[Closed] Where have all the manners gone?

I think there is just a general lack of awareness of others, these days.

At lunchtime today, I went to Asda, and three people had stopped at the top of the travelator for a conversation. Meanwhile, people pile up behind them, as that moving walkway doesn't stop for people having a chat.

Agreed. Fed up of holding open doors for people and not being thanked or seeing people push past my (6 yr old) kids in doorways as they try to walk through.

I like to think I am doing my bit by *constantly* reminding them to say thank you every time they are given anything, no matter how small, and I teach them to be clean, tidy & not drop litter. One of them even picks up other people's litter in the street and then complains about them being messy 🙂

You could try this

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Or this

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On a cattle-cart standing room only train pulling into leeds one morning i witnessed a guy sneeze into a woman's face with no apology or attempt to prevent it.
Appalling stuff, everyone was gob-smacked. 30s later the doors open and the bellend trots of like nothing happened

I do not miss commuting to work by train

There must be some geographical or cultural variation going on. I don't really recognise this as an issue.

Manners started to die out when gentlemen stopped wearing hats.

Bring back hats.

There must be some geographical or cultural variation going on. I don't really recognise this as an issue.

lucky you. Nothing but c**ts around here.

These days NOTHING is more important than the self. Anything outside their immediate personal circle doesn't even appear on their radar.

Manners started to die out when gentlemen stopped wearing hats.

Long before that, ever since they banned shooting peasants it's been downhill ever since....

These days NOTHING is more important than the self.

My pet peeve is people standing in the doorwyas of trains and bitching and moaning when you ask them to either move down the train or be let passed.

I think it's down to the increasing infantilisation of society - and as anyone who has kids knows, they think they're the centre of the universe.

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^ See! ....Nae Hat. 😉

These days NOTHING is more important than the self. Anything outside their immediate personal circle doesn't even appear on their radar.

You say that as if "they" is everyone.

It's just a tiny percentage in my opinion, and has always been the same.

I got flattened and badly bruised when a woman rushed in front of me to dodge through a closing shop door without touching it, letting it slam in my face.

That was 38 years ago and I was 5 years old.

It's nothing new.

2 incidents in the last week.

1 - out walking with the kids and on a narrow piece of path we (4) come across two women standing having a chat, they have 3 dogs between. As we reach them to go past, one of the dogs starts barking and straining at the leash, manages to get closes enough to my youngest for her to have to get out the way. My kids are quite comfortable and confident with dogs but all four of us were trying to get out the way. Then the woman turns to her dog and says "it's OK, you're all right". I ushered the kids aside and expected an apology and since one was not forthcoming I had words with them, to the effect of So long as fido is ok never mind people just walking along and told her to get grip.
2 - arrived early for my train yesterday and was one of just 2 people standing at the door waiting to get on, by the time they open the doors (15mins later) 2 women and one man in the now quite large queue just barge past.

It's the end of civilisation. It really is. Really.

My interactions with young people (daughters are 13 and 10) have shown me a far better mannered, polite and helpful bunch than my generation of 70-80's kids ever were. It's the lack of lead in petrol dontcha know, perhaps.

Hmmm .. I just assumed that it was a London thing, but maybe people are horrible selfish idiots all over, and it's just that there's more people here to start with..

1 - out walking with the kids and on a narrow piece of path we (4) come across two women standing having a chat,

This sort of "femme-spreading"(*) is not restricted to the Tracys and Sharons. The posh mummies round here also occupy the entire footpath with their baby buggies obliging passers-by to walk in the road.

(*) (c) DrJ

Those mummies that *really* boil my piss are the ones that are stood right by the zebra crossing outside school after they have dropped their darlings off and when you stop to let them cross you realise they are just having a chat and not wanting to cross at all. Stand somewhere else ****wits!

No wayyyy I was thinking idily about this today when battling thru town walking to bus stop and people jumping cues at shops.

I find it's usually the super dooper " important folk " eith money and should know better but then that's just my belief.

Suppose the rich rude folk havent got to where they are today by being polite!

I woukd generally in your situation on the tube do a massive guff and that should, just should see them wiped to the ground where you can use them as steps.

🙂

This sort of "femme-spreading"(*) is not restricted to the Tracys and Sharons.

johndoh - Member
Those mummies that *really* boil my piss are the ones that are stood right by the zebra crossing outside school after they have dropped their darlings off and when you stop to let them cross you realise they are just having a chat and not wanting to cross at all. Stand somewhere else ****!

+ 1 this happened today on my way to work and getting bus back people who sneeze without covering their god damn mouths/noses and continue as if it's their gid given to spread their shitty diseases.

Makes me livid and gets to point of just turning round to give them a massive dirty eyeballing if they say anything then it'll kick off.

Dirty bastads

When I was little we raised our caps to all the motorists who stopped at the zebra crossing - school rule!

I think it's down to the increasing infantilisation of society - and as anyone who has kids knows, they think they're the centre of the universe.

+1

Home rule (old version), kids get up and offer seat to grown ups on public transport. Bizarre situation today when old people get up to allow little kids to sit down and/or families think its ok for little ones to sprawl across several seats with the feet on them too.

Oh and when was it ok not to take your rubbish with you???

Breakdown of social fabric in the sloppy age that we live in.

Was walking up town earlier. Was going through a bottle neck and this woman was climbing all over the back of me trying to get past. He reason for almost tripiing me up was so that she could go and block the pavement at the back of the bus queue that I had to squeeze through - not a single one of them mvoed either. Stockbridge in Edinburgh.

Oh and when was it ok not to take your rubbish with you???

That's quite OK as long as you put it carefully under the Tube seat.

Apparently.

It's a population density thing imo.

Thank goodness I live oop north and in the sticks. Lovely polite, friendly people around here (until they get in a car).

As soon as it's spreads here, I'll go somewhere where there are even fewer people.

Where have all the manners gone?

UP YOURS! 😉

Where's your manners? Round the corner picking up dogshit

That one's for the benefit of anyone who was at primary school during the seventies 🙂

I went to Asda, and three people had stopped at the top of the travelator for a conversation.

Those mummies that *really* boil my piss are the ones that are stood right by the zebra crossing

It's the end of civilisation. It really is. Really.

Manners started to die out when gentlemen stopped wearing hats.

There is no such thing as society: there are individual men and women, and there are families.

Was waiting on the station platform last night for our train to arrive.
It pulled in (terminus stop so everyone is getting off). Immediately, almost before it stopped, everyone on the platform was clustering tightly round the doors.

Doors opened and there was a guy with a bike trying to get off; no-one on the platform would budge, everyone was there elbows out waiting to get on board. In the end the guy just slammed his bike into the crowd and barged through.

Whatever happened to just standing aside, waiting for everyone to disembark and then boarding? I of course was standing well back out of the way cos I'm polite like that.

I think it's down to the increasing infantilisation of society - and as anyone who has kids knows, they think they're the centre of the universe.

No, it's down to public transport being overcrowded and margaret thatcher.

And she's probably to blame for the public transport anyway.

has this just become an airing of casual annoyances?

may I offer; people who rush into the cinema just as the film is about to start arms full of "oh so tasty snacks" to help them get through the agonisingly empty hours of the film, and barge past to get to their seats. I understand no-one really wants to sit through 20 minutes of being advertised at, but really is a little bit of thought for your fellow cinema go-er so out of the question?

Sorry, yes.

people who rush into the cinema just as the film is about to start

Do they then chatter for the first 10 minutes of the film, and dash off as soon as the credits roll?

People have been writing for hundreds, if not thousands, of years that this generation is terrible and the end of civilisation and not like their well-behaved generation at all.

If you're thinking like this then you're just getting old. Nothing to do with changing standards. 😉

People with good manners are a minority and suffer discrimination in a mannerism of speaking.

I see a lack of basic manners such as saying the word thank you. Its an easy word to say, doesn't take up any effort or time. Also it takes little effort to raise a hand in thanks when letting out a driver.

For most of this year I've been partially disabled and have been astonished at the number of people who have just let a door slam in my face, have almost knocked me over, or have made no effort to help when I've been struggling.

On the plus side, every single one of my family and friends who are bringing up children, are teaching them good manners. It gives me hope

People have been writing for hundreds, if not thousands, of years that this generation is terrible and the end of civilisation and not like their well-behaved generation at all.

"What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets, inflamed with wild notions. Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them?"
Plato in the fourth century BC

OP has a point about trains though!

If you're thinking like this then you're just getting old. Nothing to do with changing standards

Nail on the head.

If you are one of the ones moaning, then you are simply getting old 🙂

You are saying exactly the same things your parents said while you were rolling your eyes and ignoring them.

terrahawk - Member
There must be some geographical or cultural variation going on. I don't really recognise this as an issue.
lucky you. Nothing but c**ts around here

Well I'd add a +1 there too but here in Shiny Town we all just dodge out of the way of each other, it's an Art form I tell you.

The Tube (Jubilee), well yes it gets rammed but in general it's well behaved. Other Tube lines are proper grotty though, hate them.

I too think it's the class of person you mingle with. 😆

Nail on the head.

If you are one of the ones moaning, then you are simply getting old

You are saying exactly the same things your parents said while you were rolling your eyes and ignoring them.

Nope; as it's not just youngsters, everyone is at it it seems

Nope

Yep.

Has always been the same.

You just didn't notice, or let it bother you, until you got old and moany.

(I'm just old currently, haven't got moany yet)

Yep.

Has always been the same.

You just didn't notice, or let it bother you, until you got old and moany.

(I'm just old currently, haven't got moany yet)

Probably 😉

This was written in 20BC, manners have been on the slide for some time...

[i]Our sires' age was worse than our grandsires'. We, their sons, are more worthless than they; so in our turn we shall give the world a progeny yet more corrupt.[/i]

It's all the fault of mobile phones

Evening. You can spot those who won't say thanks a mile away. I still hold the door etc though. If its a parent with children (bloke recently with circa 10yr olds) I said 'THANK you, manners don't cost you know'. They never reply back - probably embarrassment or 'whatever mate' attitude..

I'll still be polite though.

CaptainFlashheart - Member
Manners started to die out when gentlemen stopped wearing hats.

Bring back hats.

For most of this year I've been partially disabled and have been astonished at the number of people who have just let a door slam in my face, have almost knocked me over, or have made no effort to help when I've been struggling.

🙁

Just got back from taking Mrs MR to the local health centre to see her GP. Recently epileptic and stressed dog made it necessary I stayed in the car to tend, so I saw her quickly up the steps and to reception. She has a shoulder-sling fitted and requires an elbow crutch. On her return to the car she related quite sadly that a whole waiting room full of people watched her struggle to get through the door, and not one of them offered assistance.

Would a random room of people in the same town have behaved any differently in 1935?

Probably.

I'm so glad I don't ever need to use public transport!
I can't bring myself to let women drivers out at junctions anymore, I got fed up with letting them out and not getting a nod or wave of thanks. Sorry ladies if you can't show manners you can wait!

I like to get a run up before exiting a train perpendicular to the platform edge no exceptions I'll take anyone out.

I always try to walk on the road-side of the pavement if with a female companion

Good manners are a great asset to anyone, however it might be time to let that one go 😉

In 2015, it just seems to be slightly more "sexist" than it is "good manners"

went to see Bond last friday.

A couple in their late 20s sat down next to us and as the "how to behave in a cinema" instruction film came on the woman commented on the "[i]Please - no talking[/i]" bit of the film with "[i]that must be aimed at the Asians[/i]" and laughed - they were both Asian so no casual racism on their part.

This seemed quite an odd response under the circumstances... right up to the point the opening credits started rolling and they started talking very loudly, joking, texting, checking voicemail... after about an hour I asked the bloke to cut the chit chat because it was ruining the experience - got a mouthful in response from him and his Mrs and then had to put up with them deliberately talking even more loudly for the whole of the rest of the film.

I can't be bothered going to the cinema again - it's the same pretty much every time we go now - I don't get why people don't just wait and see it on iTunes at home if they don't actually want to watch the film, not least when they've paid extra to sit in the nice seats and make a night of it.

as a cyclist who uses a lot of SUSTRANS paths,quite a lot of great outdoors walkerists and some doggerists fail to acknowledge my cheery hello, etc, and strangely enough most teenagers always say thankyou or hello back

[quote=Malvern Rider ]She has a shoulder-sling fitted and requires an elbow crutch. On her return to the car she related quite sadly that a whole waiting room full of people watched her struggle to get through the door, and not one of them offered assistance.

This is a tricky one though. My instinct would be to get up and help, but experience suggests that many people who appear to need help value their independence even more and would rather struggle but do it all themselves.

I think on balance for somebody with issues which would make using a door particularly difficult I would get up, but not without a sense of worry that the person might not appreciate the help.

Just5minutes- next time pop out, explain nicely and they'll be moved.

I think it's down to the increasing infantilisation of society - and as anyone who has kids knows, they think they're

What I don't understand is being expected to give up your seat to a child on the tube/train? When I was small I stood up to let adults sit down, I want my payback now you little shits. 😈

With the doors thing I just say "thanks, no no I insist after you" if I get no acknowledgement, not expecting a thanks but a nod or slight smile costs nothing.

I had a Mexican standoff last weekend, both of us insisting 'no I insist, you first' 😆 I could see he had more steely-eyed determination so I relented.

IME east Europeans are MUCH more polite. Maybe it's a religious upbringing installs a bit of politeness as a side effect.

Edit.

In general agreement. I used to love getting off the train with my folded brompton. It's a useful battering ram. Just5mins: that happened to a friend of mine. He stood up and shouted 'will you shut the fu<k up!' There followed complete silence for the rest of the film. It was a beautiful moment.

"I always try to walk on the road-side of the pavement if with a female companion"

I always do this with my wife and she really appreciates it. Nothing polite about it, it's just how a gentleman should conduct himself.

IME east Europeans are MUCH more polite. Maybe it's a religious upbringing installs a bit of politeness as a side effect.

Really? IME on the aforementioned Jubilee line the East Europeans are all talking loudly and playing videos on their phones with the speakers on. Lack of manners is universal.

Last time I was in that London, I helped several ladies who were obviously struggling with large heavy cases. They looked proper stunned when I offered. (wish I hadn't as their cases were bloody heavy!)

Going back to manners, if I stand out of someone's way or hold a door open for them and I get no acknowledgement, I usually say rather loudly "YOU'RE WELCOME". Still get ignored, but at least I feel better!

Nothing polite about it, it's just how a gentleman should conduct himself

... In the 1840's

🙂

I've been working in London for four weeks now and I still don't understand why people run down the escalators to get to the trains. The trains come roughly every minute. What difference does it make?

And the next person who blatantly goes and stands in front of me on the platform when I'm virtually at the edge of it is going to get pushed into the tracks.

Oddly, I've founds that the buses in London are a far more civilised and relaxing place to be, so I'm sticking with them now during rush hour and only using the tube during the day to get to meetings.

Evening. Bensales, when I lived in Croydon people used to run down the sides of slamdoor trains and hang off the doors and fall daily. Madness as trains were every minute. It was almost like Godzilla was behind each person..

The last time I stood up on the tube to give my seat to an older person half the carriage looked away the other half looked at me as though I was weak. These Captains of industry in their Next suits and Dorothy Perkins dresses stating at the weak..

Good for you robdob, me too!

But a hypocrite today as left some rubbish on the train 😳 did feel bad about it though....

The only rudeness I feel day to day is from drivers - awareness of others seems to evaporate.

Day to day, I meet a few stroppy teens and kids, but that's not new.

Most folk I meet here are great, a few numpties around, but not many. Most of that is lack of awareness, not lacking manners.

apparently they went when buster bloodvessel left.
I see the same happens when you giving way to other cars. Must be a european thing and seeing as we are also in europe should we adopt the same approach.

The kids in schools are very polite and hold doors. Must be their oldies 🙂

In London, people are generally reserved, but they are not generally ill-mannered. The culture is to keep yourself to yourself, which I imagine is the case with all big cities.
It's a vicious cycle - if people act reserved to you, you are more likely to become reserved.
The worse behavior I see is on the roads, rather than public transport, more often than not an Audi driver for some odd reason (it used to be BMWs).
I generally find people friendlier and more open to a chat the further north I go.

Now I'm feeling like a massive sexist for mostly walking on the road side of the pavement.

Now I'm feeling like a massive sexist for mostly walking on the road side of the pavement.

I always thought it was just chivalry.

The problem with a lot of people nowdays is that they feel that their "rights" and "entitlement" come above those of others. We're all doomed! 🙂

I think on balance for somebody with issues which would make using a door particularly difficult I would get up, but not without a sense of worry that the person might not appreciate the help.

I know what you're saying. Mileages vary - I've always tended to offer first and worry later. One or two longfaces when you 'get it wrong' don't erase the countless smiling ones. For the years I was in a wheelchair I don't remember ever once feeling offended if someone offered help, ie if I'd dropped my bag or was struggling through doors etc.

Sometimes I'd be grateful and say 'thanks' and accept the help, it certainly made my day easier to bear - not to mention smoother-going. Other times I'd be similarly grateful - yet knowing I could manage myself would say 'I'm ok thanks'. Always careful to smile. Small things. I don't get scowlers. * 'em. They ruin it for everyone else. Some of the bastards get their enjoyment from ruining it for everyone else. Misery loves company etc..

Back to the wheelchair - I do remember being annoyed when people would talk to me as if I was 5 years old tho, and at those **s who go 'awwwwwww' behind yr back as if they've just seen a retarded penguin chick being fed with a bottle by a kitten. Could have been my haircut, I suppose...

I've been working in London for four weeks now and I still don't understand why people run down the escalators to get to the trains. The trains come roughly every minute. What difference does it make?

Not to mention shouting at people to get out of the way - even elderly people - and shoving past. It's not "reserve", it's horrible rudeness.

An African friend of ours who is aged about 50 told me recently that when she was a child Britain was admired up as the model of good manners and civilisation. She lives in London now and says all that seems to have disappeared - but maybe the old foreigners' image of the British is a bit old-fashioned.

IME east Europeans are MUCH more polite. Maybe it's a religious upbringing installs a bit of politeness as a side effect.

Come to Cambridge in the summer, when we have about 30k language students in town and you'll soon realise they're way worse than us. They walk in groups blocking the entire pavement and won't give way to anyone. The amount of litter they drop in our parks is astronomical, it's as if they make an effort to ensure they take nothing with them when they leave and have been brought up to drop all waste / packaging on the floor / grass as they use it.

Doesn't hurt to be polite