Usually the most chopsy and belligerent of the swivel eyed loons, but strangely MIA.
Could he have more pressing things on his mind.
He's away on location, filming
He's the new James Bond
Arguing with himself in the bathroom mirror after checking his maid's paperwork.
Yomping on Dartmoor but couldn't get over the first stile..
Painting 'Up Yours Delors' on all the sea mines he's planning to put in the English channel on Jan 1st.
He was on TV last week on some news program. He was still telling us how Brexit will still be fine as the EU needs us more then we need them
Keeping a low profile due to what are, I'm sure unsubstantiated rumours..?
There were stories circulating a few weeks back that he may have committed a serious offense.
No idea whether they were dismissed or otherwise. Happy to be corrected / updated.
I've been very much enjoying the 'where's Mark Francois' threads on twitter. It's like a big collective running joke. In fact almost every time a tory MP pops up someone asks them about his whereabouts. They must be sick of it by now.
There were stories circulating a few weeks back that he may have committed a serious offense.
Caught inflagrante delicto with a picture of a Lancaster bomber perhaps?
Somewhere a poor copper is having to trawl through his hard drive
grim
Apparently he has been getting someone to proxy vote for him in the HoC which is a privilege that he may not be entitled to.
He's been seen puffing round Llandegla on an e-bike.
I believe that his manly military exploits have caught the attention of the monarch, and he is waiting at home, awaiting an invitation to pleasure Her Majesty at a later date.
Caught inflagrante delicto with a picture of a Lancaster bomber perhaps?
Pretend you're an average man having sex with a Lancaster bomber by being Mark Francois and having sex with a 1/72 scale model Lancaster bomber.
I reckon that once Francois has resolved his current indisposition he'll be a shoe-in for Miniature for Defence.
Death by horse dick.
In an infinite universe this will definitely happen to a Tory scumbag.
Arguing with himself in the bathroom mirror
is he tall enough to see over the sink ?
My nice tory MP Simon Clarke quit last week as minister and got kicked out by his wife over an (alleged) affair* with a colleague. People assuming it's a woman. But Mark has disappeared too. Makes you think, and you might need mind bleach when you consider he's 6'7".
*obviously conducted in a socially distanced CV19 compliant way, which might explain why the story has been supressed. Reeks of an injunction.
Oberleutnant Mark Francois is apparently on a covert operation.
If the wildly unsubstantiated rumours have any truth... he would need a stool (to stand on)
I thought I was better than that, but apparently not.
Francois in a gimp mask... try bleaching that from your brain..
On an o/t matter good to see the party of law and order assessing ex-Dover MP Elphick’s sentencing for three counts of sexual assault as an “excessive sentence”.
Francois in a gimp mask… try bleaching that from your brain..
Better than without...
Francois in a gimp mask… try bleaching that from your brain..
ann widdecombe will do it.
So what's the punishment if (as Twitter says) somebody has been voting on his behalf contrary to the rules?
So what’s the punishment if (as Twitter says) somebody has been voting on his behalf contrary to the rules?
It's a very limited and specific breach of the rules, so no bother.
martinhutch
It’s a very limited and specific breach of the rules, so no bother.
😁
In an infinite universe this will definitely happen to a Tory scumbag.
In an infinite universe it will also happen to you. Be careful what you wish for.
Mark Francois is an odorous little toad. His misuse of his proxy vote is just one more example of the erosion of democratic norms in the U.K. by the Conservative party.
Where is Mark Francois?
So many possibilities.
1. Fallen down the back of a sofa.
2. Disappeared up his own anus.
3. Disappeared up Dominic Cummings's anus.
4. Attending a conference for puffed-up, short, fat little tossers.
Of course, reading between the lines of a story from about a month ago.....there could well be another explanation.
Wasn't his last public sighting to threaten the head of the armed forces with Cummings?
...makes you think!
Is it not that he's just too small to see?
Maybe he's gone back to his old job advising Danger Mouse?
The hashtag on twitter suggests a huge step up from just being an odious shit.
The hashtag on twitter suggests a huge step up from just being an odious shit.
Go on, tells us what it is...
Just search for his name on twitter.
I'm sure this is not related to this discussion but I posted it here as it's an interesting article
Rotten to the core.
What a coincidence if he was to reappear
Just in time to help man a gunboat or a Lancaster bomber.
Could be that the Field Marshall is no longer on manoeuvres and ready to lead from the front again...
Dads army is going to need all the help it can get..
Maybe he’s gone back to his old job advising Danger Mouse?
Just seen this. I would have spat tea on my keyboard - if in fact I drank tea and using a keyboard. Despite the delay and other factors - it is still brilliant! 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
There's an interesting description of Francois in this article:
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/dec/08/codpieces-zeppelins-best-brexit
Fell out with Dangermouse.
Despite the delay and other factors – it is still brilliant!
It's nice to be appreciated, but to be fair I post so much twaddle I think is funny, it probably only represents a 1:100 hit rate. But thanks all the same.
It refers back to my default nickname for short, chubby, angry men - i.e 'Poison Penfold', which harks back to a journo years ago dubbing Jean Marie Le Pen as 'Poison Le Pen'.
^^^
I've totally saved that photo.
That is getting used again.
Shows how much attention I pay to British political shenanigans these days when I don’t know who the **** Mark Francois is!
don’t know who the **** Mark Francois is!
He's a tory MP who had a very visible role as a prominent brexiteer in the ERG, but then inexplicably disappeared from public view around the middle of the year. No-one seems to know why.
If you've missed knowing who he is then it's entirely possible you've missed some other key stories from this year. I'd dig some out and link them, but don't really have time, but someone else might in a post later on.
I saw him at the local pool and he was swimming widths.
Shows how much attention I pay to British political shenanigans these days when I don’t know who the **** Mark Francois is
If you want a crash course in Frank Mancois then you'll be able to find his Mexican standoff with Will Self easily enough
Francois orders Self to apologise to 17.4m Leave voters for saying that 'not every leave voter is racist but every racist probably voted leave'
Shit 4 brains missing the point
His disappearance from public view co-incided with a police investigation into allegations of rape and sexual misconduct against an un-named MP in his 50's who is a former minister; he is in his 50's and a former (very junior) minister.
Prior to his disappearance from public view françois was a regularly interviewed in the media about brexit; given his background, 6 months of silence on his favourite subject - well, it could be for any number of reasons.
Anyway, here's Guardian article.
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/dec/13/police-drop-investigation-conservative-mp-accused-rape
Shows how much attention I pay to British political shenanigans these days when I don’t know who the **** Mark Francois is!
Coming from you, that’s no great surprise.
To summarise, he is a pumped up, swaggering, short, fat, ranty, Brexity, pompous shit of the highest order.
He's now fapping himself raw at the chance to show all the people who used to take the piss out of him just what a prick he can be.
That just about covers it, I think.
Coming from you, that’s no great surprise.
Previous?
Do you need me to get you a room?
dannyh - that seems like you offering match-making services...
dannyh – that seems like you offering match-making services…
The existing grudge/needle thing always intrigues me.
Tis all.
Disappointed that he's not in the situation he might have been right now.
🙁
In the jail?
Whether or not it was françois, the complainant isn't letting go...
The alleged victim told the Sunday Times she intended to appeal against the decision under the victims’ right to review scheme.
Bump
Twitter speculates.....
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/may/17/tory-mp-arrested-on-suspicion-of-and-banned-from-commons-reports
He's been on a secret mission to the Outer Hebrides but bad weather / missed ferry / no trains / no planes / no automobiles means he may be a tad late tomorrow
Nah - I reckon he'll be fighting in a Ukranian steelworks 'cos he's nails hard.
Or maybe there is a more plausible reason for his current whereabouts. I'm sure he'll probably be in the HoC tomorrow though...
Check his wrists for cuff marks
Its not Mark Francois, which might surprise some on here...
He's Putin's last remaining General in Ukraine
Its not Mark Francois, which might surprise some on here…
Please let it be der Peffel, please.
I'm back hoping that it is either chope, drax, fabricant and will add gove to that.
Edit - despite the comment above in still hoping
Its not Mark Francois, which might surprise some on here…
I was disappointed for for the time it took wiki to remind me who Rosindell is.
To be fair he didn’t know it was illegal st the time.
To be fair he didn’t know it was illegal st the time.
And it was in the course of a day's work.
Although I've a very deep loathing for any blue-rosette wearing MP, I must confess that I'm not one for trial by social media or an outpouring of schadenfreude if one of the particularly obnoxious bastards mouthpieces are up in front of a court on charges of historic sex offences.
That'll be someone's sibling/child/loved one who'll have been on the receiving end of a particularly nasty assault, it's not for the likes of me to gloat. I do hope that whoever it was is subject to a fair trial and if found guilty that they'll spend the entirety of their sentence in a state of abject fear.
Although I’ve a very deep loathing for any blue-rosette wearing MP, I must confess that I’m not one for trial by social media or an outpouring of schadenfreude if one of the particularly obnoxious bastards
That’ll be someone’s sibling/child/loved one who’ll have been on the receiving end of a particularly nasty assault, it’s not for the likes of me to gloat. I do hope that whoever it was is subject to a fair trial and if found guilty that they’ll spend the entirety of their sentence in a state of abject fear.
Nicely put.
I'd certainly agree with that - all I feel is despair.
I'm not sure how we are supposed to reconcile that we have ended up in a situation where a group of people who are supposed to act with honesty and integrity, seem to personify the opposite of that.
I'd like to see some analysis of where the current crop of MPs (by party) sit vs the national average in relation things like this: accusations/cases of misconduct, conflicts of interested, fiddling their expenses, inappropriate workplace behavior, etc etc
Seems to me like we have institutional shit **** ery, and wide ranging reforms are needed to ensure that people like this don't get anywhere near politics, let alone be an MP in the UKs governing party.
I’d like to see some analysis of where the current crop of MPs (by party) sit vs the national average in relation things like this: accusations/cases of misconduct, conflicts of interested, fiddling their expenses, inappropriate workplace behavior, etc etc
I think in the aftermath of 'The Expenses Scandal' - if you compared the House of Commons against the wider population's behaviour in their workplace in relation to anything from expenses to nicking toilet rolls MPs came out as a fair bit more honest than the rest of us. A lot of what we think we remember about that event - the Duck Houses, the Moats - wasn't what it seemed to be. Llargely because of the way the Telegraph reported it.
MPs came out as a fair bit more honest than the rest of us
Don't include me in that. I've honestly declared where junior's address is even when I could have saved tax. I was the one who contacted the tax authorities to rectify. He's never claimed to live with his mother when living elsewhere to claim expenses and avoid tax.
I’m not sure how we are supposed to reconcile that we have ended up in a situation where a group of people who are supposed to act with honesty and integrity, seem to personify the opposite of that.
"We" chose them. Or more likely "we" chose them for the party they are representing which is the whole problem with current system but for another thread.
