[Closed] Woman problems

This should be a long runner.........

women, cant live with em, cant kill em.

but you can run!

OOOO, so what do you want from this relationship? Can you see it going long term? HOw long have you been together? Are you married? Seems that you are both quite insecure types, why were you checking her phone? (obviously gave you a reason to) but why is she getting annoyed about an ex being in the pub. Unless you are 15 years old you have to accept that probably your partner has some ex's some of which will mean more than others.

you cannot take advice on here, as it depends what you want out of it. On the service IMO with what little I have it appears there is no trust and you should split up and go your seperate ways. Good luck though whatever you choose.

Got to confront her, it's only going to rot otherwise, even if she stops contacting him.

Trust is paramount!

Have some self-respect.

Been together 4 years. Now up untill december when she thought i wasnt commited we trusted each other but since we split up its a bit hit and miss. Id like a future together but i dont want this little shit interfering.

She's just lost a baby that was very much wanted, she's bound to be all over the place. You need to be supportive but firm that this guy isn't going to feature in your lives from now on. If she carries on texting him then you probably have your answer to be honest. Does she trust you?

Just sing the Jay-Z song to yourself "I have 99 problems but the b*** ain't one" 😉

Ha, MC my husband was in the garage the other day and the couple next door were having a huge argument and the chap was shouting away and that song could be heard in the background. I chuckled.

dump her.

Find a woman you don't like and give her half a house. Saves time in the long run.

I wouldn't believe the "we only kissed" bit that's a damage limitation thing to stop hurting your feelings especially as it was probably discussed when you were both thinking of getting back together
IMO ( I have Been through something very similar and not while on a break either) you need to understand why she is lying to you- she's not seeing the Italian stallion is she behind your back? And if you say no to this question are you sure?
Confrontation is the only way- its gonna hurt you but better to know the ugly truth and move on than live a life of doubts and lies
So ask her the truth or you walk- only with the truth can you know whether you can get your head round it or move on
Good luck with your decision it's hard , speaking from experience

Difference of opinion about having kids or not (did you change your mind, cave in or was the pregnancy that ended in miscarriage a mistake?....or Italian); a break up; she finds time and is ready emotionally in a 3 week breakup to get back out there and at it(you know it was more than a cuddle); lack of trust and checking for messages; her still in contact and lying about it; childish attitudes to ex partners- writing's on the wall I'd say. Savable or not, defiantly not secure enough for starting a family so I'd be keeping it in your pants for the moment.

Savable or not, defiantly not secure enough for starting a family

And again for good measure...

[b]Savable or not, defiantly not secure enough for starting a family[/b]

Walk away, there is no happy ending on this one.

So true convert and three fish! Listen to these people ....

Find a woman you don't like and give her half a house. Saves time in the long run.

Another pearl of wisdom brought to you by STW. 😀

In a lot of cases it's true unfortunately. 🙄

As below, keep my bitterness to myself

Edit as decided to remove my ridiculous advice. Hope you work it out.

Walk away now.

You're in a no-win situation - if you have it out with her, she's going to be pissed off because you checked her phone, and because you've caught her out, and for your part, you're already in a position where you feel you can't trust her. And if you don't have it out, it'll fester, and the next time you have an argument, chances are you'll bring it up whether you mean to or not.
I hope you can work it out, but if you do, I'd give it a good long while before you think about starting a family.

Life is too short, only you know what you want out of this, the stw lot can only advise. I would be pretty peeved through regarding the Rocky communication though.

All the best though.

Text him back using her phone, tell him 'stay away from my wife'

"her wanting a break after apperantly me not commiting ... we split for about three weeks and she spent it tarting about with ... rocky balboa wannabe"

Sorry about her miscarriage but I think it's muddling the main issue. Do you suspect she split because she was already after Rocky? Do you think things will get better? Can you live with that? <entirely personal choice>. But perhaps your instinct not to commit to children with her was correct?

Best of luck whatever you do.

I was thinking more this:

Savable or not, defiantly not secure enough for starting a family

PS anyone who gets annoyed because an ex is in the same pub as you is IMHO a mentalist best avoided.

No offence but you sound like teenagers who think a child will bring you closer together a child will do many things for a relationship but making it easier or bringing you together is NOT one of them for the first few years.
You need to tell her the truth if you wish to save it [ WHY she lied about seeing him and if you think they only kissed you are naive ] you read her phone, she talks to Rocky WTF is going on...when she says you dont trust her just explain you were right not to and her lack of honesty is the issue here as yes you should not snoop but she should give you no cause to snoop. Dont expect this chat to go well but in the long run it is the only way to "save" what you have and turn it into a trusting relationship.

Good luck

Hard though it may be i would run away and not look back personally. dont trust her say
No shit sherlock would you afte rwhat you have done

She split with me and got with Rocky because apperantly they were both singing from the same Hymn sheet. in their relationships. But then she fired him off. Probably realised i was the better prospect, good job etc. Now im no oil painting but he is a toothless little whippet.
I thought things were getting better we talk more openly and when the last lil bump was on the way i looked after her during the short pregnancy and was excited. I have supported her since we lost him/her. So cant understand what keeps drawing her to communicate with him.

Its childish i know but maybe putting the frightners on him maybe an idea. I think id find it hard walking away,but. i cant have the piss taken out of me.

Well.....thank **** she had a miscarriage because this will end up with either one of two outcome:

1) She has your baby, runs off with bigger and better looking bloke. And forces you to pay to bring up the baby you never see.

2) She shags said Italian bloke and then has you paying for and bringing up his child.

Run like **** (this is a no brainer, no questions asked.... run). Perhaps splash her with holy water on the way out because it sounds like she's possessed.

So cant understand what keeps drawing her to communicate with him

i cant have the piss taken out of me

disclaimer: I may be wrong.

No advice, but good luck. Make the right decision instead of the easiest one and you'll be fine.

Just to ram the point home....this is effectively your girlfriend.

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Game over man, game over.

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vote with yer feet and get shut pal, there is better for you out there, it may not seem that way at the moment but there deffo is! all the best 🙂

Ring the chap in question ask him out for a bike ride,drink,sport etc, you may well become good freinds, and dump her asap.

I know of him from boxing and he's a unfit twit who cant handle his booze. Have a good mate who's on the market and up for a poke. Shes a bit older than me tho at 31

Its childish i know but maybe putting the frightners on him maybe an idea. I think id find it hard walking away,but. i cant have the piss taken out of me.

Have a good mate who's on the market and up for a poke. Shes a bit older than me tho at 31

Sorry, this makes no sense. Are you saying you might consider leaving current lady but only if a bit of action is available; or are you saying this good friend could be used for revenge sex whilst remaining with current lady?

Either way, you are not ready to be a dad. Sorry.

I've been in your position (or at least a similar one).

It might sound a bit "loose Women" but why should you put up with this sort of thing?

There are women about who won't behave like this they are not all the same. You don't trust her so just have it out its better to know at least.

This other bloke is incidental a "bit of rough" not a long term thing from her POV but probably enough of an indication of how she truely values your relationship...

Often women want out but somehow need for you to be the "bad guy" and end it the phone snooping confrontation might be the trigger for that. again at least you'll know one way or t'other. By the way did you check her sent messages or just the inbox? often sheds more light can be a tough read so prepare youself... If it turns out she's been doing the dirty don't engage in a long shouting match pack a bag and leave quietly give it 48hrs for your head to clear after. no booze no texting her get yourself some space and time to think.

Good luck with it all.

actually having just read the last bit about tapping up a new **** buddy...

just get shot of your current missus and spend a couple more years just growing up...

In regards to checking the sent box. Its an Iphone so can read the whole convo in a way the texts are just how are you etc and he instigates the flirty texts she does one flirt text back and then seems to change the subject of he's young free and single so get out there.

The other girl thing is just trying to lighten the mood, i see her as nothing more than a ex work colleague who i've had a drink with once or twice

Just stay where you are and enjoy the drama as it unfolds!

Your not ready to commit so let's have a break this isn't working! I stayed at his but we only kissed 😆

REEEEETARDED!!!

Nurses; thick as mince...

just hire a hooker

50 quid trashy type and get her round

preferably whilst your missus is in

If your relationship is that rocky, there's no way I would be bringing a kid into the world.

Have child, splits, then claims beenfit and child support while your life is messed up from failing Nursing school as she rides rocky the talian' stal...

She's lied and sha99ed him good and still keeps in touch.

Who wants a baby halfway through studies? can't you wait?

Get rid of her, wise up and move on (and pass your course, save up and meet woman who is sane and trustworthy/worthy of you).

confront her, ultimatum time IMO - how she reacts will tell yo what the next move is

What do you think of people you lie too?

Man up, leave her and make yourself happy.

drookitmunter - Member
Man up, leave her and make [s]yourself[/s] both of you happy.

Its childish i know but maybe putting the frightners on him maybe an idea.

You're directing your disapproval in the wrong direction. It's not him that has to behave. Your partner is the one you need to be talking to. Bottom line, she needs to be honest or pack her bags. There's many fine women in the world, not all of them are going to treat you with total disrespect.

Incidentally, reading the OP and looking at a calendar, if she hadn't miscarried I'd be seeking a DNA test.

If you don't trust her, (which you don't as you checked her phone) then get out. It will hurt, but in the long run you will learn.
Having checked her phone you don't have a leg to stand on. Get out finish your training, move on and find some one new.
Trust me I have been there. I have also been through the loss of a baby and its a tough thing to get through, with no trust there it would be even harder.

OP, without any due respect, you are a MUG.

get out. leave.

surely the fact that you split up/had a break from each other is enough of a signal that you're not meant to be together.....

are you even sure the miscarried baby was yours?

i'm guessing you're about 30, maybe a bit younger (ha! i'm 29, but i sound so old!). you've got plenty of time to meet a decent woman. job her off and get out before things go shit shaped.

She's been through a really tough time - possibly the worse imaginable (apart from a mother burying an older child). Cut her some slack maybe. Personally I'd question your maturity in this and as an unknowing stranger I'd say - be kind, move on. At the very very least do not consider getting pregnant again. With some brutal honesty and maturity you may be able to handle this.

Lastly - the very best of luck to you.

Yes hard time.
Fidelity is a bitch

Been there , dump her or u will get hurt mate !

OP "I'm dumping you"
GF "Why?"
OP "The internet told me to"

GF "Fair Enough"
[i]Gets phone out[/i]
GF "Hi, yeah it's me. Look, I can't talk long, I just rang to say we've been rumbled."
Rocky "Oh well. It was only a matter of time, I will come pick you up?"
GF "Yes please."
OP "MoFos!"

you do know we are all real people dont you?

Junkyard "You know I am real, right?"
OP "Not now with your existential angst, I got my own problems to deal with"
Junkyard "Dry your eyes, mate. It's for the best"

Just get rid mate. do you really need a life of misery ?

you do know we are all real people dont you?

why are you even contemplating this .. clearly the trust has gone out of the relationship and its nigh on impossible to get that back truely .. its a horrible thought being single i know .. but its better than second guessing everything thats going on.

Why don't you dump her and bang Rocky?

Change is good as a rest and all that...

C'mon - find your inner metrosexual!

Cut and run, what's the point ****ing around?

Get shot of her. Just 'kissing' my arse. Trust me, it never is 'just kissing'.

Best way over a woman is under another.

They shoot horses don't they?

beurgghh.. I agree wholeheartedly with Munq chick's post on the first page..

This thread contains the most unanimous, consistent advice ever on STW!

Which bombers..?

Maybe your relationship just needs spicing up a bit? Just ask if there's any way you can involve Rocky in the bedroom as I'm sure she'd love two strapping young studs giving her attention. In fact, if she's up for that then send me a pm and I might be interested in joining in too.

Been in a similar relationship many years ago.

Wasn't healthy! No trust, no self respect, no real relationship. My answer was to act up too.

Was a couple of wasted years.

In a healthy, happy relationship now with a girlfriend who I never worry about in that way.

run, like, the proverbial

what she said - "we only kissed"
what she means - "we did more than kiss, oh, and i'm pretty sure that kid was his too"

You split up briefly and her first inclination was a bunk up? If it was the other way round would she be so forgiving? I highly doubt it. And I'm sure any comment from you will be met with:

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Been there, had that done to me, the best revenge is keeping your self respect otherwise it's an episode of the Kyle waiting to happen, and nobody wants that

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if she really cared about you, you wouldn't have found out about the other chap.

She wanted to punish him, it's obvious.

Women want a stable supportive mate who provides for them. When the OP showed reluctance to take on that role she went off with the Italian stallion to prove that she can still pull the blokes and to test him out and hopefully make him come back out of jealousy.

Seen it all before.

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