries, but we're all off to Germany at the end of January.

Never once has it ever entered my head that it's weird or wrong to socialise with work folk. I have many former colleagues that I'll meet up with 2-3 times a year, either individually or as a group on a social basis. In my current job, I'll take every chance to meet a friendly colleague on a social basis.

My work culture has always been extremely focussed on relationship building, mainly to avoid conflict as colleagues were often on the different end of the scale in terms of what they wanted from a given work situation, so the emphasis on relationship building helped smooth those situations over, and probably led to the friendships developing outside of work

I was giving my point of view.

There's a difference between giving a point of view and saying other people shouldn't have a point of view, or should keep it to themselves. The latter is the dullest ****ing shit that appears on here in a lot of threads.

There’s a difference between giving a point of view and saying other people shouldn’t have a point of view, or should keep it to themselves.

Oh look, another grinch with a megaphone. As you put it:

dullest **** shit that appears on here in a lot of threads.

There’s a difference between giving a point of view and saying other people shouldn’t have a point of view, or should keep it to themselves. The latter is the dullest **** shit that appears on here in a lot of threads.

+1