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I've got a relative who is struggling. Some deep rooted issues from childhood (loss of parent) mean they never truly learned to be emotionally independant. A broke marriage later they are near rock bottom. Drinking too much, pushed most friends/family away, financially in a hole, sleeping pills, anti depressants, kids running wild, suicidal talk etc etc. Its a mess.
I'm taking some solace that they recognise the issues to some extent (admits drinks too much, cant handle perceived rejection, knows they are isolating themselves from people who care). They just can never decide 'now' is the time to get it all sorted.
I've persuaded them to let me go see their 'care worker' (think that is the term) with them next week. Previous visits have resulted in nudge in the direction of the doctor, a change anti depressent medication and a AA phone number to take home.
My belief is the only way they will heal is to get some psychological help/treatment to unpick the deep rooted issues form childood and understand/control how they react to those issues/feelings.
Any advice on what i should be asking for in such a situation?
Don't try and force them down any of the support routes available, they will just fight. The best thing you can do for them is to 'be there' during the meeting, involve them in every discussion you initiate and allow them to take in any information given. The
care worker should be able to talk you through all the options locally and ask for leaflets or web addresses to refer to at a later time.
Then allow them to go away and think about it all before making a decision. It's far, far easier if you allow them to believe they are making a decision themselves as they are much less likely to push back and not engage.
You've got the hardest part out of the way in that they recognise the issue. Encourage them to follow a path out but don't do any more than that. It's a very hard line to tread but it is possible. I've had to go through it far too often with my mum (bipolar with severe anxiety brought on by childhood experiences) so know it's tough to do. You will need a boatload of patience and you must fully expect to have the 'two steps forward, one step back' routine thrust at you in a regular basis but it isn't a thankless prospect.
Good luck.
thanks @reluctantjumper. appreciate the advice.
Any ideas of what sorts of therapy may be on offer? While I am aware the NHS is amazing I'm also aware that sometimes if you know what should be happening/options are available you can avoid slipping through cracks.
Some pointers on what sorts of therapies might be offered/available might help me be prepared (psychiatrists, CBT, etc)?
What worked/helps for you mum (sounds similar experiances!)?
You should have CBT, 1-1 sessions and a few other courses available but it really is very dependant on what is around in your area. My mum lives quite rural so there were fewer options for her than I would get in the city for example. There's also the issue of funding for places and the massive backlog too so my best advice would be to see what the care worker says is available in your area then follow that up with a call to local charities too, they will know of ways to get fast-tracked if possible.
My mum started her journey over 20 years ago, back when there was a dedicated Mental Health hospital within 20 miles so she went there for the initial help. That's no longer an option (it's a derelict building!) but she does get regular sessions at the local GP surgery. Sorry I can't give more specific help but it really is dependant on what is round you! Mental health and addiction therapy is such a complicated sphere it's best I leave it to the professionals. It's mainly a case of asking the right people and following the correct paths to access what help there is, this changes for every area. If you are willing to help your relative long-term then just keep plugging away at the mental health team, they will do their utmost to help and really do work miracles in very difficult circumstances.