[Closed] Why why why do people get married in churches?

For the family.

me n you would have to get a civil ceremony - calm down jimatron, calm down.

guilt? pretence? buggered by a priest?
I just told people that I would burst into flames if I pretended

This is my argument...I'm not religious although unfortunately I was Christened...why 'pretend' to be religious and have to go to church before?! Its not like I'm going to turn up after the event!

because if you don't, San Pedro won't let you through the pearly gates and you'll live a life of eternal damnation in Hell/ Middlesbrough

The bride looks better in the photos in the doorway of a medieval church in a white flowing dress than a dingy registry office in a pencil skirt, lets be honest.

People think 'aww, it's traditional innit' so they are prepared to lie through their teeth just cos they like a pretty venue. Spineless sods.

Unless of course they are being pressured by their family.. but even so pretending to be religious is not on.

it looks nice on the photies, my ex wanted a white wedding so i went along with it, vicar was cool when i told him i was a non believer and said the money would come in handy to mend the roof anyway. if you want to do it, do it, if you don't, stand up for yourself

I'm not religious but I got married in the church where my Brother's buried.

I had a cool priest though so didn't have to go to church regularly beforehand. 🙂

Jimmy - surely you and Kit could just go for a civil partnership rather than a full-on wedding; besides it'd save argument on who gets to wear the dress?

The church I got married in was 166 miles from home.

The minister didn't make us attend church every week beforehand 😀

I got married in a church (family pressure and they were paying) and the vicar had no problem with my atheism. So, all in all, it was a bit of theatrical hypocrisy but nice for those who believe in it.

I didn't. I got married in a castle instead. The pictures look awesome 🙂

Because it's frowned upon at Bus Stops?

For the family here too, we both agreed it was a bit of a sham really but it kept the MIL happy, for a while anyway.

My brother did the right thing, shot off to Cancuum and did the deed, came back and had a party, all happy,

It's Traditional
Churches are pretty
It's a nice little sideline to help fund the church to help out with maintenance so that it doesn't fall down.

Don't worrit yerself about it. S'not your concern.

I went to a friend's wedding in a church, and was surprised to hear her do the full vows, having thought her non-religious. I asked her about it afterwards and she said she didn't mean any of it, it was just to please her family...

12 years with my mrs, still not married even though she has an immediate (catholic) family of about 2 billion.

Pressure constant from her side.

She wants it to appease the family, but £15k (estimate) to feed her family, buy a dress, rent a car and have a few photos taken?

No chance.

I don't see the point, and her (traditional) family won't pay for it.

We'll do it in downtown Havana (if legally binding), or not at all. 😈

Mrs Grips had a terrible time finding a venue for our wedding.. she looked at churches but they wanted us to join their congregations and attend consultations and marriage guidance and stuff. Talk about nannying people.. I was 29 ffs not bloody 18.

Plus I was 4,000 miles away.

Edit: You can have a wedding for a hell of a lot less than £15k.

Er..... becouse thay want too

We didn't. We got married in this big mutha.

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Good innit?

The best weddings I have been to were not in churches

she has an immediate (catholic) family of about 2 billion.

😆 I've told you a trillion times; don't exaggerate!

Sorry, 1.999998 billion....

I thought for a second that that was Bradford Town hall.

I think I prefer Bradford's:

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Bradford rocks! And that's a Londoner saying that...

Spider - that is an awesome building indeed. I thought I was tripping first time I saw that.

In the "old days", it was the done thing cos bride's parents paid for wedding and called the shots. Add into the mix the groom's mother who refused to attend a wedding unless it was in a church.

Thank goodness times have moved on and I will encourage my kids to do exactly what they want to do. It's their day, not mine.

her (traditional) family won't pay for it.

You'd think they could scrape up a measly £15k between the (almost) 2 billion of them wouldn't you?

Nice buildings, for a few weekends sleeping at the back...

When I meet pretty ladies, my opening gambit is to tell them I will get married on top of a mountain. It will cost nowt, surrounded by the beauty of nature, on a nice summers day. wedding attire will be purchased with vouchers for milletts and she's gonna have to lose a bit of flab if she's gonna haul herself to the altar.

I am single.

Because they want to?
And don't work in IT?

if its a church of england church and your a british citizen I dont see why not.

Im pretty sure legally they have to marry you even if you dont turn up for X number of weeks. By integrating into state the church receives some benefits but it also has duties such as it has to carry out marriages funerals etc for british citizens.

It always confuses me how people can talk about the church as if its nothing to do with them. Its likely that most British citizens ancestors paid for the church either directly through the collection at mass or indirectly through taxation in the past. So frankly if my ancestors paid for the building why should nt I use it ?

And if your part of a community it is likely a building/temple/monument has always been used in the same area for marriages, deaths and other important events even before christianity.

One reason churchs are pretty is because they got the good spots first so why should nt they be used.

Christianity+Church has affected everyones life and the country so much that amazes me that people dont feel like it and its building belong to them anymore.

i got married in chester zoo

it was brilliant, the lion enclosure was nearby , those muthas can roar

the guests got free entry for the day and had a great time wandering around between service and reception while we did all the photos and stuff

a church wedding would have been the ultimate hypocrisy imho
i suspect it is for most of the church weddings ive been to

to be fair if you pay all that money for a catholic church your donnation probably goes into the abused quoirboy compensation fund

I like that Kimbers!

Religion has a lot of stunning buildings to answer for.

i agree churches are pretty

to be fair if you pay all that money for a catholic church your donnation probably goes into the abused quoirboy compensation fund

Yeah, because ALL Catholic priests abuse children, eh? 🙄

Personally, I prefer 'Man at C+A', but Ghost Town was of course their defining moment.

Whatever happened to C+A?

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Fashion.

I've attended many weddings, though none of them my own. In the time Mrs North and I have been together (14 years), people we know have met, married and divorced. All of them have been church weddings.

if its a church of england church and your a british citizen I dont see why not.

Im pretty sure legally they have to marry you even if you dont turn up for X number of weeks. By integrating into state the church receives some benefits but it also has duties such as it has to carry out marriages funerals etc for british citizens.

When I meet pretty ladies, my opening gambit is to tell them I will get married on top of a mountain. It will cost nowt, surrounded by the beauty of nature, on a nice summers day. wedding attire will be purchased with vouchers for milletts and she's gonna have to lose a bit of flab if she's gonna haul herself to the altar.

I am single.

😆

Genius.

I got married on the terraces of a winery on the edge of a caldera overlooking a volcano. It was great, relaxed and cost a whole lot less!

if its a church of england church and your a british citizen I dont see why not.

Im pretty sure legally they have to marry you even if you dont turn up for X number of weeks. By integrating into state the church receives some benefits but it also has duties such as it has to carry out marriages funerals etc for british citizens.

Any source for that? Sounds remarkable!

[url= http://www.weddingguideuk.com/articles/legal/englandwales.asp#ChurchOfEngland ]clicky[/url]

As the established church, the Church of England gives all British citizens, with no former partner still living, the right to get married in the parish church where they are resident or in the church where either of the couple are on the church's electoral roll (not the local register of electors) - see below.

Whys it remarkable, the clues in the title church of ENGLAND.

so, does anybody refuse to go to church weddings of friends and families because it would compromise their non-belief?
And who refuses to put money in the collection plate at weddings? 🙂

so, does anybody refuse to go to church weddings of friends and families because it would compromise their non-belief?

I have considered this in the past but my friends are more important than my disagreement with their faith.
I also enjoy the surroundings.

We had a church wedding last year, (all the trimmings 80 guests, superb food, paid for a free bar, £6000, where the smeg you spend £15k is beyond me!!) and from my point of view THE reason I was happy with is is because we met the Vicar through having a stall at the local fete he organises. To be blunt, he's just the nicest bloke in the world, a top man, and I couln't think of a better person to marry us. I was raised C of E so I had no problems with attending church (In fact we still go sometimes) even though my feelings towards religion are best described as 'open'. I take it all with a pinch of salt but I'm not a ranting, evangelical aetheist nutter like some.....

There is one big advantage of a church wedding if you're atheist.

You do not have to honour the vows because they are meaningless to you, so you can get started on the bridesmaids right away...

There is one big advantage of a church wedding if you're atheist.

You do not have to honour the vows because they are meaningless to you, so you can get started on the bridesmaids right away...

Then you're also a hypocrite as well.....

EDIT
Actually, now I think about it, doubly so in fact

I 100% agree with the OP - I refused to have a church wedding as I knew I could not possibly say the vows and mean them as I 100% do not believe in any god. Fortunately my wife felt pretty much the same way.

All of our families were quite happy with our decision although, quite oddly, my mum appears to be not very impressed with us not Christening our daughters 😕

Why to two non-believers get married in a church? because it's traditional, like spending 15k on a meal for 100 people, or £3k on some photos they may look at once.

As a friend you could suggest something alternative, lots of ideas on this thread, but be careful, it's what they want that's important so don't critise them for chosing something that seems illogical

Personally I went for the registry office option. I wanted to get married because I was making a committment to my Mrs. Knowing both of us, an easy-out realtionship would not have lasted, so instead we've opted for plenty of making up over the years, once we've got over the intital issue whatever it might have been.

Her Mum was a Church Warden and had real issues with our approach. My response was:-

a) If my Mrs wanted me to marry her in Church I would be prepared to do that , but only if she asked me to, and not for anyone else.
b) I did not want to start my married life off with a lie.

Wifey never asked, and we did our thing in the R.O. We are having our 30th anniversary next month, and I highly recommend as a result that anyone planning on getting married thinks it through and makes decisions based on their beliefs and no one elses.

Surprised nobody's mentioned the same people that "re-discover" their faith 5+/- X years later when the kids "just have" to attend the church run school!!

We got married in a park on the side of the Puget Sound in the US (my wife lived there when we got married). Neither of us are religious and the setting was perfect for us. Friends who were religious loved their church wedding.

I think the only important thing is to do what you feel is right rather than what is the cool thing to do at the moment.

PeterPoddy - Member
Then you're also a hypocrite as well.....

🙂

Not really. I refused to marry in a church for the reason that any vow I made based on religion would be meaningless. That caused major upset in both families back in those days. (Free Presbyterian if that means anything to you)

Still married, still keeping the promise I made in the registry office.

(Should have added a smiley first time round)

To be ironic.

Why why why do people get married in churches?

Because if you don't, god gets quite irate.

Mr Woppit - Member

Why why why do people get married in churches?

Because if you don't, god gets quite irate.

But I thought,(could be wrong tho')you said God doesn't exist?

All of our families were quite happy with our decision although, quite oddly, my mum appears to be not very impressed with us not Christening our daughters

Seems odd to christen your daughters when you don't believe in God now doesn't it?

duckman - Member

Mr Woppit - Member

Why why why do people get married in churches?

Because if you don't, god gets quite irate.

But I thought,(could be wrong tho')you said God doesn't exist?

You're not very bright, are you?

What's the big deal? Why such a fuss over what other people want to do? If they want to get married in a church, it's up to them.

Too many people on here think everyone should do what [i]they[/i] think is right.

Who cares if they're hypocrites or not? What's it got to do with you? **** all, so shut up.

Thats not very nice woppit,I just couldn't remember if you had previously shared the odd negative opinion about religion.Sorry if I am mistaking you for somebody else.

im getting married in church, as its my parish church there is no requirement to attend services regularly.

if i wanted to be married in a church outside my parish, i would have to butter up the vicar

and if i wanted to be married in the catholic church i would have to ditch the divorcee and find a new burd.

Thats not very nice woppit

That's our Woppit 🙂

Just OOI, How does the Catholic Church find out the future Mrs SooBalis is a Divorcee?

That's our Woppit

yes, judging my some of his posts today, he didn't get his full quote of sleep last night.

My dad used to call them 4 wheel Christians - they'd only ever turn up in a pram, limo or hearse....

Why do people get married? 😉

I got married in church as my wife is a believer, we had to go to a 'wedding preparation day' with the vicar with about 6 other couples, firs question he asked was "who here believes in god?" all the other 13 people in attendance put their hands up, I didn't so he asked me "If you dont believe in god what are you doing here?", I responded "because my parner does and I respect fer views"

his reply "well at least your honest.........."

I quite enjoy a good church wedding and can understand why people would want one (although didn't have one myself). It's an opportunity to see friends and family, have a bit of a sing song and listen to a story or two. I just opt out of the praying.

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They both hate the idea of church and it fills them with fear.

It was the nearest wedding place to a beach...

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While it's not my parish church, this would be my choice of venue. It's St. Nicholas' church, in Slaughterford in Wiltshire. Destroyed by Cromwell's troops on their way to Bristol, before causing generations of havoc in N. Ireland, it was rebuilt in Victorian times. The grave you can just see in the lower left corner is that of my Great Grandparents. A much nicer spot than an anonymous office in a 1960's extension, I'm sure most would agree.

Most people do it because they think thats what a wedding should be like.

It part of the amusing spend £20k to have a your own unique big day, where you spend more time meeting relatives you didnt know, cringing when you mates assault older relatives on the dance floor and generally worry about everyone else.
After all that hassle, planning and finding the local church; to the average onlooker its a carbon copy of the last wedding they went to.

btw I haven't got married yet!