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[Closed] What's going to happen to you when you die?

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Inspired by the "What music for your funeral?" thread, what are your plans for your cadaver after you pop your clogs?

I've told my wife that as I'll be dead I don't really give two hoots what she does with my body once I'm gone. But, if was to choose, my first preference would be to find a local rocket club and see if they can launch my ashes (or at least a spoonful of them) into space*. A trajectory out of the solar system would be ideal, but I'd settle for getting dragged in by the gravity of the moon or one of the other planets and burn up on entry. I'm guessing (having not researched it yet) that getting out of earth's gravity well is beyond a bunch of rocket hobbyists, but that's Plan A. Plan B is to donate the body for medical science - for student doctors to carve up, for example. Plan C is to [s]dump[/s] scatter my ashes somewhere scenic, possibly at sea. Plan D is just dig a hole in the back garden and dump me in it (it's apparently legal here, we have a huge garden and there are no foxes to dig up the corpse...)

*Once all the useful bits have been excised for donation.

My five-year-old son recently pointed out a graveyard as we drove past, and commented that that's where dead people go. We said yes, some people get buried, others get cremated and relatives can keep their ashes or put them somewhere nice. He asked what would happen to him when he died, and we said he could choose.

Straight away he said he wants to be cremated and have his ashes put in a snow globe with a dragon on a mountain, and flashing lights underneath 😀

So, what are your plans for your remains?


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 1:12 am
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don't really give two hoots

The wall of text that follows this statement rather suggests you do.

....which of course there is nothing wrong with.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 3:47 am
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I love the snow globe idea 😀


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 4:59 am
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I ticked the 'use whatever the hell you want' box on the organ/medical science donation form.

I can either rot in the ground, get recycled in other people, or have a bunch of medical students laugh at my cock. 😆

Either way, I'll be dead so I can't see me caring much.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 5:19 am
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Well it's not like I'm going to know or care what happens to my body after I'm dead. Bit like my credit card bill.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 5:28 am
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Cremation. Then nothing.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 5:29 am
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I wish for my Ashes to be made into a diamond, cut and set into a necklace with a long plunging chain and then given to Susie Dent.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 5:36 am
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Sky burial - let the red kites in the chilterns picking over my carcass


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 6:58 am
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I wondered whether this thread had been inspired by the Netflix show, "The Discovery".

I had planned on giving my eyes to Stevie Wonder.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 7:08 am
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Just don't burn me. Being fighting fires for 26 yrs it's not going to get me at the very end.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 7:10 am
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Snow Globe for me!

I'm donating my remains to science. Inspired by the Billy Connolly documentary.

I've also told my mrs that if she spends thousands on funeral costs and caskets I'll haunt her. Put a few grand of what I leave behind behind a bar and all have a good drink on me.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 7:12 am
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yeah wicker casket. & the difference behind the bar.
You'd be surprised how much ashes they give you for a relative after a cremeation, there's loads!


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 7:31 am
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Signed my broken n' abused body over to medical science a few years ago, when your dead......your dead and the idea of burying a body in a coffin is pointless. You don't need to visit a graveyard to remember those you loved


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 7:42 am
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If theres anything of any use to anyone (extremely doubtful) then they can have that. Other than that you can chuck me in a skip out the back of Tesco for all I care


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 7:45 am
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i want to swim with the [url= http://www.burialatsea.co.uk/ ]fishes[/url].


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 7:48 am
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[I]or have a bunch of medical students laugh at my cock[/I]

That's happened to me in my life (it was a cold day, okay?)

I'd like every bit of me that's of any use to be used. I've issued instructions that, should any of my family refuse permission for organ donation, I will come back to haunt them, and I'll haunt them good...


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 7:59 am
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There can't be anyone of my age who watched Blue Peter in the glory days of the early to mid 70's and doesn't want a Viking funeral 🙂


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 8:01 am
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Not fussed, as long as someone deletes my internet history. 🙂


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 8:02 am
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Your son is wise before his years. I was in the burn me camp and chuck me about the place but now, well;

cremated and have his ashes put in a snow globe with a dragon on a mountain, and flashing lights underneath

This please.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 8:05 am
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I've left strict instructions that my my mortal remains are to be handed over to a taxidermist.

I'm to be stuffed and mounted on the end of the sofa, posed with the remote control for the TV, as a constant reminder to my wife of our marital vows.

Let's see her move somone else in then..........


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 8:07 am
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I have made it known on several occasions to all those around me that they can give any last bit of me away to medical science that they care to use (yes I am fully up to date on the [url= https://www.organdonation.nhs.uk/register-to-donate/register-your-details/ ]donor register - don't forget to do it people[/url]).

An ex once said that she would donate everything but her eyes as she'd need those to see in the afterlife. She didn't understand my argument that if she needed eyes she would kinda need her vital organs too 🙂


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 8:08 am
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Chop up and donate the bits definitely. After that, don't care and won't care as I'm dead.

Unless someone proves that you can be resurrected in the future from your remains, or maybe Futurama style using your head.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 8:12 am
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Woodburner.

I'm being dried and seasoned first, obviously.

The initial plan was to be be cremated, with my ashes to be placed in the ashtrays of some of my favourite pubs, just before closing time.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 8:14 am
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Donate my organs and cremate the rest. I kind of fancy an open pyre in the Hindu tradition. As someone for whom that's half my heritage - it appeals, especially ironic since I've followed so few of its precepts in life...


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 8:17 am
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I wish for my Ashes to be made into a diamond, cut and set into a necklace with a long plunging chain and then given to Susie Dent.

Or you could have your ashes used to seed pearls and get them made into a necklace?


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 8:19 am
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Give away any useful bits.
Bury in a cardboard box under a young tree.
Rot and give a little bit back to the planet.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 8:34 am
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I'd like my ashes to be scattered from the top of Mount Keen during a Westerly gale. Some tiny part of me might get to Norway, a place that impressed me.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 8:35 am
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Recycle as much as possible and then bury me. I want to melt back into the earth, feed the worms... I want my energy to be converted into more life rather than being incinerated and going up a chimney.

And have you seen what they do to the remains to make them into that lovely silky grey tilth that they put in the urn? It's not pretty!

I know I'll be dead, but I don't want the body that's carried me for the thick end of a century to be subjected to such violence!


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 8:43 am
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This thread is a whole lot funnier when bum and burn look much the same on my monitor 🙂


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 8:49 am
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I'm in the "use whatever you can and do whatever you like with the rest" camp.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 8:50 am
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slowoldgit - Member

I'd like my ashes to be scattered from the top of Mount Keen during a Westerly gale. Some tiny part of me might get to Norway, a place that impressed me.

The downside with this is that a far larger proportion of you will probably end up in Aberdeen...


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 9:38 am
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I will be coming back as a beautiful leopard.

Reincarnation is real isn't it?


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 9:43 am
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Cremation then sprinkled vigorously in Chichester Harbour off the Club beach.
Then I've got a seat/bench planned to be made, with my initials and a small message to be inscribed on. This will join the other few that adorn the Club veranda.
All taken care of in my Will.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 9:57 am
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I want to be cremated and my ashes distributed from a hot air balloon over my home town.

But then, that's just me all over.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 10:11 am
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-


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 10:21 am
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Get my bones stripped clean by some ants with big ole mandibles, then get my skeleton set up in a coin operated automatron... when a coin is inserted, I'll cackle some crazy catchphrases from beyond the grave and every now and again let out a well amplified fart.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 10:33 am
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DILLIGAF


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 10:45 am
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Mmmn, might need a conversation with the wife tonight now.
I want to be a snow globe!
However, in a more sensible world, if I go first then I'd rather she got rid of me however works best for her. I'll be dead and couln't care less. She may want to bury me, wear a black veil and lay flowers on my grave everyday (highly unlikely) or scatter my ashes somewhere that means something to her/us/me or just stick me in a tub at the back of the garage to be sorted later.
Whatever helps her and the children to cope/grieve/remeber/move on.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 11:05 am
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DILLIGAF

Dignified Interment, Lotsa Lilys, International Gay Adventure Funeral?


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 11:09 am
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Organ donation - hopefully as much of possible can be put to good use.

I struggle why there's isn't default organ donation TBH.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 11:12 am
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Organ donation, body to science, no funeral.

The end


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 11:18 am
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Just been discussing this with a friend. We also discussed what would happen if we were left in a persistent vegitative state... He's asked me to keep him alive and keep going round to tell him stories about bike rides, and he's said I can "sort his missus out"... And that he might want to watch.

I'm going to try and break his neck on our next ride. 😉


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 11:24 am
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I don't care what the Mrs does if I go first, I don't want a funeral but whatever helps her through is fine by me.
By the same token she has asked to be buried in an eco coffin in a woodland and I've promised that I will.
I won't tho'- she'll be dead so I'll do whatever I feel like, and to be honest if she dies in a hospital I doubt i'll even collect the remains.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 11:28 am
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Organ donation, then turned to ashes and scattered somewhere on my local mtbing loop.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 11:38 am
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i would quite like a bench over looking a nice view dedicated to me, if they want to sit my body on it to rot i don't mind

councilof10 - Member
Just been discussing this with a friend. We also discussed what would happen if we were left in a persistent vegitative state... He's asked me to keep him alive and keep going round to tell him stories about bike rides, and he's said I can "sort his missus out"... And that he might want to watch.

I'm going to try and break his neck on our next ride.


post of the day so far!


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 11:48 am
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The downside with this is that a far larger proportion of you will probably end up in Aberdeen...

Well, the bigger bits might irritate if they get in a few eyes and up a few noses.

PS what happened to BB codes?


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 12:12 pm
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I watched a program once about bodies donated to science, they spoke to them living and watched them getting chopped up after death, it was a bit weird! I didn't like how the family then had to wait ages for the body to be released for a funeral.
For me I've asked for all my parts to be recycled and then to go straight to cremation. No funeral, no horrid two week wait for the family and about half the price of a usual do so they can have a holiday too


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 7:59 pm
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http://www.thelongbarrow.com

This. Preferably unofficial. Also some good old boys from the village are going to prepare and smoke some of my bones.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 8:07 pm
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My brother's been tasked with the job of driving to Arisaig and spreading my ashes from a rock outcrop at Portnadoran. Ideally I'd like it if they all blow in his face, like in the Big Lebowski. It's just a place I loved as a kid and also it'd be fairly inconvenient for him so that seems like an appropriate way to be remembered.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 8:10 pm
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The most environmental friendly ways are:

Sky burial ... feed the birds.
Feed to crocodile ... but try not to make it a habit coz once they get the taste village people will suffer.
Turn into fertiliser ... location is a problem.
Feed to Piranha ... air ticket might be expensive.
Cremation ... good but use up a lot of energy and air pollution etc.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 8:18 pm
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I've told my brothers that I would like to be cremated and my ashes taken up Skiddaw (on a clear day) and buried there* .

*Too windy to scatter them there and I remember the hilarious farce of scattering my dad's ashes on his fave beach.ha.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 8:18 pm
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My dad had some really specific requests when he went, I think mainly to mess with us posthumously.
We had to sprinkle half of him at his favourite place to stop on a bike ride in the Lakes, and specified that we had to ride the full route to get him there. After lugging the quality street tin full of ashes for miles, up and down the bloody hills, it was more a feeling of relief when we lobbed them into the air rather than anything poignant.
The other half had to be scattered off a Thames barge, into the river Blackwater, in a Barge match (race). This only happens once or twice a year, so we haven't got around to it yet.

It'll be organ donation/med student donation for me, although hopefully by the time I do go they'll be able to grow all the organs they need in labs.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 9:17 pm
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Routine incineration. Ashes to be put in some tubeless fluid as an experiment.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 9:21 pm
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Had to do a funeral recently, what really struck me was an eco coffin was £200 more than a standard coffin.

It was a cremation.

Go figure.


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 9:32 pm
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Two words ............soylent green 😆


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 9:39 pm
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I'd like to be reincarnated, please! 😆


 
Posted : 07/04/2017 10:39 pm
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Donate useful body parts to medicine, rest to Battersea dogs home.


 
Posted : 08/04/2017 2:28 am
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Lancashire hot pot


 
Posted : 08/04/2017 6:14 am
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sideshowdave - Member 
Two words ............soylent green

Nom, nom, nom 😀


 
Posted : 08/04/2017 7:18 am
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had planned on giving my eyes to Stevie Wonder.

Ferris Bueller, you're my hero. 🙂

Organ donation, body to science

Oo, didn't know you could do both. Works for me. 🙂


 
Posted : 08/04/2017 7:29 am
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One last jump??
[url= http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/morgue-worker-admits-to-having-sex-with-up-to-100-dead-women-9676200.html ]Not quite parachuting corpses :0( {Independent link}[/url]


 
Posted : 08/04/2017 7:37 am
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Whatever is cheapest, very hard to do for less than a grand. I'd rather mine spent the cash on a nice meal and a few drinks after.


 
Posted : 08/04/2017 7:49 am
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Give away any useful bits.
Bury in a cardboard box under a young tree.
Rot and give a little bit back to the planet.

+1 and as cheaply as possible- spend the money on having fun instead.


 
Posted : 08/04/2017 8:07 am
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I want to be kept in Chris Packham's freezer. Don't tell him though, I like surprises.


 
Posted : 08/04/2017 8:32 am
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Favourite ashes scattering story was a life member of a black powder shooting club. His ashes were loaded into all the other members' muzzle loaders and fired over the range.


 
Posted : 08/04/2017 8:33 am
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Ashes loaded into several rocket fireworks.

Go out with a bang. 😀


seosamh77 - Member
I'd like to be reincarnated, please!

It's your world, reality, universe, truth. So if it makes your life happier and you a better person, of course you can!

And no one has the right to deny you your truth, especially here.


 
Posted : 08/04/2017 8:44 am
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Here's a question I been ponderin recently, what happens if an afterlife is only possible if you believe in it? 😆


 
Posted : 08/04/2017 4:21 pm

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