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So, I've recently destroyed my life with some questionable decision making.
I'm now at the 'what do I want from life?' and 'what is going to bring me excitement into old age?' stage.
How was your midlife crisis, and what did you do or learn?
I'm still struggling with childhood.
But I have bought a TVR while drunk before now and just splashed out on a Porsche 911 for no reason other than I am in my 50's but couldn't bring myself to dye my hair and get teeth whitening so took the next option on the Sad Man menu.
I learnt Porsches have very tightly packed engine bays and are a git to work on.
I've learnt that if you are going to have a crack at getting a Black Belt you should probably start in your teens.
I’m still struggling with childhood.
Pretty much me.
I appear to have gone from being "too young" to being "too old" without ever being the right age. And I'm not entirely sure how or when that happened.
My advice to you would be to buy a catering pack of Viagra and shag anything that moves. No-one ever lay on their death bed wishing they'd had less sex.
My life has been a constant, rolling crisis of one form or another, usually self-inflicted, since reaching adulthood
I'm waiting for my kids to go to university, and then I am going to have the mother of all crises. Four years to go.
Porsche 911 here too (best, and least expensive car I’ve ever owned when factoring in depreciation), a few much younger girlfriends (meh, overrated), some questionable fashion choices, therapy, and then self compassion and acceptance.
Overall a very positive experience for me, and helped me to get to a far better place than I was before, when I was really limited by my childhood trauma and repressed anger.
Love it. Change it, Leave it.
I am not sure if that is the mid-life crisis mantra but I have used it throughout my life. If you can't do the first then do the second and if that doesn't work do the third.
No-one ever lay on their death bed wishing they’d had less sex.<br />
I’ve had enough that I realise it’s not the be all and end all that many make it out to be.
i'm still saving up for one.
Well I biked the Annapurna circuit for my 50th,... probably cheaper than a Porsche or a motorbike and better for me!
I'm vaguely planning the Continental Divide for my 60th (2 years off).
I would go for a younger woman but the wife won't let me 😀
are you 'the friend' off of Olly2097's "my friend is having an affair" post?
I started working for a mountain bike magazine, started wearing dungarees, bought a BMX, and got a new husband. Also done a fair bit of therapy. I think it's worked out pretty well all in all. I've learnt to be 'me' rather than someone else's version of me. I look forward to the days immediately ahead rather than dreading the days between now and some mythical future retirement when all good things shall come to pass.
I haven't got the energy for one now! 🙂
Come on OP, what have you done. Still waiting for mine
What is mid-life these days? I took early retirement at 50, was persuaded to work in a bike shop and my life completely changed. I guess that took care of the desire to make another massive change.
'mid-life' for me--assuming I make it to my 80s--was about a decade ago, mega stress at that time from work when I was in my 40s, now into my mid-50s I feel I am slightly more in control of my life rather than my life being in control of me, but it's a long game... fast cars and fancy hols? no chance! everything goes on the mortgage, cost of living etc etc...
Based on the lifespan of my father's father, I'm roundabout midlife at 33.
Spent many hours pouring over used Porsches on autotrader and pistonheads, chickened out and have a fancy Audi instead.
Already got nice bikes and a plenty of free time to spend how I want. Could do with a tad more spending money though.
My advice to you would be to buy a catering pack of Viagra and shag anything that moves. No-one ever lay on their death bed wishing they’d had less sex.
I bet Jeff Epstein wished he'd practised at least a bit of moderation during his final moments...
51 and had a period of about 2 years now where I can feel aches and pains, can't do what I used to and feel the opposite to Tractionman above. Not really feeling in control, not really enjoying myself etc.
Happy with my car though but I'd quite like a house with a pool on a warm island with nothing to do all day other than find a place for lunch & beers. Reality is at least 10 years of work in the UK I suppose.
started wearing dungarees
Steady on!
Mine was mainly having a sulk and spending a small fortune on bike parts when no-one was looking.
Yep although mine was more of a mid life revelation than crisis. Aged 50, got myself a 34 year old girlfriend and a Hope HB916, two of the best decisions I ever made in my life. I also have found myself considering the nature of reality far more deeply. Didn’t feel the need for a sports car or motorbike as I fly a Boeing 737 for a living.
Never been happier, mid life is fantastic.
Have you considered trying some tyre inserts?
I did plenty of skydiving and WW kayaking in my 20s and 30s. And a few ironmans in my 40s. So no need to get into them again (I'm still into Tri).
In my 50s I find myself frequently perusing the Triumph motor bike website. And the websites for numerous guitar makers. Maybe this is a regression back into my teens ? 58 is the new 18 and all that.
Thankfully I have no interest in ebikes or golf.
nope, always been pretty content with my lot, never wishing to look younger, impress anyone or stand out.
nearly 60 now, only buy new clothes when absolutely necessary on a 'one in one out' basis, happy to drive a battered old nissan note, and happy with my wife.
ive even embraced this 'middle-of-the-roadness' by joining the 'dull mens club' on facebook 😂
Chased second cat road race license in my 50's. Bought a Porsche but not a 911
Nope, and not likely to happen either 🙂
Might take a look at that dull men's club 😉
nope, always been pretty content with my lot, never wishing to look younger, impress anyone or stand out.<br />
That’s where I’ve got to after my mid-life crisis.
Comfortable in my own skin.
45. Contemplating a motorbike. I know nothing about motorbikes.
Yep me too, went from a young hedonistic man to a fossil and cannot remember the middle bit (maybe just as well).
I had more than enough excitement and adventure when I was younger,so got a lot of stuff out my system. I'm cool with where and who I am now,so a quiet(ish) life is fine for now,thanks very much 😉 😜
Take my advice and don't wait for retirement to realise your dreams. I got seriously ill in my mid 60s. So glad now that I bought that Elise that nearly bankrupted me in my early 40s, the memories are worth every penny.
What Bin Bins said. Also, as I have no retirement, short of mini 10 becoming successful, I'm just going to keep lurching from one stupid situation to the next. I did buy a Merc. But it's a sensible SUV for taking the fam skiing rather than a fanny magnet for this fat, balding old fool.
Im 51 and i plan on getting a Honda Fireblade - need to pass the test first
Left my wife at 51 for a younger lady (we're still together 17 years later, though), got back into motorbikes at 46 (still keen, 8 bikes later). Don't regret the bikes.
My life is pretty dull and I like it that way!
Very happy with my modest lot.
And also a member of Dull Men's Club on FB.....
Yep, midlife crisis here - I bought a Porsche Berlingo
no, and i dont get the midlife crisis thing either.
just a excuse for a selfish man/woman to act like a **** IMHO.
i got all my idiocy out of my system in my youth, at a cost.
since then i have been a sensible steady away kind of bloke.
Don’t like cars so bought some nice screwdrivers and a few pairs of Nike high-tops. Very happy with my decision.
I've had a sensible midlife crisis....instead of buying flash look at me stuff that I've always done...now I buy what I need.
So I sold my Jag...and got a Abarth...( best car ever, )
I don't buy new clothes any more , I buy used on ebay....now I've a real hunger for old skool rave vinyl records...so I just hunt for bargains..
Is that a crisis
One downside of spending your younger days 'following your dreams' and 'doing what you love' is that you wake up one day in your mid 30's in a shared house with no money, no pension, and no job.
However, the upside is that as a result, being 40 with a sensible job with a pension, where you get paid every single month, even when you're on holiday ffs, and paying a mortgage on your own house that will one day end, feels like great luxury.
So, currently 44 and don't see any MLC on the horizon. But you never know
40 is looming large for me, T-17 months.
Suspect it won’t be a crisis, more a continuation of previous events.
Never really understood the mid life crisis thing.
It's like openly complaining about your partner - no one else can understand why you'd basically rebel against something that you chose and no one else actually forced you into.
If it happens to me, I hope I have the wherewithal to keep it low key and not have big noisy exhausts attached to it!
Turning 51, and am obsessed with buying a 2018-2020 Suzuki Jimny.
Off to a gig at the 100 club this week, but apart from that...still love my wife, love my kids, love my job, love my dog and am pretty content.
I think I had a wobble last year, but it was down to not being able to train through injury.
i got all my idiocy out of my system in my youth, at a cost.
I was a total failure in my 20s. Worked hard, got promoted...and completely missed out.
Another one going through the menoporsche here…
🎩🎩🎩
Top midlife crisis ICE vehicles:
- Porsche 911: you never grew out of Top Trumps
- GS 1200: you are never going to ride through Argentina
- VW Campervan: you like camping but in the most expensive way possible, and without the space of a tent
- Honda Fireblade: you don't realise how fat you look in leathers
- Ford Capri: same as 911, but without being able to drive it anywhere because it's always broken
- Berlingo: you've given up
I'm saving up for a Berlingo to convert into a Campervan, and I'll stick a sarcastic VW badge on the front (and then cry myself to sleep because I don't have a VW)
Sex drugs and rock and roll was basically done and dusted by 30.
Not expecting a mid life crisis at this stage any more.
Incidentally. Nothing wrong with a capri. If you can afford one.
Assuming I'm still here at 80, I passed mid life a couple of years ago. I'm not sure about a crisis as such, I've had a steady realisation of what makes me happy and content which I didn't before.
The biggest change is now i have little patience for idiots or confrontation, which people wrongly assume means I'm a grumpy git. Far from it, I'm happier than I've ever been!
Bought an Alfa Giulia Quadrifoglio on the basis that I needed a bigger family car, that wasn’t our van. It sort of hits that remit, if you squint a lot. On reflection it’s a perfect MLCC and I was possibly in the midst of one.
My sportscar purchase was years before my crisis. Which had nothing to do with cars, and was shortly followed by changing career and location, getting married, settling down and having kids. Looking back on it, a very positive thing, stuff was getting a bit weird.
My younger wife (42) is having a full on MLC. It is tragic to see, proper Patsey and Eddie behaviour including the tie die!
We are getting divorced.
I call it mid life opportunity rather than crisis. I realised recently I know 8 people with Porches. Every one of them would have had one in their 20's but it wasn't possible.
Roll on 40's or 50's and a better job, mortgage under control and consequently disposable income is generally a bit higher. Opportunity knocks and boom - sports car.
I am perfectly happy, no crisis going on. Not really into cars but I do have a road bike that cost more than a 20 year old Boxster. Some work mates might label it a crisis but I'm very happy with it!
I’m 43 and never really thought about a midlife crisis. Just made a promise to myself to go on one cycling trip a year and I’ll be pretty happy.
Oh and do your MLC properly.
Woman half your age. Piss off to the Caribbean. Do very dodgy things. Otherwise you're just playing at it.
Considering my head is telling me I’m still in my mid-20’s, I’m not even close yet. On the other hand, my 69 yo body does tell me not to even think about doing anything faster than a moderate stroll.
Which is why I’ve taken up archery - I’ve got the time to do it, and I’m either standing still, or I’m strolling up to the target to retrieve my arrows. Which at the moment is 20 yds, as we’re getting ready for the indoor winter sessions, otherwise it’s 30 yds and up, as I get better. After a couple of hours, I think I’ve earned a pint or two… 😉
To add to the above, some people might consider spending nearly £900 on all the kit comes under a MLC, but a BSO can cost more than that, so 😜
I'm 52 and am considering doing a C1 training course so we can buy a bigger motorhome and piss off around Europe for 6 months.
Having just bought my first ever G-Shock my world is expanding.... 🙃
Turn 50 in December but no MLC yet, got two great kids, my health and a full head of hair, so all good!
Don't think one is looming, I just want to work a bit less and bikepack a lot more, and drink a bit of nice wine, gin and IPA along the way.
Although I enjoyed owning a Porsche, now that I’ve had one, I wouldn’t have another one as there are better things to spend my money on.
I was a total failure in my 20s. Worked hard, got promoted…and completely missed out.
Yep. Then redundant at 30. Poorer and more fulfilled since then.
Whilst on our joint midlife gap year, living in a motorhome during the pandemic, my partner and I met a guy in Southern Spain who proudly proclaimed he was going through a midlife awakening. He'd split from his wife and 2 teenage daughters and moved into a motorhome to go traveling with a new woman (not particularly young though). Seemed very happy and positive really.
My wife expects me to live to be 134, so no where near midlife yet, crisis what crisis.
I got the fancy sports cars and started doing track days in my late 40’s. Not so much a mid-life crisis but i just couldn’t afford them when I was younger.
MrsG bought a fancy horse and horse lorry. That makes my mid-life crisis spending look amateur.
I’m far too poor to afford a midlife crisis. I’d like a short travel full sus and a paddle board. Neither of which are looking likely. Does that count?
I’ve had the MX5 ten years now, do we get two?
My midlife crisis was taking up wakeboarding in a local cable park.
Cost me a cruciate ligament - have not put a wakeboard on again
Never really understood the mid life crisis thing.
It’s like openly complaining about your partner – no one else can understand why you’d basically rebel against something that you chose and no one else actually forced you into.
If it happens to me, I hope I have the wherewithal to keep it low key and not have big noisy exhausts attached to it!
Depends if by MLC you mean "buying a Porsche" or a mental health event centred around realising you're half way to dead and there are things in your life that are a long way off plan/you no longer recognise and understand who you are/where you want to be and what to do next?
To anyone who can't understand the latter I'd offer the following:
Did you never make a life altering decision that turned out to be really quite wrong and bad for you?
Never have a mental health issue that might drive feelings of helplessness or low self esteem?
Never made a choice that might have placed long term restrictions on you that's hard to reverse for practical reasons?
Has you work and chosen career slowly changed out of all recognition to something you spent 20+ years of your life investing in?
Did you make an unpalatable choice out of necessity not desire (e.g. you lost your job and needed to eat/support a family)?
Never had to take or stay in a job because you have kids to feed, a mortgage to pay or a retirement that is otherwise going to be in penury?
Partner left you breaking your self confidence, bank balance and relationship with your mutual friends?
Had a long term partner who is emotionally abusive or controlling?
Never been so consumed by doubt about the state of your future, the rate of change and disruption around you, the knowledge that from here on your body is unable to cash the cheques your mind wants to write?
Missed out on normal teens/20s/30s because you made bad decisions about friends or work or had to care for a relative?
Start putting a few of those together and a proper mid life crisis of mental well-being is a pretty likely outcome.
Once declining mental health gets in to the situation then change becomes harder, people feel trapped and things can escalate.
The yearning for youthful madness and less responsibility or fast cars is just one potential symptom of that malaise vs. using MLC as an excuse to do something you can finally afford to and it's now or never that you kind of always wanted anyway.
To the posters enjoying their Porsches I'm not having a dig at all (quite fancy a 911 myself but way too restrained to actually buy one when I could spend money on bikes) but given the OP's post and with Movember looming and focus on men's health including mental health I wouldn't want to dilute the serious issues behind the fast cars and new bikes.
Edit. I know that makes me sound like a fun sponge but there's a serious question in the OP that isn't related to buying stuff.
@stwhannah - this is my problem to solve! "I look forward to the days immediately ahead rather than dreading the days between now and some mythical future retirement when all good things shall come to pass."
Reasonably well paid but boring job. Away from home 2-3 nights a week and miss my wife & kids, all the while saying to myself that when I retire it'll all come good.
I'm 45 FFS.
Not interested in a Porsche etc. My mini MLC is definitely centred around an overwhelming feeling of apathy at work whilst pretending everyday to give a sh!t about work. The faking is very draining.
Very happy at home and good friends fortunately so I suck it up.
Ahhh all you whippersnappers 😉 when you come out the other side you'll think that sex thing was really overated and a good cooked dinner is much more satisfying, that and a nice pair of comfy slippers 👍
54, still working too hard.
After bringing my daughters up practically full time for the last 11 years, one has now fled the nest and one leaving in the next year or so.
No MLC planned, other than sticking the bike on the back of the motorhome and disappearing for as long as I can get away with it.
I'm single so can do whatever the hell I please. Never been happier.
Yep! Had a yearning for a motorcycle for the past couple of years. Something vintage ish, a Royal Enfield Inteceptor, Triumph Bonneville shaped bike.
I'm 43 now. If I got one I'm not sure I'd make it to 80s!
If buying things, then my whole adult life has been a midlife crisis. Thankfully these days, it isn't filling me with debt.
On the mental health thing, well, it's been a crisis since my early 20's and is getting worse. I turned 41 on Monday, and I remember once thinking I'd be dead by 40.
Not sure if a a midlife crisis, but definitely going through a period of certain things in my life dawning on me. I divorced about 3 years ago, from an unhappy marriage that I was only in for the kids sake. Looking back I should have left years ago when I realised I had no love or even any positive feelings towards my ex wife.<br />I have realised that it’s probably me who is incompatible with being in a relationship and I’m happy to be single. I have female friends whom I see, one more regularly than the others. They are all younger than me, I’m 50, they are either in their 30’s or early 40’s. The relationships are predominantly physical as opposed to any feelings or expected future plans. <br />I would think people may look at my life and thing it’s a MLC.
I’ve done the nice/fast cars through my earlier life, two 911’s, AMG Mercedes an Aston, VW T6 campervan and am now driving a Cupra.
My divorce was mentally horrendous. I’m not going into detail, but it was awful, still is. I’ve lost the ability to believe people can be good humans. It’s easier to keep feelings at a distance. Again possibly mid life crisis. Hard to say. (Hope this doesn’t sound negative, I have a really good life - I just didn’t for a long time)
nope, always been pretty content with my lot, never wishing to look younger, impress anyone or stand out.
55, I feel the same. Never been a grass is greener person and just accept who I am and whatever happens. If I didn't do certain things when younger that is because it wasn't for me or I didn't choose too so nothing to try and make up for in a desperate bid for something.
I'm 50 think I've been struggling with this for the last 10 years!
Recently bought a Basso road bike as a 50th birthday prezzie to myself. There won't be any Porsches as i've got a huge mortgage which runs until I'm 66 and 2 daughters to put through Uni.
Over the last 18 months i've grown increasingly dis-satisfied with my fairly well paid job in Project Management and will be looking to move on in the new year - with 16 years left at work fear of change has been surpassed by fear of missing out on something better, which has to be a good thing.
Hmmm Midlfie crisis seems an expensive event, tbh I thought it was one of those things that only happen in films and not real life 🙂