[Closed] What coffee to put in my rectum?

I can't tell the difference between super expensive snobby stuff and Starbucks. With my mouth. So it would be slightly remiss to tell you what to put up your bum.

I find that any strong coffee applied orally irrigates my colon quite effectively.

haha IHN my thoughts exactly

Ask a civet, they know about rectal coffee.

Mellow Turds?

Assrabica?

Robuttso?

[i]Ask a civet, they know about rectal coffee. [/i]

A Civet Bang then?

That woman is completely and utterly off her rocker!

How did she go from being a decent actress to becoming one of the weirdest people to grace the media?

A lady I know has champagne enemas.
She also detoxed on a pint of olive oil. Messy.

[i]How did she go from being a decent actress to becoming one of the weirdest people to grace the media?[/i]

I think the thing is that there's lots of people who are really weird and also good at their job. They're not mutually exclusive.

We just tend to see it more with people in the public eye.

I find that any strong coffee applied orally irrigates my colon quite effectively.

+1

Speaking of which, the turtle stirs.

Brown Mountain for the win!

@zippykona is she on tinder?

Tea is a much better choice for this IME. Variety is critical though.

Which one should you use, you ask?

Assam.

(Here all week, IGMC etc)

Anyone else looking at that picture in the first post and thinking 'ghetto tubeless inflator'.......

Surely it's t-ass-imo coffee you want to use with it?

Cold.

Lavassa, surely?

SaxonRider - Member

That woman is completely and utterly off her rocker!

How did she go from being a decent actress to becoming one of the weirdest people to grace the media?

I would like to blame Coldplay face, but being off your rocker isn't necessarily a big barrier to being a good actress, especially when the type of crazy she's indulging in is wu wu faith healing bullshit that probably goes over quite well with her peer group.

Anyway, she's now making millions selling crap to gullible half wits - lunatic or marketing genius?

I recommend an arsetisan coffee very finely ground by a beardy hipster wearing tweed underwear

Poor form on the thread title choice.

‘What coffee for arseholes?’ Shirley...

Cappuccino

I recommend an arsetisan coffee very finely ground by a beardy hipster wearing tweed underwear

Don't forget the waistcoat....

N-ass-cafe 🙂

Nothing wrong with colonic irrigation, in my experience. Coffee wasn't involved though.

Brown Mountain for the win!

*coffee tries to escape through nose*

[img] [/img]

*coffee tries to escape through nose*

How far up did you shove the pipe? 😯

[i]How far up did you shove the pipe?[/i]

Top tip: An Airshot is not an appropriate source of compressed air for this type of activity.

Mellow Turds

We have a Winner!

Top tip: An Airshot is not an appropriate source of compressed air for this type of activity.

I wouldn't use an Aeropress either.

How far up did you shove the pipe?

Far enough, obviously!

😡

That woman is completely and utterly off her rocker!

How did she go from being a decent actress to becoming one of the weirdest people to grace the media?

Too much money, too many people telling you you are wonderful and living in California. Other barking actresses are available:

https://www.express.co.uk/celebrity-news/403526/Sarah-Miles-opens-healing-centre-in-her-home

It's the Muppet show, 'an enema doo doo d' didoo'.

'would you prefer a continental or a Kenyan, sir?'

next thread "what pressure washer for colonic irrigation with coffee"

Surely any brand of asspresso will do.

Didn't she write a chocolate brownie recipe where the ingredients came to £50 ?

These people live on another planet and think they can tell everyone how easy it is to be perfect like them excluding the fact we don't have millions of pounds...

Didn't she write a chocolate brownie recipe where the ingredients came to £50 ?

Nothing wrong with that if you're feeling flush.

Q. What coffee to put in my rectum?
A. Not mine.

Didn't she write a chocolate brownie recipe where the ingredients came to £50 ?

Surely depends on the quality of the hash?

I don’t know about coffee, but if you are using tea - only Assam will do.

Nothing wrong with colonic irrigation, in my experience

But what does it actually achieve?

Quite a lot if you're the quack selling the 'service' to idiots with more money than sense.

But what does it actually achieve?

If you've been prone to constipation/sluggish bowels then it can help. I was very surprised at the number of loo visits needed afterwards. Irrigation also showed that I had candida which wasn't actually a surprise.

Quite a lot if you're the quack selling the 'service' to idiots with more money than sense.

Oooh, get you.

covfefe

When anyone rights 'clearout' on the for sale /classifieds section does anyone else think 'post coffee bottom emptying' or is it just me?

next thread "what pressure washer for colonic irrigation with coffee"

This [url= https://www.amazon.co.uk/Colt-COLT-Vibro-Cleanse/dp/B01BKU9S3I ]one[/url]?

Any of you chaps undergone this procedure? Anyone likely to?

😀

Nasscafe Brown Blend.

Colonbian

Did I mention the mirror?

Any of you chaps undergone this procedure? Anyone likely to?

What temperature does the Gwyneth recommend?

[img] ?v=1461980047[/img]

Colonbian

😆

Deserves recognition.

Turkish?

Ingår påtår?

I recommend an arsetisan coffee very finely ground by a beardy hipster wearing tweed underwear

A stimulating coffee is what all of us need in the morning apparently.

I prefer rectally administered cocaine, suspended in a solution of vodka.

****ing amateurs.

yunki - Member
covfefe

😆 I think we've actually discovered what he meant, and there's only one arsehole it goes up 😀

huckleberryfatt - Member

Cappuccino

Didn't she write a chocolate brownie recipe where the ingredients came to £50 ?

Weren't mocha flavoured were they?

Oooh, get you.

Constipated?

There are remedies for that.

How much do you want to lose your marbles?

https://www.theguardian.com/travel/2002/mar/09/restandrelaxation.shopping

I’ve debated posting this in my head, but I hope it will be taken in the right way(?)

[b]Cinnamon girl[/b], I think you should try to avoid the temptation to advance any old quackery so long as it is a bit ‘alternative’ and a bit ‘right on’.

You have a lot of good things to say about Lyme Disease, and are often shouted down by people for reasons that I can’t fathom (or can, but only if I engage my troll radar). Lyme Disease is a long term health problem, that is massively (and often willingly) misunderstood, yet has been found in the fossil record in the bones of ancient human corpses and must have had an effect on their day to day lives. It is undeniably a long term and debilitating illness, especially if not managed and treated.

But contributing positively on a thread about the supposed health benefits of swilling an Americano around one’s jacksie weakens your admirable stance elsewhere. Getting punchy about it when it is called out for what it is (First World, supposedly ‘natural’ bullshit being sold to daft yet rich people), also doesn’t help. Not everything that is ‘holistic’ and trendy is right, and impressionable people will be impressionable.

Take this comment however you want to, I hope you see it is in the right spirit.

It's your ass ffs, just use that powedery shit that makes Asda smartprice taste good.

For putting up the windy passage I’d use Mellow Birds or some other cheap stuff.

I prefer rectally administered cocaine, suspended in a solution of vodka

I’d give the vodka ago not sure the cocaine would be a good idea.

I do doubt the err health benefits of colonic irrigation, seems another silly fad for people with lots of money and time on their hands. Same for detoxing got kidneys that do that.

I think colonic irrigation is just a convenient excuse for people that like having things stuck up their bum a bit too much 😆

Read the article with interest ...... it’s not my cup of tea

I'm not sure about the original question in the OP, but I have figured out what to do with the ‘used’ coffee.

[img] [/img]

So when in the gangster-type movies they say "I'm gonna pop a cap in yo ass", that's an abbreviation for cappuccino?

No I think it's those new-fangled coffee capsules.

So the coffee is in - how do I get the jar out though...?

You’ll need around 9bar of pressure and a temp of 93 degrees to produce a decent crema and hopefully you’ll get a dry puck ejected, how hard did you tamp down?, I hope not more than 15kg of pressure otherwise you’ll more than likely have to resort to a manual extraction of the grounds

Shit! I used at least 17.5kg of pressure using an artisanal dessert spoon.

error

Insert bottle of camp coffee and stand on head, saves faffage? 😯