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I don't understand it. When people ask me what I do, I usually reply something along the line of "ride my bike a lot" or "Running" or anything I do for fun. The last thing I think about is what I do for work. That's just to pay the bills and to fund the things I enjoy doing. I find it odd that people want to talk about my job and nothing else. Unless they do the same job somewhere else of course.
Then on game shows on TV, people seem to get introduced as their job role first. Why is that? Unless you're solely into your career, there are far more interesting things about people that their job.
I just tell them it is all classified information and move on. I mean damn the ambiguity of the English language…
So what do you do?
Edit: To be fair it is a way of showing interest in someone that you have just met, asking them to talk about themselves.
Then on game shows on TV, people seem to get introduced as their job role first. Why is that?
Tired and worn out father of three who spends his working time dreaming of winning the lottery so he doesn't need to work at his banal admin job ever again, and spends his free time looking for the cheapest way to get so drunk that he doesn't have to think about how his dreams evaporated once he met Rita when they were 18. They are hoping to win the jackpot so they can go to Las Vegas to renew their wedding vows in the hope that they might find something to say to each other.
It's too long and depressing, I think?
I don’t understand it.
It's not an attempt to label or rank you, unless you are talking to a total prick; it's just curiousity and something to talk about. I've had some interesting chats with people based on their jobs and also their hobbies - feel free to answer that instead.
On game shows they also say where the person's from. That doesn't matter any more than what they do.
Slacker/bozo.
I guess it's an easy way of defining a person and getting an idea of who they are. Probably a good thing if you have a career/profession to be proud of and that you enjoy. Less so for the rest of us.
Totally agree OP, it's weird.
It's the single thing i spend most of my time on, other than sleep. Well, trying to sleep.
I wish it wasn't, but these things do happen.
davros
Free Member
Slacker/bozo.
'Dark Lord of Skaro' has a nice ring to it though.
It's a phatic expression. It's not really intended to be an informational exchange, just a social exchange to show interest in the other person. Yes, it can be tiresome but it's better than everyone staring at their shoes umming and ahhing and not knowing what to say. Giving a smart-arse reply just shows that you aren't interested in making any effort at being sociable.
this (although, not heard that term before. Nice. EDASD!)It’s a phatic expression.
It's generally just an ice-breaker. I've actually only ever done one thing work-wise, it's reasonably skilled & I'm quite good at it and find it quite interesting so don't mind talking about it 😃 That said, maybe I would talk about my hobbies, depends on context I suppose.
EDIT:
yep, or big warning klaxon of a Colin Hunt type at parties (see below 🤣)Giving a smart-arse reply just shows that you aren’t interested in making any effort at being sociable.
I agree I hate all that willy-waving.
I usually just make something up on the spur of the moment, Test Pilot or Rocket Surgeon usually
A bit like when someone says 'How are you?', they aren't expecting a full run-down on your rectal prolapse.
Some once did ask me what I do for fun. I found that so refreshing and it actually started a proper conversation.
Edit: To be fair it is a way of showing interest in someone that you have just met, asking them to talk about themselves.
I was at a wedding and during the "standing around with a glass of fizz whilst photos are taken" bit I ended up standing by the partner of an old school friend, who had been standing on his own.
"Hi", I said, "Is it Phil? I'm Simon, Sara and I went to school together".
"Alright."
"What do you do Phil?" I asked, for the purposes of making general chit-chat.
"You're not really interested are you, you're just asking that to make small talk"
Well f__ you Phil, stand on your own then.
I usually just make something up on the spur of the moment, Test Pilot or Rocket Surgeon usually
you are peter griffin and I claim my £5
Some once did ask me what I do for fun. I found that so refreshing and it actually started a proper conversation.
I do my job well, but I get much more satisfaction from achievements in my hobbies than work.
“You’re not really interested are you, you’re just asking that to make small talk”
Well f__ you Phil, stand on your own then
Ask them what they do for fun then.
Yeah it is a weird one, I love my job and people generally find it interesting so I’ll happily talk about it if they want to
But if I hated my job yeah I’d hate being asked what I do all the time. I think your approach in that case OP works, just answer with a hobby
Although personally as someone who used to hate their job and changed as a result (spending 5 years getting GCSEs and a degree, not just applying for a new job) I’d say that maybe the fact you’re so upset by an innocent question says something about how you view your situation, maybe go after the root cause of that
I find "what are you into" gives someone a chance to talk about something they're actually interested in. It's a bit wider - I too think my job is tedious and even I don't want to hear about it, let alone inflicting it on someone else.
Noone has yet said "BDSM" or other questionable response, but there's loads of time yet...
Also, I like phatic, I didn't know that word - thanks!
Some once did ask me what I do for fun.
I've worked with a few people who you are much better off asking about their job than their fun.
I usually just make something up on the spur of the moment, Test Pilot or Rocket Surgeon usually
After introducing yourself as Walter Mitty?
To be fair I would be fascinated in further details concerning the "Rocket Surgeon" job. I've been told a few times at work that I needed a rocket up my arse, never fully understood what that involved.
yeah but if everyone did that routinely you'd no longer find it refreshing, and just start making stupid shit up about that instead 😃Ask them what they do for fun then.
maybe the fact you’re so upset by an innocent question says something about how you view your situation, maybe go after the root cause of that
I'm not upset about it. Just find it weird. My job is a respected career but I value my achievements outside of work far more.
I find “what are you into” gives someone a chance to talk about something they’re actually interested in.
That's a good approach.
yeah but if everyone did that routinely you’d no longer find it refreshing, and just start making stupid shit up about that instead 😃
Not really. Hobbies are the things people choose to do. Work is something we have to do. Sure there are some people who do a job they love and put their life into it. I respect that. But that's not very many people.
I find “what are you into” gives someone a chance to talk about something they’re actually interested in.
Uuuuuhhh, socialising, you know. Going out with my friends. I loves travel - going to Blackpool next month. Hobbies? That's really old fashioned innit? Maybe I should start train spotting, ha ha!
I'd probably rather hear what someone's job is than their hobbies, because:
Uuuuuhhh, socialising, you know. Going out with my friends. I loves travel – going to Blackpool next month.
when people ask ‘How are you?’, they aren’t expecting a full run-down on your rectal prolapse.
Their loss. Rectal prolapse were great when I saw them at the Marquee in '87.
I’d probably rather hear what someone’s job is than their hobbies, because:
+1
I often chat to other riders about my work / their work / industry / technical fields on rides etc. Given you spend more time working than anything else (other than sleeping) it's a pretty big part of your life whether you like it or not.
'What do you do for fun?' sounds too much like a question that requires a thought out response and lots of self justification.
'Well, I like mountain biking but I found I wasn't enjoying it much anymore since my fitness took such a huge nose dive after the kids were born so I started trying to train more so I could start enjoying it again. I found I never wanted to train in the evenings so I've started waking up at 4:30 to train before I have to get the kids to school. I really struggle to function if I don't get 8 hours sleep so I basically go to bed when the kids go to bed which means all the cooking, cleaning, and general looking after the kids has to be done between getting home from work and going to bed.
At the weekends I try to get out on the mountain bike but I'm often pretty knackered and the kids always have somewhere to go and something to do which disrupts the whole weekend.
I know it sounds like I resent my kids and my entire life basically revolves around them while I try to cling onto a semblance of health with my finger tips but I really love them. Honestly, I do, they're great....
They're great...
So, how about you, what do you do for fun?'
Nah, think I'll stick with, 'What do you do?'
I usually just make something up on the spur of the moment, Test Pilot or Rocket Surgeon usually
Which works right up until you find someone who actually does that or who knows of someone...
Heard a story (from an interviewer) of a candidate who'd put something on their CV about some extreme sport or other which was suitably niche. All went pear-shaped when the interviewer said "I see you're into [sport], the best man at my wedding was [name], you must know him?"
"err...no"
"Oh, that's unusual cos he's [sport champion] and is very well known..."
And the lies quickly unravelled.
‘Well, I like mountain biking but I found I wasn’t enjoying it much anymore since my fitness took such a huge nose dive after the kids were born so I started trying to train more so I could start enjoying it again. I found I never wanted to train in the evenings so I’ve started waking up at 4:30 to train before I have to get the kids to school. I really struggle to function if I don’t get 8 hours sleep so I basically go to bed when the kids go to bed which means all the cooking, cleaning, and general looking after the kids has to be done between getting home from work and going to bed.
At the weekends I try to get out on the mountain bike but I’m often pretty knackered and the kids always have somewhere to go and something to do which disrupts the whole weekend.
I know it sounds like I resent my kids and my entire life basically revolves around them while I try to cling onto a semblance of health with my finger tips but I really love them. Honestly, I do, they’re great….
They’re great…
So, how about you, what do you do for fun?’
Nah, think I’ll stick with, ‘What do you do?’
But that's much more interesting that work.
what are you in to?
There's a whole load of danger in that question!
What about ‘Who are you into?’
I would assume that historically its just as much about weighing up a person's usefulness and social standing in society, and goes some way in forming a bond of trust.
Personally, I'm not all that interested in what people do for work and probably greet such questions with a degree of suspicion, because of the above.
But that said, I generally enjoy my job, to the point where I take an interest in it outside of work, so I'd happily talk about it to anyone that had a genuine interest.
But I do work for the Government and there are parts of my work i can't talk about. Other bits, I'm more than happy to divulge, in fact it is part of my job to do just that.
How do i answer, to avoid being boring and/or a smart arse?
‘What do you do for fun?’ sounds too much like a question that requires a thought out response and lots of self justification.
‘Well, I like mountain biking but I found I wasn’t enjoying it much anymore since my fitness took such a huge nose dive after the kids were born so I started trying to train more so I could start enjoying it again. I found I never wanted to train in the evenings so I’ve started waking up at 4:30 to train before I have to get the kids to school. I really struggle to function if I don’t get 8 hours sleep so I basically go to bed when the kids go to bed which means all the cooking, cleaning, and general looking after the kids has to be done between getting home from work and going to bed.
At the weekends I try to get out on the mountain bike but I’m often pretty knackered and the kids always have somewhere to go and something to do which disrupts the whole weekend.
I know it sounds like I resent my kids and my entire life basically revolves around them while I try to cling onto a semblance of health with my finger tips but I really love them. Honestly, I do, they’re great….
Only if the question is asked to a total dysfunctional. Regardless of if it the usual dull "what do you do for a living?" or a (imo) more refreshing "what do you do for fun?" both the questioner and the questioned know it's an icebreaker. A potted summary is sufficient regardless of the response sought.
My two more broad thoughts on this are a) Isn't it so terribly sad that society at large labels people by income stream above all else and b) How many people might struggle to answer "what do you do for fun?" because they either don't do anything for fun because of lack of time or have no ambition to do anything for fun even if they did. Watching TV, drinking on my own, going shopping, ****ing to porn, or standing watching my kids have fun at the thing I've just driven them to is I suspect the sum total of most adult men's honest responses to leisure time pursuits.
b) How many people might struggle to answer “what do you do for fun?” because they either don’t do anything for fun because of lack of time or have no ambition to do anything for fun even if they did. Watching TV, drinking on my own, going shopping, **** to porn, or standing watching my kids have fun at the thing I’ve just driven them to is I suspect the sum total of most adult men’s honest responses to leisure time pursuits.
'What do you do for fun?'
'I rage against the unfairness of a life that condemns me to what is effectively indentured servitude in the name of the continuation of society and weep for the dreams I had that have now fallen by the wayside as I watch my body and mind atrophy from lack of use.
How about you?'
How about you?’
[thread turning dark]Regular idle consideration about if the alternative to continuing existence is maybe not a bad outcome, all things considered. [/thread turning dark]
I see we're channeling our inner sixth-formers today.
Maybe jobs are seen as less private than what you for for fun.
I think work topics tends to be 'safer'. I ask what you do and you say "ride my bike a lot", I might assume you are one of those red light, traffic sign ignoring idiots... who I hate and try to drive over in my A7 Range X5. If you say civil service I say oh that sounds interesting and quickly move on to the next person.
I think if you asked a lot of people what they do for fun they would say "dance and drink and screw, Because there's nothing else to do".
I don't mind talking about my job, it's really easy to make it sound a lot more exciting than it actually is - but yeah, I do get slightly bugged by the "I'm Brian, I'm 45 and I'm a gusset inspector" on TV game shows. Like, your job is what you are. I've made a rule never to go on a TV gameshow, so it'll never happen to me.
How about "how was your weekend"?
‘What do you do for fun?’
That's a dangerous opening gambit because you might get a rabid football fan and then you're going to get talked at for the next half hour.
I've told people "Mountain Biker" before, but sometimes they actually listen to the answer and then I have to explain that in fact no, no one is going to pay my middle-aged, over-weight arse to ride a bike, sadly.
I've had worse though, I had to go to the home of a Vicar once to ask to get married in his Church, he asked me what I "read". "Comics mostly" I replied jokingly, not really knowing what he meant. Turns out he wanted to know what I studied at Uni, when I told him I hadn't gone, he looks at me as if you would a rotting bird at the side of the road, half pity, half disgust. Luckily my Wife has two degrees in completely different fields so they chatted about all that jazz for half an hour, but that's how he worked "Oh, you'd like Sally, she read Literature at Bristol, oh and Simon read History at Bath" and I'm thinking these people are in their 50s at least, does something they did in between pints of snake bite 3 decades ago that important?
That’s a dangerous opening gambit because you might get a rabid football fan and then you’re going to get talked at for the next half hour.
Sounds perfect. I can now stand about at the awkward social occasion, drinking my beer and look like I'm talking to someone without needing to use much more than paraverbals and a passing knowledge of which colours hate which other colour.
Most of the time I just reply "Stuff with computers", or just "computers". That seems to put most people off.
I tend to say ‘work in a shop’, see if they think I’m worthy of their time.
It’s the shittest thing to ask.
Or the Frank Skinner reply
‘I just **** and watch the racing’
Maybe just try "I've been away for a while"?
I do get slightly bugged by the “I’m Brian, I’m 45 and I’m a gusset inspector” on TV game shows.
I get more bugged by the 'I'm a senior gusset inspector' reply, as if anyone cares that you're not the junior in your department any more.
I normally say I'm the company fairy
I do all the jobs that just happen without anyone noticing.
i have a neighbour who is a police detective. i have to avoid him because all i want to do is ask him about his job. all the questions i have from reading crime novels and watching the bill.
when asked and i tell people that i’m a house husband, they usually ask what i used to do. “computers”. they then ask if i miss it!
Heard a story (from an interviewer) of a candidate who’d put something on their CV about some extreme sport or other which was suitably niche. All went pear-shaped when the interviewer said “I see you’re into [sport], the best man at my wedding was [name], you must know him?”
“err…no”
“Oh, that’s unusual cos he’s [sport champion] and is very well known…”
And the lies quickly unravelled.
I resemble this remark...
Done almost exactly the same with the CV, except it wasn't a lie (obviously).
Interviewer asks if i know Mr X
"Errr, yeah, know him for years. I'm going to his 50th at the end of the month."
"Oh, small world, so am I."
"i'll see you there then."
Was a bit embarrassing in the end, as i turned the job down...
It always irritates me on guided riding holidays when some people do this on the first night.
I've gone on holiday to ride my bike and not think about work.
If you want to start up a conversation how about something we all have in common on a riding holiday 😉.
i have a neighbour who is a police detective. i have to avoid him because all i want to do is ask him about his job. all the questions i have from reading crime novels and watching the bill.
I ain't saying nuffink till I see Burnside!
It's just a lazy way of making dull conversation. I don't really care what other people do for a job, maybe after a few years I might ask.
Ironically, since I have stopped doing McJobs and got salaried employment in a FTSE company, nobody asks anymore!
If you want to start up a conversation how about something we all have in common on a riding holiday 😉.
Thing is, by the end of my one and only "riding holiday", I went to bed early 'cos if I heard one more conversation about tyre pressures I was going to chin someone 😉
Maybe riding holidays aren't for you then.😛
Asking what folks do is fine by the end of the holiday when you've got to know them but on the first night seems a little odd.
Most folks I stayed friends with that I've meet on holidays have never asked about anything to do with work.
how about something we all have in common on a riding holiday
How did you convince your better half to let you go on a biking holiday?
How did you convince your better half to let you go on a biking holiday?
She's the one that books them so neither of us have ever been asked that question.😎
"as little as i can get away with"
"what are you in to?" makes agreat, direct response though, i like that.
"what do you do"
"What are you in to?" 😉
She’s the one that books them
Ahhh, so that's who the lady undoing your stem bolts was!
I agree I hate all that willy-waving.
I usually just make something up on the spur of the moment, Test Pilot or Rocket Surgeon usually
When i had a real job, it was very much a 'city' thing. It always baffled me really. Out of all one is, people who have no originality seem to want to define one by a job role.
Just be glad you're not asking that question in the Welsh Valleys. Most of them reply with something like "I'm a builder, I am!". It's almost like they have to either confirm it to themselves at the end or are just shocked they actually have a job! I know it's just a local way if speaking but it always cracks me up at how it makes the person saying it look and sound like the village idiot.
Some once did ask me what I do for fun.
Same here. The look on their face when I replied "I arrange via social media to meet up with people in a designated place in the forest. Some of us will be prepared for the day's activity but others will have to get changed into appropriate clothing or adjust their equipment first. We then all go exploring the woods until we're all muddy, sweaty and tired then we go back to the meeting point, get changed our of our muddy, sweaty clothes and go home after agreeing to do it all again soon.". What I wasn't expecting was the reply back of "Me too, love a bit of re-enactment role play! What era do you prefer?" 🤣
Apparently the Queen was once, on a visit to a shipyard in Newcastle, overheard saying indignantly "Well I work very hard too!".
A loyal subject had just told her "I work for Cunard".
Well I mostly enjoy my job and others are interested in it (see other long thread). But for fun I ride fast bikes a long way and slow boats a lock way.
I actually find this thread fairly interesting.
I'm a musician. For the most part, I love it although being a self employed musician has historically been fairly high stress and low to medium financial reward endeavour...then Covid happened.
Whenever I get asked what I do for a living and respond with musician, I reckon that about 75% of people respond along the lines of 'oh wow that's so awesome'. For the most part, I still think that it's awesome myself. It's a major part of how I define myself I guess, and given that I come from a fairly underprivileged background I'm really proud of my admittedly fairly modest achievements.
During Covid I had to work part time as a supermarket delivery driver.... when they hear this, people seem to act as though I'd been struck down by a terminal illness! Increasingly in our weird little 'image is everything ' society that we've evolved, doing something like working in a supermarket seems to be something that people sneer at. I often find though that the people doing the sneering were probably earning the same if not less than I was at a supermarket when staff discount etc was taken into account....and they were themselves doing an admin based job 'in recruiting' or 'in sales' with a lifestyle based on unaffordable cheap finance and their 'quaification' for their job invariably being a 2:2 in some random shite combined with the ability to not really need more from life than a 9-5 to fund an Audi on lease.
For the most part I didn't mind work as a Supermarket delivery driver, it felt like 80% of the time that I was being paid to listen to 6 Music. I do however, much prefer having my career as a musician back (even in it's somewhat depleted post-covid state)
Standard barber question (pre covid and subsequently replaced by doing it myself):
Barber: so what do you do for work?
Me: office work
Barber: is that computers and stuff?
Me: yes
Barber: [cursory chit chat session has now concluded - silence commences until end of haircut]
< 10 minutes later >
Barber: there you go - would you like to see the back?
Hmmm. I usually apologise about what I do.
Due to working at height, I normally get responses of:
Oh I couldn't do that.
That sounds really exciting.
In reality it's just another job but hanging from a rope and invariably in discomfort. Sometimes coupled with crap weather, too hot or crap condition
‘Well, I like mountain biking but I found I wasn’t enjoying it much anymore since my fitness took such a huge nose dive after the kids were born so I started trying to train more so I could start enjoying it again. I found I never wanted to train in the evenings so I’ve started waking up at 4:30 to train before I have to get the kids to school. I really struggle to function if I don’t get 8 hours sleep so I basically go to bed when the kids go to bed which means all the cooking, cleaning, and general looking after the kids has to be done between getting home from work and going to bed.
At the weekends I try to get out on the mountain bike but I’m often pretty knackered and the kids always have somewhere to go and something to do which disrupts the whole weekend.
I know it sounds like I resent my kids and my entire life basically revolves around them while I try to cling onto a semblance of health with my finger tips but I really love them. Honestly, I do, they’re great….
Shit, we'd be discussing this for hours. Maybe we need a support group?
Whenever I've told people what I do for work they usually say "oh wow that's exciting" no, it's really not. It's dull and I want to ride my bike now.
I resemble this remark…
Done almost exactly the same with the CV, except it wasn’t a lie (obviously).
Interviewer asks if i know Mr X
Something sort of similar happened in an interview I had once. One of the panel saw i'd played football for my Uni. He'd played for a rival Uni 30 years before and could remember that they'd beaten us in a big game. I then had to tell him i'd scored the winner in extra time against his team the previous year. He thought it was pretty funny. I got the job... and even better they'd accidentally advertised it in two places at wildly different salaries so i got lots more money than i'd anticipated when applying!
Tell them that you work in Macro Data Refinement but you can't talk about work stuff outside of work.
I think this just needs to be filed in "necessary small-talk". The person asking the question could genuinely be interested in what you do for a living regardless of how much you get paid or they could be judging you. But that could be said of anybody asking any question, about anything.
Is use that question as a filter, if someone asks that question almost as an introduction it can be quite revealing, they tend to be very happy to talk about themselves so I just give a non answer and probe them.
I forgot the coolest answer I heard to this question. Back in the 90's I was a sailing instructor and bloke on the course asked another what he did. "I'm a shopkeeper" was the answer. The question asker's tone from then on was a bit condescending in a - my job (computers) means I'm probably brighter and wealthier than you, and how can you even afford to be here -kind of way. The delicious way over the next couple of days it came out (from others, not our 'shopkeeper') that this very modest man was CEO of the John Lewis partnership was lovely to watch.