What do you want the mobney for?

AML. Anti Money Laundering to you.

What do you want the mobney for?

To buy a big jar of hobney

I'd want it for my nobbly knees.

I’m trying to get £500 in pound coins from Metro for my shop.

I am usually trying to pay them in (to a personal account because I don't want to pay for a business account) and banks/post offices aren't keen on that either

so I said I’m spending it on drugs and prostitutes with the proceeds from my gun running.

Apparently thats ok.

So long as you aren't dodging tax it's all good

I’m trying to get £500 in pound coins from Metro for my shop.

They want to know what it’s for ,how I will pay for it and where the funds came from.

I’ve told them its none of their business, it’s my money in from my account. “According to the terms and conditions” I have to tell them ,so I said I’m spending it on drugs and prostitutes with the proceeds from my gun running.

Apparently thats ok. Why the * do they want to know all the bloody details?

Are all banks as * nosey?

Was that easier than just saying "its the float for my till" presumably from your "business account"?

I’m spending it on drugs and prostitutes with the proceeds from my gun running

The investment thread is over there....(points in emoji)

Metro bank are in the doggy do dos for not being tight on AML, perhaps all their staff are following overly tight new instructions to the letter with warnings if they're lax. Despite being no risk, the rules might apply to your little withdrawal of (non-traceable) coins, and the staff aren't being allowed to use judgement and common sense. Don't blame them.

bank staff are trained to ask these questions for the simple reason its a valuable tool to help protect vulnerable customers who are being scammed and coerced. Rogue traders in particular will pressure customers into drawing out cash to pay for services as its both untraceable and actually gets them away from the house while they do whatever shite pretend work they not actually going to do properly.

In this situation those people are in a state of denial and won't really let themselves believe whats going on. Simply being asked what you are doing with the money - and having to say outloud whats happening is very effective at breaking the spell which is why banks do it

Out of kindness. They are not interrogating you. They are just checking that you are ok and you don't need help

And it was only a question

so I said I’m spending it on drugs and prostitutes with the proceeds from my gun running.

Slow hand clap

Theres you working in a customer facing business being a shit to people who work in customer facing businesses - who were only acting in your best interest

Don't worry though - theres won't be any high street banks soon. So there'll be no-one asking you any questions and also no cash floats for small businesses.

AML checks are one thing, but at the £500 level....that's intrusive in my book.

Anti Money Laundering

I think you launder money by putting cash into a bank - not by taking it out

Yep, part of Banking Regs, you can tell them anything you want, but they don't just type "Coke and hookers" into the system and file it away so, you know... use some common sense.

It's a tiny part of larger system that at least tries to protect honest people. The Finance Ind which Banks are part of is one of the most regulated industries in the world. It's not even a single regulatory body, there are loads, and a lot of the regs forbid them from disclosing what regs they're acting within, or why!

They're looking for lots of things, but a few examples.

Someone who may be vulnerable goes into the bank and asks for £1000 in cash to buy iTunes vouchers, is likely a victim of fraud.

Someone who deposits / withdraws large amounts of cash might be involved in tax evasion,

Someone who deposits large amounts of cash might be involved in crime etc.

Withdrawing 500 pound coins from a personal account would at least merit a question or two. From a business account, I doubt it would so much.

Where are you getting prostitutes for a quid?

Another 39500 ,then you will have enough for a luxury ride.

I think you launder money by putting cash into a bank – not by taking it out

“Get me 500 pound coins, and I’ll give you 11 fifty quid notes”

No one would bother with this these days, but if they’ve gone over the top with instructions to cashiers it might result in this kind of check.

Siscott is more likely “on the money” though. Asking questions to make people think twice.

I said I’m spending it on drugs and prostitutes with the proceeds from my gun running.

Never say anything you wouldn’t want played back, without context, in court.

AML rules are kind of hilarious because you're supposed to find out all this stuff, you might have to reject the transaction entirely, but you're <not allowed to say why> because that's "tipping off". But you're also not allowed to lie.

Go cashless, it's the future. Only people using cash now are dodgy,  making some weird point about not letting the government track them or a very few on the bread line who need cash to budget. I have some sympathy for the latter group but the majority of cash users can get in the sea.

Only people using cash now are dodgy

Of course they are,every single one of em. 😉

I bet the tooth fairy has a PayPal account now.

That pocket money thing was always open to corruption and extortion,so best the young uns have it sent to their mobiles now,far safer.

Less Xmas pudding choking events as well.

Fountains will be a lot cleaner.

Nae kids trying to dive under Wedding cars for coins.

It's a Win ,wIn ,wiN for sure ,none of it will be missed. 🙂

Of course they are,every single one of em.

Rather selective quoting there despite the emoji. All those Chinese takeaways and cash in hand sole traders, upstanding pillars of the community everyone of them, not.

Cougar2

Free Member

Where are you getting prostitutes for a quid?

Asking for a friend?

Never say anything you wouldn’t want played back, without context, in court.

"... anything you do say may be given in evidence."

"Ooh argh ouch please stop hitting me officer."

Asking for a friend?

I mean, quantity vs quality, right?

It’s less to do with AML and more to do with stopping people being scammed. The regulator places responsibilities on institutions to try and prevent their customers being scammed. So, when there’s an unusual transaction it will trigger various questions. It’s not a huge amount of money but it is an unusual request.

[i]What do you want the mobney for?
[/i]

Typing lessons

Thought AML thresholds had more zeros in them.

I know i had to answer loads of questions when i sold my house and transferred the money out of the country.

but the majority of cash users can get in the sea.

I’m fine with paying cash for a kebab on my way home from the pub. Anyone who isn’t can get in the sea. Especially at this time of year.

Especially at this time of year

I have no problem with people using cash, but not sure what bearing the time of year has on it?

Go cashless, it’s the future. Only people using cash now are dodgy, making some weird point about not letting the government track them or a very few on the bread line who need cash to budget. I have some sympathy for the latter group but the majority of cash users can get in the sea.

Would Baroness Mone have been able to get away with daylight robbery if cash had been the only means of transaction?Likewise Bernie Madeoff and all the bank scammers....

Someone should have asked Michelle Mobne: “Hey hobney, what are you going to do with all the mobney?” And they might have worked out that she was a phobney.

Saving up for a trip to Cobney Island.

You’re spending it all on Hob Nobs, obv.

Where are you getting prostitutes for a quid?

The Burnley Prostitue/£ Exchange - so I hear 🙂

BFH
Bus fare home.

Or
You’re buying a car for £499 and the seller doesn’t give change.

Less Xmas pudding choking events as well.

Fewer, standards please! 😉

thecaptain
Free Member

Someone should have asked Michelle Mobne: “Hey hobney, what are you going to do with all the mobney?” And they might have worked out that she was a phobney.

Parkblife

(In a mobney accent obviously)

Guy has a big red spot on his nose. His mate asks how he got it, he replies "I was sniffing a brose." The mate says "'rose' doesn't have a B in it?" - "This one did."

Beware of the hobney then too!