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Guy I sit next to at work - we get on pretty well as it happens, although he thinks Nigel Farage talks sense 😯 so we're not quite in the same place...
Either way, he told me the taxi he was in earlier clipped a cyclist because the driver couldn't be bothered to wait whilst the cyclist made his way across a roundabout 'but it's ok, he only clipped him' was tge response when I pointed out that should have led to a call to the Police...
I know he's trying to wind me up but honestly, since when did endangering someone's life become funny? 😯
The response is to not respond.
By responding, you pigeonhole yourself further into that dangerous place as a "cyclist".
We need to stop this bullsh*t thing of "the cycling community" and "cyclists". It's not a religion. It's a means of transportation or a hobby. Acting like some kind of evangelists does not help.
Go out and 'clip' his car with your bike.
Clip his face with your fist.
If he's just doing it to make you bite, ignore him.
If he is genuinely on the taxi drivers side, ask to move desks. Lifes too short to waste it with idiots.
Actually, ask him if it would have been ok to clip someone just because they were a woman, or gay, or disabled. If he then can't see why he is being a dick I suggest summary dismissal for being a waste of a desk
'Clip' him round the head with something big and heavy. Make sure you only 'clip' him, mind. Then it'll be OK.
Clip him round the ear?
Don't forget to roll around laughing after you have [s]bludgeoned him to death[/s] clipped him round the ear.
Show him some of the results of clipping cyclists, see if he's still laughing
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-25918390
http://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/death-crash-accused-driver-clipped-cyclist-1-2876489
http://www.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/10988393.UPDATE__Ebbw_Vale_driver_who_caused_death_of_Markham_cyclist_is_jailed/?ref=mr
yeah pointing out how dangerous something is such a faux pas, co-workers can rip the piss out of silly shoes, how much you spend on bikes and grown men in lycra, having a laugh about potentially killing people is not banter...imoActing like some kind of evangelists does not help
when he's walking to get in his tax home clip him with your car, at 50 mph, just clip him though, as that's OK. then get out the car and just slightly clip his face with your foot, 5 times.
and "cyclists". It's not a religion.
Damn. A gadfly asked me the other day if I was a christian. I said "No, I'm a cyclist".
I suppose I should go back and explain, then...
Sounds like your standard office windup merchant. No office is complete without one.
Seriously, I find "You're a <insert insult of choice, usually 4 letters beginning with 'C'> aren't you?" works quite well.
Equally suitable for people you like or don't like.
My response would be to tell them they're an idiot.
Is his name Colin Hunt??
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Tell him his mum gives lousy head??
(Take it down to his level)
Put dog shytt on his butties !
Just ignore the ignorant little toss pot,or even better ask reception to ring him and say the police are here looking for him, to give a statement about a cyclist being seriously injured by a drunk taxi driver.
Each time you walk past his desk, just clip it, or the back of his chair, with your hip..... See if that gets a laugh after a couple days.
There is some good sensible advice above, which you should follow (i.e. not letting him wind you up and ignoring him).
However, if he is a tool and you are immature (like me), then I would advocate such comedy classics as setting his stapler in a lump of jelly, as per a comedy episode of The Office. Even if he is not a tool, I would love to engage with such office high jinx if I could get away with it...
Almost every day I get comments about "bloody cyclists coming out of junctions without looking" and "every cyclist runs red lights" and how they like to point their screen wash to one side to squirt cyclists.
It is a case of 'obvious troll is obvious'. Best not respond, or if you do, I strongly recommend project's idea of making him brick it. 😀
life is too short....just laugh at him, whilst telling him he is foolish.
It would seem to fit in with some research stats i heard today, 93% of motorists think that cyclists are too hard to see open your 'kin eyes like the other 7% then FFS. But yes just clip his chair a few times and project +1
Isn't it an offence to fail to report a collision if you're in a car which is involved in one...?
If it is, I might ring the Police from my desk on Monday and tell them what he told me - when he's sitting right alongside, and then pass the phone across and tell him the Police want a word...
Honestly, this kind of crap really has to have consequences...
life is too short.
certainly will be long as cars hitting cyclists is perceived as acceptable behaviour
You need a sharp , cutting witty response that will cut him in half.
What's his hobbies, interests etc.. find his weakness.
If he likes farage.. Keep banging on about how you love all foreigners and what positive contributions they make to the country.
Tell him you shagged his Mrs, but not to worry as you only just clipped her sides 😉
Find out the name of his cab firm, then randomly order pickups in the idiot's name from your workplace at the wrong time, inconveniencing both the firm and the idiot. Hopefully they'll blacklist him and he'll have to buy a bike to get in.
Tell them about that hilarious time you clipped a woman pushing a pushchair?
Some people are just dicks
do you have a stapler? just keep stapling him and saying "hahaha I didn't seeyou" *staple* "hohoho, I didn't see you AGAIN!" *staple* *staple* "soz mate, you were right in the way of my stapler LOLZ!" *staple*... "did you know how intimidating it can be for a cyclist huh??" *staple* *staple* *staple*..."hey come back! there's nothing to fear!...put this Hi-vis on so I can see you..." *chase with stapler*
I think laying a log in the top draw of his desk is now perfectly acceptable. If that's a bit difficult (open plan office for example), then rimming his mouse is ok too.
Reccommend him my plumber.
Sounds like he knows how to wind you. Just like Jeremy Clarkson does alot of people on here
Do a poo in his desk drawer.
andyrm - MemberÂ
The response is to not respond.By responding, you pigeonhole yourself further into that dangerous place as a "cyclist".
We need to stop this bullsh*t thing of "the cycling community" and "cyclists". It's not a religion. It's a means of transportation or a hobby. Acting like some kind of evangelists does not help.
This +1
I have policy on these things. If someone wants to act likeca **** I treat them like a ****. In a professional setting I might just say you're an idiot and then not talk to them again unless I have to. Life can be syressful enough without getting involved with ****s.
My manager started a "why do some cyclists..." conversation the other day after some thing that happened on the way to work. I just asked what it had to do with me and said I didn't represent all cyclists. I also pointed out that motorists killed 5 people that day (and every other day) but I didn't think that my manager was responsible for that.
I have decided that you have to confront this stuff head on with facts now, instead of tolerating it.