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Following on from the ungrateful teenagers thread - what gift will make you die a little inside and force and smiley 'thank-you'!
For me it's biographies - I just hate them! All that 'woe is me, look how awful my childhood was, and how awesome I've become' twaddle.
At least the charity shop gets the benefit in the New Year.
Thankfully my previous bug-bear - the comedy DVD has fallen out of fashion!
I have dozens of these, unopened. No more, please.
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No more, please.
I'm in my 40's and a bit bah bumbug. So unless I can drink it, eat it or preferably share it, then it's probably useless.
Here we go - found one of things that appear every year:
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MIL has realised this year that they last really well - at least 10 years per bottle.
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The crap that the lovely Mrs B's family feel they need to put in a "stocking" for each of us. Crap like a keyring torch, some handkerchiefs, a crap screwdriver with interchangeable heads or a pair of mahoosive quilted gloves from sports direct that they thought "would be good for when I'm cycling". I'll also probably get yet another 2l bottle of Friedland balsamic vinegar from Costco because I once remarked that I liked balsamic vinegar.
Outdoor shoes! Wtf are outdoor shoes? They're shoes that you leave by the back door for when you just need to nip outside. The charity shop has had them twice in four years - along with a 2inch thick plastic wallet that has a handy LCD photo frame installed where you'd normally put useless things like your credit cards or driving licence...
Aaargh. Please stop wasting your money on crap!!!
A Cold
generally the people who have to give a gift to everyone. but couldn't think of anything good for some people. so got you something silly. it's just tat and a waste of resources. I know wine/ chocloates is a bit generic but at least i can enjoy it. WTF do i want with an executive desk toy.
Any gift at all will make me grumpy - I've been asking people for years not to buy me anything for birthday/Xmas etc and to make a donation to charity instead, please. Do they listen? Do they ****! "Ooh, you must want something?" - NO I BLOODY DON'T!!!!!
And breathe....
A jar of Humbugs! 😆
A seven dwarves plaster cast kit.
😆
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Chocolate or sweets - 'but you used to like them' 'yes when i was 12'
Blended whisky arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggh
Seasonal beers from Aldi
Scarves noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Crap running/cycling gear from Asda/Tesco
Car sponges
Driving gloves PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MAKE IT STOP
Z-list celebrity shower gel
PP - maybe they're trying to tell you something
Do you have the complexion of a French Ski Instructor, and look a bit like this....
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PP - maybe they're trying to tell you something
Yep. I've got a face like Sid James' nutsack. 😀
acidtest -, ask for Lynx England. It smells of cigarettes and quiet despair
I don't like any of the Lynx range, it's all just too chemical for my liking.
Anything from the end of aisle display in a supermarket
A power kite. I've got this daft old uncle who thinks I'm interested in outdoorsy nonsense, when all I want to do is play computer games and read comics. I wish he'd just give it to a kid in Africa or something.
I was a chef, for a year, 20 years ago, yet every xmas for some reason my family buy my cook books, i have a collection of about 30, and that's despite me giving away a load.
Plus i remarked about cheese once, so i've had a cheese board (from Asda) every year for the last 3 years, i do like cheese but not enough i've worn a piece of cheap slate through in 12 months!
Lego Technic (pretending to be Lego)
Aaargh. Please stop wasting your money on crap!!!
This. Just the thought that folks have wasted money on something that will get stuffed into a cupboard and forgotten 🙁
Another 12 months subscription of Horse and Hound Magazine.
I keep telling them " The dog ran away and I ate the horse".
justinbieber - Member
A power kite. I've got this daft old uncle who thinks I'm interested in outdoorsy nonsense, when all I want to do is play computer games and read comics. I wish he'd just give it to a kid in Africa or something.
😀
My wife has just grumped off to bed reminding me that we have to sort out presents fro everyone this weekend (we live overseas so have to do most of it online).
woody2000 - Member
Any gift at all will make me grumpy - I've been asking people for years not to buy me anything for birthday/Xmas etc and to make a donation to charity instead, please. Do they listen? Do they ****! "Ooh, you must want something?" - NO I BLOODY DON'T!!!!!And breathe....
Are you me? Very much this. We're fortunate that we are very comfortable in life and generally buy ourselves 'stuff' when we want it. I don't want people to guess what I want and just buy me any old crap out of some sense of obligation. It's a waste of their money and usually ignores what I actually want e.g. a donation to charity if you must do something, which seems to ignore the spirit of Christmas.
Gift packs. Gift packs of anything. Just get me the contents if you have to, it'll be half the price and use less packaging.
blinkin nora!!
Grumpy about receiving gifts!?!?!
The Meldrew factor in this place is unbelievable sometimes
"Funny" books about rugby. My lovely mum's speciality. Where she finds a different one every year from, I just don't know.
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Aren't they all just a reference to odd shaped balls dezzy?
Money in envelopes, whilst infinitely better than some of the crap already mentioned, i just find it lazy & impersonal. do you not know me well enough or can you not be bothered to buy something i might like? so much cool shit out there!!
If someone gives the dog another bloody squeeky cracker...
Christmas spirit in our house.... from sort of from mid november-ish, all the packages that regularly arrive from CRC, Wiggle, Amazon or ASOS etc are generally intercepted , whisked away, wrapped up and hidden till xmas day. you get very few surprises but at least no disappointments... except that time i ordered a puppy.....
mahalo - Member
Money in envelopes, whilst infinitely better than some of the crap already mentioned, i just find it lazy & impersonal. do you not know me well enough or can you not be bothered to buy something i might like? so much cool shit out there!!
That's the thing though, how do random relations know what you want? For instance, right now I am, at any given point in time, planning an Ewok village complex of treehouses in my head, ready to build with my son this summer. So things I want include a couple of 250+-by-something beams, some flooring joists, decking timber, joist hangers, various specific types of coach screws, etc. etc. But none of that is anything that someone could buy me, as it needs to be exactly what I need (which will change daily as it will be an ad hoc build), not something that someone has guessed that I might want.
Presents bought out of obligation are a waste of everyone's time, and resources in general.
[i]Aren't they all just a reference to odd shaped balls dezzy?[/i]
Ah, if only!
My BIL moved into* his own place around a year ago. He still doesn't have much in the way of cooking equipment. Mainly because he's in the "won't cook" camp.
So we've bought him some saucepans and utensils. Will he want them? Unlikely. Will he need them - yes, one day his mother will be too old to wait on him.
What he'll really want are comic books and computer games....
*Sort of. It's rather complicated, but I think the transition away from parental care to living by himself is hampered by a family who won't push him a little harder to take on basic responsibilities.
What he'll really want are comic books and computer games....
Power Kite it is then!
I have expensive tastes. I would never expect anyone to buy me anything whatsoever, let alone the sort of pricey stuff I aspire to owning. I loathe feeling indebted to people, which is how receiving gifts makes me feel.
So, pretty much any present will make me grumpy unless it's vouchers to spend at Piccadilly Records, something we can do as a family or something I can do with my daughter (for my 40th birthday this year she gave me the Lego Mini Cooper and we've been building it together (actually, I just help her build it)).
the other 6 dwarves
Its the thought that counts - so none.
(but hopefully no one will waste hard earned cash on the wrong thing!)
Another putting machine off the sister-in-law could be breaking point, had 3 so far in last 10 years and I do not play golf!
That much thought goes into it she obviously forgets 🙂
Oh i`m also nearly down to the bottom row of leather wallets in my wallet drawer!
Maybe we start an unwanted tat swapshop thread in January. 🙂
Cocaine
Some random tat with a picture of a bike stuck on it.
Anything that isn't [i]real ale[/i] or similar edible/drinkable.
I like consumables as presents, I can guarantee it will get used and enjoyed.
However, stuff, I just buy myself stuff when I need it. I don't need cheap crap bought out of obligation. One of my personal highlights some years ago was a miniature battery powered air hockey game. What the actual f were they thinking? I was thirty years old for gods sake. It didn't even work properly. Bits of the earth died for that shite.
^^Spam.
If anyone sends me any more tins of Spam I will fritter their soul.
A sweater, I always get a bloody sweater...
.
.
.
.
.
...It was a screamer I asked for 😉
On the upside, my grandchildren usually give me something personal, like a photo calendar or something and this makes me really happy.
That looks like a fantastic idea! but where on earth would you get something so beautiful, unique and special?
anything novelty, mugs, silly little games made of wood or bent wire, books about urban myth jokes or 3 miniatures of horrible booze with a crappy little shot glass. basically anything piled up at the end of supermarket isles at christmas for those the without imagination.
it’s not the lack of though that gets my goat it’s the waste, i cant stand the fact that this crap is destined for landfill.
Any gift that is a “couple” gift ,which in effect is really just a gift for Mrs Zip with my name added to the label.
My hatred of the theatre is only equalled by Mrs zip’s love of it.
We get theatre vouchers.
Photo calendars. Hate them, pure evil, and I despise the people that peddle these pieces of tat.
That looks like a fantastic idea! but where on earth would you get something so beautiful, unique and special?
I totally agree. I have just done a Google search and found all these great providers:
https://www.vistaprint.co.uk/photo-gifts/calendars
https://www.funkypigeon.com/gifts/calendars
https://www.snapfish.co.uk/2/photo-calendars
https://www.photobox.co.uk/shop/calendars-and-diaries
https://www.bonusprint.co.uk/photo-calendars
https://www.truprint.co.uk/personalised-gifts/photo-calendars
https://www.bootsphoto.com/photo-gift/photo-calendars
www.aldiphotos.co.uk/calendars/
https://www.tescophoto.com/photo_calendars_diaries
https://photo.jessops.com/calendars/
Holy spam thread resurrection!
As it's been resurrected I want to hear more about WillH's Ewok village.
Yak - MemberHere we go - found one of things that appear every year:
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At least they put your name on it.
Might be an old thread but this made me laugh as I can totally relate
a pair of mahoosive quilted gloves from sports direct that they thought "would be good for when I'm cycling".
Thanks Johndoh ,I have been looking for an outlet to use for all my Callander photos.
I am going to call it The Calendar of all Callanders.
As it's been resurrected I want to hear more about WillH's Ewok village.
Did it ever get built
Thanks Johndoh ,I have been looking for an outlet to use for all my Callander photos.
I am going to call it The Calendar of all Callanders.
There surely must be a market for a colander calendar.
Just checked and it's bin done!
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Gift sets of highly perfumed shower gel/shampoo/deodorant. I have a delicate complexion so these leave me raw and scaley.
Clothing, I always hate it, it'll be some 'Dad wear' crap I won't like and then take shit for not liking it / wearing it, even though it supposedly "looks nice".
I've tried to explain to my wife, I would think of a gift of clothes in the same way you would me getting you a couple of tyres for your car - yeah you might need them, but you really have zero interest in them.
Worst gift ever though was a plastic 'chrome' revolving spice rack thing. It was huge in a kitchen that was already all too small, I do all the cooking, not because I enjoy it, but because no one else will - it was an ugly way to say "try harder" and it actually made me sad to look at it, within a few weeks the rack itself was gone because of it's stupidly impractical size of it and the plastic 'chrome' jars themselves were pitting and cracking, binned the lot, not sure I used any of it.
Still, I've bought some really shit gifts for people before now.
Ewok village thread, it's pretty awesome
[url= http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/a-treehouse-thread ]Ewok[/url]
Photo calendars. Hate them, pure evil, and I despise the people that peddle these pieces of tat.
I hate these too BUT last year I got an ace one. A friend of mine has a really battered Barbour jacket which really should be binned (I don’t think even Barbour themselves are prepared to fix it) and we all take the Mick out of him about it. Last year I got a flip desk calendar with a different picture of him wearing this coat in various countryside situations - I have it on my drawers in the bedroom and it makes me laugh every morning!!
Shower gel and spray sets - I LOVE THESE! I resent having to buy them when I’m shopping and so I love getting a stash of them at Christmas as they will last me most of the year and save a ton of cash.
How can anyone not like an envelope with cash in it? I’d rather have that then something I don’t like. The trick is to go out and buy something you really want with it, if it doesn’t pay for it alll then it’s like the person has given you a big discount on something you really want. Or if a few people give you cash you can get something really nice.
Anything - anything at all.
Don't want something bought for me because its xmas or any other celebratory date/occasion/marketing exercise bullshit.
By all means make me something that has meaning because you want to at any point you feel like it but DO NOT do it on some specified date dictated by some twunt somewhere to make profit.
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Photo calendars. Hate them, pure evil, and I despise the people that peddle these pieces of tat.
I've got you next years 'Hunks of Singletrack' one too. Does this mean I have to send it back now? 😥
I love mine!
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Are those Easter eggs?
Binners.. you know you will have to do 11 more now...
EDIT and not all pictures of me.
Maybe we start an unwanted tat swapshop thread in January
dibs on the power kite