[Closed] Work Christmas Party Scandal

Ha ha that's a cracker, can't top that. A few years ago on our Christmas do, I was in the loo's of a club in Gloucester, one of my colleagues came in as well, completely hammered, went to lean on my shoulder just as I moved out of the way. He fell down like Delboy and broke a load of ribs.

Best incident I can recall from a previous job was a deeply religious man begging to give another guy a BJ whilst high on pills....

So the guy was already gay, or the magic pills turned him gay?

a deeply religious man begging to give another guy a BJ

did you enjoy it?

I'm not sure what the church has to say on the matter of pills, but the other bit sounds like the Vatican christmas lunch?

did you enjoy it?

'twas a religious experience "Oh god! Oh god!Oh god!"

Cant really say 'scandal' but many moons ago woke up in the staff quaters of a hotel where we had been having our xmas do the night b4, was a good night and good morning 🙂

I remember one year my boss having £20 on me to get off with a very close female friend st the Xmas party.

Convinced him to let me have his room key so we could do the deed and he could win his bet.

Nothing happened. We just trashed the room and when he burst through the door with a spare pass key he had blagged from reception we had just finished a sensible and sober discussion about how we both did quite fancy each other but at the time I was already involved with a couple of other women, one of whom is now MrsMC, and she didn't want to add to my rather complicated ( at the time) problems.

One of lifes missed opportunities was Suzie. 😕

A mate of mine once got so drunk at the Xmas party he forgot his room number, so went to sleep in his car.

Woke up in his car at 7am in a busy Gatwick hotel car park. Wearing the pyjamas he had obviously changed into whilst in said car park.....

Best incident I can recall from a previous job was a deeply religious man begging to give another guy a BJ whilst high on pills....

So the guy was already gay, or the magic pills turned him gay?

I think his surging serotonin levels let out alot of suppressed feelings.

A long time ago I ended up at a nurses xmas party in Kings Lynn. I was hammered and ended up going back with a rather large, but lovely lady.
Unfortunately the walk to her house sobered me up. She lay on her bed and released two huuuuge breasticles, i realised I couldn't go through with the deed... Being the sophisticated guy i am i made an excuse to go to the loo and scarpered.

If you are reading this o' buxom one I do apologise 😕

monkeysfeet - Member
A long time ago I ended up at a nurses xmas party

At a works Xmas do about ten years ago my employer decided the best free booze to put on the tables was wine and Stella 😯

There was a catty group of girls in one of the teams who had been picking on another girl for a few months. She got trashed on the free booze (the remnants of which had been taken onto the dance floor). Eventually, spying a whispered bitchy comment, she stepped across (and into) the bottles that were strewn across the floor, took a swing at one of the girls, missed, and clocked a woman who was on secondment to us from HMRC. Before losing her balance and clattering into the bottles (broken and otherwise).

She was carted out by two of her colleagues. The next week, she was hauled in for a very brief 'chat' on the Monday morning, then left the premises never to be seen again.............

I think his surging serotonin levels let out alot of suppressed feelings.

Some funny stuff but nothing scandalous

So the bullied girl got sacked? That seems a bit unfair

One doo: My Mum ringing me to remind me it was the anniversary of my Fathers death that night.
..Then I break the belt of the Office girl who bursts into tears, then my drunk female boss tried to see how big my balls were whilst I objected/tried to get away.
....Then two from our company stole a bottle of spirits from behind the bar asking me to cover for them and tried drinking it like it was large glasses of wine.

Never ever ever again.

In addition with other companies Christmas doo's- I'm a daft drunk. Some people are aggressive and pick fights with strangers expecting colleagues (i.e me) to wade in and save them.

Thankfully our current (and last place) go for a nice meal, a glass or two with a "swear pot" on the table (no speaking about work), and generally have a really nice time - often kids and family join us.
Sorry to disappoint.

In my younger years as a trainee in a building services enginering office we went out for the usual late afternoon / evening meal & night time drinks.

One lad thought he was a big time drinker mixing red wine & Stella & necking it back. I had to ring his mother at 18:30 to pick him up. 😀

Not telling any of my tales, we all like promo girls though 🙂

Hopefully ours passes without anyone getting arrested.

Got to happen some time surely

monkeysfeet - Member
I was hammered and ended up going back with a rather large, but lovely lady.

Unfortunately the walk to her house sobered me up.

i realised I couldn't go through with the deed...

Was the walk 20 miles? if not you wernt really hammered 😉

Not quite a works do but it was Christmas and at work.
Many years ago when video camera's were rare I worked in a large hotel; on Christmas day we set out a huge buffet that stretched for about 100ft, one of the Senior Chefs who was an old guy in his late 60's wanted to film it and so borrowed a video camera from one of the Junior Chefs who had been given Christmas off (you could work either Christmas or NYear). On boxing day some of the kitchen brigade gathered in a function room to watch the film back, all was good but as the Christmas day filming ended no one was quick enough to switch it off and the tape ran on. To a film Karl (for that was his name) had made for his girlfriend of him ****ing off in front of his Christmas tree...it didn't take long for the whole kitchen has seen it before he came back to work!

ste_t - Member
Hopefully ours passes without anyone getting arrested.
Got to happen some time surely

Wowsers

In a previous place of employment,two of my workmates were getting to know each other VERY well in an alley next to the pub we had ended up in....As teenagers filmed it (I suspect as a nature film)*
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* I'm a teacher.

So the bullied girl got sacked? That seems a bit unfair

Yes, but she had just clocked an innocent bystander who didn't even work for the company.

It was the kind of company (like most) where those in power didn't give a toss what was going on so long as the work got done and they got their bonuses without having to work too hard themselves.

It happens a lot.

Do you work in banking dannyh??

Was the walk 20 miles? if not you wernt really hammered

Do you work in banking dannyh??

Nope - it was an old employer of mine - a FTSE 100 Retailer.

one christmas do was at a fancy dress party, medieval themed. One guy who used to get all the ladies came dressed as a medieval buxom wench. This must have sent the real women wild because during the night he got a bj off of one in the carpark and took another woman for full how's your father over a car bonnet, this was after he had danced with her in full view of the whole dept on the dancefloor. He was stood up and she was sat on his hips and he was jiggling her up n down to the music and she was lovin it, they were both completely oblivious to the fact that nearly the whole dept were watching them agog. She's normally a quiet sort, happily married with two kids. She split from her hubby for 6 months after!! That woman is now my manager.... Oh how we laughed!.

Because of us, all bank of scotland staff are banned from the Canny Man in Morningside until the end of time.

It's always the quiet ones

Post Xmas lunch pub
Another team at our place were having a group.photo taken, I got the kid taking the pic to.wait till.I was in position and stood on a table behind exposed my shiny white butt .
This was predigital camera. So in the new year I was at first a bit confused when the camera owner came storming up to me and demanded if this was my arse
It took a moment for it all to come back to me. She had no sense of humour
That was mild tbh, it was a lot of graduates st a big science institute and our boss would invite us to his place at 11am for whiskey tasting to kick things off

I once threatened to rip someones F-ing throat out after they had thrown a roast spud and it hit my white DJ. It was just at the moment where the music stops and pretty much everyone heard me!!

Jacket only cost me a fiver, but the gravy stain ruined my bond esq suaveness!!!

I once threatened to rip someones F-ing throat

my bond esq suaveness

😕

demanded if this was my arse

Brilliant

last year my boss decided that he was going to try to match me drink for drink.

Bless.

My first job after uni at the Xmas party, one of those bring a party ones at some hotel, we usually had to put the team manager to bed before the meal was finished as it was like he was getting of the leash for one night a year and his mission was to consume more beer than anyone else from 3pm.

My last job at the last Xmas night out I did walk in to the toilet and catch two (happily) married colleagues in a rather compromising situation.

I recall seeing a colleague I vaguely knew wandering round the dinner tables after everyone had finished the meals, necking as much red wine as was left on each table.

I next saw him having a conversation with the bouncers by the entrance to the nightclub. The gist seemed to be that they wanted him to leave, but he didn't. As I passed, I caught a snippet of the conversation as he admitted "well, yes, I HAVE been sick, but..." I think he probably left shortly afterwards.

We had one of those two-different-parties-at-the-same-venue altercation situations a few years ago - a bit uneven as there were about 25 of us, in 1920s fancy dress (it had been a murder mystery themed dinner) and about 150 of them, and they didn't agree with the venue management who had told us we were welcome to join the disco, and some of them decided to emphasise the point with some physicality.

Ended up with about 10 police vans, and the helicopter hovering overhead with it's 8,000,000 lumen search beam (presumably a couple of Solarstorm X2s strapped together) illuminating us in all our glory. Oh how we laughed as the combined might of West Yorkshire's finest realised that a couple of dozen slightly pickled idiots dressed as vicars, colonels etc. really didn't present that much of a threat to civil order. I think the venue manager got a bit of a roasting for calling it in with a bit of exaggeration..

I think the venue manager got a bit of a roasting

And there is a whole other story................

Some guy at one of ours, about 8 years ago, climbed under a table and crimped one off. As far as we know, HR/management didn't even need to have "the chat" with him. He just came in on the Monday morning, sheepishly collected his belongings into a cardboard box and walked off the premises, never to be seen or heard from again.

Just about the weirdest thing I've ever seen.

This one time, I may have been drunk, I had a fumble with the hot blonde in accounts & professed my undying love for her. Worked a treat as she's now my wife.
Another time 'lunch time bash' then returned to the office I vaguely recall my then boss offering me glasses of port and at some point late in the afternoon I was standing on my desk mooning one of my colleagues when a manager from another dept walked in.... The following morning I excused myself and my boss laughed at me, he thought it was hilarious, thankfully.

I dropped the butcher who I gave a shoulder ride to ,which resulted in him breaking his collarbone and needing 6 weeks off work .The supermarket manager was well impressed .It was that xmas do that got us banned from a pub .That may have had something to do with pouring the hot white sauce over another butchers bolloxs for being a gobby little git

One of lifes missed opportunities was Suzie

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IHN, yeah I know, he'd have done it a lot stealthier than me!! 🙂

Arrival at the venue for an evening of festive shenanigans at 3.30pm

Some rampant fool made the mistake of supplying a load of free beer and wine to go with the buffet later, as you might have expected this got broken out early... The beer didn't last all that long, so soon it was wine by the pint glass

I got home in a taxi slaughtered and Having thrown up by about 830 and promptly passed out on the dining room floor, whilst my darling missus threw a blanket over me and went to bed in a huff 😀

No thanks hyd1, I'm not even going to mine.

I avoid them these days, but I remember one from the bad old days at a hotel in London that [stupidly] decided to let in a bunch of idiots. Things were ok until one of our lot stole all the spoons and another, following a small food fight in which the assistance manageress got broccoli down her blouse, offered to retrieve it for her.

That and one bloke being taken away in an ambulance due to over over imbibing pretty much saw us banned from that end of London.

Happy days.

edlong - Member
I recall seeing a colleague I vaguely knew wandering round the dinner tables after everyone had finished the meals, necking as much red wine as was left on each table.

I love this kind of attitude at Christmas parties

ooh, just remembered one where I required stitches in a split eyebrow, ahh happy days!

Big M - Member
ooh, just remembered one where I required stitches in a split eyebrow,

Head butting the boss I presume. Please confirm...

I'm looking forward to ours for the first time in ages. Just the six of us in the CID office going for a curry, then inevitably back to the gaffers house to make a substantial dent in his collection of single malts.

Wife managed to get brother and sister in law on her works do. Brother in law had a ruck with the bouncers and got chucked out. Well behaved 😆

I thought CID kept the whisky in the filing cabinet ? or is that just on 70s and 80s police shows ?

That's just for special occasions these days 🙂

I was at a works do where my colleague's brother ended up in the gents with the MD's secretary's sister
I went in for a wee between pints only to hear "You dirty girl, now do it again!"

On the Monday morning my colleague and the secretary were very sheepish as they exited the MD's office

Once had a do at a posh hotel that had a festive display based around Santa and his sleigh in one of the rooms that had obviously been moved to allow us to have our do. It was found by a work mate but he'd been beaten to it by a girl from accounts, who in turn had been beaten to finding it by the tech support manager. She was so impressed that he'd found it before her that she thought she should reward him by noshing him off on the front seat of Santas sleigh.

Which is when my mate walked in, saw what was happening and left the room.

To tell as many people as he could find what he had seen.

Her BF (now husband)/colleague, was not so impressed with the tech support manager.

Not me but one of my collegues has a good story to tell.

He was staying in a pretty low level b&b for the night. Went out and got pissed. When he returned he went to bed. Later on he woke needing a pee. As I said it was pretty low level and the rooms shared a toilet and in his drunken stupor he went out to the toilet naked and had a drunken pee. Yep as you thought he then couldn't get back into his room.

Now the funny bit. Any normal person in this situation would think about going to reception and trying to bluff your way out of the situation. Not this guy. He found an unlocked room, broke in and stole some guys golf trousers from the room. Then he went down to reception and got let back into his room.

The really funny part happened the next morning when a knock at the door from the manager and the 'guest' asking for his trousers back. Apparently the guy had been in the room in his bed when my collegue had blundered in pissed and stole his trousers. The guy deemed it safer to let the drunken oaf sleep it off and get his kegs back in the morning.

The aftermath of ours was on the front page of the Manchester Evening News about 7 years ago.

and no I'm not going to expand on that further I'm afraid.

Bregante - Member
The aftermath of ours was on the front page of the Manchester Evening News about 7 years ago.

My 4th year Christmas Dance (many moons ago) made it onto the front page of the Daily Record...... all parties since have seemed a little insignificant 🙁

Today's Christmas party highlight so far was a bank we had in for lunch.

Boss instructed them to avoid champagne given the impression in would give. Cue 2 jokers ordering a bottle of Veuve and the boss storming out.

Didn't help that the poor lad organising it managed to get everybodys food orders wrong. The guy who got the veggie option when he wanted steak was thoroughly unamused.

I start reading these threads wishing I worked for a company and had a christmas do to go to. Then I read the stories and it brings back memories of when I did and why I didn't enjoyt it!

I used to work with someone who was a Jehovah's Witness and who used to join us at the office party which always got a little out of hand - pre party drinks of homemade wine etc. Would making him sing Christmas carols now count as a religious hate crime?

Two years ago a mates crowd of nerdy IT support people apparently ended up in a bar with a group of very attractive young ladies who turned out to be dancers at a local gentlemans apparently. Like Big Bang Theory but with more Pennys.

Turns out one of the nerdy IT support crew is a Mens Health cover model. The others were kind of caught in the crossfire.

Manager of 1 department , manageress of another department caught glancing too often , they went to toilets and got caught in the bogs ,The man told the woman to jump out the window as his wife was banging on door ,the bogs were 3 stories high , the couple in the bogs are now married with a daughter 18 years now , ha ha piss funny night .

Thing is my Christmas party is full of lots of drunk Swedish women.. Stay focussed Martin

thegreatape - Member
That's just for special occasions these days

🙂

ah the Christmas party..
A colleague who had already been banned in previous years, drank like a fish while on anti depressants. We left the hotel to get a few beers in town, as we walked back he pissed himself without noticing. Then back in the hotel tried to pick a fight with the old guy in the team and it ended up with me stood in the middle before 2 people convinced him to go to bed...
Following year same guy lost the plot in a nightclub in west cumbria, managed to say something racist to the biggest guy in there, it was suggested we took him home. He then spent half the night banging on peoples hotel room doors telling them he wanted to kill them.
Then there was the year I drunkenly told the director that my boss was wasting money on a project and it was doomed to fail and be a horrible mess (in confidence) he then turned round and told my boss....

Woke up under my desk at 5am this morning . Good times 🙂