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I've got a roll of genuine Andrex going spare. Really good condition- unused. I'd like to keep it but quite frankly we did some careful 'prepping' shopping- perfectly calmly you'll understand- not panicking at all, & now we cannot physically get into the spare room because of all the bog rolls.
So my question is- should I try to sell it complete, or would I get a better price if I split it and sold each sheet seperately?
I could do with some Andrex, the local Squizzer is getting a bit smelly.
Whats your returns policy?
With hindsight I'd have put my money in hand sanitiser rather than loo rool.
How would you guarantee individual sheets hadn't been contaminated with the deadly curse corona virus?
Will be worth ~3 Bugatti Verons by Monday in Europe.
Have you ever tried wiping your bum with a Veyron? Never again.
How long is it?
Thread. Like. Well done.
😃
What's the P&P? - I'm in Melbourne
I thought this was a joke but local (isj) 24hr Asda has no loo roll.
So I'll reserve 14 sheets, 1weeks worth for 2 people.
Can anyone genuinely clean their arse with just one sheet? Asking for a friend.
Probably, subject to a complicated ratio of the size of the arse, the number of ply and the viscosity of the clackage.
Have you ever tried wiping your bum with a Veyron? Never again.
You need to let the engine cool down first to avoid arse burn.
one sheet?
Try Juan Sheet, missing a trick here, cut a kitchen roll in half, bingo 2 bog rolls 😉
As long as the Daily Mail is still on the shelves your toilet roll is worthless.
With hindsight I’d have put my money in hand sanitiser
Money laundering?
As long as the Daily Mail is still on the shelves your toilet roll is worthless.
Yeah, but the ink comes off on your bum!
Or so I’m told...
Wouldn't even wipe my arse with the daily mail, might catch something from it
As we all look into the depths of the upcoming zombie apocalypse it's threads like this that give me hope.😆
Probably, subject to a complicated ratio of the size of the arse, the number of ply and the viscosity of the clackage.
Plus "some people" like to double up and use 2 sheets to start with, to reduce the possibility of, well cheap paper, false economy 🙂
Interested. What diameter cardboard insert?
Can you guarantee it wasn't made in China? I'm worried about catching Corvidarseaids.
I run a boost toilet roll holder, do you know if I can get adapters?
So kitchen roll is it the new industry standard. Does it make your cheeks come alive?
I “chipped” my e-loo roll holder but must have done something wrong as it’s flinging loo roll all over the bathroom, any ideas?
Is it Andrex marathon plus? I'm less concerned about overall speed, but want the best possible puncture protection
serious question (honestly). i get the mass hysteria thing, and people buying face masks and hand-sanitiser, its daft but i understand thats what people do these days. but..... why toilet roll?
are they thinking we may all be told not to leave our houses for weeks on end or something?
just seems so far down the list of 'important things id need in a crisis', i mean why not tinned food or somethings? (or is that being stockpiled too?)
What loo roll for really muddy conditions? (asking for a friend).
why toilet roll?
are they thinking we may all be told not to leave our houses for weeks on end or something?
Well that's what has apparrently worked in China. Maybe!
IANAD but surely if people can no longer buy food they no longer need to buy loo roll? It's not like you can wipe a snotty nose with the stuff.
funkmasterp
Subscriber
Can anyone genuinely clean their arse with just one sheet? Asking for a friend.
Actually, we were taught this in the Army. Tear a corner of the sheet off and hold it in your teeth. Poke your finger through the middle of the sheet and wipe your butt with your finger. Then, slide the paper off your finger wiping as you go.
The small piece in your teeth? That's for cleaning under your finger nail.
I've started wiping my arse with the neighbour's dog. It's quite effective plus it then licks my lens clean.
Guaranteed gusset freshness with minimal effort.
The dog enjoys it too so everyone's a winner.
Onzadog
Actually, we were taught this in the Army. Tear a corner of the sheet off and hold it in your teeth. Poke your finger through the middle of the sheet and wipe your butt with your finger. Then, slide the paper off your finger wiping as you go.
That's bleak. It's like a vision of post Brexit Britain two years from now.😳
Only one roll - I've got a sealed pack of 16. Whoop. Billionaire
Wishing now I had saved aLL my rolls instead of sending off for a puppy.
why toilet roll?
Civilisation does not officially end until you run out of bog roll.
Eating your neighbours does not count.
Just walked past a car whilst out and about in the Badlands of Kent.
Nothing too out of the ordinary there....but they had a full box of Kleenex tissues on the dash.
Such an ostentatious display of wealth by The Elites will not be tolerated much longer in this great country!
(Tissues and baby wipes are the new toilet roll. You heard it here first.)
Onzadog
MemberActually, we were taught this in the Army. Tear a corner of the sheet off and hold it in your teeth. Poke your finger through the middle of the sheet and wipe your butt with your finger. Then, slide the paper off your finger wiping as you go.
The small piece in your teeth? That’s for cleaning under your finger nail.
You are Karl Pilkington AICMFP
Further to my earlier post, I was in Waitrose earlier and they were out of bog roll and Daily Mail.
Good to know it is actually possible to clean ones arse without either.
For sale.
One bidet.... £10,000,000.
Can anyone genuinely clean their arse with just one bidet? Asking for a friend.
Like Joshvegas we have a bidet. Clean bums all round here, bonus we can clean boots and shoes in it too.

I reckon it's gonna be about 30 minutes tmrw at work before some manager tells all the staff to stop nicking the loo rolls from the bogs....