[Closed] What three things would you ban if you were in charge?

Daily Mail
Jeremy Kyle
Krispy Kreme Donuts

1. Celebrities being famous for being famous
2. Inane questions on internet forums.
3. People who respond to inane questions on internet forums
😉

conservative party,

Coffee shops selling boiled coloured water in paper cups,at extotianate prices.

women buying stuff in supermarkets, just walk in luv, pop it in basket and pay, not stand there haveing a transmeditation episode with a tin of beans.

Football
Religion
All TV shows with phone/sms voting

Scouse accent

🙄

Shareholders
Religion
Estate agents

the internet.
middle-aged men.
non-heinz beans.

1 - Banning things
2 - See above
3 - Erm

Lycra
SPD's
People who use them, from posting on the internet. 😉

Horses

People who ride horses

People who object to rule 1 & 2.

I'm sure ill change my policies when I recover from this mornings equine fancier - bike interface.

Intolerance

Xenophobia

Gypsies

😉

Work
Housework
DIY

Come on Loco, stick by your guns

• Salads
• Ownership of viscous dogs
• Any laws preventing hunting Tory MP's with all the freshly confiscated viscous dogs

1. Tobacco
2. Politicians
3. Alcohol
4. Religion

I'd also implement a law forcing people to learn how to count properly.

People who are intolerant of other people's cultures
and the Dutch

[quote=binners pointlessly vacillated]
• Salads

Even *Glasgow* salad?

[quote=binners pointlessly vacillated]
• Ownership of viscous dogs

Did you mean [url= http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/viscous ]vicious[/url]?

[quote=binners pointlessly vacillated]
• Any laws preventing hunting Tory MP's with all the freshly confiscated viscous dogs

See above. But yes.

1. The bike industry changing standards for everything so that I can actually replace a part of my bike without having to replace most of the other bits of it at the same time.

2. ...............................Nope, that'll do for now.

smoking in public - sick of walking down a street behind some tewat lunging a fag.
commuter trainers - nice suit, crisp shirt, silk tie and horrendous big white comfy trainers? no
bromptons. your bikes are shit and you look a fool.

dangerousbeans - Member

1. The bike industry changing standards for everything so that I can actually replace a part of my bike without having to replace most of the other bits of it at the same time.

2. ...............................Nope, that'll do for now.

Might I be so bold as to apply my idea of hunting with dogs the people responsible for this?

Intolerance
Angry little men
Daily mail

Should sort a lot out.

Might I be so bold as to apply my idea of hunting with dogs the people responsible for this?

Now there's a thought. 😀

Religion
HGVs in the third lane of four-lane motorways
Religion

Did you mean vicious?

No he meant sticky, claggy, viscous dogs.

[img] [/img]

Dogs should be sleek, smooth and slippery

[img] [/img]

1) Lists
b) Inventories
iii) Indexes

1. Cars
2. Daily Mail
3. Public Smoking.

The list might change tomorrow depending on what mood I'm in.

1. Fatties from using vending machines (some kind of blood test / finger print recognition should do the trick)
2. Non alcoholic beer
3. I'd ban anyone who refuses to pay to park at trail centres from riding a mtb again. If you cant spend a couple of quid to park your X5 you can get the road bike out.

1. wearing your trousers so they sit round your ankles showing off your CK pants - PULL THE F*****G THINGS UP

2. Automated sales robots

3. BT

Probably democracy, then after I've had my other 2 wishes, well i'm still in charge, so my social revolution can continue unabated.

I think this may have been done before with varying degree's of success! 😆

1. Bad House Music compilation CDs
2. Flat tyres first thing Monday morning
3. Shallow celebrity culture
4. Casual sexism

Democracy (beaten to it)
Non Smokers (you know it looks cool)
MAMILS (no need, EVER!! With banishment from UK for pro kit wearers)

1. Politicians who want to be politicians
2. Fish (the animal, not the singer)
3. Hanging clothes on door handles
4. People who answer 4 questions when they were only asked 3. That's right emsz, I'm looking at you. And errm, me.

1. People taking too long to put petrol in their car, or that put petrol in their car and then do their weekly shop in the petrol station, chatting to the attendant without a care, when there is CLEARLY somebody waiting to use the pump!
2. Dogs off leads.
3. Other people's children.

I couldn't decide between Bad house music and celebrities that I just want to kill, so there both on the list.

5. Mcmuffins

1. Religion
2. Football
3. Corruption in politics

4. Casual sexism

Calm down love...

emsz - Member

1. Bad House Music compilation CDs

I just thought they made their way to gyms to die, unnoticed and unloved, surrounded by sweaty narcissists?

5. Mcmuffins

Do you mean like sausage and egg Mcmuffins? Or is this a euphemism for something altogether different? Possibly related to floury baps?

1. White, German 4x4s with black alloys.
2. Multiple bird roasts, quail in a duck in a turkey in a goose.
3. Apathy.

Binners, the sausage and egg vileness.....

See 4 you bad bad man 😆

emsz - you can't ban sausage and egg Mcmuffins!! 😯

Don't hate them. You simply misunderstand they're reason for being. You're thinking of them as food. They're not that. They're the Ground Zero of hangover cures. Somewhere, deep in a subterranean lab, a team of the worlds finest brains are working on being able to compress them into the form of a pill. To be taken with the accompanying orange pill, that contains a can of Irn Bru.

When they achieve this, we'll be able to laugh in the face of even Withnail-esque drinking binges on a school night! 😀

No he meant sticky, claggy, viscous dogs.

but Sudocrem'd cats are still OK I hope?

1. Jam
2. White saddles and grips, unless cleaned properly if even the slightest bit grubby, otherwise they're just that mingy soiled white colour, eugh!
3. People who stand at road crossings NOT pushing the button and just waiting and waiting and waiting...

1. Baddies
2. Tossers
3. Seagulls

Ahhh, peace.

Tractors on the road between 6am and 6pm
Horses on bridleways. Thanks for developing them Horses, now p1ss off.
Road bikes

1) debates about wheel size (29ers are better)
2) debates about hiking Vs trap on dinghies (traps just remove the requirement for fitness and skill)
3) Nightclub entry fee's that are more than a reasnobly priced drink.

quite a few of these I agree with - which makes me think that I would be happy with a benign dictatorship.... :/

I would say that you've all shot a bit low, just ban McDonalds in its entirety for the good of the health of the nation
ok my 3

1) The Daily Express
2) Golf
3) the CocaCola company and Pepsico ltd

1. Drivers who don't indicate
2. Discrimination against smokers
3. My neighbours

1, Umbrellas.
2, Using public transport at commuter times if you're retired.
3, Any business that doesn't let you pay by card.

1, Anyone so departed from emotional reality that they need to make a fake emotional outpouring every time some celebrity hafwit dies.
2, Cats
3, People who dash to get in front of you, then move really really slowly, as if they think you lost and therefore have to suffer for it (I work with lots of Italians, Spanish and Portuguese and it just seems to be part of their culture, but one day they will push me too far and will all die horrible painful deaths).

1) Wood burning stoves
2) Coffee machines
3) Cut throat razors
4) Poncey watches
5) Audis
6) BMW
7) HiFi
8 ) AV
9) Monday night pub rides
10) Mid-life crises
11) Bloody Scotland
12) Moaning about house prices.
13) And any altercations where it’s quite clear the poster’s first thoughts, after said altercation, were…. I can’t wait to get this on STW

Only three of these are my true picks…. I’m just not sure which.

#1 the diet industry
#2 reality tv
#3 hippies

As already said :

Religion
Football

and I will add large 4 wheel drive vehicles with low profile tyres...

1) Badly perforated toilet rolls that tear everywhere but across the perforations
2) Pretty "sweetshop" flavoured ciders.
3) People who blame their tyres for their lack of skill.

1.) that peach coloured fabric that's kind of high viz and was very fashionable with a certain class of lady a few years back.
2.) Iceberg Lettuce
3.) Extendible dog leads

1. Cheese with bits in.
2. Religion.
3. Politicians.

and just to be awkward:

4. People talking about how *AMAZEBALLS* their child is.

1. Not picking up dog shit
2. Driving whilst using a mobile phone
3. Eating with your mouth open

All capital offences now under my new regime

6. Yankee candles

7. Colour co-ordinating scatter cushions, curtains and carpets. Everyone loves good decor, no one loves a try hard

2. Driving whilst using a mobile phone
3. Eating with your mouth open

viscous dogs

chortles.

How about Eating with your mouth open at the same time as talking on your mobile phone whilst driving?

Punishable by sex with Anne Widdicombe

1 - chicken
2 - processed food
3 - people late for meetings 🙄

1. Bureaucrats.
2. Jobworths.
3. Anyone that goes against my wishes.

1. The promotion of any religion to anyone below the age if 16. If you want to be a chrustian/Muslim/Buddhist/etc you can be but only when you're at an age to make a sensible, informed decision. Basically no being brought up as "insert religion here" or indoctrination as it will now be called. No more christening's, baptisms or circumcisms thank you.
2. Party names on voting slips and campaign literature. Replace with the candidates name and the policies they stand for and make people vote for the policies not the parties.
3. The ability to become an mp without a minimum of 10 years of work experience. I don't care whether you've been a builder or a banker, you just have to have spent time working away from politics.

That'll do for a start I think.

I've been giving this topic some considered thought, but after reading lunge's three, I find it difficult to argue with those.
I would otherwise have started with football...

[i]Colour co-ordinating scatter cushions, curtains and carpets.[/i]

Good call! Scatter cushions! What a complete and utter waste of time. They render any item of furniture completely unusable for it's intended purpose. It's OK in my house because I just throw them on the floor but when you're in someone elses house what do you do? Try and get in between them? Gently place them down the side of the sofa or just end up sitting with them making the whole think incredibly uncomfortable and you come away with rickets!

1. Pensioners from making appointments, being in shops or town centres before 9am, between 12 and 2, and after 5pm during the week, and at weekends.
2. Tabloid newspapers.
3. Gripshift

1. Incomplete answers

television
anyone who wears adidas tracksuit bottoms to go out in...
inconsiderate people
flipflops or sandals for anywhere except the beach

1. Neutral colours like beige, pale brown, beige, cream and more beige.
2. People who let their dogs plop everywhere
3. Car journeys of less than a mile (exceptions made for moving heavy loads, or disability)

All cars faster than a Nissan Micra K11.
Tattooed bald blokes.
Ear wax.

I forgot to add - nature programmes that give wild animals names.

I'm on a roll now, I must be feeling a bit tetchy today!

Baristas who think that a cappuccino is a bucketful of overheated under frothed coffee!
People who say: "things happen for a reason"

Cars on Tuesdays and Thursdays
Reality TV
Whining lefties with chips on their shoulders.

Celebrities
Footballers
Scumbags

Coke Zero
Blended Whisky
Courgettes

1 Daily Mail

2 UKIP

3 Using the word "like" more than once in a sentence

Insurance
Negativity
Dog Poo

bankers
religion
politics

as a result, there wouldn't be war. RESULT.

29ers
Vegetables
Anyone who doesn't like Holly Willoughby.

Babies.
Chavs.
People who don't accept social responsibility for their own actions.