What do I need to buy to make a flat white coffee?

Kettle, cafetiere, mug, teaspoon is all the equipment needed to make a good white coffee

You need espresso and milk. Even if you've got an espresso machine you need quite a decent one to get the right texture for the milk if you want one approaching the quality you get from a decent coffee shop.

You'll be able to make a nice brew with a mocha pot and a milk frother but it won't be the same as a flat white from a cafe

You could make a sort of 2D facsimile using an Aeropress and one of those Aerolatte electric whisks I guess, but you'll never be able to do the whole microfoamed milk thing without a proper machine with a steam nozzle.

Edit: yeah, or a stove-top for the coffee.

If you're anything like the sweet lady at the Dorking station cafe, you simply interpreted ANY 'fancy coffee idea' as Americano with milk.

Flat white... Americano and milk for you.

Latte.... Americano and milk for you...

DrP

Espresso and a steam wand for the milk. Not really sure how to get that with alternative kit. Maybe look at the smallest possible espresso machine with steam wand. Eg sage Bambino is very compact. (Not used one though).

James Hoffmann -
<h1 class="style-scope ytd-watch-metadata">Making Cappuccino/Latte/Flat White at Home (without an Espresso Machine)</h1>

Mrs_oab likes a flat white or latte.

She's got one of these :  https://amzn.eu/d/5PrMI8P

And either a pour over from a Hario v60 or I've a stovetop espresso maker (which took a touch of learning so that it didn't taste all burnt )

https://www.coffee-direct.co.uk/products/coffee-dripper-drip-coffee-maker

https://www.coffee-direct.co.uk/products/italian-style-espresso-coffee-maker

Its all a bit faffy.

Black coffee at home

Flatty oot and aboot

I haven't watched that James Hoffman video. I probably ought to but he does grate a bit.

At home we make a very decent "2d facsimile of a" flat white with Lavazza grinds, an aeropress and a whisk based milk frother. It's a better tool for an approximation of a cappuccino or caffè latte as its less crucial to get the foam right - but a home made flat white like this is still better than a good 75% of the mugs of garbage you'll get served whole out and about unless you're very savvy about where you drink.

If we are at home we make do with Stove top Mocca pot and microwave milk. Stored in a vacuum flask and drunk over the morning

No it’s not a that white. But it’s fine

Minimum equipment?  In your case, probably a new kitchen with space for a decent coffee machine.

But if you can find space - A Sage bean to cup machine for about £400 via eBay refurb is about the same size as two kettles and removes most of the faff and makes a flat white which is better than pretty much all the chain stores. Only a couple of the good independents around here (Bath and Bristol) are better and even then, it still depends.  I like a HOT coffee and that’s not always what you get.

My home flat white uses n espresso machine,but the milk is done with an nespresso frother pot- if you use cappuccino setting but pour it as soon as it’s finished it makes for good textured milk.

Aeropress, Joepresso (optional but does produce more flavour from fewer beans) and Bodum Latteo frother for me. Technically it's not a 'proper' drink (i.e. not actually espresso) but I reckon it's still better than 95%+ of non-specialist coffee shop fare.

Just add a milk frother to your cafetiere and see how you get on. I have a Lavazza branded one and it's fine for at home flat white approximation.

I would use a whisk thing rather than the cafetiere to ease cleaning. You can also get a little electric pot that heats the milk and foams it - Lidl had them recently. It saves scrubbing milk residue out of a pan but I can't vouch for the results as I haven't tried one.

For the coffee part, as above Aeropress is cheap, easy and well regarded - but follow Hoffman's instructions rather than the ones it comes with. But there's also Handpresso type devices. Stovetop/Moka pot also good but there is a technique involved again. Probably takes longer than an Aeropress.

If you’re anything like the sweet lady at the Dorking station cafe, you simply interpreted ANY ‘fancy coffee idea’ as Americano with milk.

Flat white… Americano and milk for you.

Latte…. Americano and milk for you…

I mean, she's right though.

It was when people who like milk in their coffee (and I have no problem with that) started being given all these different options for what is still essentially just a white coffee, that it started taking bloody ages to buy a drink...

dont forget the fancy spoon you need for tasting

https://retail.bonchef.com/product/tabletop/flatware/18-10-flatware/manhattan-rainbow/pvd-manhattan-demitasse-spoon/

Black coffee at home

Flatty oot and aboot

I'm increasingly the other way round. I've had so many really poor 'flat whites' locally -  often the milk is just hot milk - that I'd rather just have an americano when out unless I know they do a decent one.

For a flat white you apparently need 'microfoam' which a milk frother ain't going to give you, you need steam I believe!

I tried making it with my delonghi bean to cup a few years ago and didn't do too badly but the steam wand on my machine simply isn't really good enough.  I'd like to see what a decent Sage B2C machine would produce 'cost I do like a flat white!

At almost £4 for a flat white that is made in a cup not warmed up, left on the counter to be brought over and is tepid to drink

I ping my flat white at home for 10/15 seconds in the microwave if I've been distracted but the artisan barista may make you another and it's much the same

I sometimes just buy a bag of their beans and wait until I get home

I’ve had so many really poor ‘flat whites’ locally

Yes and there's no excuse either. When I was in New Zealand 15+ years ago you could get a decent Flat White almost anywhere. They did invent them though

In general the UK is still really bad at coffee, i.e. you have to seek out something that tastes reasonable. Also I'd much rather have a filter coffee than a watery Americano. Few places seem to do filter coffee now days... the irony being it's what most people want, just a black or white coffee!

The electric milk heater frothers make nice frothy milk, slightly different from a steam wand but still good, cost about £20 to £40 and don't take up massive cupboard space. For low kit buying a small whisk and heat the milk in a pyrex jug in the microwave works well too.

Make strong coffee however. I buy ready ground coffee from the supermarket for this so will never be a connoisseur who can tell you the best way.

often the milk is just hot milk

Genuine question, is that not the point of the 'flat' bit, i.e. not foamy?
I honestly never have milk in my coffee and my wife likes to heat milk to add to hers, but prefers non-foamy and she always orders a flat-white when out.

Those little electric heating & frothing pots are good. The missus bought me a Dualit one last birthday for making cocoa. (I either chop 100% cacao buttons, or f feeling lazy use cocoa powder. So much nicer than sweetened hot choc out and about.)

She likes a latte and it does a pretty nice hands off froth job.  Sometimes I’ll make a short aeropress brew as a base (see Hoffman’s useful how to higher up this thread).
When Lady Mud does it herself, she’s happy with decent instant, meaning it’s a pour, spoon press operation, push the button - wait and it’s done.

My local high end coffee place @ikigaicoffe.brighton (lovely pour over) make an amazing “premium” latte with a “distilled” milk they make in house. It’s creamier/ thicker.
That gave me the idea of using a small scoop of 75% fat coconut milk powder as an addition. It goes down very well with her indoors.
I’m a black coffee lover myself. Filter, if out. Aeropress at home. Wilfa Svart grinder (thanks Dave Gould).

Generally Kontext Coffee beans from skilled roaster Mrs Geometron (really, Katja is the wife of Geometron co owner Marcel) . She also  has a rarely found excellent decaf for afternoon drinking.
https://www.kontextcoffee.com/

enjoy the quest.

I agree on the pods; they’re hateful things even if the coffee’s good enough.

A cafetière likely doesn’t make coffee that’s concentrated enough for what you want. An Aeropress is a very good compromise if you don’t have space for an espresso machine with steam wand. It’s also much quicker and easier to clean than a cafetière.

We also used one of those electric milk frothers (a Lavazza A Moda Mio) for a while. It is a minor pain to clean but does produce heated milk with some froth.

We eventually continued down the slippery slope and found space for a Gaggia Classic a couple of years ago. That’s where we’ve stayed.

I've recently got into coffee a bit more and like the OP I didn't fancy an espresso machine, but do like that style of coffee (more latte than flat white in my case though). Here are a few things that I've learnt.

First, the key to good coffee is fresh beans and a good grinder. Everything else is secondary to that. Buy coffee from a roaster so you know when it was roasted. Grind the beans when you need them and get the best grinder you can justify. Personally I only make one or two coffees a day and went with a hand grinder so that all the money went on the grinding mechanism rather than the motor, but YMMV.

You can make a decent facsimile of an espresso using an aeropess with minimum fuss (and simple cleanup). Just grind espresso fine and use a fairly small amount of water (I use 100ml to 18g of coffee) and a short brew time (e.g. 30s). I actually prefer to grind a bit coarser and brew a bit longer (1 min), but I'm also using lighter roasts and looking for a bit more fruit flavour. Shorter and finer seems to work better for darker "espresso" roasts.

You can make remarkably tasty foam just using a cafetiere. I use a single person one. Stick the required amount of whole milk in. Microwave for one minute them pump vigorously for 10s or so.

So, to get started all the OP really needs is an Aeropress and a decent hand grinder.

Genuine question, is that not the point of the ‘flat’ bit, i.e. not foamy?

No - it's meant to have finer foam than say, a cappucino, and this makes it creamy. Done well it does make a difference to 'mouth feel' as they say in the food industry. The flat white should also have less milk in general for a stronger taste. I've no idea why it's called flat. To get the fine creamy foam you need whole milk because the fat counteracts the ability of the protein to form bubbles and means larger bubbles aren't stable.

I asked them about this in Costa* and whilst it appears their flat white foam isn't particularly creamy the coffee is three shots pulled for half as long. Not sure if other people do that or what the aim is, but a step someone has decided to add for a reason.

* yeah I know - it's my last choice when I want to drink out, I choose the flat white because it has a better ratio of coffee to milk.

Those little electric heating & frothing pots are good.

... if you just want foamy milk, which is not what a flat white should be.

No – it’s meant to have finer foam than say, a cappucino, and this makes it creamy.

What molgrips sed.

If you are thinking it and trying to get a complicated work-around, then you are 9/10ths of the way to jumping into the rabbit hole of home espresso based drinks. Might as well ditch the microwave/toaster/othershitontheworktop and go all in. Then see every other thread on espresso machines.

Hotel chocolate velevetisers make pretty decent foamed milk, if you use skimmed milk you can get really good results quite easily.

On the left is milk from the velvetiser. On the right some milk from my delonghi eletta. The bubbles from the velvetiser are really small but I reckon they don’t last quite as long as those from the delonghi. That said the velvetiser is about £90 with a hotel chocolate card (free) and the delonghi a lot more expensive. For a flat white you’re only looking for a skim of bubbles whereas a cappuccino needs the head to be stronger.

Filter, if out. Aeropress at home. Wilfa Svart grinder (thanks Dave Gould).

Thanks Neil, glad to hear it's still serving you well. A great little grinder!

In your case, probably a new kitchen with space for a decent coffee machine.

But if you can find space – A Sage bean to cup machine for about £400 via eBay refurb is about the same size as two kettles and removes most of the faff and makes a flat white which is better than pretty much all the chain stores. Only a couple of the good independents around here (Bath and Bristol) are better and even then, it still depends.  I like a HOT coffee and that’s not always what you get.

Sadly I think  you'll have to move house OP, ideally to Italy. Then get reincarnated into a rustic coffee house owner in a street cafe in Sicily.  The maybe, MAYBE your great grandchildren may have the skills to make a decent flat white.

We've recently upgraded to a sage bambino, after having used a stove top and milkfrother/heater for years. Only did this as the grinder failed and had to buy a new one and Sage were doing a deal but looked into smaller machines a lot prior too. I'd say immediately you get better coffee and milk from the Sage but theres still a whole lot of faffing about and it does take up a lot more space even though its a small machine. I like the process and enjoy the improved set up but was also very happy with the stove top and milk frother before as well. Its a rabbit hole as everyones said but I'd say its more about the beans and getting stuff that you like to drink then whatever set up suits your space or budget. The grinder is also important and the stove top requires some technique to not get a burnt taste as Matt above said. Since changing to the Sage i've also had more complaints about the temperature of the coffee from my FiL but he's a philistine so **** him!

ignore cynic-al you need to move to New Zealand/ Oz for a decent flat white apparently, Italy, they only do your espressos and cappuccinos! And you'd only need to wait a single generation before you got it right!

For a simple set up I'd go for a burr grinder, handheld or electric, either a stove top or aeropress and then a heated milk frother.

Not being a fan of foamy fancy milk, my go-to sweet spot between faff and quality is a Sage Bambino and Sage grinder for the coffee element, and the milk is just warmed in the microwave.

Using the built-in steam wand in the Bambino does make nicer milk, but only a tiny bit nicer, and it's a lot more faff plus time so reserved for special occasions / lazy weekend mornings rather than a daily morning cuppa

I just use a stovetop pot at home with a knock grinder, makes v good coffee.  Some coffees out are good and worth 4 quid, some worse than home.

Christ, so much pretentious bollocks about a milky coffee! If I ever drink coffee, it’s a mocha when I’m out, but if that’s not available, just black. When the Coop had a big store in Chippenham, they had a little cafe on one side, there weren’t really any others in town, and you got a little cafetière, which gave me a couple of cups, and I’d be buzzing when I left, but now the building, which became Wilco and is now Tesco Express, the cafe bit is going to be a Starbucks, for Chris’sakes! When they opened one in Chippenham, one of the earliest ones, it closed after a year or so because others opened and the competition was better, so I’m giving this one a year.

At home, then I drink tea, just not interested in coffee, and certainly not with all the fannying around that’s apparently necessary just for a hot brew!

[img] [/img]

just not interested in coffee

And yet, here you are on a coffee thread???

And yet, here you are on a coffee thread

..... Stating which are the only two coffees you'll entertain!

Yep, clearly no interest whatsoever ?

and certainly not with all the fannying around that’s apparently necessary just for a hot brew!

Best stick to Tesco value instant if "hot" is your only criteria.  It's a bit like berating people for seeking out nice beer they like the taste of, because you just want the cheapest lager you can find to get shit faced on.  Bizarre.

Christ, so much pretentious bollocks about a milky coffee!

There is, but not on this thread. Coffee, like bikes, cars, wine, music, food etc can be good or it can be shit. You must appreciate that, surely? The OP wants to find the best coffee available for the least amount of money and faff - I can't really criticise them for that.

I went to get a flat white last week but they wouldn't do one as "receive had their own interpretation"

I'm under the impression it's a recipe/ratio thing with no interpretation?

40ml espresso

120ml milk

I’m under the impression it’s a recipe/ratio thing with no interpretation?

The Aussies and Kiwis are still scrapping over who invented it, let alone agreeing on an exact recipe!  There are loads of slight variations, even in the best coffee shops. It's typically a double espresso with steamed micro-foam milk, but without the 'froth' you get with other espresso milk drinks. The exact ratio varies, but it has a stronger coffee hit than a latte or cappuccino.

Wow, as predicted by someone up thread, I've disappeared down a rabbit hole...that James Hoffman video implies far too much faffing to me. I appreciate that many others enjoy the ritual/process involved but I tend towards laziness and impatience so I'm thinking a small (takes up minimum counter space*) espresso/steamer might be the answer.

So any specific "all in one" devices at the lower end of the price spectrum I should look out for (and any I should specifically avoid as they are crap)? Ease/speed of use is priority rather than absolute quality. And Mrs Vlad isn't a coffee drinker so I don't need high capacity.

Also, why don't people just buy pre-ground coffee? (I'm not sure of purpose of owning your own grinder...)

* I'll hide or dispose some of the gadgets Mrs Vlad clogs up our kitchen counter space with when she's lot at work 😉

A second hand Gaggia baby/classic even de longhi Icona probably £30 would do but a bit plastic but without the grinder no control over how much spurting of the espresso everywhere if it's a crappy rough supermarket grind

Also, why don’t people just buy pre-ground coffee? (I’m not sure of purpose of owning your own grinder…)

Pretty much the same reason that, given the choice, most people don’t eat tinned vegetables.

Also, why don’t people just buy pre-ground coffee? (I’m not sure of purpose of owning your own grinder…)

Reason 1.  Coffee starts to lose its flavour and stales much more rapidly once ground.  Freshly roasted beans, ground just before you brew will taste night and day better than pre-ground commodity coffee. If that's important to you. If it's not and you just want a caffeine hit, then pre-ground may work for you.

Reason 2. You can't make genuine espresso with pre-ground as it's not fine enough. You can make a dumbed down version if you use a pressurised basket, but proper espresso needs very finely ground coffee and the ability to make small adjustments to the grind size to dial in each new coffee.

Faffy? Yes. Worth it for the best achievable flavour? Yes.

@bloke...

Can you define "rapidly"?

If I get small batches of very finely ground coffee from a local roaster every couple of weeks, would I notice??

(Probably not as I haven't gone all-in coffee snob...yet)

If I get small batches of very finely ground coffee from a local roaster every couple of weeks, would I notice??

No, possibly not depending on how ‘acquired’ your taste is. They will likely offer you an espresso grind too so a very good compromise, it’s what I do for AeroPress coffee (which is minimal faff once you get used to it). It’s pre ground supermarket coffee that’s no good in this situation.

Sage Bambino

Comandante C40 or similar

Normcore tamper 54mm

Distribution ring 54mm

WDT tool

Mini scales with timer

Naked/bottomless portafilter

Speciality coffee beans (roasted in the last week or so, ideally locally)

Good water (Tesco Ashbeck)

60 mins on YouTube and a few days of frustration

She likes a latte and it does a pretty nice hands off froth job

Beg your pardon?

If I get small batches of very finely ground coffee from a local roaster every couple of weeks, would I notice??

Depends how much you get through. I keep some at work in a sealed jar. It definitely gets worse if it's left for too long, but up to a week I think it's ok.

OP as folks shave said, the minimum amount of equipment to do this well would be

fancy bean to cup machine

or

OK small espresso machine, good grinder, milk jug

if what you want is strong coffee mixed with a big volume of foamy milk then you could use

strong coffee from your favoured source

foaming milk jug/heater. I got the Illy one for one of our children. I was surprised how effective it was.

folks have already suggested all of these, but having an OK espresso machine (La Spaziale Vivaldi) I figured the ‘I’ve used a coffee machine and a milk frother’ experience might help.

Generally I want no more than a couple of minutes making a coffee, then take it back to bed.

You may sneer, but this consists of

Mug of oat milk, couple of minutes in the microwave. Nespresso double espresso

Job jobbed

Oat milk makes a much nicer white coffee than cows milk IMO

No milk makes a much nicer coffee than cows or any milk IMO

😉

The exact ratio varies, but it has a stronger coffee hit than a latte or cappuccino

This seems up for debate - the first couple of results on google have it either equal, or the other way round:

https://twochimpscoffee.com/blogs/flat-white-vs-cappuccino/

https://coffeebros.com/blogs/coffee/flat-white-vs-cappuccino-every-difference-you-need-to-know

I reckon if you went to one of the coffee producing countries, went to a plantation and had a coffee made there by one of the workers, they'd make it in a stove top pot. Any chit chat about ultimate temperatures, grind size or other coffee related western ideals, they'd look at you as if you were mental.

This seems up for debate – the first couple of results on google have it either equal, or the other way round:

Yep, there is definitely no consensus on an exact recipe/ratio.  There are as many links claiming the opposite to those you posted for example:

""The Cappuccino usually consists of a simple espresso and two parts milk froth – a liquid part and a solid milk froth topping which usually rises slightly over the edge of the cup. The Flat White, on the other hand, is prepared with a double Espresso Ristretto – which is a more concentrated version of espresso. By reducing the amount of water and flowtime, the espresso comes out a little stronger".

The thing I have found is that all decent coffee houses have their own interpretation of Latte, cappuccino, macchiato, flat white etc.  ISTR there is an Italian espresso institute which tries to codify these things, but their definition of (for example) a cappuccino is pretty far removed from what you'll get in a lot of coffee shops.  Not just the chain shops, but good independent speciality coffee shops. They probably don't even try with the flat white because of it's southern hemisphere origins, so it's a free for all.  It's a bit like a Chicken Jalfriezi in one curry house will be as mild as you like and in another will be like napalm.

I'm fine with that - I don't want a rule bound homogeneous product, I want to experience different interpretations and the skill of the Barista.

Some of the comments remind me of the time we did a ride to Blackpool for fish & chips, and I tried to order a flat white.

I got a very long suffering look from the waitress who said,

"We're a chippy love, I can do you a milky coffee?"

Oat milk makes a much nicer white coffee than cows milk IMO

fact.

More consistent out of the carton. Creamier texture when foamed. More forgiving when steaming, whisking, or frothering.

I understand some baristas are trained on oat milk before attempting cow milk.

also, lower carbon footprint and lower water consumption for production than other milks.

I reckon if you went to one of the coffee producing countries, went to a plantation and had a coffee made there by one of the workers, they’d make it in a stove top pot.

Why stop there? Hunter-gatherers might well have chewed the fruit fresh off the tree.

I understand some baristas are trained on oat milk before attempting cow milk.

also, lower carbon footprint and lower water consumption for production than other milks.

As with all these things, it's not that simple.  My vegetarian wife likes Oatly Barista in her coffee and I have it occasionally as an alternative to dairy. It does froth quite well with my espresso machine's steam wand.  She prefers the taste to milk, I don't but I think it's OK. Even as an omnivore I have issues with the dairy industry so would love oat milk to be an ethical and environmentally sound option.  Seems it might not be, or at least not as much as we might like to think.  Everything we buy and consume has an environmental impact. I get that, but I think some of these companies are borderline dishonest in the way they market the eco benefits of some products.  Including oat milk.

"Oat milk is killing the planet The billion-dollar industry has duped vegan activists".

The article title is a bit OTT ("killing the planet") and there are bound to be alternative takes on it, but just pointing out that no option is without impact.

Re oat milk. Yes it is good. They are not all the same though. Oatly Barista is very easy to steam to nice flat white consistency. Similar to whole cows milk. Some other non-dairy milks are hard. Soy milk is a tricky one for me as it can't be heated as much. Still doable. I did a course and was trained on cows milk and it translated fine to oat milk.

When I was in New Zealand 15+ years ago you could get a decent Flat White almost anywhere. They did invent them though

What the skibadee? Kiwis invented flat whites? Is this factual or one of them Kiwi things they say? True bro?

They invented pavlova too apparently. So legend has it. Although a point argued by Aussies who claim they invented it.

I do hate asking for espresso though. "Short black?"   "No, 6'2" white!"

Or "can I just have a black coffee?"    "A long black?"     fffffffaaaaarrrkkkkkkkkkkk

I know interpretation differs but when I order a flat white, what I'm looking for is a strong coffee shot with less milk, that's still frothed to give a creamier texture. It's probably closer in flavour to what you'd get in Italy when you order a cappuccino over what is made in the UK, which usually has more milk in a bigger cup.

I'm not a big fan of pods but my workplace got a L'Or machine that can take the XL pods which give an excellent strong shot of coffee, plus a Dualit frother using full fat milk (or my personal favourite Alpro Almond Barista which is slightly sweet and less calorific than oat / full) you get a really creamy texture.

Combine the two and it's a better flat white than most local coffee shops manage (which has been increasingly poor here) we've stopped buying coffee out at work with a total outlay of about £100.

I came to say a beanie hat that doesn't cover your ears, some short trousers and an organic cotton chore jacket, but it seems I've misjudged the crowd...

they’d look at you as if you were mental.

Sure, but let the coffee nerds have their fun, eh?

That UnHerd article is absolutely diabolical.  Here are the reasons he offers for why Oat milk is 'killing the planet':

• It is expensive
• Some of the claims in Oatly's marketing may be questionable (but no source is provided)
• It is not as nutrient rich as dairy milk
• Someone who owns shares in Oatly donated to Donald Trump
• People who protest against cow milk are entitled middle-class ponces
• Oatly once did a sponsorship deal with a petrol station company
• The Pesticide Action Network has found pesticide residues on many grains, including barley, wheat and oats.

That's it.

Incidentally, the author is a dairy farmer and writer from Herefordshire.

I don't actually buy oat milk, or any other alternative, but I wouldn't base any purchasing decisions on the 6th form guff in that article.

I don’t actually buy oat milk, or any other alternative, but I wouldn’t base any purchasing decisions on the 6th form guff in that article.

Me neither, as I said we buy Oatly. The link was a lazy Google - not claiming it's rigorously researched and impartial. There are plenty of other (possibly more credible) sources which either promote or raise concerns with dairy and all the alternatives. I'm just saying that in my case, every time I think I've found something I can consume with a clear conscience, the briefest look under the surface can have me doubting it. YMMV

Some of the comments remind me of the time we did a ride to Blackpool for fish & chips, and I tried to order a flat white.

I got a very long suffering look from the waitress who said,

“We’re a chippy love, I can do you a milky coffee?”

This pleases me greatly

So any specific “all in one” devices at the lower end of the price spectrum I should look out for

The Ronco Flat White Magician, an astonishing all-in-one device with two funnels, one for milk and one for coffee granules. Pour in, press the button and seconds later a perfect flat white pours out of the machine and all for just £9.99. Would have been available every Christmas in the 1980s, probably. In a parallel universe...

every time I think I’ve found something I can consume with a clear conscience, the briefest look under the surface can have me doubting it.

Yeah I certainly suffer from that!  Personally I suspect Oat milk is probably better for the environment than (most) dairy milk, but I still buy organic dairy anyway. But I take my coffee black, so maybe that puts me back on the level??!

Looking at some (very) cheap espresso machines on Amazon (shoot me...)

Some are advertised as 3.5 bar and some more expensive ones are 15 bar.

Would I be correct in assuming 15 bar means it is faster or has higher capacity? But 3.5 bar should be sufficient for one person whose not really in a hurry???

Christ, so much pretentious bollocks about a milky coffee!

box of Kenco flat white sachets , and a kettle of hot water. Job jobbed

For maximum annoyance , buy them from Amazon

3.5 is not enough to make espresso. Get the 15.

Some are advertised as 3.5 bar and some more expensive ones are 15 bar.

As above, 3.5 bar is too low. Around 9 bar is the sweet spot for espresso. Higher isn't really better. 15 bar will work though. Some machines come set to 15 bar because it allows people with no grinder to use coarser pre-ground coffee in a pressurised basket.  If you are looking to grind your own (and enjoy fresher more flavourful coffee as a result), something near 9 bar used with a non-pressurised basket might be better long term.

Some machines have adjustable pressure valves and some which don't (Gaggia Classic, Rancillio Silver) can be easily modified by swapping a spring.  Gaggia Classics are a good second hand buy. Cheap, well built, easy to work on and modify, loads of spares available.

box of Kenco flat white sachets , and a kettle of hot water. Job jobbed

See also powdered egg, instant mash etc. if you like that sort of thing.

I was just coming in to post "a ticket to New Zealand" but I see you have that covered, well done chaps, as you were.

What gets sold as a Flat White over here is far too weak and milky.