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get left handed scissors?
Yeah, but then you're knackered outside of your own home if you need to use a pair of scissors.
That option wasn't available to me in primary school anyway, so I never learned until much later.
Yeah, schools can be shit at thinking about left handers, right handers won't realise that if you're left handed you can have to cross your arms over when drawing a line 'From 0cm to 10cm ' or something, so that the ruler wobbles and the line goes funny, leaving the left handed child feeling less able - where as it's down to the equipment provided, if you add scissors to the mix and anything else with a right handed bias (which is quite a lot of things), it can leave one feeling less capable as a kid. Scissors didn't click till I was an adult when I suddenly looked on the wrong side of the scissors to see what I was doing. Due to a lack of thought by a lot of people left handed children can feel somehow 'lesser' than the rest.
On the other hand, left handers have a higher survival rate in areas with a higher rate of homicides, from their attackers being caught by surprise when a left hand comes towards the, so it isn't all bad. 😉
( I'm a pacifist by the way. )
do something bad, like have an affair with the neighbour's cat.
then your wife can take her frustrations out on you instead of the kids.
I'm right-handed and it wasn't til I had a go at using left-handed scissors that I realised the problem with scissors for left-handers.
tjagain - Member
Johndoh - thats not what mediation or family counselling is at all.
I know, and that's why the OP can't mediate between his wife and daughter.
do you fellow lefties not switch your knife to your left hand when you want to spread butter etc then?
I've missed a page out of the thread as I am need of bed, but would also like to reply to the OP.
Not sure where all the scissor rubbish came from, however I am step dad to two girls aged 21 and 17, and have been with their mum for the last 14 years.
There have been many arguments between all of us but one thing remains - whilst they are in this house and around me and their mum they show some respect.
Old values maybe but I see parents struggling with kids of many different ages because they are too scared or incapable of repremanding kids. If respect is taught and given from early enough there won't be a problem growing up.
Don't mean violence or smacking, just firm no's and direct tellings off for calling parents 'stupid' or swearing towards us etc.
My theory is to give them enough rope but be there to pick up the pieces, then educate them enough to tell me why whatever they have done went wrong. They don't make the same mistake again.
In the OPs case, a 14 yr old girl should not have the run of the house. Equally her mum should not be stood shouting then going off on one because daughter doesn't answer in 15 seconds.
Both of them need to change the ways a little and meet in the middle.
Again, I'd make sure I told the daughter that if she wants to behave like a child she'll be treat like one and sent into her room with no phone or interweb.
It is old school but it works - or it does if it is started early enough. Try starting it when kids are young teenagers will probably result in destruction 😆
I get the:
"you need to be on my side"
"she doesn't need both of us going on at her"
Can't win.
OP put it this way, if it was your wife complaining about you being like this - society and this forum would probably accuse you of having anger/control issues.
But because she's your wife, you gotta take her side man - at least until she throws an iron at someone - wonen are delicate creatures....didnt you know bro?
Ahhh the sexism of low expectations...
"I get the:
"you need to be on my side"
"she doesn't need both of us going on at her""
Me too.
"you need to be on my side"
"she doesn't need both of us going on at her""
But the OP can support his wife (ie, not undermine her authority) without joining in the shouting. I would never think to question what my wife does in the way of dishing out punishments etc to our daughters in front of them and likewise she won't with me.
"I would never think to question what my wife does in the way of dishing out punishments etc to our daughters in front of them and likewise she won't with me."
Quite right. But nobody is suggesting otherwise.
Thanks all!
I think I've given some of you the impression we are throwing plates and kitchen knives at each other. 😀
We aren't that bad yet!
I just don't want things to get out of hand and for a disconnect to happen between my wife and daughter.
OP I have only read first page so apologies. I have 3 daughters now all in their 20's and during their teens they all had varying degrees of issues with their mum. Now I saw that as a typical teenager asserting their independence in particular wrt their mum (woman to woman, dad is a man so different etc). This was tough on my ex-wife as she was used to being close to them. I would suggest you have a chat with both of them separately, ask your daughter to tonenitndown and your wife to let a few things go. You can't fight every battle and teenagers need to feel they have "won" sometimes so give in on the little/easy stuff.
Good luck