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I went to bed about 11pm last night. Three kids (15, 13, 11) already in bed, as was Mrs S
We don't really use downstairs ceiling lights as have lamps on smart plugs everywhere. So at 11pm I let the dog out then sent her to her bed in the utility room. I said Alexa, Goodnight, all the lamps were killed and downstairs of house fell into darkness apart from lamp on the stairs which stays on for 2 mins.
At 12.15am my phone alarm goes off. Totally random, no reason why it should be set for then but I figured I accidently changed it, no big deal.
at 01.15am the dog starts barking. Not a big angry bark, just repeated quiet barks at 10 second or so intervals. This is really weird, she never barks. So I came downstairs and every ceiling light was on. Every single one. Front room, back room, kitchen, bathroom, utility, hallway and outside lights. Absolutely no way I left them on, I know that categorically. Checked and all the doors were secured.
Odds are that it was a sleep walking kids but none of them have ever slept walked before let alone done anything like this. Their lights were off and doors closed. I'm pretty sure none of them would have been awake or done it as a wind up. They are all terrible liars and all looked scared when I wold them about it this morning.
Do I need to get a priest in to burn the house down?
Probably a koala.
You should dust for fingerprints
I use a light switch for that application. They cost £1.50 each and never ever glitch.
Unreliable technology or poltergeist 🤔
I use a light switch for that application. They cost £1.50 each and never ever glitch.
I also have non glitchy £1.50 light switches on my ceiling lights. This wasn't a glitch of anything smart, the smart plugs are only on our lamps, not on the ceiling lights.
The lights that were turned on need to be physically turned on, traditional, normal wall switches on LED downlighters. Not smart.
Can koalas reach high enough to get to the light switches?
At 20-11-20 Skynet became self aware,it is now going to control your life using the toaster and microwave.
Arnie voice >>Message me if you want to live<< Arnie voice

A poltergeist then
It's the true price of conveinance by the sounds of it
Can koalas reach high enough to get to the light switches?
Accomplished climber, yer koala.
perchypanther
Free Member
Probably a koala.You should dust for
fingerprintschlamydia
Fixed that for you Perchy... 😉
A poltergeist then
Thought so. I'll sacrifice a small goat later to scare them off.
Can Koalas get high enough to turn in to Drop Bears?
It’s the true price of conveinance by the sounds of it
A blood sacrifice is demanded.
Alexa burp was my first thought, but then I re-read and you say it was the traditional manual "ceiling" switches which were on, which aren't controlled by Alexa. Occam's razor principle would say it was one of the kids either sleepwalking or having a laugh. Were ALL the ceiling lights on, or just those on a certain route through the house?
Can Koalas get high enough to turn in to Drop Bears?
Probably.
OP had best get a jar of Vegemite, just to be safe.
With a bit of organisation, you can check for messages from the Upside Down.

Occam’s razor principle would say it was one of the kids either sleepwalking or having a laugh. Were ALL the ceiling lights on, or just those on a certain route through the house?
I agree, sleepwalking is front runner. Its just quite a leap from no sleepwalking activity ever to full on weirdness. All of the lights were on except front porch and garage, so not just those on a route.
Probably a koala.
You should dust for fingerprints

Dog was temporarily understood by Alexa. 😉
my Hue setup does this. It's a powertrip which cycles the lights and puts them on when power is restored.

my Hue setup does this. It’s a powertrip which cycles the lights and puts them on when power is restored.
Except in my case none of the lights that were turned on are linked to anything smart, they are just normal downlighters with wall switches
ah sorry I read that as smart bulbs. Best call these guys

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Listen, can you smell that
Eucalyptus?

Being honest:
Your phone
Your dog
Your lights you turned off
Starting to see the common element?
You are possessed. Kill yourself now.
Do I need to get a priest in to burn the house down?
No priest required just petrol, match and marshmallows 😉
one of the kids got up for a pee , still half a asleep (but not sleepwalking), went downstairs turning lights on as they went. Went back to bed , but didnt turn the lights off.
My son does it all the time (but there was a first time), and cant remember ever doing it. I end up waking up around 2am, and going and turning all the lights off.
Cant explain why your phone alarm went off though - that was probably aliens - have you got a sore rectum this morning?
Did you ask the Dog?
did each bark coincide with her turning on a light looking for Koala's/drop bears/poltergeists/biscuits (delete as appropriate). Or is she scared of the dark?
Dog was temporarily understood by Alexa.
Just wait to see what drops from Amazon at the weekend 🙂

Some excellent advice here:
https://www.imove.com/blog/how-to-not-move-a-poltergeist-or-spirit-when-you-move/
So how do you know if you’re living with a spirit in the first place? More than anything, you should trust your instincts.
“It could be a feeling that someone is watching you,” Jackson said, “or it can be as blatant as things moving.”
Unidentifiable uneasiness is the main thing to look for – if your gut feeling is that there is a ghost or spirit in your life, don’t be quick to dismiss those feelings as “crazy.”
The next, most important step, is figuring out what you’re dealing with. If an entity is hanging out around you, your house, or even your car, there’s probably a story as to why; the trick is to figure out what that story is.
Jackson outlined an effective process she typically uses to establish contact:
Start with a twist-on flashlight and twist it until it’s barely in the on or off position.
Sweep it over the room or area you suspect the entity is in.
Explain loudly and clearly that “on means yes” and “off means no” – the order you choose does not particularly matter.
Ask clear, deliberate questions while paying close attention to the flashlight. Yes or no questions are typically the easiest questions to elicit a response.
This works as a DIY solution, but Jackson herself uses a variety of equipment for communication, including an EVP recorder, light meter, teslameter, infrared detector, and sound recorder. All of these are devices that measure slight changes in the atmosphere of a room.“These entities can use this equipment as a form of communication – all of it,” said Jackson. “Everybody has the capability of looking within and asking for a response,” she continued. But the key to getting a response is listening.
Man lives in house with teenagers, notices lights are switched on.
Sorry, this horror mystery is not quite working for me yet.
Glitch in the simulation. Better keep quiet before "they" come and get you.
Man lives in house with teenagers, notices lights are switched on.
Doesn't make a loud comment about Blackpool Illuminations.
Definitely something strange happening here.
Could a Koala be arsed? They would probably get a Wombat to do it for them. Did you find any Wombat turds this morning?
Did you find any Wombat turds this morning?
There's some weird shit going on, that's for sure.
Alexa has turned in to a bunny boiler for something you have done. It is only going to get worse from now on.
Wombat turds
Didn't I hear them do a live set on Marc Radcliffe's show on R6M?
Did you check you're kids heads weren't spinning?
Almost certainly a ghost unless the Dog's playing games with you. Sleep well.
OP - do you live in Borley Rectory?
"Marianne, please get help..."
Alexa has simply gained control of the manual switches and is one step closer to becoming sentient. It set your phone off on purpose so you’d see the lights. This is stage one of operation Amazon.
You're all mistaking Koala's with Drop Bears.
I always thought the word poltergeist is German for "noisy ghost."
It is actually German for "rumble ghost."
I suspect you have a "Lichtschaltergeist."
Occam's razor:
1) Someone was sleepwalking. Possibly you after being unusually disturbed at 12:15am.
2) One of the kids did it and is lying because they don't want to get in trouble for knocking about at 1 in the morning.
3) Someone within is pranking you.
4) Someone without is pranking you. Who do you know who has a spare key?
5) The dog has learned how to jump up at light switches.
I read a story once about a guy from Glasgow who's nickname was 'the exorcist', as he never left your house until all your spirits were gone.
I'd find him.
6) Koala.
7) Human trying to incriminate a koala.
9) The restless sprit of a koala who died in the house. Never discount the marsupernatural.
1337 P0lt3rg31st HaXx0rz
I thought about putting a smart socket/plug for the router so I could kill the internet if the teens wouldn't get off it, then I realised I'd need internet for the thing to switch back on - doh !!!
The restless sprit of a koala who died in the house. Never discount the marsupernatural.
Someone ban him FFS.
Re kids sleepwalking - there's always a first time, plus it doesn't need to be regular. I had a weird night time hallucination weirdness thing when I was a kid, just once.
Did you not know that Alexa is part of a global conspiracy to control the world? In America it forced people to vote Biden by subliminal messaging while they slept. Rudi has evidence and I read it on t'internet so its all real. Starts with the lights switching on and off apparently...
Need more info. Were there any frozen sausages hammered into anything? Was the dog backed into a corner with a very surprised look on his face?
Do I need to get a priest in to burn the house down?
No priest required just petrol, match and marshmallows
Or a deep fat friar
has anyone cracked open an Alexa and looked inside?
Just a thought. Is your wife called Louise?
Or a deep fat friar
Nice work.
Thought so. I’ll sacrifice a small goat later to scare them off.
A kid
You need to sacrifice a kid. Got any? Oh yeah. The others will soon learn
Nycloptic Koala broke into your house looking for sausage?
Didnt find any so left, leaving the light on and collapsed in the street and didnt require medical attention
Could a Koala be arsed?
all to willingly- that’s how they get chlamydia
It sounds like the dog got arsed too - slowly but very deliberately. So expect an awkward conversation with your vet and an eye watering bill
Just a thought. Is your wife called Louise?
No.
But the Chlamydia infested Koala is.
Be afraid.

Has anyone in the household had a flu jab recently, and a 5G mast nearby? This could be Beta testing of the control chip.
You can check Alexa commands in the Alexa app to see if there were any strange late night requests by children if they have Alexa’s.
I reckon it was you sleepwalking
Was the dog backed into a corner with a very surprised look on his face?
Well, I laughed.
expect an awkward conversation with your vet and an eye watering bill
There's a pelican too?
Or a deep fat friar
This deserves more recognition. Excellent work
I think it was Robin

Or your local friendly drug addict who popped in to say hello and forgot to switch the lights off when he left
Can Koalas get high enough to turn in to Drop Bears?
How high does a eucalyptus grow?
Could a Koala be arsed? They would probably get a Wombat to do it for them. Did you find any Wombat turds this morning?
Nah, they get quolls to do it - nobody suspects a quoll...

I mean, look at that cute little face...
Rogue elf on a shelf?
Rogue elf on a shelf?
It was supposed to be secret but I've been allowed to tell you special folk at STW about it now. It's a new offering; where they are less than busy currently because all the shops are closed and consequently toys aren't being bought at the same rate, they've followed the gov instructions to reskill. So they've branched out into a fairyfolk version of these home hub setups. It's only a pilot in your area currently but if it proves popular it'll be rolled out across the country later.
It'll be called the National Elf Service.
You forgot to switch them off like you normally do.
Koalas? Amateurs. It's all about the raccoons man.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=Ofp26_oc4CA
