[Closed] What’s worse than swallowing a fly while riding?

Flying down a descent near Stirling and a wasp went into my helmet. Wee bastard stung me numerous times before I could stop and throw the lid off.

not being able to spit it out again?

Butterfly through the teeth, the bits of wing stick to your teeth like you wouldn’t believe...

Got a tiny fly in my eye a few weeks ago. Thought I'd got it out but an hour after getting home my eye felt weird, so peeled back my eyelid and saw the little sod crawling over my eyeball in the mirror.

Careful application of Optrex on a cotton bud removed it once the screaming stopped.

Swallowing 2 flies?

Murder hornets.

Youngest_oab was whizzing down upper red switchbacks and jumps at Laggan. Wasp down his jersey, stung him before he could pull to a stop. Third nipple time...

Wasn’t there an old lady who swallowed a fly once?

Falling off??!?

A moth going in your mouth and being sneezed out of your nose

Swallowing a spider? I mean, what’s worse than that?

Exactly the same thing happened to me yesterday OP. One of those horrible black flies out at the moment got in my ear. Thought it was never going to come out. Had to flush my lughole with my water bottle to try to drown it and at least stop the infernal buzz buzz buzzzzź! Thankfully it came out of its own accord. Had thoughts of it chewing through my ear drum!

Wasp in the helmet, happened to me on a road ride. Bugger must have panicked as it stung me, I was struggling to release the helmet clasp one handed. Managed to do it, threw the helmet of my head into a load of still wet sheep sh1t. My sunglasses went with my helmet into the steaming pile as well.
Going to get them back I got covered in it. Honestly, looked liked I’d rolled around in it.

Swallowing a spider? I mean, what’s worse than that?

Be careful, this approach can escalate quickly.

Having one shoot up your nose and take up residence in your nasopharynx - promptly followed by lots of sniffing, snorting and wretching to try and flush the bugger out again, and when it does it leaves in a pile of phlegm spat out of your mouth.

Man, so many bugs on last evening's gravel ride, going to stop using protein bars at this rate, getting more than enough from the local fauna.

Moth exploding on the back of your throat. Took me hours to get rid of the taste. Very, very bitter.

A guy I used to cycle with had a dog toffee flick up under his glasses. I think he ended up visiting hospital 3 times with issues arising. Dogshit is not 'pure'.

Finding half a worm in the apple you’ve just bitten in to.

I can't believe no one has posted the worst, which thankfully has never happened to me, riding through a dog egg and flicking some into your mouth

Going like the clappers between Garve and Strathpeffer (long time ago) a wee stone flicked up from the front wheel and whacked my epiglottis. Actually bruised it so badly that I visted the local A&E to check I handn't done some serious damage. To my embarrassment, the doc called the rest of the medics round cos he'd never seen such a thing and appeared fascinated by my now rather swollen member (yes I know where you think this is going - but do not go there thanks!!!).

Wasp in the helmet,

flies down?

Windy day, wasp flew into my mouth at speed, it immediately stung me on the side of my tongue. I crunched the little white and spat it out.

I think the people at Screwfix though the drilling guy who talked weird was a contenter for oddest customer of the day.

I couldn't eat/swallow for the rest of the day because my tongue was double it's usual size.

Many years ago, a bunch of us were road riding out to a local woods in close convoy at high speed tour de France style, when suddenly I saw everyone swerve around 'something'. My mate in front of me didn't notice and ploughed straight through a VERY decomposed badger corpse!! He literally sliced trough it like butter, bits of rotten flesh all up his legs, frame, tyres!! Oh the smell... I remember watching him trying to wash it off in a stream whilst dry heaving into his T shirt. Gotta be the worst...

What's worse? Being swallowed by a fly while riding. No question.

At the moment flys are more nutritious than my 3 year old energy bars. But I bought them and I'm determined to finish them.

Back when I was a vegetarian, swallowing flies was a dilemma!

Few of cycling along and a wasp flew into stu's baggy shorts and stung him 3 or 4 times on the thigh, cue emergency stop, baggies down and dancing like a geriatric break dancer.

Got a wasp stuck behind my sunglasses once and stung me on the eye lid. Swelled up like a balloon. It was the days of pre-Strava but I reckon my speed to the nearest village for antihistamine must have set a few records.

Moth exploding on the back of your throat. Took me hours to get rid of the taste. Very, very bitter.

Moth was a bit upset too, I imagine.

Bee sting on my tongue (15 mins before a cafe stop 🙄), I was talking like Harry Kane for two days!

The occasional fly in the gob is inevitable when riding, and I’ve always worn glasses so objects in my eyes weren’t a real issue, but I did get a wasp caught up under the pushed up sleeve of my shirt on a long fast downhill road section in France once, with a bend and junction coming up. Little stripey bastard stung me repeatedly in the crook of my elbow, at least seven or eight times, before I’d shed enough speed to be able to safely take a hand off the bars and flip the material back to release it. Damn, but that was painful! My elbow ached for ages afterwards, just glad it wasn’t a murder hornet!

What’s worse than swallowing a fly while riding?

Celery. Man I hate that stuff. 😖

Bumble bee full in the face.
It's like being hit by an angry stone.

I can’t believe no one has posted the worst, which thankfully has never happened to me, riding through a dog egg and flicking some into your mouth

I once rode through some got splattered into my beard and various but avoided my mouth. I could smell the stuff the whole way round the ride. Unfortunately having it under my nose already meant that I didn't notice the stench of the big lump on the bite valve of my camelbak. I sure as hell noticed the taste a few moments later.

I've had run off from a cow shed coat me before, that wasn't lovely.

The worst though was I spooked a grouse once which shot out of the Heather straight into my front wheel, sent me otb, broke my hand, 1 finger and 2 ribs. The grouse might have made a good burger.

Many years ago a Robin (Bird not bloke) hit the visor of my motor bike helmet when I was travelling at about 80mph. It basically exploded with bits of baby Robin everywhere. In 25 five years of motorbike riding that was the only ever bird strike, never even heard of anyone else being hit by a bird.

Hit in the chest by a bumble bee at similar speed, even through my leather jacket it felt like being hit with a rock. Got a wasp down my jacket once at about 60mph. Cue frantic chest hitting trying to kill the little ****er as it tried to get in as many stings as possible in it’s final seconds.

Best ever was being taken off the motor bike (at about 10mph) in a housing estate by a rope kids had ride across the road as a tennis net. Didn’t spot it as I was distracted by all the anxious worried looking kids waving and shouting at me 🙂

Bee stuck in helmet deciding to sting its way out was bad but wasp in mouth/stung tongue was worse. By the time I got to a physio couldn’t even speak to ask for antihistamines of some sort.

Resorted to pointing at a zirtek poster in the window & trying to shout ‘stung’ like some kind of mentalist.

choking on the bl@@dy fly then piling into a mass of nettles and brambles while trying to brake/steer/breathe at the same time

Bramble whip, where you hit a bramble branch, it whips round your elbow, then pulls a strip of flesh as you pass. Ouch plus blood.

At the moment mind what's worse than getting a fly in your mouth is the combined looks of fear, pity and hatred from everyone as you cough and choke on the bloody thing.

badger eggs are smelly beyond belief .not in mouth luckily but all over legs and bike, it wasnt a pleasant few miles home

Motorbike bird strike here as well. Going reasonably quickly when saw a blackbird take off, turn, and kill itself 1cm from my nose. Visor flexed enough to touch my nose but didn't break, fine white spray over black leathers and bike. Had to pull over and have a moment to get my heart rate down. Just glad it wasn't anything bigger.

cockchafer?

No, wait, it’s a heron’s beak isn't it?

Swallowing while being ridden....
i will get my coat.

On an MNPR a couple of years ago somebody ran over a wasps' nest. Everyone behind him was made to suffer the consequences :-/

Bee in a motor bike helmet is fun. Keep that visor down.

Guiding a group over the alps descending into South Tirol and one guy had a wasp fly into his helmet. He was sting several times. At first his mates thought it was a right laugh until he had some reaction (four stings on his head), went bright red and had some sort Kreislaufzusammerbruch.... Unbeknown to him he was allergic. Sat in the side of the trail, call the Bergwacht and he got carted off to the next hospital.

We spent the next six hours waiting for him to be given the all clear, but had another 70km and 1500m of climbing to our next hotel. Fortunately they were all dentists and had a bit of cash. Organised a private coach to take us the rest of the way.

The best bit was the guy from the Bergwacht who jumped on the wasp sting's bike and wheelied it all the way down the hill.... 😁

Had a wasp fly in under my body armour in Morzine mid way down a high speed run and sting on the tit last year, I though that was bad until hearing about decomposed badgers and dog egg.

I’ve had two bird strikes while riding motorbikes. The first was a small bird that flew out of the hedgerow onto my path and was tumbled over the fairing into my helmet. There wasn’t enough of it left to identify the species. The second was on my way to the last Malvern Classic in the ‘90’s. I was carless so my mate took my bike and camping gear but didn’t have room for me and the wife so I rode my CBR600. A couple of miles from the Classic a pheasant ran out onto the road and was shredded by my footpeg, covering my wife in entrails.

Fortunately no repeat on this mornings ride, though a fly did dart behind my glasses for a while.

In 25 five years of motorbike riding that was the only ever bird strike, never even heard of anyone else being hit by a bird.

I got whacked in the face by what might have been a magpie while doing 60mph on a country road. Scared the hell out of me and left a trail of blood across my visor. This was on a 100cc scooter though.

One of the tiny black pin head ones, or the ones that hover with something resembling a 50mm cannon hanging below them? What are they anyway?

Worst thing is when fly gets stuck in your throat and you feel the wings tickling.. I always have to stop and gag when that happens.
I got stung by something on the inside of my lip riding in Germany, not only did it hurt and make my lip swell up, but the taste was so foul and couldn’t get rid of it for hours!

Wiping your nose not realising there is dog egg on your glove.. Smell wouldn't go for days...

Also @hels those evil hornet things, saw one in my garden the other day hovering around one of the oaks, they are huge and very evil looking..

What’s worse than swallowing a fly while riding?

Genocide?

I had a bee go up the leg of my baggies riding down a descent. Had to stop and drop my shorts to get the little bugger out. In my panic o realised I had come to a screeching halt (as close as you can with v brakes) outside a church just as the wedding party came out.

Not read any of the others but a cleg bite on the end of you bell-end is far worse...2 weeks of discomfort with the first week very painful as a huge swollen lump that was rock hard (just the lump!)...made walking painful...

I had a bee go up the leg of my baggies riding down a descent. Had to stop and drop my shorts to get the little bugger out. In my panic o realised I had come to a screeching halt (as close as you can with v brakes) outside a church just as the wedding party came out.

You left the words "Your Honour" off of the end.

Incidentally how long was the restraining order in place for?

So you're buzzing along , minding your own business and suddenly there's  a vortex sucking you into some kind of mobile cave creature , which seems to be trying to gargle with you aaaarrghhllge gaaaarrllghh  it says. Yep you have just been swallowed by a mountainbiker.  This is worse, if you don't believe me ask Ford Prefect how the glass of water feels.

Had many a bee sting my helmet, just this week a pheasant shot out of a field clipped me on the noggin and I ended up on the other side of the road head downhill on a 10% road.

Also, potholes whilst taking a cheeky swig of the bottle.

Gob fulls of midges and various flying things, this week it seems to be the flying ant whatnots around our way.

Nothing to add on the bike front, the disintegrating fly in back of throat was my first. But on vegetation, I was attempting a tricky boulder move to the start of a climb, roped up. I stumbled off, the tension in the rope was just enough to dangle me through the bed of nettles behind me a few times while being unable to get my feet down and escape. After 3 or 4 wafts, I had to be dumped like a screaming sack of tatties into the nettles to pick myself up and run out. Shorts and t-shirt meant very red, blotchy, stingy arms and legs for a couple of days.

Swallowing a beetle. He is firmer.

I've taken to breathing through gritted teeth in places where I can see the flys!

Last ride there was a little twig stuck to my chainstay, rubbing on the tyre. I flicked the "mud" that it was stuck to off.

Wasn't mud though was it. It was fox poo. Bloody hell that stuff reeks! I dry boaked and cringed for most of the rest of the ride realising that some of it was on my glove.

The little concave space formed at the side of your Achilles tendon. I wear these low cut socks during the summer so there's a wee crescent shaped gap. JRA and a blob of dog $hit got fired off the back tyre down into that little space. Clean hit, right down the middle, consistency of cold fondant icing & it was beginning to diffuse into my sock. Paralysed with fear I had a quick look confirming my suspicions. At this point I probably have opted for amputation below the knee rather than try and get the $hit out. I think I did my longest breath-hold ever cleaning out the mess. :o(

I had a wasp get stuck in my helmet near the start of an 85 mile charity ride which stung me 5 times in its bid to escape. No allergic reaction but wearing the helmet was very uncomfortable for a while.

I’ve also had a bat bounce off my chest during a night ride. Close escape that one! 😃