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[Closed] Will try not to touch anything or push any big red buttons...

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Going on a tour of CERN today with my son. Quite excited even though I'm a particle physics imbecile. iDave jnr is a boffin. My head hurts already with imploding atoms.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 7:14 am
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Have a smashing day.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 7:19 am
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[i]My head hurts already[/i]

Best not ask them about neutrinos then.
Especially as they are making everyones head hurt at the moment.
😉


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 7:26 am
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Naranjada, good work!


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 7:29 am
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Top work Up there Naranjada - it has a Strange Charm. No way were you Down at the Bottom of the class.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 7:59 am
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Posted : 15/11/2011 8:46 am
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Posted : 15/11/2011 8:47 am
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Posted : 15/11/2011 8:48 am
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Awesome. Maybe have a quick watch of this before you go..

(This is why I love physics).


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 8:54 am
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I have very very little inertest in such things, I must say, but I spose this must be like visiting an amazing cathedral or something, so have a great time! 🙂

Could that thingy tell you why I've got such [i]terrible[/i] wind this morning? 😳


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 8:58 am
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Thepurist - you certainly have a quarky sense of humour.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 11:33 am
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Best not ask them about neutrinos then.

My mate is going to see them last week.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 11:34 am
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Could that thingy tell you why I've got such terrible wind this morning?

Is it because you are full of shit? 😛


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 11:35 am
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RealMan - Member
Awesome. Maybe have a quick watch of this before you go..

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NMqPT6oKJ8

(This is why I love physics).

Ah, my old lecture theatre and some of my old lecturers! Glad to see some of them are still around.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 11:36 am
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It could be, Junky; I've had two poos already today, possibly a third is on the cards.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 11:37 am
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ask 'em if it works properly like the one that measured the neutrinos.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 11:38 am
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Are you taking a baguette with you?


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 11:40 am
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Just watched that last video, only a physicist could describe a hand as a 'high density reigon'

😐


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 11:40 am
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Can anyone please explain, in Idiot, what the bloody hell it is that thing actually does?

Cos I'm confuddled. 😐


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 11:40 am
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Can anyone please explain, in Idiot, what the bloody hell it is that thing actually does?

Smashes thing into other things at very high speeds to see what they are made of.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 11:42 am
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I don't think they really know Elf.
Basically it's a big old fashion telly with a few bits bolted on for measuring stuff.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 11:42 am
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Data produced by LHC, as well as LHC-related simulation, was estimated at approximately 15 petabytes per year

😯

Jeeze! Kev; that's nearly as much as Wobble's porn stash!

Smashes thing into other things at very high speeds to see what they are made of.

Howzit do that then? Does it involve the use of magnits?

Uh-oh: Turtle-heading...


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 11:44 am
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iDave - did you post this post tomorrow?


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 11:45 am
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smashes tiniest bits of matter together to see if they can make smaller bits. Like crashing 2 lego cars together then trying to find the bit that went under the fridge only to discover other bits, or something.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 11:45 am
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Does it involve the use of magnits?

Yes, it's like a giant japanese bullet train with a huge circular track - makes the train go faster and faster then at the last minute they switch the points, divert the train and slam it into something.

Stuff is made of atoms, right? Well atoms are made of smaller particles, and those particles are made of still smaller particles. Theoretical Physicists make up theories to try and figure out how things work - why we have particles and stuff, and what they are - and the theories predict certain things will exist and how to find them. The machine tests the theories by smashing particles into each other.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 11:53 am
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Kev, that possibly the best explanation I've heard of how it works.

Dave, mention that to them... Then ask whether the Higgs-Boson is one of the 1x1 pieces that always seem to get stuck on the stairs, hidden, until you are trying to get something from the fridge in the middle of the night. Then they suddenly un-hide and make themselves very painfully felt.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 11:54 am
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So why they do this thing then?


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 11:55 am
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Because they want to find out what the smallest thing in the universe is and how the universe was formed.

Or, because someone got drunk and came up with the idea and someone gave him a big sack of cash.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 12:02 pm
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to make finer sandpaper.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 12:03 pm
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So why they do this thing then?

Can't get laid and don't like beer.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 12:04 pm
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Smuggle in some bouncy balls.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 12:13 pm
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Smuggle in some bouncy balls.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 12:14 pm
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Because they want to find out what the smallest thing in the universe is and how the universe was formed.

But [i]why[/i] do they want to find out such things?

For what ultimate purpose?


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 12:15 pm
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to make finer sandpaper.

😆


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 12:15 pm
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But why do they want to find out such things?

For what ultimate purpose?

You mean practical purpose? Well it would alter our understanding of the very very small, which is useful in things like electronics and nanotechnology.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 12:21 pm
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Ah, right, so nothing to do with trying to work out how to invent some new mega weapon then?

No?

Oh, right....

Isn't it nice that they've spent billions of pounds on something that will be of significant benefit to Mankind, rather than the next Armageddon Maker....


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 12:25 pm
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It makes a rubbish Airfix kit though, and will disappoint the kids at Christmas.

Parent's won't like the Lego version either. Shit loads of little bits to tread on.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 12:31 pm
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Ah, right, so nothing to do with trying to work out how to invent some new mega weapon then?

Nope. No direct weapon potential, but obviously

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 12:34 pm
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Shit loads of little bits to tread on.

..but so little you won't notice that you've lost them, and won't notice if you stand on them.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 12:35 pm
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Well the tour was very impressive, even though I didn't understand [s]much[/s] any of the physics behind it all. Amazing feat of engineering and that. Can't begin to imagine the budgets involved. Saw rooms full of scruffy blokes looking at monitors and wandering around aimlessly pointing at things and muttering. Will post pics later - they have a 100 megapixel camera can take 40 million images a second, but I just used my phone.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 3:56 pm
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[i]rooms full of scruffy blokes looking at monitors and wandering around aimlessly pointing at things and muttering[/i]

'Fes up, it was B&Q wasn't it?


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 4:03 pm
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Chemical Brothers vs John Williams (Galvanise the Empire) w/ appropriate sized explosions. Oh yeah.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 4:37 pm
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So why they do this thing then?

Elf, they want to understand what matter and energy actually are - the nature of tangible reality. The more we learn about that the more we can do.

Just remember what you are doing as you type on here...


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 5:47 pm
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Just remember what you are doing as you type on here...

Let's not try to think too hard to think about what he's doing while typing 😕


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 7:32 pm
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So why they do this thing then?

so nerds have something to think about between tugs.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 7:37 pm
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Hm, so nobody outside of CERN really knows what it's all about then.

Let's have a think about this...

Where's the LHC based? Switzerland. Ah, the Swiss. Sitting there quietly being boringly 'neutral' for ages, hoarding Nazi gold and that, making high-quality watches, pen-knives and holey cheese, now and then coming up with the odd gem like LSD, not being particularly good at sports apart from maybe tennis and skiiing, just generally not getting involved in stuff...

Then they make a thing what can smash stuff up to teeny tiny particles.

Invade. Invade now, before it's too late! 😯

Smash kill destroy thing what we don't understand! What is this witchcraft?? BURN IT!!!!!


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 7:43 pm
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[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 9:03 pm
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He's made a mistake. it's -1/3 not -1/4 F microvolts tch! No wonder they think neutrinos go faster than light. Schoolboy error.


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 11:12 pm
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That's a "nu" not a v, so would guess it's come frequency related thing, and the "mu" (u) is probably to do with magnetism.

Im guessing but it probably has something to do with the properties of a fermion (electron?)... (proper wild stab in the dark type guessing!)


 
Posted : 15/11/2011 11:37 pm

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