[Closed] Where else am I supposed to shave? (old man confused by fashion content)

In the bathroom.

Have you received a casting call for the next Magic Mike film? If not then I doubt anyone's looking at your pastey moobs and thinking "they'd look better if he only shaved them".

I shaved my chest once, it looked odd and itched lots. I've not done it since.

I do however shave my legs and trim downstairs. But then I don't shave my face.

So yeah, do what you want.

Where will it end???

It (fashion) never ends. It loops forever.  Creating jobs, babies, deely boppers, holed-denim, orange-face, animal-cruelty, pollution, Tilley hats, corduroy, reverence and ridicule along the way.  It's here to stay, so learn to take the rough with the smooth.  Or not.

While we are at it, what sort of cruel joke was being played when nature decided that we didn't need hair on our heads when we got older, but additional hair on back, shoulders, nose, ears and extra around bollox would do just fine?

While we are at it, what sort of cruel joke was being played when nature decided that we didn’t need hair on our heads when we got older, but additional hair on back, shoulders, nose, ears and extra around bollox would do just fine?

Gravity innit, 50 years of gravity means stuff just gets dragged down.

Marketing looking to sell more stuff no one needs.

Bit like when Male Grooming products were advertised a few years ago.  In my day blokes didn't moisturise, only girls.  Blokes don't need hand bags either.  But businesses are always on the look out for new customers, so they will continue to brainwash idiots.

There is the one about footballers needing special shampoo for heading the ball.

I shave my pits, but not for fashion reasons (who the hell cares about having fashionable armpits?).  I started doing it when out in Florida one year, it was blisteringly hot and I was sweating like Jimmy Savile at a school disco.  I kept on with it as it seems more hygienic, no more 4pm Total Deodorant Failure episodes on a summer's day.

That advert prompted a lot of 5.5 year old boy's questions.

Cougar - but what about the itching? Do you shave the pits daily?

I tried once a few years back out of curiousity, seemed to be more sticky/sweaty due to the lack of hair inbetween the skin pressing together and my god the itching after a couple of days was horiffic! Every arm and body movement hurt in new ways.

Was a similar experience when I tried the chest (out of curiousity/wife nagging) but minus the increased sweatiness.

I'm generally hairy.

As per Cougar, I trim my pits down. Means roll-on antiperspirant actually has some chance of reaching skin and being effective.

Keep my danglies neatly trimmed too - otherwise I can't see the wood for the shrubbery.
Looks nicer, feels nicer, and protects against Klingons too.

Trimmed though mind. Not baby smooth. That just looks odd.

Had this discussion with some ladies in the pub - fashion innit, everyone has to look like those utter bellends off Made in Chelsea or Love Island. Same with the weird eyebrows women have.... Sorry state of affairs where those people are societies role models. But then... like the OP, I am old (and proudly hairy)

Keep my danglies neatly trimmed too – otherwise I can’t see the wood for the shrubbery.
Looks nicer, feels nicer, and protects against Klingons too.

Try not shitting on your balls.

I'm with Cougar (not literally, but, well ye know), Though I use the unguarded clippers for the pits, and the 4mm guard for chest and the man regions. Feels a lot cleaner, and no one wants to see a man region that looks like a burnt out railway embankment.

fashion innit, everyone has to look like those utter bellends off Made in Chelsea or Love Island. Same with the weird eyebrows women have…. Sorry state of affairs where those people are societies role models.

Yeah much better back in our day. No one looked like a bellend back then...

While we are at it, what sort of cruel joke was being played when nature decided that we didn’t need hair on our heads when we got older, but additional hair on back, shoulders, nose, ears and extra around bollox would do just fine?

There's two theories.

1) Keeping hair coloured and just keeping it in general requires energy from the body, whilst your young a nice head of hair helps attract a mate so has some purpose, once your past ~35 your dead in evolutionary terms and your body is on it's long slow decline to the grave.

2) Gray hair is seen as a sign of being old and wise so the younger members of your tribe are less likely to leave you for the sabre tooth tigers.

The first is considered more likely, the latter is what people with gray hair tell themselves.

Sauce: Radio 4 a couple of weeks ago.

Try not shitting on your balls.

This is the kind of advice I come to STW for.

Yeah much better back in our day. No one looked like a bellend back then…

Funny pic, but misses my point by quite a few miles 😛

So redheads are eaten by sabre tooth tigers, even though old. No wonder we are so rare! Is confused...

Epilation not shaving. Legs only. To cycle shorts Epilation of the underarms does not sound fun. Elsewhere? Well I guess you have to pay good money for that in licensed establishments. Or so I am told.

I was aware we are encouraged to keep downstairs tidy

Really?

In my day

I love fashion threads on STW.

Moar of “back in my day/when I wer nipper/ya neuw wer ya stood/it wer much simpler” and add “lyke” to all those..

Ya..

Cougar – but what about the itching? Do you shave the pits daily?

Do I buggery, no!  Life's too short for that.  I redo them when I look in the mirror and think "hm, they need doing again," it's in the order of months.  Armpit hair doesn't seem to grow particularly quickly for me.

Like NoBeer, I use unguarded clippers.  It's a bit of a fiddly area for me to have dared taking a blade to so far.

I shave my head because I’m bald. Shaving foam is nonesense too. I just shave my head whilst showering and then tidy up neckline and the hair that’s so high up my cheeks it’s almost in my eyes.

who’s doing the ‘encouraging us’ to tidy up downstairs, armpits etc? I just want to know so that I can laugh at them.

Keep my danglies neatly trimmed too – otherwise I can’t see the wood for the shrubbery.
Looks nicer, feels nicer, and protects against Klingons too.

I have been alive for 40 years and I can honestly l say I have never had a klingon on my balls, well certainly not since coming out of nappies.  What the hell are you doing for that to even be possible?

What the hell are you doing for that to even be possible?

I think it's fairly clear.  Just imagine, for a moment, they're not his own klingons.

When did shaving your tackle become a thing?

jonnyboi

Member
When did shaving your tackle become a thing?

Posted 1 minute ago

Around 5000 BC

I guess it depends whether your OH considers flossing her teeth a chore or a pleasure.

That and if mine gets too long it rubs my bell end whilst cycling in winter which is f***ing painfull.

Thank you Thisisnotaspoon, I just read this thread whilst I'm on a rather boring conference call and hit your reply. I am now sitting hear, with tears rolling down my cheeks, trying very hard not to burst into a fit of childish giggles, and my colleagues staring at me wondering what fit I'm having.

Shaving your nads is itchy as hell from my brief daliance with the subject. A bit of trim yes, but any more, no way. The GB track team were encouraged to give it up weren't they - too many saddle sores.

When did shaving your tackle become a thing?

Its the 11th commandment, "Thou shall shave thy knackers and feel the breeze ".

Regards the OP real men have hairy chests, so brothers kneel with me a give thanks to his holiness....

Mr Magnum PI

Around 5000 BC

That when they made the first porn films?

I have been alive for 40 years and I can honestly l say I have never had a klingon on my balls,

Clearly you need to go to more Cosplay conventions. 😂

What the hell are you doing for that to even be possible?

*sigh* I wasn't suggesting that the trimming stopped at the balls. If you are mowing the lawn and trimming the rockery then you might as well do the edging around the back porch while you are there.

What niche bespoke razor for ball and arse crack shaving?

Gillette do a trimmer razor combo, that could work

How the **** can you possibly see what you are doing when trimming the back porch? You would need to live in a house of mirrors would you not?

Put a mirror on the floor propped against a wall and look between your legs?

Put a mirror on the floor propped against a wall and look between your legs?

That’ll provide some amusement for the folks at A&E

Put a mirror on the floor propped against a wall and look between your legs?

I'm sure you'll find that that is what the front facing camera on an iPad is for

apparently...

Mrs Sims would go Batsh!t if I used her ipad for that!

there is no need to press record, really

It's pretty easy to do it by feel.

If not, then find someone that you trust to identify your elbow and label it. The other bit will be your arse.

With regards to that particular advert: I for one think it’s refreshing to see the rufty-tufty world of football finally embrace such bold homo-eroticism, Flying in the face of any archaic ‘don’t drop the soap in the showers’ references of yesteryear

I haven’t heard any yet, but I feel pretty certain that opposition fans, when visiting Anfield, may well have have conjured up one or two witty dirtties regarding the chest shaving adventures of the squad

I've given up.  Anything under my clothes can do what it likes, no one's going to see it .

How the **** can you possibly see what you are doing when trimming the back porch? You would need to live in a house of mirrors would you not?

You develop a very good sense of touch...

Rong !

You are all approaching this conundrum rong...

3.6 ltrs of Veets finest.. slather liberally with a 100mm brush, making sure you navigate the nooks and crannies of your human frame, stand in the shower, arm yourself with a shower capable of producing the water pressure force which would aid take off of Space X’s rocket..

Wait...

Noooooooo... waaaaaaiiiiittttt..

Don’t be tempted to scratch.. not yet anyway..

Ok! S.H.O.W.E.R... noooooow !!

there is no need to press record, really

How else will you show improvement for appraisal?

Anyway , I suspect the internet giants would press record for you and then bombard you with manscaping product adverts

Hmmm wouldn’t recommend veet on the plums.

Theres reasonable wet body shavers you can use which will give you a nice finish and you can get some Nads after wax/shave stuff to rub in which works good on nads.

Allegedly 🙂

What about that floss they use on hairy cheeks (requote as you see fit) in the turkish barbers?

I vaguely remember some good product reviews on veet on amazon dunno if there still there but def STW styleeee 🙂

I prefer a man to be hairy rather than shaven, but then I am an old git 😉

“otherwise I can’t see the wood for the shrubbery.”

Graham - pubic hair falls out when it is 1 inch long. In other words, it reaches a length of 1 inch then falls out, so is never longer. One. Inch. Yes. One inch. You might want to go back and edit that reply... You’re welcome. #JustSayin 😉

First pube I pull out at random to test that idea measures up at three inches.

If my pubes fell out at an inch long then I wouldn’t bother trimming them.

It’s the ones reaching my knees that I worry about 🤣

I always love these threads, just finding out what you lot get up to is just really fascinating!

anyway, try being female for a few days.... 🙂

It’s the ones reaching my knees that I worry about

Pubic platts, they are the fashion for 2019 I heard....

So, last night, I turn off my Sky box, TV defaults to a channel with that Naked Attraction programme on. Not a hair in sight - 4 women, 1 bloke. So damn weird. I don't want to mention "childlike", but I have to - is that what all men [i]want[/i]??

That show utterly baffles me - I can't imagine being so desperate (to get on TV? for a partner?) and to have to stoop so low as to be examined naked... imagine your son or daughter on there! Why is it even a TV programme!?

yours,

Baffled, Norwich.

I kept on with it as it seems more hygienic

You have armpit hair for a reason. It is nature's roller bearings. "Hygiene" in this context is a myth, and not an urban one.

To answer anybody asking "when did all this start?" the answer is the 1980s. With Mark Wahlberg and that levis launderette ad. Everything changed around then, a bit like Larkin's 1963, but not in a good way.

is that what all men <em class="bbcode-em">want??

Well no, obviously. There are plenty of specialist web sites that reveal the full spectrum of what people can find attractive.

But bare or neatly trimmed is definitely the more popular look at the moment, possibly influenced by porn (though you could counter-argue that porn just reflects what people want to see).

imagine your son or daughter on there!

Worse, imagine being the son or daughter watching their mum or dad on there!

You have armpit hair for a reason. It is nature’s roller bearings.

Why are my roller bearings getting bigger as I get older?

Didn't I need them more as a kid when I spent all my days running about?

How do so many female athletes manage to move so well without bearings?

Nico

You have armpit hair for a reason. It is nature’s roller bearings.

Surely pubes are more of a bushing?

Surely pubes are more of a bushing?

anyway, try being female for a few days….

Try being a bloke (the internet reliably informs me you can get a harness that you strap on to replicate most issues).

On the rowing machine yesterday I got a bollok trapped dangling down the leg of my boxers, every stroke for the next 10 minutes the poor bastard got squeezed and abraded before poping out and dropping back down again on the return. But damned if I'm stopping to put my hands down the for a rummage and letting the guy on the next machine think he's beaten me (be honest, rowing machines are always an unspoken race).

Frankly "my boobs jiggle a bit when I run" just doesn't cut it.

I vaguely remember some good product reviews on veet on amazon dunno if there still there but def STW styleeee

https://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R3GDDEL1SC1QQ5

So, last night, I turn off my Sky box, TV defaults to a channel with that Naked Attraction programme on. Not a hair in sight – 4 women, 1 bloke.

I've caught that "accidentally" as well.  I don't know if it's just de rigeur at the moment or whether it's done for TV (must be a hell of a job being in the make-up department if so) but you're right, there's not a public rabbit to be seen.

You have armpit hair for a reason. It is nature’s roller bearings. “Hygiene” in this context is a myth, and not an urban one.

I'm struggling to see why I'd need roller bearings in my armpits, but myth or no I'm a lot less sweaty / stinky without it.

To answer anybody asking “when did all this start?” the answer is the 1980s. With Mark Wahlberg and that levis launderette ad

It was Nick Kamen.

So, last night, I turn off my Sky box, TV defaults to a channel with that Naked Attraction programme on

Haha, I love the excuses men come up with for watching shite - 'the wife was watching' or 'I was flicking the channels' are two of the usual suspects... 🙂

 flicking the channels

I've not heard it called that before.

I was also 'flicking the channels' (and I'll admit it, i love shite TV so I'm a right little FLICKER at times - I love the border patrol and cops chase genres, plus that one where people shout at each other repeatedly before a man makes some indecipherable noises and then someone hands over a wad of cash for a shipping container full of shit)  I digress.

And i too came upon* some 'not supermodel quality' nudity and was gobsmacked when t'wife walked in. She then confessed she too has watched 'an episode or two'.

* i could also phrase that better

Thoughts:

- 99% of the population looks better with their kit on. Some of these folks (I draw no distinction between sexes here) would have got a second glance in the street, some even a sneaky turn around and glance at the rear view as well. But with kit off - wobbly bits, saggy bits, no-one came out that well TBH.

- I half wanted to get my body conscious 14 yo to look at it...... for that ^ reason; people you'd say were quite decent when clothed look nowhere near the airbrushed perfection of popstars or models on the beach in Bermuda. Equally, I think I look crap when naked but clearly I'm not actually that awful compared to Joe Average and he was happy to go balls out on national TV.

- the 'pornstar' look is just fine - for pornstars. For the average person - let's say I prefer some lettuce on my kebab rather than staring at the full horror of the greasy meat flapping out. Yes, i know it's there, but i don't need to see it.

- staring at winkies while your wife is in the room is disconcerting. More so when she exclaims at one of them.

- Lastly, i was disappointed no-one did that 'legs astride, get the M/2V swinging and then clamp your knees together to leave it out the back' a la the Alan Partridge window scene.  Sure fire way to get selected, I'd have thought.

lol @ JV!

I’m a right little FLICKER at times

Damned kerning.

[i]Haha, I love the excuses men come up with for watching shite[/i]

Haha! I love the predictable responses when you do mention catching something shite accidentally!

My story was true, but I did sit there for 20 minutes aghast. But quite liking the boobies too. (And amazed at the lack of erectile function)

(Er, the fella on the telly's!!) 😆

was gobsmacked when t’wife walked in

Caught glansenhans?

I believe the correct response is "Thank God you're here!" 🙂

rufty-tufty world of football

Can’t tell if Binners is joking 😕