[Closed] What's the best way to deal with an idiot motorcyclist?

Video it! Easy!

Not only that but it is only a matter of time that someone pulls out in front of this guy.

I'd be waiting for a knock on the door... You can't make threats like that in the UK any more! 😉

Video that you send to the police I'd say

Video it! Easy

Indeed. I hope to do that. Its WAAAA, WAAAA, WAAAAAAAAAA..gone so I need to be on the ball

broom handle.. spokes..

Piano shop nearby...????

DrP

DO NOT DO THIS

What, you mean you were about to recommend playing appalling easy listening jazz at the offending motorcyclist?

Would never work, he's wearing a crash helmet and would not hear it!

I know the Grand Piano, dropped on his head from a great height, is a suitably Tom and Jerry/Roadrunner way to kill him, in practice they're a bugger to lift up to the required altitude

I know the Grand Piano, dropped on his head from a great height, is a suitably Tom and Jerry/Roadrunner way to kill him, in practice they're a bugger to lift up to the required altitude

Surely the altitude's the easy bit, Will.E. Cayote always seems to suffer with the timing though.

Place this on some kind of spring release mechanism so it pops up....

http://www.partyrama.co.uk/pp/Cardboard_Cutouts/All_Cardboard_Cutouts/Policeman_Lifesize_Cardboard_Cutout.html

Releasing the piano is going to be easier than getting the camera woken up and recording in time.

I was also considering holding up a sign that says "Bloody slow down" which is a bit more personal than dobbing him in. I would be mortified by that

Is there a handy rock face you could paint a tunnel entrance onto?

Only one thing for it. Liberally smear the road in goose fat.

I need to be on the ball

Time for a few days off work, and an obsessive stalker-style stakeout.

EDIT there are motion sensing cameras around.. an electronics fan could probably rustle something up too with microphones...

Only one thing for it. Liberally smear the [strike]road[/strike] Motocyclist in [strike]goose[/strike]man fat.

This might work, but again the timing might be a problem

Will wash the car between 8 an 9 tomorrow and start with a bit of arm waving

Is there a handy rock face you could paint a tunnel entrance onto?

Last time I did that a train came out of the tunnel and flattened me.

"accidentally" spill engine oil on the road?

Wrecker, i hope your not being serious!!!

Moi?

Diesel leak 😉

discuss with neighbours, if you all park carefully could you make it a PITA to negotiate the street?
not blocking it, but enough to make the idiot slow down.
or broken bottles at the narrow bit.
EDIT: dont put broken bottles in the road.
but the police will be interested if he is doing wheelies, afaik its illegal on a public road.
also if several people complain about the same reg plate a marker will go on the anpr database and he will get stopped by traffic cops about it.

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Go pro on time lapse 1 second intervals

Why don't you ask him/her to slow down a little? Not sure an elaborate sting operation is required just yet.

or broken bottles at the narrow bit.

Another excellent suggestion from a cyclist... 😯

@grahams it was actually intended as a joke, but ive edited it anyway.

Fairymuff, it's hard to tell sometimes on here 😀

I can't believe its not come up already......

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@grahams, yes.

Why don't you ask him/her to slow down a little?

"Excu..."

[i]*vroom*[/i]

"...se me - oh."

Get two people standing on opposite sides of the road. When idiot biker boy pulls the wheelie, they can pull an imaginary length of rope tight.
Much hilarity will ensue and nobody will go to jail

I wonder if it's TJ?

but the police will be interested if he is doing wheelies, afaik its illegal on a public road.

It's not

My road is about 100-150M long with an island at the end to stop cars getting through

I'm a little lost as to what this means TBH, google street view? (purely being noisey)

If it's the same time every morning, organise you neighbour into a small protest, blocking the street, and when stopped ask him to be more reasonable?

Alternatively you could make a sign saying "slow down or we'll film you and report you..." . As even by doing a wheelie he's showing he has good control of his vehicle, he would be prosecuted for lack of control (or such like)

It's not

Driving / riding without due care is, though.

Form your own biker club and call him out.... Instructional video below:

sign taped to the narrow bit saying:

'you've been caught on video doing wheelies, illegal on public roads, will send to police if you don't stop. cheers'

?

landmines.
or just the sign.
I'd lay two thick electrical cables across the road.
I remember setting up a flash next to the edge of the road,under a bush,with a remote cord.
only works at night tho.but works pretty well.
obviously you could spread oil on the road in front of the flash so that they hit the oil when braking.
I only just though of that,though it might come under the excessive label.
you can make those pyramid nails if you can weld.
or just a strip of something with nails in it,like the police use.

still better than a headmaster friend of mine suggesting we roll bales down the hill onto the road...

just a strip of something with nails in it,like the police use

Police ones are cleverer than that - they are sharpened tubes that pierce through your tyre then snap off, staying in the tyre and letting all the air out very quickly.

Kick a football into the road as he's coming down. If it doesn't make him swerve, crash and die, it might make him think twice about riding too fast down a residential street.

build a ramp

sign taped to the narrow bit saying:

'you've been caught on video doing wheelies, illegal on public roads, will send to police if you don't stop. cheers'

If you ask me he needs to learn a lesson rather than just go somewhere else.

Shop him, do it asap.

Actually - you might be able to persuade the fuzz to do the stakeout for you, if it's a regular predictable thing.

i stand corrected, i thought it was illegal to do a wheelie on a public road, it seems not.
although it also seems that it may be covered by due care and attention or similar.
anyway, i was wrong.

grahamS thanks.
I doubt I'll ever need to make one,but you never know.more hassle though,you'd need to weld little sharpened tubes,with nails or long tacks you can just use a strip of tarmac paper type thing.
still,if a job's worth doing..

build a ramp

put up posters advertising the "Cupid Stunt Motorcycle Show"
sell tickets for the event in aid of his impending funeral.

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Put one of these^^^ at the end of the road 😉

There's no specific law about doing wheelies but you'll likely find yourself up for dangerous driving if caught doing them
Therefore definitely illegal

http://www.oxfordmail.co.uk/news/1397867.0/?act=complaint&cid=283631

Had a similar problem a few years ago with a lad who lived opposite and did pretty much everything possible to piss the neighbours off. My next door neighbour was a very quiet and mild mannered teacher who it transpired was an ex-para captain.

The ragging it up and down the road was sorted by the teacher simply kicking an old kids buggy into the scrotes path one day. It did minimal damage to the car, but shook the little scrote up properly, especially when we insisted that he call the Police, who were then overwhelmed with witnesses wanting to tell how stupidly the scrote had been driving at the time and how lucky it was the child was not in said buggy. Might have more severe consequences to a biker though.

The said scrote followed this up by standing in the street with a "ghetto blaster" on full volume outside our houses. Teacher, walked out asked him to turn it down, to which scrote turned it up, teacher went out and asked again, to which the scrote turned it up, teacher then suggested scrote leave before something bad happened. He didn't, and the ghetto blaster was punted over an adjoining garden fence by the teacher.

Strangely, things started to quiten down not long after that.

google street view?

Looking for somewhere to pop some wheelies, or just planning to go round and nick Dancake's bikes? 😈

seule la force garantira la liberté, Blanqui 1870 (Paris commune)

For the sake of clarity, I would describe the wheelie as popping the front end up giving it a handful rather than going all the way down the street on one wheel, cannon ball run stylee.

This isn't an anti bike rant BTW. I would love this one - a big loud single somethingorother.

A "slow down" gesture is my mode of attack. If I can make eye contact, he will know he has been clocked

Binners, there's a chance the bike has Marzocchi's on it too! I would imagine the world would end should Bomber ever face Bomber

I guy I used to work with helped with bother at his old mum's flats. Whne scrote came passed he swung a wet mop at his head. Removed him from bike and broke his neck. Ooops...

So video; and send to plod. Don't get involved further; it never ends well.

Is there a handy rock face you could paint a tunnel entrance onto?
Last time I did that a train came out of the tunnel and flattened me.

OK, speaking as a motorcyclist........

Phhhhh. There's always some pillock like this. We have one on our road* who visits his elderly/frail mum regularly. He does himself no favours. 1200 Bandit, open pipe. 30mph sounds like double that. But I know having watched him that he is well over the speed limit. 2 gear changes (so in third gear) up the road and I know he's doing 50+ because I only trickle up and down in second and it's tricky to keep below 30.

We complained and I know the local plod had a word. He certainly slowed down but it still sounds too fast, even to my ears.
-----------------------------
*To be fair, there's more cars causing problems on our road than bikes, but they're quiet, so harder to spot. That's the thing with a lot/most/many bikers, they HAVE TO HAVE a loud pipe to show off (it makes eff all difference in the real world to anything)
If you keep it quiet and keep the silly stuff to yourself, nobody bothers you.

Tried just erecting a scarecrow?

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Billboard Poster?

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Street art?

Just give him the ****er sign. No one likes that.

Is this a case of I can't so I don't want you to either?

I had a motorcycle to piss on chips daily. Twice daily infact.

This is easy to deal with; the Police will be ready to act as soon as you give them the facts.

The key is the reg and make and colour as well as the times and estimated speed. Ring the local non-emergency number and ask them to take a report of a motorcyclist speeding and driving in a manner that causes alarm; that's two offences already. If there's an access restriction, another offence. His reg will be flagged up on the PNC and next time he's seen by a car equipped with ANPR he will be stopped for a "producer". More than three reports and he will receive a home visit and might even have the bike confiscated.

Speak with your local Beat Officer as well because if it's regular they might be able to get his speed with a hand-held gun. Finally you can also contact your local traffic Police and ask to speak with the senior officer who decides what the few cops on patrol do when they are not drinking coffee and watching Police Camera Action videos. We have done all this in our street, which is blighted by short-cutting speeders and we have dealt successfully with a few habitual speeders.

Much more sedate today..It must be one of you lot 😆

Is this a case of I can't so I don't want you to either?

no its a case of I don't want me and my 4 year old boy to get run over outside our house. This is a QUIET no thru road - it shouldnt have bikes going past at 50+ mph!

I haven't read any of the replies except the OP, if you get the number plate and report it to the police they can give him a S59 (Police Reform Act 2002) warning about his driving in an anti-social/dangerous manner and potentially confiscate his bike. Defiantely worth doing.

Where an officer has reasonable grounds for believing that a motor vehicle is being used in a manner which contravenes Road Traffic Act Section 3 (Careless Driving) OR Section 34 (Driving elsewhere than on a road) AND also the manner of use of the vehicle is causing or has been causing or is likely to cause, alarm distress or annoyance to members of the public, Section 59 can be used to:-

initially give a written warning (valid for twelve months, S59 notice)
and on a subsequent occasion to seize the vehicle. A constable in uniform has the power to order the person driving to stop the vehicle, to seize and remove the vehicle, to enter any premises on which the officer has reasonable grounds for believing the motor vehicle to be and to use reasonable force. Seizure can made only if a warning has been given, or believed to have been given, or if a warning is clearly being ignored.

So, usually it's a two-stage process - a warning or notice first, seizure if you persist or repeat.

THINK BIKE! errr, no how about its time BIKERS THINK... I get totally f##ked off by the way motorcyclists see it as there right to blast around the UK like its a race track. 100+mph on A roads is perfictly normal for a large number of these leatherbound goon's. If anyone was to try and pull that sh#t in a sports car they would be locked up and have the key thrown away. However most of them know the unwritten rules for motorbikes and the way rozzer motorbikers feel etc etc so just go for it. And as for these tw##s who find and extra lane on the motorway between the fast and middle lanes,when you get taken down, you most probably wouldnt have a leg to stand on, in more ways than one. Its 3 lanes for all and sorry my 2 wheeled friend but the traffic jam is for all too. I drive about 50,000miles per year, so id like to think i spend enough time in traffic and on the road to have seen this enough times for it to be accurate.
Track days are for blasting it not roads and lanes, much like leath hill is for cruzing down on an mtb and we all know where blasting down that gets people..............

OP: have you considered asking for your road to be made a 20 zone?

Its 3 lanes for all and he traffic jam is for all.

Sorry, but that's bollocks. Nothing wrong with filtering (safely) on a motorbike (or a bicycle).

Objections are just jealously disguised as concerns for safety.

The residents have already done well to get the street closed; we've been campaigning for 30 years for this and got nowhere. To ask for a 20 mph limit as well would be stretching their luck too far.

You've got to be high up your county's league table of accident-blighted streets to get any funds for traffic calming. Our speeder-blighted street is at the bottom because we've only had one accident in ten years, which makes us victims of our own success in keeping our kids locked indoors. Certain other more, er [i]diverse[/i] districts of Blackburn however have been given the full works because in those districts people don't bother wearing seatbelts, taking out insurance or teaching their kids road safety because it's all in the hands of God anyway so why bother?

If anyone was to try and pull that sh#t in a sports car

I drive about 50,000miles per year, so id like to think i spend enough time in traffic .

THINK BIKE! errr, no how about its time BIKERS THINK... I get totally f##ked off by the way motorcyclists see it as there right to blast around the UK like its a race track. 100+mph on A roads is perfictly normal for a large number of these leatherbound goon's. If anyone was to try and pull that sh#t in a sports car they would be locked up and have the key thrown away. However most of them know the unwritten rules for motorbikes and the way rozzer motorbikers feel etc etc so just go for it. And as for these tw##s who find and extra lane on the motorway between the fast and middle lanes,when you get taken down, you most probably wouldnt have a leg to stand on, in more ways than one. Its 3 lanes for all and sorry my 2 wheeled friend but the traffic jam is for all too. I drive about 50,000miles per year, so id like to think i spend enough time in traffic and on the road to have seen this enough times for it to be accurate.
Track days are for blasting it not roads and lanes, much like leath hill is for cruzing down on an mtb and we all know where blasting down that gets people..............

Inflammatory subject; random use of CAPS; basic grammatical confusion (eg, there / their); lack of white space; self-censored swearing; rash generalisations; made-up 'facts'; ignorance of actual facts; jealousy; superiority complex perhaps leading to false authority syndrome.

Pretty good, I'd give that a solid 8/10. You lost points for ineffective use of exclamation marks, you might want to keep that in mind for next time. Maybe try and invoke Godwin's Law next time or put a bit more effort into your straw man too? Shows promise though, I look forward to future monologues.

THINK BIKE! errr, no how about its time BIKERS THINK... I get totally f##ked off by the way motorcyclists see it as there right to blast around the UK like its a race track. 100+mph on A roads is perfictly normal for a large number of these leatherbound goon's. If anyone was to try and pull that sh#t in a sports car they would be locked up and have the key thrown away. However most of them know the unwritten rules for motorbikes and the way rozzer motorbikers feel etc etc so just go for it. And as for these tw##s who find and extra lane on the motorway between the fast and middle lanes,when you get taken down, you most probably wouldnt have a leg to stand on, in more ways than one. Its 3 lanes for all and sorry my 2 wheeled friend but the traffic jam is for all too. I drive about 50,000miles per year, so id like to think i spend enough time in traffic and on the road to have seen this enough times for it to be accurate.

99% hysterical bullshit.

points and laughs at xterramac 😀