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Not sure what is more worrying. ~30% of people don't think they could take on a rat or 10% of americans think they could take on an elephant.
What animal could you take on?
Brits are clearly more[s] fighters [/s]lovers than the yanks
~30% of people don’t think they could take on a rat
I'd say that 30% are the informed minority!
I've caught a rat with a spade and a hammer. **** going hand to hand.
I've always thought I would win against a wolf (just one, not a pack). It's just a big dog at the end of the day. I'm not saying I would escape unhurt, but pretty sure I could come out victorious. I love that more people think a king cobra would be easier to handle 😂
Edit: A goose!? Hell no, those things are terrifying!
I reckon I could take on a large dog. I’ve owned a few and they tend to be placid, slow and spend 99.9% of their time asleep. House cat, no problem and I fancy my chances against an eagle if indoors. Would be close though and I’d have some top scars for life.
Where are midges?
I don't think a cobra would be a big deal. But an adult chimp could just pull your arms and legs off
I’d say that 30% are the informed minority!
It says take on, not defeat. I mean, if I had to kill a rat and had no weapons, I'd give it a go. I might not win but I doubt I'd lose. I'd be far less confident against an elephant.
Large dog - depends on the stakes. For a bag of dog biscuits, unless I were starving then I'd let it. If it had my kid in its jaws, definitely.
I'd fancy my chances a boatload more against a kangaroo than I would a chimp! I can't imagine the mindset that allows you to think you could beat a gorilla, lion, elephant or grizzly - I've never been that confident.
Are we talking hand-to hand/ or do we have a RAMBO knife?
I reckon I'd stand a chance against a Quokka but I'd be forever an outcast once people found out.
pondo
Full MemberI’d fancy my chances a boatload more against a kangaroo than I would a chimp! I can’t imagine the mindset that allows you to think you could beat a gorilla, lion, elephant or grizzly – I’ve never been that confident.
The question is, what sort of unarmed combat. Like, if it's no-holds-barred, I wouldn't fancy my chances but I'd be pretty confident that an elephant doesn't fully grasp the rules of boxing, frinstance, and is likely to get disqualified.
I don't fancy my chances with any of those, wild animals are best observed from a safe distance.
Red kangaroos are nowt to be trifled with. Up to 1.8 m tall, 90 kg and they grab round the neck with their front paws and disembowel with their powerful back legs. They are used to fighting each other despite being herbivores I would not fancy my chances. I d rather take on a wolf.
There was a R4 prog a while back talking about people are more dumb now, ie I am sure I could fight a Grizzly... They were blaming the likes of YT
I'm not keen to fight anything, is that okay?
Saying that, I have seen all the Crocodile Dundee films so could probably kill a croc with my bear hands by repeatedly punching it in the face.
I reckon I could seriously **** up a pigeon.
Love these, real pub conversation. Anyway I reckon I'd struggle against a T-Rex. And Zippy and Bungle.
I would reckon I could take on a guinea pig if the fight was a fair one. I'd struggle against a russian dwarf hamster. They are vicious.
Monkey wise, maybe I could take a tamarin, few kicks to the face. Smother it when it's knocked out.
Just wondering wether I could take a goat down. That would be an interesting match up. A lot of dodging, then wrestling. I think that would be a really tough fight.
My takeaway from this is that whoever designed this survey had clearly been microdosing. Alas they missed the more interesting subsidiary question of what would vegans do.
Also, that research needs a triangulated approach to give a centre ground.
I vote that we ask the resident Aussies in the forum....
I’d fancy my chances a boatload more against a kangaroo than I would a chimp! I can’t imagine the mindset that allows you to think you could beat a gorilla, lion, elephant or grizzly – I’ve never been that confident.
Allowing for some reading comprehension, the gun owning ones?
Edit: A goose!? Hell no, those things are terrifying!
That reminds me, one of those bastards used to terrorise me on one of my COVID walking routes during spring 2020 lockdown. It'd lay in wait somewhere as I passed the farm then suddenly appear from nowhere and put the absolute shits up me. I always swore I'd come back in my car when lockdown was over and run the sod over.
Now on the list of Thursday's jobs, goose murdering!
I’d struggle against a russian dwarf hamster. They are vicious.
They are still semi-tameable though. Its the other species which have cant be which are the really scary ones.
I am curious who thinks they could take an elephant unarmed. Exactly what is their plan of attack there.
matt_outandabout
Full MemberI vote that we ask the resident Aussies in the forum….
WE could do but they wouldn't answer, they're all too busy fighting spiders
could probably kill a croc with my bear hands
Chance are significantly enhanced if you have bear hands, as opposed to bare ones.
Surely there's a point at which biomechanically it's no longer possible?
If you got lucky then you could break the neck of anything smaller than the medium dog, or the snake, but anything larger and in the absence of tools, what's the strategy?
more interesting subsidiary question of what would vegans do.
Laugh from the sidelines as all the "I'd definitely be prepared to kill my own food" get mauled.
Shout "he's behind you" as Basic-Bacon-Bro is distracted from the gorilla as he tells the "how can you tell someone is vegan?" joke for the hundredth time.
Eats shoots and leaves.
I am curious who thinks they could take an elephant unarmed. Exactly what is their plan of attack there.
Run round behind it and punch it in the bollocks. Easy. Next!.
but anything larger and in the absence of tools, what’s the strategy?
Kick in the bollocks.
Edit: beaten to it
2md edit: failing finding balls.
Not a cat
I am curious who thinks they could take an elephant unarmed. Exactly what is their plan of attack there.
Trip it up then suffocate it by putting its nose up your jumper.
but anything larger and in the absence of tools, what’s the strategy?
Choke it to death by getting stuck in its throat
If you got lucky then you could break the neck of anything smaller than the medium dog, or the snake, but anything larger and in the absence of tools, what’s the strategy?
Our unique ability to turn our hands into fists is one of the more overlooked things that gave us an edge over our competitors in the food chain back in the day, so you could use those
https://www.economist.com/science-and-technology/2012/12/22/making-a-fist-of-it
People are stupid, a chimp could pull you apart without really breaking a sweat. I've been 20ft away from a black bear, and it was obvious to both of us who was in charge, the idea of taking on a Grizzly is fantasy land really.
Our unique ability to turn our hands into fists is one of the more overlooked things that gave us an edge over our competitors in the food chain back in the day, so you could use those
Yea, but the lion isn't going to just stand there for 12 rounds
People are stupid, a chimp could pull you apart without really breaking a sweat. I’ve been 20ft away from a black bear, and it was obvious to both of us who was in charge, the idea of taking on a Grizzly is fantasy land really.
I once wrote a design spec for a chimpanzee proof camera housing.
We started with the one we developed for polar bears and made it tougher.
I reckon I could seriously **** up a pigeon.
Have you ever tried to kick a pigeon? Even if you zero in on one with one leg you can't do it.
RIP Sean Lock
the idea of taking on a Grizzly is fantasy land really.
Those crazy 'mericans
https://www.thejournal.ie/chasing-black-bears-massacusetts-2098908-May2015/
I reckon I’d stand a chance against a Quokka but I’d be forever an outcast once people found out.
You monster!
Variation - you have a multi tool and one minute to remove a part from your bike for use in the fight. What part do you use and which otherwise undefeatable animal can you win against?
I reckon I’d batter most marine life. On land.
How big is the room?
Banska Stiavnica - Erasmus+ Bioprofiles
don’t think it would matter. Birds have soft bones and not much mass. Grab it by a wing and I reckon it would be game over. You’d get plenty of cuts and scars but I reckon it would be one of the easiest on the list.
Chimps are terrifying aggressive bags of pure muscle and hate. Don’t think I’d last thirty seconds against one. Elephants, lions and bears are a no go too. How could you even really hurt an elephant with your bare hands? Eye jab?
If you got lucky then you could break the neck of anything smaller than the medium dog, or the snake, but anything larger and in the absence of tools, what’s the strategy?
What part of a snake is the neck?
You could break it down in to what tools you are equipped with. So versus a wolf for example. Wolfy McWolfson has four sets of claws and a set of jaws. You have, at the start any way, teeth, fingers, fists, elbows, head, knees, feet and the ability to grapple, throw etc.
I can’t imagine the mindset that allows you to think you could beat a gorilla, lion, elephant or grizzly – I’ve never been that confident.
TBF Anyone who's ever been that confident probably isn't available to tell you how it went...
Apart from Liam of course
Variation – you have a multi tool and one minute to remove a part from your bike for use in the fight. What part do you use and which otherwise undefeatable animal can you win against?
There's probably something pointy on the multi-tool, I'd just use that rather than faff with my bike, reckon I could jab a screwdriver into a wolf's ribs, I'd probably end up with a ruined arm for my troubles at least though...
Obviously the Bombers or failing that the handlebar. Reach would be a good thing against things with big teeth or for smacking a snake to death
Chain. Or maybe gear cable. Reckon I could batter then throttle the goose. Maybe. As long as the goose doesn't choose the QR.
I'd like to think I could take on a at least a goat.
I reckon your only chance with most of them is to play the long game, strike up a bond with the animal, keep it as a pet for a while and then, when it's least expecting it, push it off a cliff or something.
Obviously that won't work for the eagle, you'd look kinda foolish as it flew off.
And I have my doubts that any of the above would work for a cobra.
Variation – you have a multi tool and one minute to remove a part from your bike for use in the fight. What part do you use and which otherwise undefeatable animal can you win against?
If on my commute I came across an angry chimp I'd definitely carefully remove the crank arms and whip out the square tapered bottom bracket, it's quite weighty so should work well as a knuckle duster type thing.
Rabbit, as long as it's got a good case of myxomatosis.
don’t think it would matter. Birds have soft bones and not much mass. Grab it by a wing and I reckon it would be game over.
Right
9 ft high and 20 odd stone. Cant run away either - they can do 70 mph. Meet one of these boys after its had 10 pts of stella on a satruday night........
square tapered bottom bracket, it’s quite weighty so should work well as a knuckle duster type thing.
take off your sock and you have a pretty handy ranged weapon! Think it would just anger a chimp though and make things worse for you in the long run
@TJ forgot about the Ostrich. They seem like the spawn of a goose and a Velociraptor from Jurassic Park (not the real turkey sized ones). Proof that there is no God.
Still think I could take on an eagle or all the members of The Eagles
What animal could you take on?
With bare hands one to one I can definitely take on these anytime:
Rat
House cat
Goose
Medium sized dog
Eagle
I reckon I can:
Large dog
King Cobra
Wolf
I cannot with these:
Chimpanzee
Kangaroo
Crocodile
Gorilla
Lion
Elephant
Crizzly bear
What's your King Cobra strategy, Chewkw? Remember, unarmed combat, no sticks etc. You have to get in there and grapple.
Still think I could take on an eagle or all the members of The Eagles
Reckon I'd stand a chance against Glenn Frey.
Rabbit, as long as it’s got a good case of myxomatosis.
I *know* I can, having dispatched more than a few with a stick.
My first job was turkey killing, plucking and gutting for Christmas, so I also know a turkey or chicken is easy meat.
What’s your King Cobra strategy, Chewkw? Remember, unarmed combat, no sticks etc. You have to get in there and grapple.
Yes, hand only. Some people in my country have King Cobra as pets.
King Cobras do Not attack people unless provoke and because of their large size they are not as fast but its venom can easily kill an elephant.
However, smaller faster cobras or viper type snakes I am not that confident.
p/s: there is a trend now in my part of the world to have King Cobras as pets which is cruel because they feed them with other rat snakes and harmless snakes or even civet cats ... absolutely hate that.
What part of a snake is the neck?
I'm no Michaela Strachan, but all of it below the head I reckon.
Did we decide who stated the scrap? If I've got the element of surprise, that's going to even thing up a bit.
Throw the mouse at the elephant and it'll trample everything else as it flees
....Oh hang on....No mouse.
You'd beat a rat but it'd make an mess of you in the process, probably one of the fights id fancy the least tbh. Even over some of the ones i'd lose. King cobra would be try get is tail and swing round your head a few times then smash it into a tree/rock. I'd estimate about a 0.00002% success rate on that though.
What part of a snake is the neck?
You will be dead by the time you figure out the neck.
Anti-venom for King Cobra is not very effective because of the high dosage once bitten, hence they are very deadly.
I don't know how many times you'd have to hit a king cobra to kill it, but it only has to hit you once...
With bare hands one to one I can definitely take on these anytime:
I reckon I can:
Wolf
There's no way you're taking a wolf out fam.
Strike first, strike hard
There’s no way you’re taking a wolf out fam.
If they are in pack I can't but one to one I might have a chance provided it is not a surprised ambush on me.
My home town … kids playing with wild crocodile That's a juvenile salty by the way.
double post
Red kangaroos are nowt to be trifled with. Up to 1.8 m tall, 90 kg and they grab round the neck with their front paws and disembowel with their powerful back legs.
I see Eastern Grey Roos all the time when riding. Big ones (males or females) are awe inspiring. I got a fright yesterday riding to work when a massive male bounced off next to me and I hadn’t seen it. They normally run away to be fair but every now and then they stand and stare with a fistful of grass and I imagine them saying ‘do you feel lucky punk?’
I feel like the elephant in the room here is the gorilla. Just mental.
matt_outandabout
Full MemberMy first job was turkey killing, plucking and gutting for Christmas, so I also know a turkey or chicken is easy meat.
Yeah, but farm birds... How would you get on vs a wild chicken, or an urban turkey?
I feel like the elephant in the room here is the gorilla. Just mental.
I reckon gorilla or chimpanzee can tear people apart like pulled pork or Kentucky fried chicken. The latter love a bit of protein from meat.
House cat, no problem
Chimp versus poultry.
Feel like the QI klaxxon might go off now but....
What about a cougar?
As good as I feel currently, I'm thinking the relentless onslaught of a snail or a slug would be a bit of a challenge! 🥵
What about a cougar?
Death at that hands of a hot older woman! Now that I'm not totally against... 😉
I reckon I’d batter most marine life.
That's what the guy in the chip shop said
A grizzly? Possible with the correct technique.
Proof?
I was biking up to Cape York when a big emu came out of the scrub by the side of the track and ran alongside me for a fair while. I was fairly shifting, I was on TTR600! I basically soiled myself when it sped up and then ducked in front of me and shot back into the scrub on the other side. No way would I be getting in a rumble with one of them.
Ahem ...
Cocaine Bear anyone?
Reckon I could choke a chicken or wax a dolphin, no way I could spank a monkey though.
Chimp versus poultry.
That's not a chimp but a howler monkey or spider monkey which is not aggressive at all.
It's also not poultry but a porcupine.