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Walking el doggo yesterday in the mountainbike Mecca.
Asian family of two parents and a baby walking towards their car.
With a grade **** clearly been in the pub steamboating up the street screaming and shouting Scotland the Brave and loaidly talking about Scotland for Scotland and people should go home.
The guy is known to me, lives round the corner. He is a walloper. Being overly generous there maybe some be some psychological stuff going on based on shouting and bawling when the bus is late OR he is sometimes/often coked off his nut all washed down with cheap lager.
My over arching response would be to wade in and tell him to **** off but he was absolutely out of it and would have done nothing other than probably lead to violence. So I walked away. Which I feel bad about now as it showed absolutely no support. I looped back but family had got in car and gone understandably. He was off down the street yelling at the top of his voice about something or other.
What could I have done differently. Should I go round and smear Lola's shit on his door handles?
Perhaps go and stand with the group, and speak to them at the same time, to at least show you are with them rather than supporting him or neutral?
Horrible thing to happen but I guess it would feel slightly less awful for them knowing that some of the bystanders at least are with them rather than tacitly supporting the oaf
Yeah that's what I decided I will do next time.
Just feel massively like a faile good humaning 101.
It was so unexpected I basically froze.
Your judgement all sounds spot on, not to challenge the person and risk escalating the situation
As you already concluded, with hindsight and time to think, going up to the family to reassure them, check they are okay, and explain that the culprit is known as an idiot and in no way represents the Scottish people
As a victim of racism myself, the lack of (even discreet) vocal support from bystanders always compounds an already miserable situation
Don’t feel like you failed, wonderful that you have given the effort to even think over the situation, instead of ignoring it
Good on you brother
It is not too late to report to Police Scotland, there is an online form for non urgent matters and they do respond. (I reported a tradie for parking on the pavement right at the designated kiddies road crossing safe zone near the school they got him shifted. I did ask him politely not to park there so did get a chance to do the right thing).
Anyway, Scots law needs corroboration so if they have reported the incident you will help, and fair enough on not causing a confrontation.
P.S was this near Haylodge Park? I heard some ned shouting and carrying on yesterday
Cheers Hels reported.
No it was on Northgate.
This guy is like late 40s, never heard that particular topic being spewed out be him before but not massively surprised.
It was so unexpected I basically froze.
Woulda coulda shoulda. I've been in a similar situation and had exactly the same reaction, it happens and as you said yourself what could you have done differently that wouldn't have earned you a kicking from a thug. There's little point in beating yourself up about it now, it changes nothing.
A few years back I was collecting a mate from the pub, he was in the beer 'garden' out front with some other bloke I'd never seen before. I sat down to wait whilst Ste finished his pint. Presently a car drove past, a little Asian girl hanging out of the back window. I'm not good with kids' ages but she couldn't have been very old, primary school age I guess. Cute as a button. She sees us, gives a big grin and cheery wave, "HIYA!!""
My mate's associate shoots back, "f*** off you black c**t!"
I was literally stunned. In the end I think I mumbled something like "I'll meet you at the car" and stomped off. It is to my eternal chagrin that I didn't upend his pint over his head or worse but, well, the time for action was several years ago now.
I did pull my mate up on it later, for what good that might do. He said he barely knew the bloke, they just recognised each other from the football.
it happens and as you said yourself what could you have done differently that wouldn’t have earned you a kicking from a thug.
I wasn't in fear of getting a kick in. More knew violence wasn't going to make the situation worse.
Fair. I was judging by my own standards, I'm a drink of water and very much of the "run away" persuasion.
TBH, that 'type' would probably have welcomed it anyway. It's literally asking for confrontation.
There have been a few occasions in my life where I should have acted but didn't as I wasn't sure what to do. What I did after each incident was think carefully about what I should have done, and how I would act next time. Once you have done this you will be far less likely to do something positive in the future - it's worked for me. Seems to me that you are well on the way to doing this.
In the specific case you describe I agree with what others have suggested; there's little point confronting the aggressor, instead show your support to the victims. It would help them immensely to know that someone is there to back them up, especially as they had kids present.
My partner once went to intervene in that way when a homeless guy was being abused and threatened in Glasgow but just as she got there two schoolgirls had beaten her to it - just stepped in - ignored the ****er and just showed friendliness and concern to the victim and offered them a way out of the situation.
Apparently the thing to do is to start a friendly conversation with the person who is being abused, ignoring the abuser, at least whilst they're in earshot. It shows solidarity, and de-escalates in a non-confrontational way.
I assume you mean more likely? Time to edit still....
Anyway - I'm of the mind that you should step in no matter how uncomfortable. But temper that with obviously there are times when that is just stupid. And then feel guilty for being a 'coward'. I like the in between of not confronting but instead showing support to the victim. I'll do that in future.
With other people around to back you up - the bystander effect is real with everyone wondering "why doesn't someone do something" and it takes someone to step in and quickly others back you up (my experience at least, from a small set of experiences - example in a football crowd where the bloke a couple of rows in front is giving it full racist and sweary vocals - all I said was 'OK mate, that's enough now', he turned round and quickly someone else repeated it and told him to shut up)
And definitely report it - even if it's a statistic and a note somewhere, this behaviour is rarely a one off.
Son2 intervened when a member of the public was harassing his Asian work colleague. Now it just so happens that this was at Heathrow Airport and he and his colleagues were Security Officers. Only just 18 though. Needless to say the Airport Police were subsequently involved and the passenger did not catch his flight. Son2 was commended for his actions and I was very proud of him.
In your case, I'd have made sure those abused know that not everyone is like that by speaking to them, and report it.
I intervened once when a train manager was absolutely berating a passenger in my carriage. I set a timer for five minutes to see whether it would calm down and when it continued past that I stepped in. The train manager then turned on me as well.
It ended up with the train manager calling the police, and four of them getting on board at the next station to remove myself and the passenger, along with a regional manager. In the end they removed the train manager, and the train was delayed until they found a replacement. I got a grovelling phone call from some PR person from the train company, a refund, and a free first class return ticket to anywhere in the country.
Turns out that the passenger being berated often played golf with the CEO of the train company. Sat opposite him was a lawyer who'd witnessed the original incident that the passenger was being berated for, and confirmed the passenger's story. In the seats across the aisle there was a travel writer from the Daily Telegraph.
If it happened again, I'd still intervene, but in the less confrontational way that I mentioned above. Not sure whether the outcome would be any different, the train manager was obviously having a bad day and had completely lost the plot. I don't know what happened to him after the incident.
screaming and shouting Scotland the Brave and loaidly talking about Scotland for Scotland and people should go home.
Sounds to me that he did an excellent job of exposing himself as a total idiot without the need of any intervention on your part.
Police are paying me a visit on Thursday. What a service.
Good man! Refusing to just stand by and let these things happen can take many forms.
Let’s hope the drunken racist isn’t the chief inspector and it’s not a “fallen down the stairs” visit!
Film and report him? Police take this stuff seriously especially in Scotland. Having said that though, would it make any difference to him? A w@nker rarely changes its spots.
I was in hospital Thursday night into Friday. Cardiac issues again. Forced to go there by my wife who'd got sick of nagging me to go, and was resorting to threatening to phone an ambulance if I didn't 🤣
Anyway ended up on a mixed acute ward and there was a generally fairly out of order older 'very scottish' lady finding all sorts to moan and argue about. The poor black lady nurse got it from her a few times. I didn't quite hear what the patient said to the nurse, but it was obviously not nice, all I felt I could do really was be extra nice with 'thank you's' to her when she was seeing it me, as I'm positive if I'd challenged the patient she'd have just caused more of a stooshie.
Anyway, I'm home now with a 3 days monitor attached I'm trying my best to make go doolally so they have some good data to work with and some more appointments to come.
I often have awkward situations where people are making casual racist comments that I will usually challenge particularly as one SiL is half ****stani, and another SiL is Chinese, and a friend's wife is Thai.
It's lead to me leaving the local man's shed as some of the attitudes and discussions were so wrong. Had a few similar issues with the local Andy's Man Club too which has left me not wanting to go there. I don't need to feel I have to cause trouble at places that are supposed to be helping 😔
The hospital shoud be allowed to turf the racist biatch out on the street and tell her to fhook right orf and not come back and can look after herself at home instead.
Absolutely time these sort of organisations were allowed to take a proper hard line against anyone who is abusive or violent - there's plenty of good people in the queue for the bed and treatment.
Apologize to the people on the recieving end of the tirade.
Really sorry that you had to hear that nonsense from that idiot. He is in a tiny minority of people whose views are very back dated.
Record on phone, get ready for the usual" you can't record me , I don't give you permission balldocks"
I know how you feeling as I just heard a 14-15 girl being groomed by a guy in his mid 20s. All very nice and polite but what would you want a 15 yr old insta address, what you going to do meet at McDonalds. Her parents were nearby and I feel that I should have told them.
Second post nailed it but let's be honest it's not easy when someone is clearly off their head and looking for a reaction.
Some fantastic answers and I’m glad you’ve involved the police OP. I’m a reactionary idiot but like to think I’m mellowing as I age. Chatting with the victims and showing solidarity is a much better response.
I’m a reactionary idiot but like to think I’m mellowing as I age.
This is the main driving force for me not engaging with him. I am a bit of a hot head in defence of others avoiding the red mist of justice is better for everyone. Wouldn't go in throwing punches ever but could easily up the situation to violence back at me if I go unchecked.
"An honest error", yeah right, it makes me sick: gymnastics-ireland-apologises-to-girl-over-medal-ceremony-at-centre-of-racism-claim
You can see on the video here -
- that she walks right past her. Racism on two counts, the initial act and the ignorance not to sanction it and water it down to "an honest error".
apparantly the judge wrote a long apology a couple of days after that was not passed on to the child involved
Racism on two counts, the initial act and the ignorance not to sanction it and water it down to “an honest error”.
Three, and bringing it back to on-topic.
A whole crowd of people, other judges, the photographer and videographer - even the other kids (much less blame here but wouldn't it have been amazing for a kid to have the ability to call it out. Or take their medal off and give it to her) - all stood by and let it happen. I have no doubt many were thinking WTF, that's not right, and yet did nothing.
Is it the same sort of racism - no. But it's not acceptable.