[Closed] When you know something you didn't want to know!

but it's none of my business really

I'd say it is your business, given you respect your boss.

I'd want to know.

Damned if you do. Damned if you don't. Rock and a hard place. Catch 22. Pick one.

Threesome, at least you'll get something out of it then?

[i]is this the correct course of action?[/i]

You have 2 choices;

1) say nothing now and then be accused of knowing all along and betraying her by your boss when it eventually comes out.

2) say something now and be accused of betraying your friend.

It's about who you want to upset least really.

Not a position I'd like to be in, tbh.

Hob nobs anyone

dob them in and get a payrise 🙂

I'd want to know.

But I'm not sure my response would be rational towards the person who told me

When your boss finds out - and boy will she find out - your best mate's position in work will most likely become untenable. Where will that leave you, especially if your boss thinks you knew about 'IT'?

You can't easily rat out your mate... but perhaps a discussion with her ref. playing with fire will get her fired?

Basically, this is your mate's deal, not yours.

I'd be telling her that.

no there is no easy fix to this situation.. you've been put in an awkward situation through no fault of your own..

I would use this as a sign that the cosmos has a different plan for you..
Let this be the thing that persuades you to run away and start a new life.. follow a pipe dream, and be sure to nick as much money from the company as you can to fund your adventure..

leave them to sort it out between them..

[i]Threesome, at least you'll get something out of it then? [/i]

😀

Send her/boss' hubby a note?

[img] [/img]

my best mate at work

How did you "find out" could the boss "find out" this way as well?

Yell your mate of your dilemma and that she has put you in the position of possibly having to lie and be dishonest. Give her an ultimatum that you will tell your boss unless it ends.

I think I might know you in real life. 😳

ROFL @ Fuzzy - think I'll pass on that though thanks 😉

You have 2 choices;

1) say nothing now and then be accused of knowing all along and betraying her by your boss when it eventually comes out.

2) say something now and be accused of betraying your friend.

My friend does not know I know. Lets just say I saw something I wasn't meant to see, but I don't think they saw me. I did think perhaps my eyes deceived me, but my friend was sat in front of me in a presentation yesterday texting him. I wasn't mistaken.

I don't know what to do for the best. My boss and her husband are about to go on holiday together for 3 weeks - maybe the affair is a temporary bout of insanity, and it will end of its own accord, but that's probably an unrealistic hope!

I worry that if I do say something to her, that her husband will have covered his tracks and will deny everything, as will my friend, and I'll look like a s*** stirrer. I haven't breathed a word to anyone at work, I am just considering my options - none of them seem good!

Incidentally, my boss and her hubby had an office affair and left their respective partners for one another a few years back.....pattern, methinks.

Tell your mate you know then see what she does.

blackmail 😉

Hang on a minute - is your boss married to [url= http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/anyone-else-getting-unwanted-attention-from-the-opposite-sex-at-the-mement ]Ski?[/url]

[i]pattern, methinks. [/i]

I tend to think anyone in a relationship where one or both of them previously had an affair to get them together is deluded if they're expecting it to never happen again.

Klunk's on to something...

Imagine what your mate will do for you... I bet she has a better stapler - you could have that. And maybe her chair's a little more comfortable? Have that too! Meanwhile, pass on the most cryptic of crypic comments to your boss, for back coverage purposes.

Then, you get (a) a nice stapler (b) a comfy chair and (c) immunity when the BOSS FINDS OUT. 😉

just setup a new email address and send your boss an anonymous mail telling her.

Blackmail = even Jesus wept.

Difficult to dob in your best friend.

1) Tell your boss.

2) Sleep with your boss? Is she a looker?

3) And relax.

Jesus would.

Put it on the company notice board, photos and all.

Haha camo, unfortunately my mate doesn't have anything I want 😉

They both have kids - it's awfully sad really.

My OH says stay out of it, pretend you know nothing, but it's hard to do that when you're sat next to someone and they are texting your boss's husband in that way....and then for me to have to try and pretend our friendship is still the same. urrrgh.

Tell your boss, she will be upset, slip her one to comfort her, she then happy, you smoke cigar, job done!

edit: you have now revealed you have an OH, my suggestion may complicate things to the point of your brain exploding.

No win situation here.

Well its on the internet now, so all will be out soon.

Let your boss know in an anonymous way, so nobody knows it came from you.

Have you got a large noticeboard in the office? One they use to make really important announcements about changes to the pension scheme, and stuff......

[i]Tell your boss, she will be upset, slip her one to comfort her[/i]

isn't littlemisspanda a woman?

Not that comforting her boss is out of the question but I'm not sure it would be a called that?

My friend does not know I know

Given this, as difficult as it maybe, I'd agree with your OH and stay out of it...its bound to all come out sooner or later then you just have to feign surprise

My OH says stay out of it, pretend you know nothing,

No offence, but that's because he's a dude. He's already thinking of the fall-out and that's not something he wants to think about.

I know this because I, too, am a dude. 😉

On the other hand, I also inhabit an Internet forum, which means I can come up with whatever badly conceived advice makes me happy, safe in the knowledge that there will be no comeback. 😀

So, the question is this: who do you trust more?

If you've only seen texts are you sure there's something actually going on?

She could be stalking him!

isn't littlemisspanda a woman?

let me just hang on to that image a while..... 8)

All these people suggesting threesomes and "slipping the boss one" and the like - you can read the OP's username, yes? You realise what that means? not that it's wrong or in any way to be discouraged, just that certain acts may be a little more difficult

as to the OP - tough one. If your boss and her hubby are indeed going away, take advantage of that time to tell your pal that she's dropped you in a situation and had better do something to ensure you're not left in the shit

I'd stay well out of it. Its their problem when it comes out. Let them deal with the fallout. Manwell has the answer....

Tell your boss gently.

If you've only seen texts are you sure there's something actually going on?

See, I imagined LMP's best mate as Linda Fiorentino, the boss' husband as the random sucker in the Last Seduction and some fence-related steamy sex scene. 😉

If this didn't happen, colour me disappointed.

I tend to think anyone in a relationship where one or both of them previously had an affair to get them together is deluded if they're expecting it to never happen again.

seriously though, I would try to erase the knowledge from my mind and then stick the blinkers on. Don't get involved, it is difficult to see how this can possible end well for anybody, including you.

Well its on the internet now, so all will be out soon.

Yup. Because these two people are the only ones in the world having an affair.

Anyway, just rat them out via a third party. Pay some hobo £5 to make the call to your boss.

Which do you value more?

Your job and relationship with your boss?

Your friendship with your colleague?

People who have affairs are by definition cheating, so I don't have a great deal of respect for those sorts of people. Having said that, it's not your place or responsibility to inform any-one, they're all adults after all. Boss is unlikely to ask you what you knew in all honesty, she'll feel like a fool anyway, she won't want it rubbed in face by asking you whether you were aware of it, it'll just make her feel even more stupid.

My advice? Ask your college to call it off

you absolutely lose every way this gets played..

you tell mate to stop and your a bad man in her eyes..

you tell boss and your a bad man in everybodies eyes..

you do nothing and boss finds out and will assume correctly you knew so your a bad man.

the solution is as cryptic as the problem..

tell best mates partner/husband.. or make him aware in some other way..let him spread the 'glad' tidings..

or just leave the details on this page and someone is sure to let it slip..

If neither party know that you know then keep schtum.

Before you go for Jamie's suggestion, LMP, remember that he oversees a disreputable Hobo rental business and at least 90% of his workforce will use your £5 plus phone silver to procure hard cider. 😉

Well it's at least cheered me up seeing some of the advice on here 😀

Yes, I am female.....and straight, so that course of action isn't really an option, but at least we think outside the box on here 😀 😉

I saw more than just texts, we'll leave it at that....your imaginations will probably come up with a much better scenario anyways, so I'll leave you all to just imagine what else I may have seen!

From a male point of view here 🙂

But if nether think you know anything (friend does not know you know, boss knows sod all) then when it all kicks off [b]"you know nothing"[/b] how can anyone accuse you of anything?

Keep well out of it!

I saw more than just texts, we'll leave it at that....your imaginations will probably come up with a much better scenario anyways, so I'll leave you all to just imagine what else I may have seen!

You saw your mates fluff? 😯

8)

I have a mate who is a serial cheater, he just can't help himself. He can't explain it himself, he did have a very screwed up upbringing with a vicious overbearing mother whose accent would cut glass but who would make the beast with two backs with anyone.

Cant see a happy ending in this one, as it stands no one knows you know so sharpen up your acting skills for when the inevitable happens.

Get a PAYG sim for you phone. Text your mate that you know she is having an affair and it ends or you go public. If you have the husbands number text him at the same time. I'd imagine it would end pretty quick and the status quo would return.

Someone told me he'd slept with two hookers on his honeymoon.

I kept my mouth nailed shut.

(Except on a public forum) 😆

new anon email account. Email your mate.

I know what you've been up to. Stop it or I'll tell XXXXX

And when/if they get found out, you never knew anything.

I kept my mouth nailed shut.

That's not what binners said (c'mon it was an open goal!)

No-one knows you know.

The right thing to do is tell your boss. However, no-one will thank you for it. Your friend (or to give her the correct definition, co-worker) will hate you for it if she finds out, other employees will see you as a grass and not trust you to keep secrets, and your boss might even associate some of the blame with you directly or indirectly for being the bearer of bad news or not saying something sooner.

So doing the right thing aside, the most sensible course of action is to keep out of their way and say nothing.

No, he actually likes me to do that to him on our weekly S&M sessions. Its not that I particularly want to, but he always insists on being the dominant one. I think its because of the leather corset which goes with the role 😥

Someone told me he'd slept with two hookers on his honeymoon.

I'd have asked where the other one had come from.

c'mon it was an open goal!

Which, ironically, was what Binners actually said.

I'd have asked where the other one had come from.

Sale Sharks.

The longer this goes on the more poo will hit the fan when it comes out. Your friend shouldn't have told you and put you in this position. I'd dump her before she starts on [b]your[/b] other half.
Tell her that if she doesn't come clean then you will. Naturally she won't, so it's up to you to tell your boss as a true friend should. Also, being friends with the boss will mean you'll still have a job at the end.

my 2p's worth

but at least we think outside the box on here

Yes but saddly that thinking is only about getting inside the box 😉

Cant see a happy ending in this one

Suspect the bosses husband has seen one.

Do what my wife does its a 2 part strategy.

Unload burden. Tick, you used internet much better than making me feel guilty about as wife would.

One month shopping spree to cheer herself up, simultaneously filling the house with tat.

I hope this helps.

Your friend shouldn't have told you and put you in this position. I'd dump her before she starts on your other half.

She didn't tell me. But she also hasn't been very careful to hide her phone when I've been close to her and she's been sending those texts!

I don't think either of them know I know, they certainly haven't said anything to me if they did clock me when they were in their "compromising position".

So maybe, if nobody knows I know, it might be best I keep my gob shut and allow what will be to be. I guess one of them might grow a conscience/get worried about being caught and end it before it comes out - I doubt it, but they might!

Panda, serious advice, you have to stay out of it.

Then go shopping. 🙂

just rat them out via a third party

If you go for this option, commission wisely.

"This is an anonymous warning that your husband is misbahving with whoever. I have enclosed picture evidence. Also check phone logs for 22nd July, his sent emails on 19th June and be at the Ramada Plaza on Friday afternoon if you want to see the truth.

Cheers

Danny B"

Personally, I would tell your boss.

As mentioned above, I can have a hobo dispatched to your office within 24hrs to inform your boss. I can even supply a backup hobo, free of charge, to supply chocolates and soothing sounds as her world implodes.

Do what you said in your OP. Keep schtum and play dumb.
Their mess, let them sort it out.
They might have picked out each other's car keys at a party. You never know...

Jamie, if Hora grows a beard, he could be the ideal for the role of second hobo, in your scenario. Loves that shit, he does.

I'm in a similar situation at my work and I find it really annoying as I'm now in charge of their dirty little secret. I plan to keep schtum though, and maybe distance myself a bit from the people involved

Jamie, if Hora grows a beard, he could be the ideal for the role of second hobo, in your scenario. Loves that shit, he does.

Hmmm. That may work out, Binners. Plus he can be paid in vulnerable woman on the rebound.

Exactly! Its a win/win! And he saves on Rohypnol as an added bonus

Just chiming in to make aware of this fantastic pun that everyone seems to have missed:

[list]thinking outside the box on here[/list]

In the context of giving your boss a rodgering I found that certified hilarious.

Moving on. I'd want to be told if someone knew my partner was being unfaithful - as would you I imagine.

If you like your boss then it's clear who the better human being is between your boss and "your m8"

My advice? Hack the phone, steal the noodz, email to boss, enjoy lulz

Just chiming in to make aware of this fantastic pun that everyone seems to have missed:

thinking outside the box on here

[img] [/img]

[i]fantastic pun that everyone seems to have missed[/i]

Aside from Junkyard, yes...

Aside from Junkyard, yes...

I did notice it, but thought it was a bit on the [s]chin[/s] nose, so left well alone.

I guess we all could have continued to make amazing "box" puns for the next 60 minutes.

"BOX" eh? Sounds a bit like er... COX!

Cheers

Danny B

Set up dannybgoode@hotmail.com. Email them, sign with this signature. 100% correct course of action.

Gold star bearneccesities.

Hmm..bad puns....rat them out via a 'trunk' call?

Blackmail the boss's husband. Here is a starter:

Dear boss's husband, I know your secret. Leave a size medium carbon fibre Ibis with full XTR in the bike shed by 1200 tomorrow or I will expose you. I'll figure out what tyres to use thanks.

Just email your mate a link to this thread 🙂

When you say it's likely that you'll be asked if you knew anything about it, do you think that's definitely the case? i.e. is the company large enough / the connection to your boss remote enough that you may actually be able to keep a low profile and it never be known that you knew?

When you say it's likely that you'll be asked if you knew anything about it, do you think that's definitely the case? i.e. is the company large enough / the connection to your boss remote enough that you may actually be able to keep a low profile and it never be known that you knew?

Nope, I work in a small team, so the connection is not remote, we are a fairly close knit lot. Too close in some cases, clearly! :-O There are some other connections as well that complicate this further but I don't want to divulge too many details about those involved, this is a public forum after all....but if those involved don't know I know, then that makes it much easier to keep schtum.

I did wonder who would pick up on the box first 😉

Set up to record the meeting where you divulge all this to everyone. Resulting carnage gets 68 trillions hits on YouTube